Paramour
by ManiacalBliss
Summary: “Don’t cry love. It’s not your burden to bear.” He pulled away, looking me in the eyes seriously. I paused for a moment, then embraced him tighter and kissed him fervently once more. "You made it my burden when you said you loved me." -excerpt-
1. Chapter 1: Something Unexpected

Chp. 1 Something Unexpected

Shifting in my uncomfortable, tatty, bed sheets, I opened my eyes to another dreary day in Ymir British Columbia. The cold morning and the intense light streaming through my window was what woke me. I stretched out on the bed, wincing slightly as my bruises were still tender. A sad thought came upon me; I used to appreciate the light and cool mornings, because of their ability to wake me up before school started. I rarely appreciated anything anymore. Life meant nothing to me anymore, not that it mattered to me much more before it happened. Before _he_ died; my dad. The only person I could talk to… but even come to think of it, he didn't even really know me. No one did.

Although, my dad _had_ been my savior from many things; including my mother. Life had turned even more horrible than it was before, after he died. And the main reason for my horrible life _was_ my mother- or, as I called her most of the time, Cynthia. She had such a pretty name for such a vile creature. She had abused me since I was five to this very day. Dad was the one to stop it. But now, without him here to stop it...

Sometimes she didn't even have a reason to do it, even though it was wrong to do, in my eyes, anyways. The only person that had actually _cared_ about me had been taken cruelly last year next week in a car crash. I had stopped grieving over dad's death a few months ago. I was just severely depressed now. Well, more depressed then before, anyway. Grieving would do no good. It wouldn't bring him back.

Why couldn't it have been Cynthia? And thinking that would be a cruel idea to anyone else, but if you were me, you wouldn't think it so cruel. The reason she was so evil to me was because I always her "mistake". She had always regretted not getting an abortion when she found out she was pregnant, as she always reminded me. My dad was the one who made her keep me when he found out. And that was why she always beat me without a hint of regret.

My dad had been the only one who I could talk to. I didn't even have one friend at high school. Everyone tended to avoid me. Or they tortured me. I was the freakish klutzy kid to them at school. Oh well. Everything would be fine, I hoped, when I moved out and got an apartment far away from my mother and the other stuck-up kids at school. That wouldn't be a problem, either. I had been saving pretty much all my life for that day.

"Marie! Get up!" Cynthia's screechy voice yelled from behind my door. Her voice pulled me off my train of thought.

I sighed, and yelled back, "Fine!" meanwhile planting my face in my pillow. Great, I had to face another depressing day at the Salmo Secondary School. It was most likely only like that to me.

Everyday for the other students was make-fun-of-the-klutz-day. And the klutz was me.

I sighed in frustration before hoisting myself out of bed to get ready for the day. As I got up, my bruises ached. I ignored it; I was to use too it by now.

My alarm clock read 7:45 AM and school started at 8:05 AM. Cursing under my breath I realized I would have to be really quick, since it took almost ten minutes to get to school. I lived all the way out on the outskirts of town, and everything including the school was inside the town. You could barely see the house from the road. Our house was practically encircled in trees, so it almost seemed like we lived in the forest. It was hard to understand why my mother wanted to live out here. From my understanding, she liked the sun a lot, and the ancient trees around us provided lots of shade; almost blocking the sun out.

I snatched a change of clothes out of my little mahogany dresser that took up half the space in my room, and sprinted to the bathroom. My room had to be the smallest one in the house. Even the kitchen was bigger than my room. It connected with the living room, making it one wide, and open space right when you came in the door. But I never complained about how small my room was; I couldn't with the view I got from my window.

Hastily, I left my room and sprinted through the living room slash kitchen to the bathroom. As I laid out my towels and clothes for after my shower, I quickly inspected my face. The big green-blue blotches that covered most of my skin were fading. Good. I really hated having those bruises, and I really loathed using cover up. They were always tender, and I could hardly move without feeling pain shoot to the area that had a bruise on it.

As soon as I had jumped in the shower-tub, the scalding hot water relaxed me. I loved taking showers. It was one of my favorite things to do besides reading, listening to music, and going to school. It was really weird for a kid to like school, I had always thought. But it was just another way to stay away from my mother. That's pretty sad, if you ask me.

I washed my hair quickly with my favorite lavender scented shampoo, washed my body, and then stepped out of the shower. I wrapped the towel around me securely; I already missed the heat of the shower. Wringing out my long, black hair, I then proceeded putting on my big, baggy black clothing. I felt, I don't know… comfortable, I guess, in them.

My appearance matched my mood. Faded, dull, depressed.

I was brought back to reality by Cynthia shouting, "Marie! You're going to be late!"

Why she was even bothering to tell me, I hadn't a clue. From what I knew, she didn't care about what happened to me. But I took the hint, and hurried up. I quickly applied my black eyeliner and mascara, giving my eyes a smoky appearance.

The contrast between all the black I was wearing, including my hair, my pale white skin, and my dull green eyes was striking. But I only noticed that the first time I put it on, it was regular now, and I thought I looked rather plain and boring anyways.

I dashed to my room, picked up my book bag, and put my hair up in a pony tail before I ran through the living room kitchen as quickly as I could. I passed Cynthia on my way out, but didn't bother saying "Good morning." or "Good-bye." in my haste. I slammed the door on my way out, and cringed at the sound. The brief glimpse I got of her pretty, always-perfect face was sour. I also saw right before the door crashed into it's frame that she was already glaring at me with tired eyes, her corn silk blond hair done up in a bun that told me she had just gotten up out of bed. It brought me back to my senses. Cynthia was going to be angry at me for this later, if she didn't have anything else to scold me about or use as an excuse to beat me.

But this couldn't bother me for to long, since I had about ten minutes to get to the school. I got into my old, rusted Toyota Corolla; thinking that my car probably wouldn't be able to break the speed limit enough to get me to school on time. The highest this car could probably go was eighty, and I never pushed it farther than that, in fear that it would break down. But, to my surprise, as I sped down the highway my car reached a hundred without protesting. And that got me to school on time. My day was going pretty well so far.

But I still had to rush to my first period: english. I scrambled out of the car and ran through the rain to the school building. The rain was sheeting within mere seconds, and I was soaked before I got to the building. That's Salmo weather for you. There can't be a weather condition that isn't harsh or intense.

I barely made the final bell when I got to class. Mr. Jefferson just rolled his eyes. I had done this way too many times for him to care anymore. I sat down in the far back right corner of the room, behind the tall kids. I always sat as far away from other people as I could.

Class dragged, and I was thankful for that. I know it would be annoying to the other students here, but I liked it. The longer I had to stay at school, the longer I got to stay away from Cynthia.

I also liked the classes themselves, though. Well, most of them. Biology, english, and art were my favorite subjects. They were the only ones that caught my interest. I either hated or thought the class was boring if it were any other subject. The one subject I just hated without question was trigonometry… and gym.

I was really good at art, english and biology. But my teachers said my "creativeness" came out in art and english. But, today, english was boring. I had been handed a reading list, and I had already read everything on it. Although I loved reading, I had no books. So I signed out a new book that I hadn't read every day. I was the only student who did this, and I had the librarian awestruck.

We were supposed to be reading Romeo and Juliet, Wuthering Heights, Dracula, Pride and Prejudice… yup, I had read them all. And they were all very good, too. When the only things you enjoyed in life were reading and listening to music, you had a lot of time on your hands.

After english, I had trig.

As soon as the bell rang, I trudged off to trig. I was in a sulky mood even before I had gotten to the door. I just really hated this class. And the teacher, Miss Willow, made it even more unpleasant. She always picked on the kids who didn't have their hand up, or just sucked at the subject. That wasn't a problem for me, because I was excellent in trig. But I still hated the subject. It was too boring, and standard. Although I didn't put my hand up, Miss Willow knew not to bother me. I was the smartest student, and I was also the most unsociable one, too.

I sat in my usual seat in the back, where I sat with no one else.

Just then, a new guy sat down a few seats away from me. I stared at him curiously, wondering how he could even dare to get this close to me. He was a few seats closer than the normal radius people kept from me. He stared right back.

He seemed much older, wiser than he looked. His eyes showed that, and the way his eyes appraised me at the moment was a little weird. It was like he was analyzing me, or something preposterous like that. I was really surprising myself with my observations. But they were all true. And right now, I was most likely ogling him like I could see most of the other immature, flighty girls were in the class. I turned my head back to the front of the class, perplexed and disgusted. I was also reminding myself lightly, because I didn't really need it, that I would and should be staying away from everyone and anyone including the mysterious newcomer.

I gave him one last glance before I looked away from his eyes, which were still staring at me, and turned my attention on the teacher, trying to ignore the fact that he had, and still was –I could see it from behind my black curtain of hair– gazing at me. It was almost impossible to ignore, and I only doubled my attempts at disregarding the fact.

It seemed like the period stretched on for days, yet I knew it was only an hour. All I wanted to do was get out of there, because I wanted to get away from the creepy guy. He'd been shooting glances at me, and it looked as if he obviously thought I couldn't see through my screen of dark hair. But, I did notice it, and it was bugging the hell out of me. All I wanted was peace, and to be left alone; to fade into the background and to never be thought of again. But, what with this new guy looking at me every fifteen seconds, it didn't look like I would be getting my wish. Why did this have to happen now?

Maybe it was just a temporary thing. Hopefully he would get bored and move on after staring at boring old me for too long. With any luck, which I didn't have too often, he would find me uninteresting very soon. I didn't want to feel like a piece of eye-candy for weeks on end. The only comfort I had at the moment was that hope, and I had to repeat it in my head many times just to keep myself calm, and not jump up and scream in the guy's face '_What's your freaking problem?_'. I know most people, or, rather, girls wouldn't be that frustrated about a simple problem like this. Most people would be flattered. But I hated attention, especially when a lot of attention is put on me a lot when Janet and her bunch push me, trip me, and various other things to make me fall and make a moron out of myself. It's their favorite past-time and I don't understand how they never bore themselves. It had to be getting old by now, since they've been doing it for all the two-and-a-half years I've been here with them. But they still laugh, as do the other kids, full volume when I trip and land flat on my face, causing more bruises.

Sighing, I leaned back in my chair, trying to let time flow by me so I could get the hell out of here. This brought another glance my way from the new student, and I huffed loudly this time, causing the teacher in front to cluck his tongue impatiently. I rolled my eyes, and glanced at the clock over the teacher's desk every ten seconds, ready to make my move to run.

Luck was obviously on my side today, because the bell rang after my fifth look at the clock, and I had instantly packed up my books and everything else I needed to cram into my bag. And then I ran to the door, swiftly and nimbly dodging somebody's foot, and was out the door, on my way to the next class. Not one look did I spare to see the new guy's reaction, because all of my attention was focused on getting me out of the classroom without tripping and stumbling along the way. Indeed, I was tremendously lucky today, despite the fact that it seemed I had a stalker.

I made it through the now-crowded hallway to the cafeteria. There was no point in me coming here during lunch time, and I didn't know why I bothered to come. There were other, more productive things I _could_ be doing, but I chose to go to the cafeteria and pick apart a lunch I bought and had no intention of eating. What was my favorite thing to do, and always did, was to buy an apple, then make little moon-crescent marks in it with my finger nails. It was always full of craters when I threw it out. It's a good thing people never asked me why I do it because I would either answer that I didn't know or I had an ADD problem. 'Cause it probably seemed like it to the kids who actually paid attention to me. Janet, my main tormentor, would have surely picked it up because she liked to make fun of me at every opportune moment.

Quickly, I purchased all the things that I would pick apart at today's lunch and went to sit at my regular table. And, when I got there, I resumed my food-picking habit. But today, for a change of my monotonous routine, I watched some of the people at other tables, and tried to identify who each person was. I kept my head down as much as possible, so if anyone who happened to glance by my table, which I think would most likely not happen, would not see me looking.

My attention was immediately drawn to the huge group of tables, all filled right in the middle of the room. The other tables off to the sides are only sparsely filled; the groups that don't involve, or have anything to do with Janet. Yes, the group right in the middle is Janet's group, all filled with Janet and her followers. It seemed like she's totally brain washed over half the school into thinking she's the 'it' girl. She's pretty much like a goddess to the lot of them.

But, come to think of it, she was the standard form of an 'it' girl. Perfectly tanned, skinny figure, bright blue aqua-marine eyes, long shiny blond hair, angular facial features, perfectly arched eyebrows, full pink lips, and her forward and determined, cocky attitude was what made up Janet Menzies. She commanded everything; if Janet told you to do anything, and I mean anything, you would do it without question. And that's exactly what got me into trouble with her on day one.

She told me to do her homework for the whole first week of school, and me with my stubborn attitude, told her no. Now, two and some years later, I'm still paying for it. I don't even think she liked me before that. She shot me glares before that event ever happened, too.

And, speak of the devil; Janet was glowering at me from where she sat, in the midst of her many chatting minions. This was quite normal for her, but there was more venom than usual in her eyes as she scowled at me. This made me wonder idly what she was angry at me for now.

But, all of a sudden, the new guy entered the cafeteria, making everything go silent.

But only for all of ten seconds before Janet was up and walking toward him.

As she walked toward his graceful, yet motionless form, she sneered back at me a few times along the way. What was her problem now? No matter what I did, she seemed to pick it apart until she found something she could hate me for. Sometimes she didn't even have a reason to hate me.

She reached the new guy and her eyes and voice instantly became sweet. I could hear her, even through the loud noises of students. It seemed like she wanted me to hear her; her voice was louder and higher than average.

"Hello, my name is Janet. You're new here, right?" What an obvious question to ask. I only looked at Janet, to see what she would say.

"Hello… I'm Damian Forrester. It's nice to meet you, Janet." From here, it looked like she teetered a little on her feet. My jaw almost dropped. Wow. Janet had never done that before. Her past boyfriends had never been able to do that to her. Wasn't the new kid –Damian– just being polite? This really made me pay attention. I wanted to understand why she had swooned. Could he really have that much of an affect on someone?

Sure, he was good looking. He wore a loose fitting black dress shirt and jeans. His facial features were perfect; angular and sharp. He had pale, pale skin. It was surprisingly paler than mine. Shaggy dark, dark brown locks of hair obscured his eyes that, from this distance, looked black. He wasn't bulky, like a lot of the boys around here. I could see he was muscled, but other than that he was very skinny. Almost like a rail, in a way. His marble-like face was wiped clean of any emotion. He seemed mellow; not at all someone who should or would want to hang around with someone like Janet.

"Would you like to sit with me and my group?" She asked tentatively, yet almost as confidently as she would with any other guy. This was certainly amusing. It was fun to see Janet's attitude wavering against a new boy. I would have to taunt her about that later; I made a mental note to do so. I would probably get beaten black and blue, but it would be worth seeing the embarrassment on her face.

I looked back to Damian's face to see his expression as he answered. He merely shrugged slightly. I could barely make out the, 'Why not?' he muttered. But despite what he had said to Janet, he looked as if he was mentally cursing himself as he walked with her. All I could think as I looked at him was that I hoped he wouldn't turn to the dark side as well.

As they both turned back to walk to Janet's table; Janet throwing a smug smile and a mocking look my way, and Damian his face stoic which seemed to be his normal emotion so far, I went back to unconsciously picking my apple apart again. What a day this had been so far.

It now seemed like Janet was going after Damian; it was so obvious, and besides, who wouldn't?

That was just a generality. Most of the girls he would talk to would probably swoon just as Janet did, when he looked them in the eye as he talked to them.

And Janet seemed to be more annoyed with me than usual. And it was just the beginning of the week. I hadn't even gotten a chance to do anything to her yet.

Peering over at Janet's table once more, I saw Damian sitting right next to Janet, looking just a bit uncomfortable as she started chatting up a storm; most likely talking his ear off. He was surrounded by girls; only a few boys were at the far end of one of the tables with their girlfriends who weren't paying attention to them. All interest was directed upon Damian; either people were trying to talk to him when Janet was taking a breath, or just staring and marveling. It really didn't look like he belonged there, crowded in between a chatty Janet and her best friend, or for a better term, second in command, Chantelle Marks.

If Janet wasn't here, which would be a miracle, Chantelle would definitely be the queen-bee of the school. She was a drone of Janet; almost the same except for she had sandy brown hair, and fair olive-toned skin with deep brown, almond shaped eyes.

The difference between Damian and everyone at the table was striking. He stood out among the fifty or so students crowded around the tables.

Without warning, he shot a glance my way, his eyes gleaming and narrowed slightly, as if he were trying to read my face and figure out what I was thinking. I looked down immediately, not wanting Janet to notice her boyfriend-to-be staring at me, and me returning the stare.

Janet's dating patterns were always the same. She'd meet a guy, date him for a couple weeks, and then dump him. It was just a status quo –she'd most likely never fallen for a guy before. It was as if you had to be with someone, or you weren't cool. And Janet's popularity, if it was possible, only went up after she'd dumped a guy. The longest she's ever been in a relationship that I'd seen was Marcus Andrews, and that was only a month and a half. It's pretty pathetic, if you ask me. Mark moved after that, because after Janet's done with them, she tends to humiliate them somehow. It seems like a punishment for not fulfilling her wishes in a boyfriend or something along the lines of that. Yet, every guy wants to date her. Maybe they just disregard everything besides the fact of how beautiful she is.

At that moment, I really felt bad for Damian. He was doomed to face Janet's wrath, assuming that he would go out with her, which he most likely would besides the pained look on his face at the moment. It probably wouldn't be long until he decided to ask her out. He'd be making the worst mistake he could ever make then.

The bell rang, interrupting my train of thought and signaling that lunch was over. Sighing, I wrenched my chair out, scraping it along the floor lightly as I got up from my table. Grabbing my tray and bag, I made my way to the doors where I threw my uneaten food out and walked quickly through the halls to my next class: art.

It was too bad the day was almost over. I would have nothing to do when I got home, other than finishing my almost-already done homework. I always do some homework while the teacher's talking, so I don't get bored. Maybe being bored is better during the day at school, and that I should be saving it all till night so I have something to preoccupy myself when I get home.

I entered the art classroom, the first one as normal, and headed back to my regular seat in the back of the class. The teacher, a tall, slim, long brown-haired woman in her forties, named Ms. McCall murmured a welcome to me as I took my seat. I nodded, acknowledging her even though I knew she was not looking up from her stack of papers on her desk to see if I would reply.

The only thing I could do while I waited ten minutes or so for the students to enter the room, and for the class to start, was to doodle aimlessly.

Settling into my seat, I pulled out my sketch book and pencil. My hand instantly took action; I just let it fly across the paper, not drawing anything particular design or shape. While I did this, my mind wandered. Usually what ended up on the page was what I was thinking about.

If that boy continued to stare at me… well, I had to come up with a solution, didn't I? A lot of faith was still stocked in the fact that he would eventually lose interest in me, seeing that I would not respond to it -outwardly, that is. But I still needed a backup plan if worse came to worse.

Maybe I could move myself somewhere where he wouldn't find me. I don't think I was that noticeable, but he would be looking for me… There wouldn't be a chance for me to hide then. Should I just go up to him formally, and just tell him to back off? Would that make it worse? It was possible.

In my head, I was thinking this was bit stupid, maybe a little overboard, but I did not particularly like to be stared at –especially for long periods at a time.

Then another, more effective, yet most likely impossible and exasperating idea came to mind. If I could ask Janet to distract him, or later, tell him to stop looking at me, then my problem would be solved. But there was not a shot in hell Janet would do anything for me; although, maybe when it came to Damian…

By the time everyone entered the classroom, I still hadn't figured out what to do. I sighed heavily, thankfully not attracting much attention even though it was the loudest noise in the class, and everyone was now silent and sitting in their seats, waiting for the teacher's instructions.

Maybe he would stop when he became Janet's boyfriend. He wouldn't want to stare at any other girl then, other than Janet. Hopefully that time would come soon, even though I would really hate to see someone like him get crushed by Janet, as many of the other boys have.

Ms. McCall started talking, and I looked down at my sketch. It was a pair of fierce eyes watching me from a dark corner of what seemed to be an alley. My brow furrowed as I tried to understand the meaning of why I had drawn this. I'd never seen this scene before…

"Miss Alexander? Did you hear what I just said?" Ms. McCall's voice was frustrated and annoyed. At the sound of her voice, I looked up from my sketch to her face. She was frowning at me, her lips tight and her toe tapping on the linoleum floor, waiting for an answer. No one so much as looked my way. I supposed they probably weren't listening, either.

"No." My answer was curt and monotonic as usual. Her eyes tightened as I said it, and her face became even angrier.

"Please listen more carefully, then. The next time I call on you, and you don't have an answer, it's straight to the office. Do you understand?" I looked down again, and nodded, wondering how on earth she had plucked up enough courage to glare at me, let alone make a threat. Most teachers knew enough about me to just leave me alone. They were scared of me, I think, and I hadn't a clue why. When I had been in fights before (with Janet at school, of course), although everyone knew, but did nothing about it, I wouldn't fight back. I just couldn't find it in me… But they shouldn't bother me, anyway. I always got top grades, never broke any rules, and always handed my work in on time. I didn't have a single black mark on my record, and they all knew that.

The teacher began to speak yet again, and I didn't heed her warning to listen. My attention drew away from her drawling… to the boy looking at me again. I caught him just as his eyes returned to his table.

This was getting the slightest bit annoying, to put it in light terms. He sat only two tables away from me… sitting next to an agitated-looking Janet. She obviously noticed how he had sneaked a quick look sideways at me.

I looked past him to her, and shot her a serious, pleading look. Her eyes brows furrowed, confused why I was doing this, and I rolled my eyes at her idiocy. I mouthed 'talk to him' to her, and had to quickly, at that matter, because it couldn't be noticed by Damian. She quickly understood and poked him, claiming his attention.

Sighing quietly in relief, my shoulders relaxed the slightest bit. It was sort of a relief that no one was watching me anymore –especially since I'd never been used to being watched, and it definitely bothered me a bit. That had been easier than I had thought. Now all she had to do was keep it up, and I was golden for the rest of the day. Maybe this feeling would last if she would keep doing this favor for me. But that was a vain hope. The only thing I could hope for, but didn't really want, was for him to ask her out. Then all my little problems would be dealt with.

My little maneuver worked, and although it was good for me, I saw it wasn't very good for him.

Janet would not stop talking, even though the teacher must have threatened her she was going to the office if she did not stop talking at least fifteen times. It was funny, and painful to watch, if I put myself in his shoes, anyway. The only thing that kept me from laughing out loud was the expression on his face.

He looked extremely agitated, but it obviously didn't bother Janet much. She just kept jabbering on while he sat there, putting his head in one of his hands and closed his eyes tightly. It looked as if he were trying to calm himself down enough so that he wouldn't stop her talking by strangling her. That would be the world's funniest sight to me. It was a shame he never did it, though.

Class ended, and the new guy was immediately out of his seat. He murmured a quick "Good-bye." to Janet before he rushed out of the room.

I had a hard time trying to stop myself snickering, but it's a good thing I restrained myself because Janet would have stormed over to me and strangled me herself.

Biology was next. I hoped we had something interesting, and hopefully challenging today. I felt like I needed a challenge, besides the people-related challenges I had almost everyday.

I entered the classroom as regularly as ever, took my place beside my almost terrified looking partner Mitchell Chanson, and stared at the front of the classroom mindlessly until the teacher arrived. But the one moment the teacher turned her back to get some supplies from the backroom; it seemed Janet had different partner arrangement ideas.

Janet moved from her lab table, to mine, pushing my frightened little partner out of the way in the process. Janet planted herself right beside me, and stared viciously at Mitchell, who looked lost standing out in the middle of the aisle. He backed away from us, shrugging pathetically and headed over to be partners with Janet's old partner, Conner Andrews. He seemed finally at ease when he had gotten away from me- and Janet.

Janet eyed me darkly from where she stood beside me. I ignored her, and started to pick up the utensils Ms. Waters had given us. We were into the dissecting unit –frogs–, and it really was quite interesting despite how gross it was. Luckily I usually had a strong stomach, unlike some unfortunate girls here. I'd only gotten sick once, and the more I studied it the more immune to it I was. This lab would be fairly simple. Picking up the forceps, and scalpel, I almost began before I saw Janet glaring at me from the corner of her eyes. This was normal, but I knew she was going to say something since she'd gone out of her way to come over here. I sighed.

"What do you want, Janet?" My voice was cold, naturally. But she was in one of her own dark moods, and she didn't seem to be affected by the ever present hostility in my voice.

"You know what." She told me pointedly. I threw a quizzical look her way, and raised one eyebrow. She huffed.

"I've seen the way you've been looking at him." She really began to look furious then. I was really lost now.

"What? Who are you talking about?" My tone was now laced with irritation. She continued to glare.

"You know who I mean, don't pretend to be oblivious." I snickered at her.

"Wow, Janet, that's such a big word for you. 'Oblivious'; how long did it take you to look that one up?" It seemed like she was on the brink of pouncing on me, and ripping me to shreds right then.

"I'm not as stupid as you take me to be, Marie, so cut it out." I pretended to look shocked.

"You know my name," I said in mock amazement. She closed her eyes tightly, and I could tell she was trying to calm herself down. I started snickering again. Her eyes opened, and then narrowed on me.

"You've been distracting me. Back to the subject," She said acidly. I merely nodded, still laughing. She sighed angrily, obviously frustrated by me. Frustrated was probably an understatement. I'd never seen Janet as red-faced as she was then, but I felt no remorse. After all, this was the girl who tormented me day after day with her obnoxious comments and her annoying followers. But right now she didn't have anyone to defend her, so I could say anything I wanted.

"I'm talking about Damian," My laughing stopped as she said his name, and my eyes narrowed. She smiled in response.

"What about him?" My voice had adopted a new, venomous tone. That boy had been irritating me all day today. He'd been staring at me for no apparent reason from the moment he got here, and it was _really _irritating me.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that you should be staying away from him." I smiled sarcastically at that.

"Oh really? Is he you're latest prey?" I laughed with no humour. Her eyes narrowed, but she smiled slightly.

"Well, I guess you could put it that way. Stay away from him. Got it?" I laughed once more and nodded. But somewhere deep inside I wished I hadn't agreed. Damian didn't look like he would ever belong to anyone, let alone Janet. Especially Janet. They were like polar opposites from what I'd seen so far.

"Don't worry, Janet. That won't be a problem. And trust me when I say that." She laughed bitterly; she still didn't trust me when I said that. Oh well. If I had ever decided to compete against her, anyway, there would be no competition. I was very, _very_ plain next to Janet. As I've said before, she was the 'it' girl that everyone wanted. Well, maybe not Damian, but I wasn't sure yet. It certainly didn't seem like it.

"Fine. Agreed. Now let's get on with this stupid lab, we're not going to be able to get done on time." Her voice was still sour, and with a resigned sigh, I began to work with my enemy to get the lab done before class ended.


	2. Chapter 2: Trouble

**Sorry, sorry I know it's been awhile. I'm not gonna give you excuses, just an apology. Sorry, I promise that chp 3 will be up quicker than this one. And I really hope you guys enjoy this version better than the last. If you can remember the last version, tell me if you think this is better or worse. That would be very much appreciated, and thank-you for being patient. :) Enjoy! **

**-darkvampire**

Chp 2: Trouble

The night that proceeded my first annoying day with the new kid was mostly uneventful this time. It turns out Cynthia had to go into town for awhile, and thus I was not punished for being rude in the morning.

The week didn't go by as well as I had hoped. There were a few things why that was.

First, I was starting to have really strange and frightening dreams. I would always end up waking up early in the mornings –always around five or six. The only good thing that came out of that was that I didn't have to rush to school in the mornings. But I would have rather rushed than have those dreams.

I really didn't know how to describe them. I was in some alley way somewhere –and there was someone with me. He was always shrouded, so I couldn't quite make out who it was.

There was always a sense of danger, and I felt on edge. But more than that, I was terrified of something that I was facing out in the darkness. And then glowing, horrifying eyes appeared in the unlit part of the alley. And I let out a snarl.

That was always what I figured ripped out low from my throat. And it scared me to death, though I wouldn't admit that to myself. I really didn't know what to make of the nightmares.

I'd never had them before, even when… I didn't want to think of it. I didn't want to add misery on top of the terror I was dealing with.

And then there was the fact that the new kid –Damian- seemed to be all together ignoring Janet. This was not a good thing for my situation. Janet's anger was bound to be boiling up over the week as he continued to stare at me, and barely paid any attention to Janet. And even though I kept encouraging her o distract him, which he reacted to rarely, she was confused about my actions but still murderously angry at the same time that I was getting more attention from him than she was. I expected she would act today, or sometime soon, to hurt me in one way or another. Be it physically or mentally, I was expecting it.

So after I had woken up early, lunging straight up out of bed gasping, I started to get ready and was preparing and thinking of ways that Janet might try to torture me today.

Cynthia was gone again this morning, so I had nothing to worry about as I fled from the house. Since I had plenty of time to go to school, I thought I might take a walk through the forest to my favourite spot –an ancient, twisted oak tree. It was perfectly climbable, and there were a lot of little nooks in the tree that I could grab on to if it turned out fate were that I was to fall.

I maneuver through the trees swiftly and expertly, having been here many times before.

And soon I was at my crooked and aged, yet still beautiful tree. The canopy of leaves was full, green, and lively as a slight breeze blew through them.

I drew in a deep breath and was immediately refreshed. This place did wonders to my mood and state of mind.

I ran the rest of the way up to the grand tree and climbed my way up it easily enough. As soon as I was up high enough, I eased myself into a crevice and relaxed.

I felt really tired from lack of sleep. The most likely thing I knew that would probably happen today was that I would fall asleep in class. If that happened, I really didn't know if I would get in trouble or not. It depended what class it happened in.

My head lolled to the side and rested against the trunk. I was so tired I really care about how rough and hard it was. I just drifted…

_It was pitch black everywhere, all but where I was standing under a flickering lamp in the middle of an alleyway. There was somebody in front of me, someone who seemed vaguely familiar. _

_The air was tense with some kind of anticipation. The man in front of me was tensed as I was… readying for something. Then we heard movement in the shadows. _

_He restrained a growl –I could hear because I was close, tight to his back as I looked into the black. But I barely noticed- I was waiting for something to happen, something to appear out of no where. _

_And then we saw the eyes. The glowing, orange-like amber eyes, piercing and menacing, locked on our figures. I let out a snarl, challenging the beasts to come out of the darkness and fight. _

"_No," The man murmured in an irresistible, familiar, and soft voice. Although I was compelled to listen to that voice, to that person who spoke, my instincts took over and I shot out from behind him as a monster slithered out from the darkness. _

_It had coal-black fur, was on all fours, and baring dagger-like teeth almost the size of kitchen knives. Its ears were pulled back flat against its head and it was in a crouch, ready to attack. It appeared to be a giant wolf. _

_It growled, its eyes only focused on me now. I slipped down into a stooped down also, ready to spring. _

"_Marie, no!" That harmonic voice called behind me, now in a frustrated, worried way. I felt the man grab a hold on my arm, but I quickly and agilely shook it off. _

_The wolf sprang. _

I awoke with a start, screaming and gasping. Momentarily forgetting where I was, I lost my hold on the tree and therefore, my balance.

I fell out of the tree, probably looking like I was trying to fly with my arms and hands waving up and down at my sides.

My body hit the ground pretty hard all at the same time. And I couldn't move for a minute until I gathered my thoughts together.

Well, apparently I had fallen asleep while I was in the tree. And I had had the nightmare again, except this time there was more to it. And that was why I had woken up and fallen out of the tree. Now everything made sense.

Slowly, not rushing anything, I tested to see what I could move. I flexed my fingers in and out, moved my arms, my toes, and then finally my legs…

Suddenly I heard laughing quietly from someone in the trees. It startled me so much that I shot up off the ground without continuing to check that everything was fine. Apparently it was because I was up, and only a little sore. Probably the only thing that fall had done to me was make more bruises and irritate the ones I already had.

I did a three sixty, whirling around in a circle to see which tree and or bush the noise had come from. But I saw no one.

"Who's there?" I demanded, scanning the brush for any source of life.

The only sounds I heard was the whisper of the wind blowing through the trees and someone 'shushing' someone else's uncontrolled snickering. Apparently there were _two_ people watching me. My eyes widened. And that's when I decided to run.

I sprinted out of the forest, running at pretty much my top speed.

Who would be out in the forest, watching me sleep in a tree? Had they been there before I came? Had I not noticed them when I first entered, and had they been watching me since then? Had there been _more_ than two?

All these questions swirled around in my head making me almost dizzy with anxiety as I finally got to the house. I decided even if it was too early to go to school, I would go anyway. The need to be out of this vicinity was too great to care about much more.

Before I darted out the door with my bag, I glanced at the clock and stopped dead when I saw the time. It was almost lunch period at school.

I stared at the clock, stunned for only a few seconds longer before I couldn't care less and ran outside. Oh well. At least I probably wouldn't fall asleep in class today.

Within the next few seconds, I was in my car and pushing the car as fast as it would go down the highway towards school.

I think I might have been in a state of shock. My mind felt a little numb and I couldn't bring myself to ask who or what had been watching me. All I concentrated on was getting to school before the lunch period was over and not running into a ditch.

I made it there, and the period was barely half over. Sighing in relief, I entered the building and rushed to the cafeteria. I really didn't know why this was the first place I wanted to go –I could've just as easily hung out at the picnic tables outside till classes started again. But I just felt… compelled to go to the cafeteria for some reason. Even if it would probably get me into trouble; Janet was most likely awaiting my company.

As soon as I entered I noticed something different. And it was that Janet was sitting without Damian by her side, and she was absolutely fuming.

Frowning, I scanned the room for him. But he was no where to be seen. I gave up quickly, secretly pleased that he was not here to stare at me, and yet disappointed because without him here there was no one to distract Janet. And I was bound to face her wrath very soon, I could just foresee it.

I crossed the room to my regular table, not bothering to buy food today. Which was probably a good thing, because I saw Janet getting up from her table to meet me at mine.

I stopped as we made it to my table at the same time. She glared coldly at me while I just looked at her blankly. She didn't speak for a few minutes, and it seemed like the whole cafeteria had gone silent to hear what Janet had to say.

"Where's Damian?"

I looked at her incredulously.

"How should I know?" I snapped back.

"Don't mess with me. There is something going on between you and him; it's so obvious."

"I wouldn't dream of messing with you, Janet." My voice was too sugary sweet to be genuine. Janet's glower seemed to intensify.

It looked like she was just about ready to hit me; her muscles tensed and they started to shake. But luckily I was saved; not by the bell, but by the entrance of Damian which was good enough.

He walked quickly in through the school yard entrance, looking around seemingly frantically. Everyone was staring at him, and he didn't seem to notice. As soon as he had laid his eyes on me it looked like he relaxed. But Janet didn't. She let out an angry half-scream under her breath and backed away from me, looking in between me and Damian.

"Watch your back, Marie." I covered my mouth with my hand and widened my eyes mockingly. Her eyes narrowed before she retreated back to her minions.

Just before I sat down, she gestured Damian to come to her. He hesitated for a moment, still looking at me. I frowned as I saw peculiar emotions in his eyes… guilt? And relief?

He shrugged slightly, looking away from me to Janet and walked towards her. I sat at my table and watched them for the rest of the period.

I still couldn't wrap my mind around it. Why was he staring at me? That was the question that always haunted my mind. That and trying to figure out what my strange dreams meant.

As soon as the bell rang, I was out of the cafeteria faster than anyone could get out of their seat.

Except maybe for Damian; a minute or so after I was gone, he was right behind me. I didn't feel like exploding on anyone today, but mainly him, so I sped the pace up to outrun him.

But he kept up with me as if it were nothing. It didn't even look like it was an effort to him, even though I was power walking; almost close to a jog.

"Hello." He said quite clearly in a silky smooth voice. The sound of his voice almost stopped me dead. My steps faltered slightly, and he had to slow down again to keep up with me. I didn't look at his face for a reaction. My mind was too shocked and numb to think.

The sound of his voice was exactly like the man's voice in my dream.

The moment that registered in my mind, I almost started running.

"Hello." He tried again. We were still walking toward our next class –art. He always sat almost beside me every time, and I'd been getting used to it so much that I was starting to really not care all that much.

When I didn't answer him, he sighed and gave in. He knew I was not going to talk without provocation.

"Hello, my name is Damian Forrester," I rolled my eyes at the obvious knowledge. In the side view of his face, I saw that it confused him. His perfect, marble-like brow furrowed in confusion. But he continued nevertheless.

"And you must be Marie, right?" I almost stopped again at the shock of what he knew. But he must have heard my name in class before, when attendance was being taken or when I was rarely called on.

"What do you want, Damian?" I sighed. It was taking a lot out of me to act like none of this was bothering me. But he laughed.

"Do I have to have a reason to talk to you?" I gritted my teeth together, and tried to not start screaming at him. This was not going to help my situation with Janet at all. If she saw me talking to Damian right now, I'd most likely be tracked down after school and be beaten to death by her and her loyal servants.

"No, you don't need a reason. But I'd rather not be seen with you, so I won't be murdered tonight, all right?" He flinched for some reason unknown to me, and then looked puzzled. But it took him only seconds to realize what my words meant.

"Oh." He stated. The word was short and hard. His face smoothed out into a blank slate, showing no emotion. But his brilliant green eyes blazed with something… it looked like anger. Anger over what, though?

I couldn't help but adding this to the pile of things I was already thinking about as we headed, now in silence, to the art room. That seemed like the last of the conversation. Which was a good thing on my part, but I really didn't understand the feeling he gave off after our little chat was over. I wanted to ask him why, to understand the feeling in his eyes. I realized this with shock and immediate disgust with myself. What was I thinking…?

I entered the classroom before Damian could, and took my seat at the black desktop I'd been accustomed to for a few years now. He sat two desks away, at least one closer to me than usual. I tried to not let that bother me as the teacher began talking, telling us our next assignment.

Janet slipped in a few minutes later surprisingly late. She was never usually late.

The teacher gave Janet a warning, which Janet immediately disregarded as she made a beeline to Damian.

Since I was paying closer attention to Janet than normal, I noticed the snide look she gave me as she plopped down into her seat. There was something different in the look though; she always gave me those looks. But this one was different somehow… she seemed more smug than normal too…

Janet only gave Damian a quick 'hello' and nothing else. This only added to her weird behaviour. And though it was a normal thing for Damian to respond with a polite hello, he said nothing. He didn't even acknowledge her. The weirdest part of that was she didn't even seem to care. What was going on?

I pondered this over class, not caring enough to listen to the teacher or do anything she said at the time. I would draw whatever I wanted to later. Right now, all I wanted to do was think.

Class ended soon enough, with time flying by too quickly, and I was up and out of my seat, contemplating skipping my next class even though I'd missed most of the day.

But I decided not to –I didn't want to risk a phone call home if someone already hadn't phoned earlier. Luck was with me, because no one followed me, and I only had Janet with me next class. I knew that was typical, but I still felt fortunate that Damian wouldn't talk or stare at me for the rest of the day.

I felt even luckier when Janet didn't seem to bother me, or even notice my existence in biology.

And as soon as biology was over, I didn't want to ruin the moment; I hurried to my car, avoiding people as much as was possible.

"Hey, Marie! Wait up." A cruel, icy voice commanded. I pretended I didn't hear and sped up more.

I heard footsteps quickening behind me; and I knew I was too late. Someone grabbed my shoulder from behind, and spun me around. The movement was so quick it made me dizzy.

The first thing I saw when my vision wasn't doubled anymore was Janet's wild facial expressions. Her eyes were wide, and she smirked an evil grin at me. All of a sudden, we were surrounded. I didn't look to see who the people were; there was no need. I already knew who they were –Janet's accomplices.

"Let's go, Marie." Janet's voice was honey-smooth. She kept a hold of my shoulder tightly as she guided me around from the front of the school to the back. I guess she didn't want witnesses –even if it didn't matter. No one would come to my rescue even if someone did see it happening.

The crowd of people kept in a circle around me and Janet as we walked so I couldn't escape. They knew I was a fast runner, and they also knew that I was clumsy at the best of times. But they weren't taking any chances now. Janet must've wanted to deal with something she wanted to straighten out right away.

I didn't bother screaming or doing anything whatsoever to attract attention to myself. That also wouldn't do any good. The other students would be frightened at the very prospect of interfering with Janet's business. There was no hope for me. I wondered how hard she would be on me; how badly I would come out hurt –or what I had even done in the first place. She'd never done this type of thing before.

We were the farthest distance possible away from the parking lot at the back of the school before Janet stopped.

Janet pushed me roughly from beside her to in front of her, and turned me to face her. Now Janet and I were standing face to face, not a ruler's length away from each other in the middle of the circle. Her face was a serene mask of hatred, excitement, and fury. I kept my poker face on, not giving her anything.

"You know why you're here. No one goes after someone I'm going after. Right, everyone?" There was a chorus of approving murmurs from everyone who stood around us. I paid them no attention. My arms were crossed lightly across my chest, and I looked only at Janet's scowling face. They were not going to get a single shred of enjoyment out of this.

"This is just a punishment, and a last warning, about staying away from Damian. Whatever is going on between you two is going to end right here and now. If you try to resist, we will only make it harder for you. Trust me, Marie; if I want to I can make your life hell for a very long time."

I almost murmured under my breath, _you already _have_ made my life hell._ But I'd already promised myself I wouldn't give her anything. I was going to suck it up, and take this without any emotion or feeling whatsoever. _Just let yourself go…_

I felt someone strong come up behind me and pin my arms behind my back. I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut, letting my head droop slightly. _You can take this…_

The first punch fell upon my face. And as I promised myself, I didn't give in to the pain. Not one moan, not one cry of agony escaped me. I had my eyes closed most of the time, but from what I saw, not just Janet was beating me. People from around the circle came up and took turns.

Some of them really looked like they were enjoying themselves –Chantelle, for instance. She had a strong dislike of me just as Janet did; she basically loved anything Janet loved, and hated everyone and everything Janet hated. So she was having just as much fun as Janet was.

The last punch must have knocked me out cold, because by the time awareness came back to me, the moon was up and it was pitch black in the field I was in. Either that or I had been too bruised to move and had just laid on the muddy ground the whole time, thinking about nothing.

This was probably a good time to get my butt off the ground and sneak inside so I could avoid questions, and possibly another beating from Cynthia.

I was sprawled out on the ground like I been when I fell out of the tree. And, just as before, I moved each body part before attempting to stand. It seemed every inch of my body ached. It protested my movements with shooting, splintering pains. I couldn't help it; I moaned quietly, since I couldn't take deep breaths, to calm myself, without pain present.

But I eventually made it off the ground, only to hobble all the way to the parking lot where my car was still thankfully parked. I didn't know what I would do if it had gotten towed away. I wouldn't be able to walk home; I'd probably die half way there, or get eaten by a bear. Literally. The latter was more probable.

I drove home quickly, wanting to get there as soon as possible, which was not a norm for me. The one thing I really wanted to do right now was collapse on my bed and fall asleep for the entire weekend.

But I slowed as I got close to my driveway –I did not, without a doubt, want to wake Cynthia up. That would be a death sentence.

With a sigh, I thought it would probably be best if I parked my car on the side of the road beside my driveway. That wouldn't make as much noise. If I wasn't all sore from being gang beat I would have turned off the car and pushed it into the driveway myself. But if I hadn't been beaten up I wouldn't be in this predicament, would I? With another sigh, I pulled over and turned the car off. I rested my head on the steering wheel for a moment; mentally preparing myself. Now it was time to sneak into the house.

In no time at all, I was out of the car, up the driveway, and half-standing, half-crouching at the side of the house, trying to figure out the best entry point. I wasn't prepared for this because I'd never needed to get into the house without being seen like this before. The best possible way was probably to scramble in through my window. It would be a bit of a challenge to get in through my window without making some noise, though. The window was just a little too high up off the ground for me to be able to climb in with no difficulty.

First I grabbed the ledge of the window to hoist myself up. Then I balanced myself on one of the wooden siding boards to get up higher. Stretching like this was almost too painful. It felt like an electric current was traveling up and down my body over and over again. I grunted before extending my arm up more, and climbing higher. The most difficult part was getting the window open when I finally reached it. I had to balance myself on the skinny siding while trying to push my window open at the same time.

Ten good pushes and twenty almost-falls later I had the window open and was clambering through as quickly as was possible. I turned to close it when I heard quiet chuckling. I thought my heart stopped beating; I froze solid as the person began to speak.

"He he. Good job Marie; you were as silent as ever. I don't think I could've done a better job." Cynthia sarcastically congratulated me somewhere in the darkness. I thawed, and whirled around just in time to see Cynthia flick on the light switch in the hallway slash living room outside my room where she was standing. She gave me a triumphant smirk as I looked away from her.

"So where have you been? I got a call after school that your car was still parked in the school lot. And then the secretary just so happened to mention that you missed all of your classes this morning. What have you been doing?" In the last question, the words were pronounced carefully and separately in a demanding tone. Her tone made me snap finally. Well, sort of anyway. I was just not going to stand here and take her crap right now. I would any other time, though I don't like to, just _not_ now.

"Mother, I do not have the patience to deal with this right now. We will talk about it later." Cynthia glared at me incredulously in the darkness of my room until she stepped in and switched on the light. She did a sort of half-gasp in surprise as she noted my bruises –well that's probably what took her by surprise anyway. I hadn't checked yet to see the damage that was done to me. I glared at her defiantly, but mostly impatiently. I wanted to go to bed, and the pain to stop with it.

"I said goodnight, mother." I pushed her roughly back out of the room and quickly locked the door. I didn't even hear Cynthia put up a fight; all I heard was her quiet, retreating footsteps.

I let out a sigh of a relief and closed my eyes. I was safe for tonight. And I didn't want to think about tomorrow.

Forgetting about turning off the light, I flopped down on the bed, not caring about the sudden, overwhelming pain that it caused me. It knocked me out, and I was soon off in a painless black void.


	3. Chapter 3: More New Arrivals

**Hey! Sorry once more. I think this chapter is more interesting than the others, and it _is_ longer than even the first chapter. So I hope it has been worth the wait :) Also, can you guys please tell me if you want me to put a preface in? I have it already written, but I dont know if I should put it in... tell me what you want, then Ill see if I can put it in somehow :P :) Okay, enough of my jabbering... enjoy! **

**-darkvampire**

Chp 3: More New Arrivals

My eyes started to crack open just as the morning sun began to filter in through my window. And at that moment, I realized how stiff, how _sore_ I was. Ugh. This wouldn't be one of my better days. It seemed that something prevented me to be free of bruises for any length of time.

It was Monday, I realized. I'd woken up Saturday worse than I was today, which was a good thing. I was over most of the intense pains now. I would only _really _start hurting if I attempted any sudden movements… or any movements in the wrong direction. Stretching hurt the worst, so I avoided that, obviously. Even though I felt compelled to do it, since I was so stiff.

Cynthia and I did end up having a talk. I was only left with a warning, or more like a threat, and nothing else… which was also a good thing. Maybe she actually took pity on me for just this once. I mean, I had been beat pretty much half to death, and I don't think Cynthia really wanted to finish me off. So, when I did something 'bad' later, when I was healed, she would just give me back the bruises. That was a fairly simple routine for her.

As I'd predicted the night of my attack, I did have some severe bruises. Nothing worse than I'd had before, but still. They were almost faded enough to be completely covered by make-up, but not quite yet. That would take probably another week. I didn't know why I bothered to conceal them. No one noticed me anyway, let alone the ink splotches that covered almost my entire body. The worst regions would have to be my whole torso.

I sighed, and let out a sharp breath at the pain that that caused. It was time to get up, and face the world. The only way I would survive today is if I looked like I had absolutely nothing to do with Damian. I couldn't talk to him, walk by him, even glance at him, or even possibly glare at him when he stared at me. It seemed hopeless that he would break that habit anytime soon. But, that _had_ been only his first week at Salmo Secondary School, so his second week could turn out different. Who knew? I would only pray that it would turn out in favour of me.

I got up carefully, trying to mind my sensitive areas but not succeeding very well. Showering was less enjoyable as before. The hot water was relaxing, true enough, but that didn't matter when every movement pained you. After I was done with my morning preparations, I still had about an hour to kill. That hour had been normally spent at my tree every morning that I'd start to wake up at six or five. After that incident at the little clearing, there was definitely no question of my going back.

Even though I didn't have a nightmare today, surprisingly enough, my body had gotten used to it.

True, I was thankful that I didn't have a nightmare, but I also wondered why I didn't. Maybe the pain kept me sleeping dreamless like a baby like it did that first night, but I don't know. There really was no real explanation, I suppose.

I don't' know when it would be wise to return back to my special spot… or if it was even wise to ever go back again. I didn't really want to chance going back too soon, so I guess my extra time would be spent on pondering these things. I had nothing else to do… my homework was done; finished long ago, the house was spotless; I'd also done my chores awhile ago… So there was absolutely nothing to do except think about how to avoid Damian and other various things till I thought it was an appropriate enough time to drive to school.

And that time came soon enough, sadly and happily. I was not too thrilled about going to school today, and trying to avoid a person just for my own life's sake. But I was happy that I didn't have to sit around at the kitchen table, doing absolutely nothing, any longer. Hours spent like that were sometimes good, but most of the time they were agonizing.

I jumped into my car, or rather, edged gently into the seat and took off at a comfortable speed down the road. I had plenty of time to get there, and then some. I kept reminding myself the whole way there that the only thing I had to do was avoid anything to have to do with Damian. My resistant side had died out awhile ago, or else I would have given more trouble than I had. My resistant side wouldn't have backed down as easily as I did now. But, through many beatings I guess, my spirit had broken and I was just compliant with everything. So, if Janet told me to do something like this, though I didn't like the fact very much that I was going along with her commands, I would do it.

I made it to the school parking lot in do time, and parked, wincing as I got out.

Janet got out of her new, flashier car, a Mazda 3 I think it was, and sneered at me. I looked down, not able to be angry. I was only ashamed that I couldn't take care of myself. This would probably continue until the end of high school, and I hoped not any longer. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

That's when I heard the gasp from Janet's direction. My eyes instantly shot up to her face, her aghast, horrified face.

My eyes traveled to the spot where her eyes were glued, and I almost let out a gasp also. I tried not to let any emotion show on my face as I looked at Damian, and the goddess-of-a-woman who clung to his arm.

She had almost the same shade of hair as Damian, except lighter, and it waved gently to the middle of her back. She was statuesque, with perfect angular features, and chalky-white skin, also like Damian. And, she looked more beautiful than any girl had a right to be.

This girl seemed to be more worthy than any girl here of Damian. They looked like they _belonged_ together.

She had a dainty smile on her pale lips, while Damian had more or less of a grimace on his face. But I'm sure no one else could tell. Everyone was staring at the new girl. Even Janet, who I was sure was just getting over her shock and becoming jealous, was still after Damian. She wasn't even looking at him. It appeared, only _I_ was. I had to get my eyes off him before Janet noticed.

I continued with my routine, the first one snapped out of their trance, grabbing my bag out of the backseat and locking up. I wouldn't let this bother me… it was none my business anyway. Why was it bothering me? I couldn't find a reason. The only thing I knew was there was an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. I tried to dislodge the feeling as I walked towards the school.

Everyone had started moving again, the almost hypnotic spell broken. The new girl and Damian were already inside, and out of everyone's view. The people inside were the next people to be astonished by the two beauties together, I suspected.

I was at the door when I noticed Janet looking as if she were about to cry in between all of her 'friends'. They were all comforting her as tears dewed in her eyes. I couldn't bring myself to laugh as I might have before. I was also in too gloomy a mood, and if sighing hurt me I didn't want to think about what laughing would do to me. Suppressing and shudder, I opened the door and entered the school. Now it was time to only focus on work. That would help me get by the day faster. And then I was off to english.

But as hard as I tried, I couldn't bring myself to pay attention. My mind wandered… and I was thankful that the teachers were too scared of me, or either didn't care enough, to call on me for an answer to a question I would not know. I didn't even know what we were talking about today, or what assignment we would be doing. I was too engrossed in my thoughts.

Because of that, it seemed like only seconds later when everyone was getting out of their seats, leaving me behind to scramble and gather up everything to run.

And then I realized this was my first class with Damian, and that left me to worry. Would the new girl, who was obviously with Damian, be put into all his classes? Or, at least, just some of them? I didn't particularly want to be in the classes that girl was in. Unlike most people, that girl gave me a weird feeling…

This time, I was one of the last people to enter the classroom. And luck was apparently with me, because Damian was alone; the new girl was not with him.

But he sat one desk closer, so only one desk separated us. I mentally groaned and searched the room for a different spot. The front of the room was mostly empty; it seemed everyone had moved back to get closer to Damian. Everyone was staring at him as if he were the lord. I rolled my eyes and walked to a desk at a desk in the front left, farthest from the door and the crowded people in the back. I heard an angered sigh come from the back of the room, and I noticed everyone's head turn in Damian's direction. I turned my eyes back to the teacher immediately, not bothering to ask myself why Damian was upset. _Anything that had to do with him was not my business… anything that had to do with him was not my business…_

Class didn't pass as quickly as english had –as quickly as I wanted it to pass. This was mainly because every passing second, I wished it would end. But, since I was attentive o the time this time, I was the first one out of their seat, already having packed up all my stuff a few minutes earlier. I pretty much sprinted out the door.

In between my silent hopes that the torture would end, I had also been contemplating skipping lunch. It really couldn't hurt. I would just go out onto the school yard picnic tables or something. Or find a tree around the property to hang out in. I would only be saving myself experiencing some unwanted looks and emotions emanating from certain people. I walked at a steady pace through the hall, squirming and squeezing my way through the crowd of oncoming people on their way to the cafeteria. I'd just pushed past the last person and broken free from the throng of people when I heard my name being called.

"Marie! Wait." It was Damian; I recognized that silky smooth voice. But I ignored it. I kept my course, not turning or giving him any reactions that would make him believe I'd heard him.

The only sounds I heard then were the retreating footsteps of the horde of students, and a frustrated sigh. I only realized Damian was behind me when he grabbed my shoulder to stop me. I flinched back violently, letting out a little squeak. That had _really_ hurt. Either he had gripped too hard, or I had a bruise there that was worse than I had thought. It was probably the last option –Damian didn't look _that_ strong.

I felt us both freeze at the same time. I was still facing the doorway, looking at it desperately now, only a few meters away. But I probably wouldn't be able to escape him now. He turned me half-way around. I was still looking down. I really didn't want him to see my bruises for some reason. If he asked me for an explanation, which I was hoping he wouldn't, I don't know what I would say.

"Marie?" He raised a hand, and brought it up to my chin. I was frozen in shock; I couldn't move a muscle, although I felt my heart rate speed up ten fold. He lifted my face up so he could look at me properly.

But then his eyes widened in surprise, and his hand dropped slightly, so he wasn't touching me anymore. It almost felt like I was going to cry, but then I became like a rock. All emotion disappeared for a moment and I looked at him coldly.

"What happened?" He was still staring at my face in disbelief. It was a good thing I was wearing a sweater and jeans; he would be in even more astonished if he saw the rest of my worse bruises.

Suddenly I heard the squeak of sneakers as someone ran down the hallway.

"Damian! I'm glad I found you. I wanted to talk to you about…"

Janet stopped in mid sentence, probably because she saw me, with Damian's hand still hanging in the air, half-way towards my face. My eyes hardened as I laid eyes on her, and I knew then that Damian knew what had happened to me, because he let out an angry noise under his breath. He could probably tell from the way I looked at her; a colder, harsher stare then usual.

Janet's eyes also narrowed as she glared furiously at me. Her fists tightened, and it looked like she started vibrating with anger. Her face turned to almost a cherry colour, and she looked like one of those cartoons that should start fuming from the ears anytime soon. I'd never seen her more livid.

"Marie. What did I tell you before?" Her words were clipped short and seethed acidly.

I gave her no response. I just stared at her blankly as she walked towards us, shortening the distance quickly.

I stepped away from Damian, though his eyes told me desperately to stay. I met Janet, and she and I were probably only a few metres away from him. I kept my poker face on again. I could tell that only made her angrier.

"I thought I made my point clear enough before. Do I need to make it clearer?" Her words were whispered in the same tone as before, and I knew she only meant for me to hear them. But I think Damian might've heard, because I heard him grind his teeth behind us. Why was he getting so upset over this? This was my problem not his. He didn't need to be concerned.

When I didn't answer, Janet slapped me hard across my cheek. But I didn't recoil. I kept my ground; my face now only turned to the side and set into a pained grimace, and my eyes squeezed shut. I grinded my teeth together, trying as hard as I could to not to make an indignant sound.

This time I didn't hear a thing from Janet or Damian. It seemed like everything had frozen again.

"Get out of here, Marie. I don't want to see you around him again." She kept whispering, oblivious to the fact that Damian could hear everything. I still remained motionless and said nothing. Janet finally snapped then.

"I said get out of here! If I need to make my point again, it will only be worse, and you know that. So why won't you just give up?"

Janet pushed me back when I wouldn't move. The first time it was almost lightly, but when I didn't budge she went at it harder. The third time she pushed me, she managed only to move me a few centimetres. That's when she let out a muffled scream and shoved the fourth and final time. I was falling to the ground.

But suddenly I stopped. There was no impact of my body hitting the floor. With my eyes closed, it seemed as if I were floating in mid-air.

Forcing my eyes open, I realized everything all at once. Janet was staring at me with astonishment and disgust. And as I looked up to see what held me up, I realized that Damian had caught me. He had his arm wrapped around my back, and he supported all my weight as if I weighed nothing. And his eyes were not the dazzling green I had come to know. They were a flat black. He stared at her blankly, yet somehow his stare was still terrifying. It was obviously like that for Janet, anyway. As soon as she saw his eyes, and the way they gazed at her, her own eyes widened and she started to back away.

"Umm… uh, umm…" She muttered, more dumbfounded than I was at the moment. He continued staring at her, and she kept backing away.

"Wait," He commanded. She stopped immediately, but I could tell she didn't want to willingly. She fidgeted, and looked extremely agitated as she stood there, waiting for him to speak. I couldn't feel remorseful though. I still couldn't feel anything. Everything passed in a blur now –almost too quick for me to take in.

"Don't ever mess with Marie or me again. I've never had an interest in you, and it's a good time for you to realize that. Give up. And if I catch you hurting her…" He trailed off ominously, leaving an open-ended threat. Janet's eyes looked like they were about to bug out of their sockets.

She nodded quickly, a nervous, jerky movement before she fled. I listened to her retreat till the sound of her squeaking sneakers faded and disappeared. Then I looked up at Damian's face.

He was still supporting me in midair, and it took me a minute to realize how uncomfortable and extremely awkward this was. Shouldn't I have been standing up by now? I think I'd rather have fallen than be in this situation… this was possibly the most humiliating moment in my life, and that was saying something.

I felt a warm flush spread on my cheeks, something that was uncommon in me, even if I had had an embarrassing moment. I was usually not prone to blushing.

"Umm…" I mumbled, looking away from his face. He still wore the same expression as before, but it was less intense… softer and definitely less terrifying. It was a gentle, appraising expression. That made my cheeks a tomato red.

"Are you okay?" His voice was concerned. Suddenly, he pulled me up and away from himself in one swift movement. I felt relief, and sighed, closing my eyes.

"Yes, I feel fine. But you really didn't have to do that. I would have been fine on my own…"

At my words, he raised one brow in disbelief. All I was capable of now was staring at the floor.

"Oh yes, I could see that. She already did _this_ to you." He tapped one of the bigger bruises on my face lightly, so it didn't cause any pain.

"What else do you think she would have done if I hadn't told her off?" I didn't say anything. I wished he hadn't told her off. I would definitely pay for this big time the next time I was alone… which would probably be today, after school. This time, I probably _would_ be beaten half to death.

"So… when did she do that to you?" I shook my head, and let out a frustrated sigh. He did not need to know that, and he shouldn't know that. What he didn't know was only for his own benefit… and mine.

"Never mind. Thank-you from saving me from that fall. See ya."

"Wait! I want to talk to you,"

"Catch you later." I didn't give him a choice as I fled out the door. Even if he did run after me, which I think he wasn't, I would not wait for him. I'd just keep running till I got away.

As my original plan was, I immediately scanned the area for a tree to sit in. As soon as I had found a suitable, climbable looking tree, I went to it and started to scramble up. I plunked down onto a strong limb of the tree as soon as I was up high enough and started t marvel on what had happened.

I could not believe what had happened. That was my first thought. Why had he done that? Everyone else would have just let me fall… but he had saved me. It didn't make sense. I knew he was the courteous, polite type of person, but I would've only fallen onto the ground. True, it would've hurt like hell, but it wouldn't have killed me.

At that moment, I was really glad he didn't follow me. I really did need this time to wonder and think. And that led me to ask myself about what he had said before I left. Why had he wanted to talk to me? It was probably just to ask me about what Janet had did to me last week, but I couldn't be too sure. I didn't know him _all_ that well yet, but I still knew him a bit. So why did he want to know these things? It wouldn't help him do anything, or it wouldn't help me at all. And how could he be so concerned about me? I mean, he did have a girlfriend now, and he shouldn't, without a doubt be trying to talk to me, or stare at me anymore. It was a good thing for me that he wasn't going to stare anymore, but why was he _so_ involved in my problems…?

There was a sudden rustle of leaves that pulled me out of my reveries. And then suddenly a breathtaking boy with amber-blonde hair was on the same branch I was on, sitting cross-legged I the middle of it with perfect balance with his hands folded and relaxed on his lap. I flinched back into the trunk with wide eyes. At first, I thought the boy was Damian, except he had blonde hair. Everything about this boy was almost exactly the same as Damian, except Damian had dark hair, and green eyes. And this boy had black eyes, like the new girl.

A smirk on his face lifted his lips at the corners, and he stared at me with a calm stare. I kept pressed back into the trunk; too surprised to move yet. After a minute of us just watching each other, he was the first one too crack. He burst out laughing all of a sudden.

"Hey, don't look so stunned. It's almost insulting,"

I finally moved, but only raised one eyebrow to give him a look. He just smiled wider, exposing a set of perfect, pearly white teeth.

"So… why are you up in a tree?"

Wow. What a very odd, ironic question to ask.

"I could ask the same of you." I was surprised by how confident I sounded in my words. I didn't feel all that brave. I felt like curling back into my shell. It was a relief, though, that I wasn't stumbling over my words like I would've normally been.

He laughed lightly, and nodded.

"True enough. So, you are…?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Marie. And you are…?"

"I'm Christopher Forrester." It seemed his grin couldn't get any bigger as he saw the way my eyes popped open again in surprise. So he did have a connection with Damian –he was his brother.

"Why do you look so surprised –again?" He laughed, and kept watching my expressions. It looked like he was having fun pointing out my embarrassing moments.

"Are you… Damian's brother?" At the mention of Damian, his mouth fell slightly, but he kept his smile in tact.

"How'd you guess?"

His voice was sarcastic, yet the sarcasm was marred a bit by… resentment. Why was that?

"So, are you at this school now, too?"

"Yes, in fact, I am. But nobody knows because people here were too astounded to see my sister with Damian to notice me walking behind them this morning."

A million questions instantly shot through my head. His sister…? Which would be Damian's sister too? How many brothers and sisters did they have? If there was more, would they come to this school too? And how had Damian been with his _sister_ this morning? He had been with that new girl… I came to a realization with a jolt. The new girl _had been Damian's _sister_._

"That girl was your and Damian's _sister?_"

"Yes. It's hard to tell, though, isn't it?"

I nodded, still stunned. Chris had lost his grin, and was now smiling with dark humour, shaking his head.

"Damian told her that he was having trouble with some girls at school, and Josie volunteered to act as his 'girlfriend' to keep them away."

He winked at me, and started laughing again. I looked at him quizzically, trying to find humour in what he had just said.

"Oh how he makes me laugh. He can't even handle keeping the girls away. I guess he's just too polite to shut them down immediately –what a sad sight to see. I'm glad I wasn't here to see him struggling to get away from them."

Chris was chuckling the whole time he explained, finding it very humorous. But I felt bad for Damian. I wouldn't like it either, if I was constantly hounded by admirers. I was instantly thankful that that wasn't the case for me.

The bell suddenly began to ring, announcing that lunch was over. Chris smiled at me, and held out his hand as he got up.

"Want help down? I wouldn't want you to t? fall out." My eyes narrowed on him icily, and shook my head. How had he known that I was so clumsy? He'd only known me for a few minutes or so now. He snickered under his breath and shrugged his shoulders. Then he proceeded to the end of the branch and jumped off without hesitation. I had to admit, I was surprised as I leaned over to see he had landed on both feet, and had not broken anything. He gave me an impish grin before he loped off, faster than I'd seen anyone run before.

It took me a minute before I could actually climb down the tree myself. I was too amazed and astounded with my new knowledge.

But I eventually made it down the tree, and ran as fast as I was capable of back to the school. Even though I was known for my clumsiness, I was a fairly good runner. It seemed like I finally found balance there.

I was into the building quickly enough, and I flew to my locker, and grabbed my bag without having to dig through anything like I'd seen a lot of kids doing here before. I only had the one bag in there, so I didn't need to worry about digging through a mess when I needed something.

And then I was off to art… I wondered if the new girl –Josie, apparently- would be there along with Janet and Damian. What a class that would be, if indeed they were all there.

I ran the rest of the way, and made it, being one of the last people in the class who the teacher glared at.

I immediately scanned the room to see who was there. Damian was staring at me intently, in his normal spot but the desk beside him was empty. Janet was on the far left side of the room, looking as if she were in mourning. Which she probably was. Her ego had been bruised, and she was taking it hard. But she deserved to be knocked down a peg; she acted as if she ran this place.

Looking back to him, I saw him gesture for me to come sit with him. My eyes widened slightly, not used to that, but I managed to shake my head. He frowned, and waved me over more evidently. Janet started to watch him, and I knew I was fighting a losing battle for some reason. I sighed heavily as I went to sit by him. His posture looked like it relaxed a bit as I sat down reluctantly.

I set my bag down, and I waited silently for him to start speaking. I don't think he would want to sit beside me if he didn't want to talk about something. But I began to doubt myself as the silence lasted –between us anyway. The teacher started jabbering, and I only concentrated on waiting for him to start speaking. I was going to be way behind if I didn't get help form someone on what we were supposed to be doing. We were a good part into the hour, and I had started to sketch a landscape –an activity she had told us to do that I had picked up eventually in the teacher's lesson- when Damian started to talk.

"So are you okay? I mean, Janet slapped you pretty hard and you have a lot of bruises on your face…"

"No, I'm fine. You don't need to be so concerned." He looked at me incredulously, and shook his head.

"What happened though? You never answered me before, and I really am curious. How did she hurt you so badly?" Well, I had to admit curiosity could be sparked. Janet didn't look strong enough to do some of the numbers that were done to my face. I sighed, and shook my head.

"Where were you? Everyone could probably here the commotion in the back – they were screaming and laughing, having a grand ol' time."

My voice was dripping with sarcasm by the end. He raised one eyebrow and his eyes glinted anger.

"They?" His voice was flat, and no emotion came through. He just sat there, watching me, waiting for me to continue. But I shook my head.

"Enough. I don't think you need to hear about my life's petty problems. This is my problem and I can deal with it."

"No, I want to hear." The command in his tone made me turn me turn to look at him. It seemed like he would not give up –even when I wouldn't tell him. And then I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. They looked like solid emerald –frozen in his abrupt intensity. I couldn't look away then, and I was compelled to tell him the truth.

"Janet and her 'friends' pretty much swarmed me after school last week." I stated. He turned his face away, so I couldn't see his expression. I cocked my head to the side, and stared at him curiously.

"Damian?"

"What?" He muttered in a hard voice. I frowned, not understanding what mood he was going through.

"What's the matter?"

He turned himself back to face me, and looked at me.

"Oh, I just dislike Janet very much." I burst out laughing, disturbing over half the class. I saw the teacher at the front glare at me. Damian looked at me as if I were crazy.

"What are you laughing about?" I kept giggling until I could finally control myself.

"Well that makes two of us, and probably others, though they'd never admit it. Yes, I guess you wouldn't like Janet –she's been hounding you since day one, hasn't she?" I laughed again, and this time he joined me. I saw Janet glowering at us as we did so. Yes, I could tell from the look in her eyes that I was going to get it big time tonight. I might as well live it out right now.

And Damian and I said no more on the matter –or anything at all really. I could tell we were both not very big talkers, and the silence was calm rather than awkward.

Class passed quickly, and I managed to pick up on what I had missed. We were supposed to be sketching a rough landscape this period so the next time we could paint it. Oh what fun that will be –or would be. I still didn't know how tonight would turn out, but I had a basic idea…

Damian and I said a short goodbye and then we were off to our separate classes. I really wished that Janet would not be my lab partner again like she was last week. But I don't think she would. The last time she was, she needed to threaten me to stay away from Damian. But there was no need for words now. She knew that I knew that I was in a heap of trouble.

I entered the biology room and stopped dead as soon as I saw the new girl. She was standing at my lab table –my partner nowhere to be found- with a ever-present smile on her face. Her smile broadened a bit when she saw me, and she extended a finger and pointed to me and signalled that I come over to her. I saw my little partner at the back of the room now –without a partner now, but looking so happy I couldn't bother to go over and sit by him. With a sigh, I walked slowly over to my old spot and sat by my new partner. She seemed happy that I was there with her.

"Hello, my name is Josie Cartwright." I gave her a look, and she looked at me confusedly. I decided to just let her know, so she didn't have to keep the charade up with me.

"I know that you're Chris's and Damian's sister." She looked shocked for a moment, but then she grinned evilly.

"Of course Chris told you. Damn it. Well, I guess your smart enough to know that Damian doesn't want everyone to know that," I took the warning, nodding and sighing.

"No, I would never dream of telling. If I were him, I wouldn't want that to happen to me, either." She pursed her lips, and narrowed her eyes calculatingly on me. I frowned back.

"What?" She shook her head as if she were clearing it and smiled angelically.

"Nothing, hon. Now why don't we get started, eh?" And without another word the class proceeded.

Well, Josie came off as a nice person. We chit-chatted for only a few more minutes spread out across the span of an hour. She asked my name, what subjects I preferred… even my favourite colour. It was kind of a random question, but she seemed like a random girl, so I answered her questions with only sometimes a weird look. She would laugh at me, and pat me on the back lightly. To tell the truth, I'd never really experienced anything like that before. I'd never fit in anywhere, or had been really connected to anything, so this was new for me.

When class was over, we got up out of our seats, and she took my hand and shook it. I thought that was just a bit awkward, though it didn't seem like it for Josie. It looked as if it were normal to her, though teenagers these days didn't usually shake hands. Especially girls.

"Bye Marie. See ya tomorrow." She let go of me and winked before leaving the room. I shrugged my shoulders, dismissing her weird way of saying good-bye and gathered up my things. I thought I'd better do it quick, too, because I wanted to get a head start on Janet. Even though I knew it was inevitable, I still wanted to avoid it.

I got everything fairly quickly, and then pretty much ran out of the room. I ran all the way through the halls to the exit out into the parking lot area… until I saw who was waiting there. Damian was lounging against the wall, looking perfectly at ease until he saw me and my expression. A smirk pulled up the corners of his lips, and he pushed himself off the wall. It was so obvious that he had been waiting for me, and I don't know what I felt like doing. There were a lot of things I wanted to do…

He walked up to me, a smile still on his lips as he looked at me.

"Don't look so upset." He said, and put an arm around my back to guide me. It didn't quite touch me, but it was close enough to help him guide me. He turned us around and walked to the door.

"What are you doing?" I asked, almost seething. He actually laughed at me this time, but then turned serious.

"Helping you." He stated; his voice firm. I looked at him with a confused expression for a moment until we were outside, and I spotted Janet leaning against a tree. At that exact moment, Josie came bounding up to us, and curled Damian's other arm around her own back. She then leaned up and pecked Damian on the cheek, which he immediately grimaced at. He worked hard to get a smile on his face, I could tell, but he eventually got it.

"You know, Damian, you aren't a very convincing actor. You have to work on it." Josie whispered jokingly in his ear. I could barely contain my snickering. We stopped, and he gave Josie a serious look. Josie smiled wider, and then whispered again, "She knows."

He shot me a look.

"How?" He hissed back frustratingly. She held her hands up in surrender.

"Hey, I didn't tell her. She told me that she knew, and I basically connected the pieces. _Chris_ told her." She breathed something else in his ear that I could not make out, and Damian cursed under his breath. When he had controlled his anger, presumably towards Chris, he looked at me.

"You can understand why though, right?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yah, I can guess. Don't worry, I won't spill the beans." He laughed at me, and I actually cracked a genuine smile for the first time in a while. It was good to see him laugh –he always seemed concentrated or worrying about something. You barely ever saw him smile; only the occasional time. He was always so serious…

He stared at my smile, and it immediately disappeared off my face.

"Umm… yah, thank you. I would've been a Janet chew toy again if it weren't for…" I couldn't say it, I felt too embarrassed. Why was he so set on keeping me safe? No one else had showed that concern before. I didn't understand it, and I definitely couldn't say I liked it. Today seemed like a whole different experience for me.

He smiled widely, exposing the same set of pearly whites as Chris. They were so much alike it was astonishing.

"No problem." I nodded, and stepped out of the perimeter of his arm. We had stopped at my car, and I could see Janet watching from in front of the school with a look of pure loathing on her face. She would have definitely gotten me if Damian hadn't first. I got in, and shut the door. Josie began to wave as I backed up, and I waved quickly back. She leaned into him, and he had his hand set lightly on her waist. It really did look like they were a couple when she wasn't kissing him.

Josie continued waving to me till I was out of sight.


	4. Chapter 4: Complications

Chp 4: Complications

The next few days had their ups and downs. But one down almost made me think the all the days were miserable. And that down was that the nightmares were getting worse and were relentless about keeping me up after I awoke screaming from them. This resulted in me sleeping through classes and through almost every break I got. Like lunch, where now, I spend it with Damian, Chris, and Josie.

They were starting to get worried about me, although Damian seemed like he was more worried and concerning than most. "What's wrong Marie?" was his most said line these days. And besides that, I was always sleeping so we never talked. I barely talked even with Josie, who seemed like she considered me as a friend. I didn't know my situation with Chris; he was always laughing at me, so I just considered that he liked seeing my flaws and sniggering at them rather than actually enjoying my company.

Last night's nightmare had to be one of the worst. It'd exceeded past where the giant wolf-like creature attacked me –now I battled with it like I was an animal myself. It sent shivers down my spine whenever I thought of it, just as it did now, in art class, sitting next to the ever so worried god-like boy.

"Are you okay?"

I sighed sleepily and nodded. Apart from being tired out of my mind, and being afraid to sleep, I was just fine.

"Will you just tell me what's going on –what's bothering you? It's driving me crazy not knowing what's wrong with you."

Shifting my lazy eyes towards Damian's unearthly face, I noted his frown and my jaw tightened.

"You know, you don't _always_ need to know what's happening."

And it was true. It seemed like he needed to know what was happening with me all the time, and to tell the truth it was annoying. I knew it shouldn't be –not too many other girls here would reject attention from a guy as good looking, intelligent, and kind as Damian was. Well, I guess I was kidding myself. _No one_ would turn that away. I sighed as I picked yet another difference out between me and other girls, and Damian frowned harder as he concentrated on the teacher who was talking. I knew he wasn't listening to her; his face was too tense to look like he was paying attention. The teacher would probably be asking herself soon why he was apparently glaring at her.

"Ugh…" I groaned quietly. My eyes were closed so I didn't check to see if he had looked at me. He probably was anyway, but that didn't seem to bother me anymore. I guess I was just used to it now; I expected it. He didn't do it as often as before, which was a good thing. Before, it looked like he expected me to drop dead any second, I realized. Oh well. As I thought before, it didn't bother me anymore, and only a rare few things ever bothered me…

I felt my head bob forward; falling asleep for about two seconds before my eyes flew open and I righted myself. This just could not go on… but it most likely would till the dreams went away.

Damian laid a hand on my shoulder, and I vaguely wondered why until I noticed that I was swaying back and forth. My head didn't feel connected to my body, and I felt very woozy.

"Iz okay…" I mumbled, and swept his ice cold fingers off my shoulder. It was surprisingly easy to do what with the state I was in. But he probably just let me brush them off anyway.

My eyes struggled to keep open; they fluttered as I battled with my eyelids. Any moment, I knew I was going to crash. The only thing I could wish for is that I wouldn't have one of my terrifying dreams and wake up screaming during class. Everyone would definitely think I was a nut job then, if they didn't already think that.

I leaned down and laid my head on the desktop – I didn't particularly want everyone to be alarmed if my head just suddenly plonked onto the desk without warning.

I drifted without thought until seemingly seconds later, I awoke to nudging and someone calling my name.

"Marie! Marie Alexander, answer my question."

"Uhh…" I muttered, lifting my head off the desk to look at her blearily. She was glaring at me, standing at the front of the class and tapping her toe anxiously and irritatingly. It made a rhythmic sound against the linoleum, and it diverted my attention momentarily. My mind was easily susceptible to distractions in my current condition.

"Answer my question, or you can leave my classroom right now, Miss Alexander."

"Group of Seven." Damian whispered quietly in my ear, so only I could hear.

But it took only seconds to put together an answer of my own.

"I think I'll leave. You're class was obviously too boring, or else I would've been paying attention."

And with a light scraping of my chair, I pushed myself up and started to walk down the isle of desks. I scanned the room once, and noted that a lot of people were staring at me with a dumbfounded expression. It was surprising how one single comment affected everyone, especially since I spoke my own mind. But I in my sleep deprived state I couldn't bring myself to laugh at them, where as before, it would have been hard to control my laughter. The teacher was probably the most open abut showing how appalled she was. Her mouth hung wide open, her eyes wide, and staring me without words as I walked away. Only one person really stood out in my mind though. Damian observed me with wide eyes, but nothing other than that. Maybe he was expecting this to happen; he knew me better than anyone else here, since he'd been hanging around me for a bit.

I left the silent classroom quickly, and ran down the hall to the mostly-deserted girls' bathroom. Really, I had no idea what I'd just done. I didn't care that I would be in huge trouble later… all I cared about was sleep. And where I was headed was where I was going to sleep until I would return home reluctantly. Cynthia had given me a warning that the next time I decided to cross the line again she would show me how to stay in line the hard way. I knew what that meant; she'd been using that statement for years. It was never a good thing, obviously, when she said it.

I was in the empty bathroom within minutes, and, when I got there, was lying down on the cold, hard tile.

My arms and legs were sprawled out in all different directions, and the side of my face was pressed against the floor. It looked as if I had dropped dead and passed out on the floor. I _felt_ dead. My head wasn't attached to my body, it seemed and my thoughts consisted of nothing. Everything felt like it weighed three hundred pounds. I found that I didn't have much time to think –before I was floating.

"Marie…Marie!"

Someone's voice called; it sounded close and far away at the same time. I felt gentle nudging on my shoulder.

When I didn't respond to any of the person's actions, I felt someone's glacially cold fingers turn my face in their direction.

"Marie? Are you okay?" There was an edge of nervousness in that intoxicating voice. It made me want to open my eyes –but I couldn't.

The person rolled me over so I was on my back now, and half sitting up, supported by their arms. And then with a great shock, I felt someone hoist me up off the ground as if it were no effort what so ever. Whoever had picked me up had started walking. The surprise was great enough to make my eyelids flutter open.

"Damian!" I almost shrieked. My voice was too rough and low to sound like a shriek. He stopped in his tracks as he heard the sound of my voice. He looked down upon me in surprise.

"Marie?"

His face looked undoubtedly staggered. I looked up at him with groggy, incredulous eyes.

"What are you doing with me?"

He just kept looking at me with wide eyes, and I sighed, and closed my eyes after a bit.

"Well, as long as I'm not going to get an answer out of you, do you mind putting me down?"

He shook his head, the look of amazement disappearing from his face, and then he proceeded in setting me gently back down on the floor.

I leaned against the wall, and looked up at him as he watched me below him.

"What are you doing in here, Damian? You know, this _is_ a girls' bathroom."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't see any other girls in here besides you. And anyway, when I saw that you didn't go home right away after class, I thought _something_ might've happened to you."

He ground his teeth together in an attempt to calm himself. I knew immediately what he meant when he said he thought 'something' might have happened to me. But I couldn't feel anything but anger that he was so involved in my personal life.

I glared up at him.

"That doesn't make a difference. And I really don't know why you're so concerned about keeping me out of trouble –it's not a hobby worth taking up."

Now it was his turn to frown.

"I'm telling you right now, don't worry yourself over me. I can take care of myself –have for pretty much my whole life." His glower intensified –and I was as fazed as he was under my piercing glare. I can admit I was surprised –usually nobody could stand my scowl without being at least a little nervous.

"Oh yes, I can tell from your battle wounds. You got yourself beaten up almost half to death."

"Why does that even matter? I'm alive, aren't I? That's all that matters."

He crouched down so he was at eye level with me, and took my shoulders lightly –my bruises were still tender, obviously. He looked deeply into my eyes, penetrating my thoughts processes. All thoughts ceased to be as I looked into his vibrant, rich green eyes.

"No, that's not all that matters Marie. Sometimes these things come back to bite you. You cannot just roll over and take things like that –and even if you choose not to fight, get someone to help you."

I couldn't help but uttering the truth. His eyes compelled something in me…

"But I have no one. If I would yell for help, no one would answer. I have no friends, no one who likes me –that's also how it's been my whole life. Not even the staff here would help me if I screamed for help when Janet and her posse were beating me up. So, as you can see Damian, I have no one."

His eyes hardened, so they actually looked like gems, and his jaw was taut.

"You have me. You have Josie and Chris too."

I rolled my eyes.

"You guys aren't my friends. As soon as you've realized that I'm the least popular kid in the school, and that you shouldn't be hanging out with me because you should be popular, you'll leave me in the dust. I have no intention of getting attached to you on the notion that you will be leaving me anytime now."

His eyes narrowed on mine.

"I'm going to be your friend, Marie, whether you like it or not."

His words left me dumbstruck. My mouth literally fell open, and I stared at him with open amazement. He kept the same expression; determined, tense, and only slightly frustrated.

I tried to speak a few times, but I found the words would just not come out of my mouth. After he saw that, a corner of his mouth pulled up in a triumphant grin. He looked unearthly.

"Why?" I finally uttered slash muttered.

"Because I have to." He let go of my shoulders, and in one graceful movement, he was up and walking towards the exit.

And I was left there to revel in my appalled state, and to think about my situation now.

First of all, I felt… _real._ I started to feel things I hadn't in a long time. The numbness, that I realized had been ever present in my life for many years, had faded. I didn't understand what was happening to me. I didn't feel cold, and cut off from everything like I had before. What I was feeling was the sensation of being _alive._ It was then that I realized that Damian had slowly but surely pulled me out of my depressed state since the moment he arrived here, and I was now vulnerable. Emotions had not affected me before like they did now.

Everything felt like it started to spiral down on me, and I almost felt like I was about to black out for a minute. But to my disappointment, I didn't. That would have been a relief by now. All of this was just too much to handle.

I shifted on the wall where I was now supporting myself, banging my head on the sink in the process. I groaned and, then making a spontaneous decision, continued in getting up.

Well, I had to get home sometime tonight didn't I? I was only prolonging the inevitable. Cynthia would wait up for me all night, and even if she were dead tired at two in the morning she would ambush and beat the heck out of me when I would sneak into the house.

I was slightly wobbly on my feet, but I made it up and slowly began my way to my car –and in the process of doing that, getting closer to the world of pain that awaited me.

As I was driving, I could feel myself shutting down again. It seemed I had a particular talent for that now. I wished it would just stay with me like it had for the many years before this one. What had changed? I could feel the breeze on my face, coming in from my car window as I drove down the back roads to my house. Emotions boiled up inside me, which made me nervous as I got closer and closer to my house, which I quickly snuffed out.

If I were to face my mother without giving her any reactions to go on, then I had to rid myself of all emotion. That way I could escape with what little pride I had left…

Soon I arrived in my driveway, and soon after that I watched in complete emotionless silence as Cynthia emerged with a murderously angry expression out of the house.

I'd asked myself before, right before Janet and her posse gang beat me, why I never gave a thought into fighting back, and there really was no other reason than I didn't want to hurt anybody… even my abusive mother whom I loathed probably since I was a child. I would take it if anyone tried to hurt me, but I don't think I could live with myself if I'd ever hurt anyone. It would haunt my memory for life, and that's what I was afraid of. I just couldn't… especially now, since I could only switch off emotion when absolutely necessary.

I turned off the car, and opened the door slowly. When I was out and standing stalk still, Cynthia was descending the stairs as slowly as I had gotten out of the car. She was presumably doing this to prolong the moment –and her enjoyment of it.

"You knew this was coming Marie… You knew this was going to happen if you did anything else. So why –how could you say that to your _teacher_?"

Cynthia probably didn't even care about that –she was just happy that she finally had a reason to take all her anger –and possible loathing of herself- out on me.

She was now standing right in front of me, only centimetres away. She was looming over me only slightly; she was only an inch or two taller than my height of 5"5.

I didn't answer her; I just remained silent, waiting for what I knew was coming. The next thing I heard were her knuckles cracking as her fists tightened. And then she slapped me across my face. I felt the sting, and nothing else.

She grabbed my wrist and pulled me along behind her into the house. It really didn't matter if she did it in the house or outside –nobody would hear anything. We were almost living in the forest after all, and I wouldn't make a sound anyway.

After we were in the house, the punches and kicks really started to rain down on me. They stung worse than when Janet beat me last, since there were already bruises everywhere she was punching me. I didn't understand what she got out of this –I normally didn't show any pain on my face, and it always looked like she was hoping it would. Other than that, she had a vicious smile and wild eyes under her angry-set brows.

"Do you think I _like_ to do this to you?"

She screamed in a malicious voice, and I could tell from that and the expression on her face that she did.

She was beating me to a bloody pulp… I could feel it. All I felt was extreme pain, and dizziness. I think she'd broken my nose, because I felt and smelled blood running down my face, and I tasted it in my mouth. But that could also be blood from my mouth, but that didn't mater right now. Nothing really mattered right now.

I couldn't stay up any longer. Her blows were too strong, and now I was too weak to stand. I collapsed in the hall, near the staircase.

Apparently that –and probably nothing- would not stop her attack.

Once I was down, she began kicking harder and harder. I was now pressed against the bottom of the stairs, and now I couldn't help but clutching my sides. My ribs felt like they were on fire, because a searing pain was stabbing me everywhere in my chest. It was hard to keep myself from screaming.

My breaths were ragged, and made an uneven sound. It was hard to get air to my lungs, and I would probably start hyperventilating soon.

Cynthia's smile got wider, and she kicked me a few more times.

She stared at me for a second, a broken, helpless, and limp form on the ground before she kicked me for the final time. And it definitely did some damage.

There was a muffled cracking, snapping sound and it actually made me cry out. I'd never experienced such pain before. It was worse than anything I'd ever imagined, or could imagine.

My eyes closed, and I couldn't bring myself to open them anymore. I heard someone laughing above me.

"Suck it up, buttercup." She snickered, and then left me at the foot of the stairs to battle against my pain. I couldn't think straight anymore, so I stayed in the exact same position I was left in. It was only a few minutes later that I slipped into oblivion.

I shot up from the ground with a sharp gasp, which almost made me pass out again from the pain it caused. It almost made me start hyperventilating, which would not be the best thing for me right now.

Attempting to ignore the pains aching through me, I assessed my surroundings with a blank look. I was now bent over in an awkward position at the foot of the stairs, trying to bend my body into a shape that wouldn't cause me pain. But apparently it wasn't working. I felt like I was falling apart. The pain was rising to a point where it was almost excruciating.

It looked like dawn was breaking; the light filtered in slightly through the windows, making the room brighter and almost a purplish colour like it was outside. The light hadn't quite reached where I was standing though.

I saw through the darkness as I glanced down and noticed a little strip of the wooden floor that was a different colour. I frowned at it till I realized what it was; the little stream of blood that had ran from my nose and possibly my mouth. Removing one of my arms that were wrapped around my sides, I touched my upper lip, and felt the dried, crusted on blood. With a sigh of disgust, I dropped my hand back to its original place. I needed to clean myself up, and get some extra strength Tylenol pronto.

Now I had to see if I was able to walk feeling like this. I took one step, and with a rough cry, figured out that I could not. The shift that my body had to make to take only one step was almost too much to bear. But I had to make it. I would not stay here with my sadistic mother, whom would enjoy me grimacing and making pained sounds every time I would do something. And I didn't care if I was suspended from school. She would not take care of me, so how else would I get better? I would have to take care of myself. So that is why I was walking through severe pain to the bathroom to make myself swallow some Tylenol to take at least the edge off the throbbing.

Several moans, groans, and one scream later I was in the bathroom, very ticked off, and desperately searching through the medicine cabinet, while clutching my sides, to find the painkillers. I didn't care if Cynthia had woken up from my painful sounds, and heard me rummaging through the cabinet. I didn't care about a single thing besides finding some relief from the hurt.

I finally found them, and dry swallowed four before gulping down some water. The thirst almost overpowered the pain now, and I found chugging three glasses of water a momentary relief before the pain replaced it.

Taking a few deep breaths, and finding that the ache was too severe, I turned to taking small, shallow breaths instead. Closing the cabinet, and glancing into the mirror, I froze in my tracks. I almost gasped at what I saw, though knew before hand it was not such a good idea to do so.

I'd never had bruises that were this bad or had so many on my face to begin with. Only some of my skin had stayed the almost pure white colour it had been before. And even that was mostly covered in blood. My face seemed like one big dark blue-black splotch of ink. I stood gaping at it. How did my face not hurt as much as my sides? My eyes widened. If my face was this bad, how was the rest of my body?

Slowly, carefully, I lifted my black tank-top, which was sticky and clung to my body with perspiration. My eyes continued to widen as I lifted it higher and higher. I stopped just before I reached my chest, because I was absolutely appalled at what I saw. It looked absolutely horrid.

One huge bruise covered my whole right side. One part of my rib cage, which was protruding pretty far out, looked a little… _sunk in._ It took all of my strength to not throw up.

"Ugh!" I hissed quietly.

Almost at once I was back digging through the cabinet. A few things went flying as I did so. I finally found a roll of tensor bandage and slowly began to wrap it around my rib cage. I tried not to make any sudden or harsh movements to irritate or put any more pressure on it.

Yes, I knew I should be going to a doctor. But I couldn't. How on earth would I explain what happened to me? Falling down the stairs was a probability… but also not really. That excuse was barely believable. How would I have received that many brutal bruises from falling down a flight of stairs? I resisted the urge to sigh as I finished the roll and pinned it in place with a safety pin. Even with a whole roll of tensor bandage wrapped around my body, I still looked like a skeleton. It was actually pretty scar once I thought about it. I quickly disregarded that fact, and took a step to see if I could walk any better.

Pain still shot through me like burning hot knives, everywhere, not just my ribs, but they hurt the most. It was a little hard to breathe. But I could make it through the day. I could do it. I just had to believe I could, and swallow ten million pain killers to weaken the pain a little bit.

I took a not so deep breath and closed my eyes. Time for me to clean up.

I admit; it was very awkward to do this. I decided it probably wasn't the best idea to have a shower. I didn't particularly feel like unwinding the bandage, and seeing that awful wound again, so I stuck my head in the shower and washed my hair and face. All the blood washed off, and looked kind of nasty as it flowed with the water down the drain. My nose crinkled, and my face hurt more than it already did because of that. I was very sluggish at everything I was doing. I was being very careful in my movements, trying not to cause myself anymore pain. It was a good thing I had woken up early. Maybe even, I would be early for school.

As I looked at my face in the mirror, I had to admit it was a bit better. But not by much. It was almost not even worth putting cover up on –there was no way I would be able to conceal that dark of a colour. Just to make it better I would have to use the whole bottle. Literally.

By the time I was done trying to make myself look presentable, the sun was peeking over the treetops. I watched it from my room, on my bed, where I was now laying. I found it just a little bit easier to walk with all the painkillers and the tensor bandage. I decided to bring the bottle to school with me, and made a mental note to drop by a convenience store or drug store and pick up some more.

I'd picked out my comfiest clothes to wear for the day; a huge baggy black hoody and a pair of easy-to-move-in blue jeans. There wasn't exactly a position I could put myself in that would take the pain away –everywhere ached. So I just tried to take the pressure off the parts of my body that hurt the most. The main area was obviously my ribs. Sometimes I had a hard time not doubling over in pain.

Finally, as I glanced over at the clock, it was 6:30AM. It was probably an appropriate time to get going. That way I could get to a store before school started, and have time to just hang by myself around the school.

Slowly, I got up, pain still shooting everywhere around my body. I tried my best to focus on moving myself to the car, and where I was going –what I was doing.

When I finally reached my car, most likely fifteen minutes had passed. Taking this long to do everything was annoying but necessary. I definitely did not want to strain myself in this state.

Resting myself against the seat, I turned the car on and drove. Good thing this was easy to do –or else I would have been stuck here. And good thing I had thought to back in instead of just driving in front first and parked. I didn't want to think of the pain that would have caused –turning my body in that way. I repressed a shudder and continued driving. I took my time for no apparent reason –driving like a non-speed demon. As I'd said before, I didn't want to push myself just in case something happened. I didn't particularly want to all of a sudden black out doing 90 mph and run into a tree or something like that.

I think the manager at the store thought I was a little weird. Not that that was any different from any person any other day. But he stared at me while I hobbled slightly over to the counter with the pills. I bought three big bottles of Tylenol. Maybe that's why he was looking at me so strange. But I didn't have it in me to glare or anything at him. I just sighed slightly as his eyes examined me. I left the store, moving a little more quickly than before, and began to drive the short distance away to the school. I guess there were a few advantages to living in a small town… everything was close by. As the saying goes with most small towns "Don't blink while you're drive through Ymir (or any other small village), or you'll miss it."

I arrived in the school parking lot almost seconds later, and I guess I had less time to hang around than I thought. There were students in the parking lot already. I looked at the clock in the dash before I turned it off. I had fifteen minutes. Oh well. There really was nothing to do anyway.

As soon as I had gotten out of my car, I saw two people approaching me. I already knew who they were, I was just wondering where the third person was. I scanned around until I spotted Chris by the main entrance, leaned over a flattered-looking girl on the wall. She was fairly pretty, but I didn't recognize her, and she probably wasn't new. He had his arm above her head, and his marble-white face very close to the girl's tomato red face. I locked up as I looked back to Josie's and Damian's faces. His eyes were focused on me, while Josie's was looking back at Chris with a half embarrassed half ashamed look. She pried her eyes off them and looked down to the ground, shaking her head shamefully.

I made sure my face was still turned toward the car, looking through my hair so they would not see my face yet. I didn't want them noticing me and then running up to me, making a scene. I was just being precautious; I didn't know if they would ever do that, but I wasn't about to let them do it.

When they finally reached me, Damian was looking a little confused. I could see Josie was still humiliated by her other brother, and wasn't asking herself why I hadn't turned to meet them, or hadn't even moved a centimetre since I'd locked my car.

"Hey, Marie…?"

Damian's greeting sounded like a question. I sighed and, with my face down and out of sight, manoeuvred around him as quick as was possible without causing the aching to worsen. I didn't succeed very well, and I gritted my teeth to stop a shriek from escaping my lips. I'd go to the bathroom when I got inside and pop a few more Tylenol.

"Uhh…"

He snuck up beside me, and kept my pace easily. I saw him duck his head a little, trying to get a view of my face. I turned my head slightly in the opposite direction. He reached out to grab or touch my shoulder, and I flinched away, causing a massive spasm to rock through my body. I stopped, and almost fell to my knees –I wobbled where I stood. That had not been a good idea, but it was an automatic reaction. For one, I did not want him to cause more pain by touching me, and two I was not used to any other contact physical except when someone wanted to hurt me.

"Mmmm…" I groaned. It was definitely not a groan of joy or anything along the lines of that. I was restraining another scream.

He had stopped with me, and now he had moved to stand in front of me. I could see that he wanted me to look at him, but he was cautious to not touch me.

I had my arms wrapped tightly around me, holding me together. There was nothing else I could do to help myself till I could get inside and take some more painkillers. A grimace seemed like it was plastered on my face permanently now.

"Marie, are you all right?"

His voice reflected the worry on his face and in his gorgeous eyes. I made myself look away from him, and muttered, "Right as rain, pal. Can we please start walking again? Don't make a scene…"

The first part was angrily sarcastic, and then the end was dark and threatening. His frown continued to deepen until he came to a decision. He stepped out of my way, but meanwhile he mumbled, "I won't make a scene if you tell me what's going on with you later –in privacy."

I didn't bother answering him –he would only kick up a fuss if I told him that he would not make a scene, and that I would not answer his question of what was going on with me.

"Right, see you later," I sighed, when we were in front of the doors.

Josie started to lead Damian by his hand towards their first class, be he shook his head and leaned over to whisper something in her ear. She smiled elegantly at me before her lips turned down the tiniest bit and then at last she nodded. Their hands unclasped, and she reached up to kiss him. She wound her arms around his neck, and had to go up on her tippy toes. She was just a little shorter than me. He leaned down and kissed her back, though I could tell, but probably no one else could tell, he was still reluctant. I felt a pang of something in my chest, though I could tell it wasn't pain. They looked so amazing together…

She retreated with a brilliant smile and waved at both of us before she disappeared into the crowd of people. I could see that everyone near us, even though they'd seen it many times before, had stopped in their tracks to watch the divine couple suck face. It was a little funny when I put it in my head that way, but really it wasn't. Everyone was absolutely awestruck every time they saw it happen.

"Why aren't you going with her?" I hissed. Damian shrugged his shoulders, and peered down at me.

"I don't have to go with her, do I? Besides, you have something to tell me."

"Uhh…"

I started to panic a little. I wanted to be alone right now.

"I have to go to the office to even see if I'm allowed in the classroom anymore. I'll probably be awhile…"

"Well, I'll escort you. I don't think I'll be missing anything important in gym…" He said slyly –almost mockingly. I started making up excuses in my head.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"You have to go to a lot of places, don't you?" He seemed to have an answer to everything, and it was getting irritating.

"Are you going to wait for me outside the door, and risk being accused as a sexual predator? Or are you going to go too –I've never seen you take off for a bathroom break before." I asked in a sarcastic tone.

He laughed lightly –it was one of the most harmonious, pleasing sounds I'd ever heard.

"The first –except I don't think I'll be accused of being a sexual predator." He snickered. It sounded like he had more to say, but he cut off there. I sighed in defeat.

We both headed back to the abandoned girls' bathroom where he'd found me the day before. I was quite surprised he hadn't noticed the huge bruises on my face yet –but I guess I shouldn't be surprised since I'd been hiding my face the whole time I'd been here. I suppose I expected him to notice, and over react like he always does, any minute now. But it was inevitable that he would find out… I just had to be prepared when it happened.

He stopped a short distance away from the bathroom, and I entered with a grimace on my face. I really didn't understand why he was so _pushy_ and persistent.

As soon as I was in, I dropped my bag on the tiled floor. My face scrunched up when I heard the bottles make a loud sound as the pills moved and clattered and clanked against the sides of it. The sound then made an echo… an echo that was very easily heard at that.

"Ugh…" I groaned. The throbbing started to come back, but at the same time, I didn't want to let him here the rattle of the pills. He would know what was going on for sure then, and I didn't want to let him know that I was taking Tylenol of all things for the pain. He would get worries, and send me to a doctor immediately. I couldn't take that. So how would this work?

Biting my lip, I slowly took one of the bottles. It only made a slight sound; not enough that _Damian_ could hear I wouldn't think…

I popped open the child lock on it, and grimaced at the sound. He might've heard that. But I sighed as I realized what I was doing. It shouldn't matter what he thought. But I didn't understand why it did… It was probably just the fact that he might do something dramatic if he found out. I kept reassuring myself of that as I unworriedly tipped the bottle so some pills fell into my hand, not stressing over if it made sound or not. It did, and as soon as it did, I heard my name being called.

"Marie? What are you doing?" I could almost hear the concerned, puzzled, frustrated frown on his face. I'd been accustomed to that tone for awhile and the facial expressions that went with it for the past while.

"What do you think I do in a bathroom? Mind your own business."

I heard a faint 'humph' and then al went silent. I downed my pills quickly, put the rest away, and then exited to find an annoyed-looking Damian resting against the wall.

He raised an eyebrow at me, and I shrugged. His frown deepened.

"Marie, tell me what's going on."

The tone in his voice was a demand. If I wasn't still hiding my face from him, I would have been glaring at him with narrowed eyes.

"You don't need to know what's going on with me. I don't know why you're so concerned. But I'm telling you for hopefully the last time, _you don't need to worry about me._ I can take care of myself."

I didn't give him a chance to answer before I stalked off, biting my fist trying to control a screech. It wasn't good to put myself under that much stress, but I had to get away from there.

As soon as I thought I was far enough away, I slowed to an easier, more comfortable pace. The Tylenol was starting to kick in a little bit, and I stopped myself before a sigh of relief came out.

But suddenly I felt a sharp tap on my shoulder, and I lurched forward fiercely with a half hiss half yelping sound.

"Hey Marie, I just wanted to come see how you were doing…" I didn't even have to look at Janet to see her sneer.

My eyes widened, and I was almost too surprised. _No, no, no… why can't this happen later, when I heal a little more? _I felt helpless as I turned to see Janet, and half of her gang behind her. I closed my eyes tightly.

"We're not going to go away just because you closed your eyes, you know."

Janet and everyone behind her started laughing. I gritted my teeth, my jaw tightened, and I was on the edge of losing it.

"Look she's trying harder! Do you have some kind of mystical power that can somehow transport me and my friends away?"

That was it. I would not take any of her crap standing down now. She needed a taste of her own medicine; she needed to know what it was like to be scorned. She needed to know how much of a unpleasant person she was… if she didn't already know it.

"Why don't you just give up Janet? You always act like you're higher, better than everyone else. But really you're not. You just make everyone around you feel worse about themselves to make yourself feel better. Does it make you feel good to trample all over people like that? I'm sure you guys get pushed around and bullied all the time. Aren't you tired of it by now?"

I was now addressing the people behind her. I was sure Janet didn't treat them like people, and I was just sick of seeing them trail behind her like lost puppies. If they had a mind of their own, and they obviously weren't using it, so _someone_ had to show them that they did.

I turned back to Janet, who was frozen in place with a blank expression on her face. She stared at me with wide eyes.

"Let me ask you Janet, why do you hate yourself so much?"

I knew immediately I had stepped over the line with that question, and I knew it before I asked too. But I didn't care. She needed to be told off, because I'm sure no one ever had before.

Life quickly returned to Janet; as soon as she had heard my last comment, her eyes blazed with a hatred I've never seen in anyone's eyes ever. Not even my own mother's believe it or not.

"Spread out." She hissed to her group. They obeyed a little warily –and for that I was glad. At least I'd made an impact on them.

It looked like Janet had this planned out a while ago… or at least before this. I don't think they did this to too many people, and they looked like professionals as they formed a circle around me, like they had before when they gang beat me. I closed my eyes and sighed, causing a ripple of pains. _Why me, right now?_ I didn't bother calling out to Damian or anyone. No one needed to be involved in this. I would only cause trouble for them. I kept my eyes closed, waiting for the blows.

The first one, one of the people that encircled me pushed me forward roughly into another person.

"Ahh…" I hissed. It hurt like hell, and I was desperately trying to keep myself from crying out.

Then that person pushed me over to another person.

"Mmmm…"

Then that person pushed me over to the next person. They pushed me across to the next person, always diagonally. I kept making aching, painful sounds, but no one stopped. I guess no one had a heart. The rate they pushed me at kept getting faster and faster, and harsher and harsher… until little screams started erupting from me, and I began to hyperventilate. The pain had started to become absolutely unbearable.

Then the last shove came, because my body finally gave out on me. I hit the floor with a sharp thud, and that's when my body had really had enough. My breathing came in rough and ragged, and I found that I couldn't get any air to my lungs. I began choking; my head pointed upward gasping frantically for air. Suddenly through my urgent sounds for air, I heard the squeaky retreat of sneakers, and sharp surprised breathing.

"Oh! Leave me alone, I'm warning you…"

Then I heard… growling?

"How dare you!" Someone shrieked in a normally calm voice. The voice now seethed and boiled over with raw anger. It almost scared me… but I was too preoccupied with trying to get oxygen to my lungs. My arms wrapped around my rib cage, and I writhed on the floor despite the gut-wrenching pain I was enduring. I would be screaming my lungs out if I could.

All of a sudden I heard a sickening crack, and something hit the floor hard.

"Eeekkk! Ack! Wha di you do to mi?" I heard Janet speaking as if she were drunk. Her words were slurred.

I was still fighting to breathe. And it wasn't coming any easier. I would die soon if I didn't get any air. I could feel it. Cold washed over me, and I saw white stars and firecrackers popping all over my vision; clouding and blurring it in some places. I felt my strength diminishing…

"Marie! Marie!" Someone was screaming my name. I was writhing less and less, and it felt like the battle was over…

I felt arms curve under me and pull me up the slightest bit from the ground. I knew immediately who it was, and I didn't have the thinking power in my head anymore to be angry that he was here, meddling in my affairs yet again.

I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. They blinked rapidly for a second, and then stayed shut.

"Josie, what am I supposed to do? You know I can't do that… I'm afraid that I'll…" He sounded nervous, extremely frustrated, and angered all at once. I felt like I had missed a part of that conversation.

"Oh move over you big baby. You know you could do it." I felt the arms tighten around me.

"Whatever. We don't have time to argue over that right now. Do what you have to do."

I felt the arms move me to a more flat position. I was barely breathing anymore. It was going to end soon…

"I don't know if we're going to be able to save her Damian… we might have to–"

"No, it's not her time yet. Try CPR." His tone was purposely kept calm, but underneath it shook with anger. There was an incredulous pause, I could sense it, and then I felt ice cold lips at my mouth.

I felt air enter my body, sweet, sweet air… and then the hands started pumping my chest up and down. My eyes popped wide open and my mouth opened wide with a scream so high it was almost silent. I saw that Josie and Damian covered their ears though, and grimace at the sound.

My body fell slack after that, and I completely stopped trying to breathe.

"Call an ambulance!"

I heard Josie shout at what probably were other students. I heard them run away after that, presumably on their way to the office. Josie had probably scared the wits out of them.

"Lift up her sweater."

"What?" I could hear the appalled tone in his voice.

"Just lift up her freaking sweater!" I could almost hear the glower in her voice.

A short pause later I felt the parts of my skin that weren't wrapped in material exposed to the open air. If I hadn't only been half conscious right now, like I was I would've slapped their hands away, and maybe give Josie a smack upside the head. But I could hear my heart slowing. There wouldn't be enough time…

"Hold on Marie…" Damian whispered fiercely and sadly in my ear, as if he could hear my thoughts.

"Not her time, eh? If you don't do it now…"

"No it's not… trust me." His tone got angrier.

"Whatever you say. I need to see the wound… unwind that bandage." This time he did without complaint. This would be really humiliating for me if I was all there. But it felt like I was having an out of body experience. Was I supposed to hear so clearly when I was dying?

I felt the last of the bandage being unwound, and then I heard what I'd expected. A surprised, disgusted sounding 'Ugh.'

But I only heard one. In the next second I felt a hand stroke my face softly, the cool fingers feeling nice on my now hot skin…

"What happened to you?" He whispered. That's when I think my heart gave out.


	5. Chapter 5: Reconsiderations

**I know this is long overdue -sorry:P Anyway, enjoy! :) **

**-darkvampire **

Chp. 5: Reconsiderations

I awoke to the sound of a steady beeping noise, coming from who knows where. And my brain was immediately put into over drive, trying to remember what had happened. Where was I? And what was that annoying beeping sound?

Finding my eyes, I cracked them open slightly, and was almost blinded by whiteness. It took me a second to adjust my eyes before I saw everything very clearly. This room was all too familiar to me.

The sun shining brightly through a crack in the blinds that covered the windows, the pure and boring white colour of the room, the curtain that separated my bed from someone else's view, all the monitors… it was easily recognized as a hospital room. I sighed as I realized that, and cringed only slightly. Almost all my pain had vanished.

I glanced around my not-so-new surroundings for a moment longer, and then closed my eyes. It seemed like they always had this room on reserve for me or something, because every time I had to make a trip to the hospital, I would be put in this room.

Now it was time to piece together events that I'd forgotten… because I didn't exactly remember how I'd gotten here. It was all one big blur. I recalled everything up to a certain point. I remembered being ticked off with Damian, and walking away from him. After that, I'd no idea what had happened.

I made a frustrated sound as I tried to pull more out of my memory, but I couldn't.

Suddenly there was a sharp knocking on the door, which scared me half to death and made the heat monitor beep like crazy.

The someone who had been knocking flew in through the door, without my consent, and appeared in front of my bed. My jaw fell slack for a short second before it tightened. I just could not believe my eyes. It was _Damian_. Why on earth would he be coming to visit me in the hospital? My cheeks flushed tomato red, and my heart beat sped up. I had no idea why, but I just felt extremely embarrassed and awkward, and many other emotions that I'd never experienced all at the same time before… It was almost overwhelming for a second or two.

For some reason he smiled a genuine smile with only a hint of relief. Finally, he wore an almost non-worried and or serious expression. It was a relief to _me_ to see that.

"Hello. I'm sorry for barging in on you like that –I thought something happened."

I almost smiled at that. It was actually something different than, 'are you okay?' I'd definitely had enough of that to last a lifetime. And he knew it now.

"That's okay –no worries. So what are you doing here exactly…?"

His smile fell, but didn't disappear off his face. It looked more or less like a content smile.

"Well, I volunteered to bring you your homework over the next little bit, while you heal…"

I grimaced at that. Once he saw my expression, he opened his mouth to talk, and I knew what was coming so I had to hold up a hand to stop him.

"Never mind, don't tell me yet. I don't particularly want to be in a bad mood right now, so wait until you leave or something, all right?"

He laughed lightly, and his grin widened. I guess we were both in good spirits for the moment, despite the fact that I was still broken and would probably need more morphine soon. It was unusually hard for me to resist that smile, even though it came so rarely. I could definitely see why all the other girls –and maybe even a few adult females– would swoon at almost the mere sight of him.

"So did you just wake up?"

I nodded.

"Yes, pretty much. I was up maybe a minute before you got here." His lips tightened a bit as I said that, and he smiled with dark humour.

"Well I guess that's good, because I was going to apologize for not getting here sooner, but Janet saw me passing her room on my way up, and she was on her feet waving and yelling for me in a heart beat…"

My eyes widened.

"_Janet's_ here? Why is she here too? She's not near this room is she? She could have come and strangled me in my sleep… suffocated me with a pillow. I have no idea how long I was out for, too…"

The first part and the third part were serious, and had a nervous edge to the words. Damian laughed though.

"I guess you don't remember a whole lot about what happened, do you?"

I raised an eyebrow. Wasn't it so obvious?

"I'll take that as a no." He snickered. I wondered why he was in such a good mood.

Then I stared at his unmoving form, still standing at the edge of my bed, and kept an eyebrow raised. His legs must be getting tired by now; he hadn't moved a muscle except in his face for a few minutes now.

"Do you want to sit down, and explain to me what happened?" I inclined my head slightly to the uncomfortable looking low plastic chair beside my bed. He shrugged, and made his way to the chair gracefully. I don't think I'd ever seen anyone move so fluidly, except perhaps Josie and I really didn't know about Chris. He never really bothered with me, except when I would trip or do something else to humiliate myself. And I didn't bother with him either –I'd tried not to be involved with any of them. But it seemed fate wouldn't let me have my way, unless I conjured up some ingenious plan.

As soon as he was seated I asked him to begin.

"Where do you want me to begin?"

"When I walked away from you –after I came out of the bathroom."

He grimaced at the memory, and shook his head.

"I don't know why you just didn't tell me. I still don't even really know what happened." He muttered. I sighed.

"I'll tell you if you tell me, all right? Now please tell me what happened." His lips turned up at the corners a little, and he shook his head.

"Whatever you want, Marie. Okay… well, after you left, I went to find Josie. I circled the school before I heard you down the hall, choking. I ran down to see what was happening, and I saw you on the floor, squirming and flopping side to side like a dying fish. I ran over to you, and Josie had already punched Janet in the nose. That's why Janet's here now –she has a broken nose."

It took all of me to restrain myself from laughing.

"_Josie_ punched _Janet_ in the nose?" He nodded, chuckling under his breath. My eyes widened as I thought of Josie, small little graceful Josie punching someone and breaking their nose. She looked like a twig that could be snapped in half –not someone who with one punch could break someone's nose.

"Josie's a little powerhouse for her size, I guess?" He nodded, beaming at me. I couldn't control my answering smile –something clouded my judgment. I would be very angry with myself about this later, but I couldn't care right now. I just wanted to revel in the moment while it lasted.

"We called an ambulance and rushed you to the hospital soon afterward –you almost died in my arms."

My mouth slackened, and I stared at him wide mouthed before I had enough sense to shut it. I truly didn't know what was happening to me –I was fluctuating between showing emotion, and not showing emotion. I would think that I was enjoying myself in one moment, and in the next I was doubting myself, and thinking that I shouldn't be enjoying this. I really did need to take some time to set my new emotions straight –or at least stick to one reaction. I would use the time I would be healing to do that. I sighed as I thought of that long period of boredom, and he stared at me curiously, as if he were trying to read my mind.

"What is it?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes.

"I was just thinking of how long I would have to stay here –I've been here plenty of times to know that it gets very boring if you have to stay for awhile."

The longest I'd ever been here for was two weeks, because they had to keep me under observation for a bit after I'd played in a stream and got tons of glass caught in my legs when I had been five. There were still faint little scars left over from that. That stream could've been contaminated at the time, so I was kept under observation to prevent contracting an infection.

He grimaced only slightly, but I could see the contentedness in his marvellous eyes, which looked on the darker side today… almost black, barely any trace of green left. I looked at his eyes, a little puzzled for a second before I decided it didn't really matter.

The corners of his lips pulled up again.

"Well, I don't think you'll be that bored… you'll most likely be sleeping that whole time, and when you're not, Josie and I are going to visit you."

I looked away from him to the side, a little embarrassed. I don't know why, but it just didn't seem right, or normal, that someone would come and visit me while I was staying here. Even my own mother didn't come see, me, and she was usually the one who put me here.

"Umm, you know, you don't have to…" He smirked at me.

"We know we don't have to –but we are, so don't argue."

I knew that this was a stupid question to ask, but I wanted to know why Chris wouldn't come. It didn't particularly seem like Chris had any friends at school and the only people he had to hang out with were Josie and Damian. So why wouldn't he come to? Even though he probably didn't like me too much… I hadn't a clue why…

"So I take it Chris isn't coming." He nodded, and sighed as I looked at him from under my lashes.

"No he's not –he's kind of angry with me right now."

I frowned and cocked my head to the side.

"Why is that?"  
"Well, I'm not really so sure myself… there could be lots of reasons." That made me even more confused.

"How could there be a lot of reasons? I've never seen you do anything that would antagonize anyone… especially Chris."

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"You've seen things that I've done to you that have antagonized _you_. It's all about how you perceive things, and what you know."

I opened my mouth to ask him what I wasn't seeing, but then someone interrupted me by knocking on the door.

"Excuse me? Ms. Alexander? It's time for your pill."

I gritted my teeth in frustration, and nodded. The morphine from the last one most likely was wearing off, and the pain was returning. But that meant I would fall asleep in a matter of minutes, when it started working.

I looked at Damian remorsefully, and he only nodded, a resigned smile on his face. He then proceeded in getting up. From down on the bed, he seemed very tall; he towered over me as I looked up at him.

He looked at me seriously.

"We will carry on our conversation later." He promised me. I sighed, and let my head drop dramatically. I could see his brilliant grin from behind my veil of hair.

"Good afternoon." He said politely to the nurse. She had to blink a couple times before she could think straight, yet alone move. Then she smiled slyly at him, and winked. I could see him repress a shudder.

"Have a pleasant day, sir…" She muttered in an attempt to make it sound seductive. I had a hard time trying not to vomit.

Damian looked back at me one last time, and then parted. His eyes showed reluctance to go.

I looked back at the nurse, who stared at him as he exited the room. As if she knew I was watching her, she turned around and gave me a pretty fake smile. I glowered at her. How dare she think about him like that –a boy who was most likely twenty years younger. Her smile faltered, and she gulped before she made her way to my bed.

"Good evening Marie… So who was that? Your brother?" I could've laughed or punched her in the face. But I just kept glaring at her darkly. I most likely appeared to be evil.

"No. He's…he's…" I was putting something together in my head, but I didn't want to look ridiculous. But I did want to keep the older women off of his back. And there was only one sure fire way I could do that… I just had to make them believe, and if he ever found out, tell him the truth –that I just wanted the old perverted ladies to mind their own bees wax.

"He's my boyfriend." I said confidently. Her eyes popped wide, and she almost dropped the pill she was holding.

"Oh… uh… oh." She stated, and I had to repress my smile. In addition to avoiding the gross encounters with these women, I would also be able to see them falter and be totally surprised and embarrassed when they found out he was my 'boyfriend'. But as if… as if meaning I was way out of his league. He was the most beautiful person I'd seen ever besides Josie, and there was no way I could ever compare.

"Well, I'm glad someone is here for you." She smiled, and the emphasis in her voice was the only thing that gave away her comment was false. I nodded, and kept my expression rather blank. I shouldn't be getting snippy with the nurses… after all, they _were_ the ones who were caring for me. And that led me to something I'd forgotten. I gasped, and squeezed my eyes tightly at the pain that caused.

The nurse jerked back, eyes wide.

"What is it? Are you uncomfortable taking the pill?" She asked worriedly. Well, at least she was attentive and caring when she was focused on her job.

"Oh, no worries, no worries…. I just remembered that I forgot to ask him –my boyfriend- when I would be getting out of here." My voice faltered at the 'my boyfriend' part. I was never a good liar to begin with, and the coherency of that statement didn't help me any. I couldn't even imagine myself worthy enough for that… I held back a shudder.

"Oh! Oh, well, I'll have to ask the doctor… I guess he's already been talking with the doctor?" She guessed. I shrugged, and motioned for the pill seconds later when the pain was becoming to much to take anymore. I didn't ask before if Damian had been talking with the doctor –all I knew is that he had told me he was going to tell me, but didn't.

I dry swallowed it first, and then drank some water out of a glass she handed me.

"Now just buzz if you need anything more, okay?" I nodded, and added before she could rush out of the room, "Please, if you could, find out as soon as possible when I can leave." She nodded, looking a bit disgruntled before she left the room.

I sighed as I turned my head to look back up at the ceiling. I'd never liked being here. It was too much boredom for the mind to take. Plus, I didn't particularly like being crippled around other people. What could I do if Janet came in here one night, or some other crazy person in this place, and try to strangle me? I couldn't do anything, so it would be better if I was in an environment where I know nothing like that could happen because no one else would be around.

But now it was time to think about how I was reacting to everything. I absolutely hated that I was bouncing in between remoteness and emotion. But I didn't know what to do about it. I couldn't see how I could get back to the way I was –I could just feel inside me that I'd been changed somehow. I'd never felt so much in my life, and all of it was a little much to handle. But the question was what would I do about it? I could try to cut myself off when I needed to –like when I was being crushed by other people. What about in between though? I guess I'd just have to bear it. There were no alternatives that I could see.

I gritted my teeth in frustration. Why did I suddenly come out of my almost catatonic state now? It wasn't fair. But nothing in my life really seemed fair, so what was different about this?

All of a sudden there was a sharp knocking at the door again. For a second, I thought it was Damian and my heart rate sped up. Why would he be back?

But then the doctor flew through the door, looking just as frenzied as Damian when he had entered before.

"Doctor McAlister!" I sighed, taking a deep breath. It was hard to forget a face that you'd known your whole life. But it was noticeable what time had done to him. His once sandy brown hair was sprinkled with grey, and his unnaturally light blue eyes showed his age. He breathed a sigh of relief also, and a relaxed smile set on his wrinkling face.

"You gave me a start there, Marie. I guess you spook easy, eh?" I forced a small smile onto my face and nodded. I wasn't really spooked easy, unless I was distracted at the time, but I wasn't about to let him know exactly why my heart rate went crazy. It was kind of embarrassing even to me, and I hadn't a clue why it had happened.

He brought the chair closer beside my bed, and sat.

"So how are you feeling right now?" I restrained a sigh. I didn't like when people asked me that, but he was a doctor and I was most likely obligated to reply.

"I'm feeling better now that the nurse brought me a morphine pill." He nodded, and one side of his mouth pulled up. I could always tell he was thinking when he did that.

"So do you mind telling me what happened?" I grimaced slightly, trying to remember, and then pick out details I wanted to share then make up a little white lie to go along with those facts.

"Well, my mother went to work last night… if it was last night. How long have I been in the hospital?"

His face hardened a little bit.

"You've been here since yesterday. I'm actually fairly surprised you're awake right now. I thought you'd be out for a while longer." I nodded. Once the morphine started to really kick in soon, I'd be asleep like a baby. I had to make this conversation short and to the point.

"Okay. Well, the night before I came here, my mother was at work and you know how clumsy I am… I fell down my stairs and I think I got knocked out. When I woke up it was probably around four in the morning, and it hurt so badly. My mother wouldn't be home for a couple more hours. I cleaned myself up, and wrapped my ribs with tensor bandage. I thought I'd just bruised my ribs, and that no one should be concerned, so I went to school. My friend just dropped by and told me the rest."

He nodded thoughtfully every once in a while, but his face lit up when I'd mentioned 'my friend'.

"You must mean Damian! Smart kid, he is. Yes, and he did tell me his side of the story also…" He clucked his tongue, and shook his head. But then a smile spread across the wrinkly planes of his angular face.

"He seemed very worried about you. You're lucky you have a friend like him." My jaw locked, but I nodded my head anyway. It seemed like the he and the doctor had had a very interesting, personal chat. I tried to ignore that fact.

"Moving on… we've tried to get a hold of your mother. She's not answering her cell phone. Do you know where she'd be right now?"

I frowned, trying to look convincing.

"She might be working over time." He nodded, but didn't look satisfied.

"What does she do again? She'd had so many jobs over the years… I've lost track." He admitted sheepishly, and plastered an understanding smile on my face.

"Don't worry about it. I don't blame you. She's a flight attendant at the Castlegar airport now. I think she's actually going to stay with this job for awhile –she likes it more than any other so far. She's actually going to a fundraiser for something or other held by the company soon, I think." I tried to give him all the facts I remembered correctly. I was putting an effort into being convincing, since I knew he did not believe that I'd received all my bruises from falling down a simple flight of stairs.

He looked flabbergasted.

"Well…well… wow. I guess your mother's doing well for herself." I nodded, not really too interested in what he was saying about Cynthia. I could feel the pill had started releasing morphine, causing my awry attention span, and it was making me sleepy.

"Yes, I guess. So how long do you estimate I should stay here for?"

His head dropped, and he ran his fingers roughly through his balding, greying hair before her looked back up to me.

"Well, two weeks at least. We'll see how you're healing along the way… if you're healing progressively, then I'll let you go and I'll phone every once in a while to check up on you. But if you're still pretty bad, then I'm going to keep you longer. So don't go on excursions or do any stress provoking activities for now, okay? That means don't walk the halls at night."

I rolled my eyes at him. After all these years, he still remembered that when I was here, and awake at night, I would go for little outings around the hospital. His smile widened.

"Well I have to get going Marie. I'll check up on you tomorrow. And I mean it –don't leave this room till I tell you to, all right?" I breathed a heavy sigh, and nodded. Now all I wanted to do was sleep. He just seemed to keep going on and on…

"All right." He agreed, and stood up. "Have a good night Marie. See you tomorrow." And with that, he left the room and, me to sleep.

x x x

The next morning, I woke up around dawn. The same purplish-pink colour filtered through the window as it had when I'd woken up at my house, feeling more broken than I was now. I was almost fooled into thinking I was at that scene once again until I noticed that the white walls and furniture here were a lot different from my wooden home.

As soon as I'd gotten rid of the grogginess, I expected at any moment that pain would incapacitate me. That was the disadvantage about waking up early in the morning; the nurses hadn't done their rounds yet, thus I wouldn't get morphine for a bit. But surprisingly, I felt very… vital. I probably had more energy than I had had the other day. And the pain was dulled down to a point where I could barely feel it. I frowned, perplexed. Had the nurse snuck in before, and force fed me a pill while I was sleeping? I don't think she would have.

Pulling the blanket tighter around me, I noticed another thing. I was ice cold. It felt like I'd been lying in a snow drift for three and a half hours. The coldest places seemed to be my ribs, oddly enough, because they should be on fire; and my right arm. My arms were tensed, and my back slightly hunched over as I rubbed my arms. I only liked the cold sometimes, when it was refreshing. But the temperature I felt now seemed like I should be getting pneumonia.

This was just a bit too much for me. I had to move, and get warm. At the point where I decided I didn't want to stay here and freeze to death, I'd started to shiver.

Testing myself, I shifted myself over to the edge of the bed, and swung my legs slowly over, bringing my body into a sitting position. I felt little stings of pain everywhere, but otherwise I was numb to the pain I knew should be there, but oddly was not.

I touched one toe to the linoleum floor. It wasn't as cold as I expected it to be. Maybe it was just the same temperature of my half frozen foot, so it didn't matter.

Shrugging slightly, I continued to get up. Nothing went horribly wrong. Nothing hurt. I was almost amazed as I walked across the floor to the other side of the bed, and turned off the heart rate monitor. I ripped off the wires attaching me to the machine, and began my little venture.

The hallway was absolutely barren. It was barely light in the hallway, except for the desks farther down the hall, where I knew there were some nurses on duty. I'd snuck out of my room many times before, and had been caught by them, much to my dismay. So I'd learned alternative escape routes; the staircase at the very far end of the hallway. There was a nurse stationed there usually, but she was in the room across from the staircase, reading a book. So I was never noticed missing until the nurses did their rounds.

I ghosted to the end of the hall, and slipped through the door to the stairway. My steps down the stairs were jarring to my ribs, which told me the relief of whatever it was that was keeping the pain away was dissipating.

Once I was down two flights of stairs, I was on the main floor. The exit was beside the foot of the stairs, on the right.

I stepped silently through the last door, and then I was outside. The air was brisk, and dew hung in the air. That was quite unusual for what season it was… but it was revitalizing, and I appreciated the nice change. I was happy to get the stink of medical supplies –otherwise known as the smell of hospital– out of my nose.

My feet and legs were bare –I only had on my hospital gown. I found that I was still very cold. The weather outside didn't affect me much, even though I could see a lot of the dew on the grass was not dew anymore, but frost. It seemed to be an early fall or something.

Another shiver worked its way through my body, and I began rubbing my arms, holding myself tightly together, and started walking again.

You could see trees almost everywhere. I was tempted to walk through the forest, but I didn't know my way around here, even though I did have a pretty keen sense of direction. So that might not be the smartest idea in the world. I would most likely end up dying if I tried that; either getting lost, never to return; or a bear or mountain lion might eat me. The latter point was the most likely, especially around here.

All of a sudden, I felt something catch on my toe, and I fell face first. I would've done a face plant if I hadn't have caught myself with my arm.

I wasn't paying attention to where I had gone, and now I was all the way behind the hospital, fairly near the trees. I'd walked right into a little clearing of rocks, and I tripped over one of them, and with wide eyes, I realized I'd cut myself with a sharp one too. There was blood oozing from a fairly big gash on my arm, and blood covered most of the rock that had sliced into it.

I inhaled a sharp breath, as a fire ignited my ribs. It surmounted over the stinging sensation of my new wound.

Before I could think of what to do, there was a sharp crack of a tree branch in the woods. My body froze, and I momentarily forgot about the pain. Was something stalking me? Was it going to burst out of the trees at any moment, and devour me?

I heard a few more snaps of branches, the rustle of leaves, and nothing else. I lied there, staring into the woods, still in shock. When I finally came to my senses, although I could not think yet, I rose off the ground. But I still watched the forest, dumbstruck. A shudder unlike the shivers that were caused by the cold rolled up and down my spine.

Someone's hand touched my shoulder all of a sudden, and my heart rate sped up, but I did not scream. That probably would have killed my ribs.

I whirled around to see doctor McAlister, with a cross look set in his ancient features.

"Marie, what in the world are you doing out here? Didn't I tell you to stay in your room till…?" I noticed he looked me over to see if I was all right, and he immediately noted the bleeding gash on my arm that I had pressed into my side. It was staining my light blue gown a crimson colour. His eyes widened, and concern instead of anger was written all over his face.

"Oh my… what happened? We need to get you inside… it's absolutely freezing out here! How can you stand it…?" He stepped beside me and placed his arm around my back so it was not quite touching, but could guide me anyhow. He wore a jacket over top of his dark blue scrubs and white coat –I could feel the heat radiating off if his arm. I didn't flinch away; all I wanted to do was get out of this place, and leave the strange feeling with it.

After I'd gotten everything bandaged up, and I'd had a 'light' talk with the doctor about not leaving my room again, the sun was up and it must have been around ten or eleven. I was really thankful for the morphine pills, although they did not give me the same relief as when I'd woken up. I still couldn't identify what had happened this morning. And it was seriously bugging me, although I kept telling myself to just forget it. At least, I didn't _think_ it was a big deal…

A few hours of solid boredom later, Damian showed up, Josie right by his side. He seemed calm, as usual, but Josie, unlike herself, had a frown and bit her lip anxiously.

That set a frown upon my own annoyed face. What could possibly be bothering her?

"Hello Marie!" Her face lit up, and I couldn't tell if it was fake or genuine.

"Hello guys… how was school?" I sighed. He laughed lightly.

"Oh, it was just spectacular." Josie winked at me, and she pulled him to the chairs beside my bed. I stared at them intently as they sat down.

"Well?" I held out my hand. He raised a brow.

"Well what?" I frowned.

"Where's my homework?" I could tell he almost burst out in laughter. He restrained a smile. I glared at him.

"You haven't been assigned any homework yet. I guess the teachers are taking pity on you." I ground my teeth together, and squeezed my eyes shut. That couldn't be possible. We always, no matter what had homework. And it would be _so_ boring here without something to keep my mind preoccupied.

"Ugh! Are you sure?" His eyebrows furrowed, and he looked at me quizzically, pursing his lips.

"Why do you want homework so badly?" It sounded as if it pained him a little to admit that he did not understand.

"Yah… no one _wants_ homework, do they?" Josie giggled. I sighed.

"Well, it is exceptionally boring here. There is absolutely nothing to do." His face showed understanding, and he smiled.

"Oh, poor muffin! You can survive through a little boredom, can't you? You survived a broken rib, and probably worse." He attempted to elbow her, but she agilely manoeuvred out of the way before he could make contact with her stomach.

I grimaced as I realized I'd never had worse than this.

Sighing, I reached up to push my hair back, so I could see more clearly. And he grimaced as he saw another bandage on my arm. I scowled, and mentally kicked myself. He knew I'd never had that wound before.

"How did that happen?" His jaw locked, and he picked up my bandaged arm. My immediate reaction was to rip my arm away from him, but a calming sensation instantly took that thought away. Even though his hands were ice cold, it felt like morphine had spread through my system, although I was not sleepy –yet. It was probably just the pills kicking in…

"'How can you hurt yourself at a hospital', would be a better question." She smirked at me, and I rolled my eyes.

"It's no big deal. I just went for a little walk, and tripped." He raised a brow again, as if he didn't believe me. But my thoughts were focusing on why he was so cold… He wasn't wearing a jacket, and it was pretty cold out this morning. Maybe he'd been outside for a while, because after all, he didn't come _right_ after school…

"I don't think you should be going for walks." I breathed heavily, trying to calm myself.

"Can you please save the lecture? I have already gotten a lengthy one from my doctor." He chuckled, and kept a hold of my arm. I didn't know why I didn't try to stop him. I didn't even think about it… I just let the release wash over me.

"Well, er, Damian, I think we should go. Remember what we promised Chris we were going to do…?" He closed his eyes, huffed, and then nodded. He let go of my arm, but I still felt the sensation. It _was_ only the drugs…

As if they were in sync, they stood up sinuously. She grabbed his hand, and I saw his slightly pained look. I frowned only a bit.

"Good bye, Marie… we'll be seeing you soon!" She giggled, which immediately made me lost.

"Good bye…" He nodded, and inclined my head as well. Then they were gone.

I heaved a sigh, and leaned back against the pillow. So what was my fate now? Would I remain friends with them, how ever unlikely and probably unethical it was? I didn't know, and I didn't know if I cared yet. He had brought me out of the darkness. Whether I was going to stay here or not was unknown. All I did know is that whatever happens, I would most likely be changed for the rest of my life.


	6. Chapter 6: Connections

Chp 6: Connections

I was in the same dark alley. It was dark, and as before, I walked behind the man and we got closer and closer to the street lamp ahead. A little paranoia was about me, because subconsciously I knew what was going to happen.

We reached the light, and I saw the horrifying eyes that set a primal instinct off. My lips rose, showing my teeth, and I let out a hair rising growl. This time the man grabbed me around the middle, restraining me, and spoke softly in my ear, "No, don't…" It was extremely hard to resist the voice, but even harder to resist the call.

I ripped out of his arms, and met the giant beast who was emerging out of the darkness. It sprang, and we met in midair, biting, ripping and snarling.

"Marie!" The man shouted in a pained voice. The claws on the creature ripped a whole down my side, and I fell to the ground where it pinned me. I bit its paw as I tried to keep its jaws away from me, and it yelped. Compared to how enormous it was, I should have been powerless. But I was fighting back with a vengeance, even though I could tell I was overpowered.

"_No!" _

A pack of wolf-like creatures surrounded me at the exact moment the one on top of me finally pinned my arms.

My eyes flew open, and the first things I heard were the loud sound of hyperventilation and the too-fast, erratic beeps of the heart rate monitor.

Besides the chaos that was happening with me, I could hear the slamming of the door to my room.

"Get the doctor in here, now!" Someone shouted, and I felt several people pin my arms and legs down as I began to flail. This did not help my condition one bit. It felt exactly like my dream.

"_No! Let me go!_" I shrieked. That was when I felt the sharp sting in my arm, and within ten seconds my energy completely disappeared, and I passed out.

This only happened a few times over the course of two days. The dreams scared me half to death, and I had no idea why they happened, or what they meant. I'd talked to the doctor after I'd woken up every time. I only told him that it was a bad dream, and that I had forgotten it by now. He didn't seem convinced, but didn't press me to tell him more.

Also, I didn't tell Damian or Josie anything at all about my dreams. Every time they came, I just kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to worry them –especially him.

He –they– would be here soon. At least, I hoped. They were a few hours late and visiting hours were almost out, so I didn't know if they were coming at all. And I was just hoping, very desperately at that, if they did come, that they would have homework for me to do. I needed something to distract me.

I tried to think of a subject other than them, or my dreams. I searched my mind for something. It took me a few moments, but I finally remembered something the doctor had mentioned. He'd taken me into have an x-ray, and he was shocked at how well I was healing. It had only been about a two weeks (I would be let go soon), and it looked well into a few months healed. He was astounded, and agreed to let me go in a few days. I was very happy, despite the fact I'd had to spend my whole entire time here doing nothing. The teachers really had taken pity on me, even though it wasn't like pity to me.

The doctor was worried about my nightmares though. He said if they continued, I might hurt myself when I woke up. I'd almost had a panic attack the last time it had happened. That why he told me that if they continued until the time I left, he was going to subscribe me to a sleeping pill that would allow me to sleep through the night, dream free.

"Marie? Can we come in?" I knew the voice right away, and I subconsciously smiled.

"Yes."

Josie and Damian entered, and a smile appeared on their own faces as they saw mine. I still had no idea what was getting into me when I acted this way.

"How are you feeling today?" Josie asked me politely. I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

"Tired." I'd only gotten about four or five hours of sleep… the drug they used to knock me out only lasted an hour, and before I woke up from my dream I fell asleep a few hours before because I was afraid to fall asleep.

His mouth pulled into a grimace.

"Yes… the doctor told me about everything." I sighed, and cursed the doctor for telling him. Why would he do that? Damian didn't need to know what was going on with me…

Josie elbowed him, and shot him a serious look, before grinning back at me.

"But the good news is you're healing rapidly fast! Dr. McAlister is amazed at how quickly and well you're healing… he's never seen anything like it." The latter part of her sentence was emphasised a little more, and I frowned at her, puzzled. She winked at him, and he rolled his eyes. Was I missing something here?

But then he _had_ to change the subject.

"And the doctor was also telling me about your dreams. He says that you can't remember them when you wake up, and he's worried that he's going to have to start subscribing you sleeping medication."

I was getting a little more than agitated now. And that was a shame… I'd been doing so well not getting angry with him.

"Damian, as I've told you so many times now, don't be worried about me. They're stupid dreams that I will eventually get over. After all, I've just been through the trauma of falling down the stairs, remember? Something could have loosened or come undone in there," I pointed to my head, my sarcasm lightening my mood the slightest bit.

He grimaced, and Josie managed to plant an elbow into his ribs. It thumped loudly, and sounded like it hurt. But he was fine, and looked at her seriously. She shrugged her shoulders, and began to walk away. I stared after her, surprised.

"Where are you going?" She turned with a little smile on her perfect lips.

"I have to go pick Christopher up… I'll be back within a half hour or so. All right?"

He nodded, and she left, waving goodbye as she exited through the door.

He smiled sarcastically.

"I'm stranded here with you till she gets back." One half of my mouth pulled up into a lopsided smile.

"Oh what a misery this will be for you." He raised a brow, keeping the same expression. But then it turned into a grimace again. My expression immediately disappeared off my face. 'What a misery this will be for me,' I rethought.

"I don't believe you fell down the stairs, Marie. Neither does the doctor. How could you have gotten so many bruises from falling down one flight of stairs?"

I remained silent, looking him in the eye. From here, I could see he his eyes were actually a deep green rather than the black I had thought they were.

His mouth was taught, and he stared into my eyes with determination. I was tempted to look down at the blanket, my feet at least, but it would have been a bigger indication than any other that I was lying.

I could not tell anyone my secret. Even if I did trust him a little bit, I couldn't trust anyone with the truth about my life.

After a few minutes of a staring contest, I had to blink and look away. It seemed no matter what I wasn't going to win this one –that much I could see in his eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Where else could I have gotten my bruises?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm waiting for you to tell me." I glared at him. He sighed, and raked his hands through his hair.

"Marie, there is just no logical explanation of how you had fallen down the stairs and received so many injuries. Please just tell me what really happened?" I continued to glare at him.

"Please Marie. If you want me to help you, than you have to tell me what really happened." I swear that comment ignited a fire in me. I felt icy hot fire engulf my head, and I glowered at him.

"What on earth makes you think that I would want help from you? Everything that I've done gives the significant impression that I want nothing but you to leave me alone to my own business."

His expression changed –his eyes now pleaded with me. It took me off balance. My resolution wavered.

"Please… I've been through the same thing, Marie. I know what it's like. Just tell me the truth. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain." He moved closer to me from where he was standing at the foot of my bed. He walked half way down the right side of my bed, and stopped to look down at me.

My eyes popped wide.

"Someone abuses you too?" But I covered my mouth as soon as I'd said it. My shock at what I had just given away overpowered any emotion. At that moment I'd thought that someone was abusing him too, which for some reason my brain would not tolerate and that's why I'd slipped up and said something compromising. Unfortunately I'd blurted that out before my brain could put together that he was most likely not abused, because of how insanely white and pure his skin was. There wasn't a bruise or blemish to be seen on his flawless skin.

His eyes widened, and his mouth fell open slightly. But I could see metallic anger flash in his eyes.

"Who was it…?" He mumbled. I shook my head vigorously, while glaring at him. I can't believe I'd let him con me into admitting what he'd wanted to hear.

"I've already said way too much. Never mind, Damian. As I've said so many, many times before, I can take care of myself, and you need to mind your own business."

He sat down on my bed, and leaned down so he could take my shoulders. As he laid his hands on me, I felt a familiar sense of calm and refreshment. Suddenly I forgot all about my pain; though there was barely any to begin with. It felt like I'd never been hurt in the first place. I hadn't felt this in quite a long time –I'd always had at least the sting of a bruise. It seemed every time he touched me I forgot about absolutely everything.

He stared deep into my eyes, making me lose my concentration on the situation. I didn't think I even remembered what was happening anymore…

"Please, Marie… just tell me. You don't need to be worried about anything. Tell me who hurts you… please." His whole being tampered with my thought processes, and I was hopelessly compelled to tell him the truth. But what would he do? And in turn, how would that decision affect me?

I bit my lip.

"Please?" He pleaded again. My heart was thumping hard, almost as if it were telling me something –that it was the right thing to do was to tell him the truth. But my head battled with the concept, keeping a constant string of cons that swirled around my head and kept me silent.

"Can you keep a secret?" The most childish thing I could say at the moment, and I had to blurt it out. I could've said something much more stable, but I just couldn't make my thoughts turn into words…

He nodded –eagerness being the main emotion in his eyes. He then lowered his head very close to mine, and turned his head so I could whisper in his ear. I had a hard time keeping my breathing regular; I might have been on the point of hyperventilation. I couldn't make sense of this scene and then think of how weird this was… I guess because all my very old emotions that had resurfaced were taking over now. This was all too much, a whole new experience…

I opened my lips to speak.

"It's–"

"Mr. Forrester! Visiting hours are over…"

As the nurse entered the room, and saw Damian pushing my shoulders down into the pillow and half sitting half hovering above me, her cheeks went a rosy red colour and she began to stammer.

"Oh… I'm so sorry, Marie… Mr. Forrester. But Marie needs some sleep now, you have to go… I'm sorry." Her eyes were wide while she watched Damian's reaction. He sighed, and turned his head towards mine, so that our noses almost touched. I took in a shallow breath.

"Well then we'll continue this later," He promised me, with a sincere look. But then calm spread across his face, and there was a soft look to his dark eyes. "Sweet dreams, Marie..." He breathed. I could only nod a goodbye, and stare at him without words as he gracefully pushed himself off the bed, and walked past the nurse.

"Good evening, ma'am." She gave a nod back, and joined me in watching him leave the room.

When I felt that his presence, and affect on me was totally gone, I began to be angry with myself. How could I have let him sway me into thinking like that? I'd almost told him the truth. I'd almost given him the key to my death. If I had told him, and then if Cynthia had ever found out that I had told him, she wouldn't just beat me _half_ to death… Why did he want to know so bad anyway? He didn't need to know. He didn't need to pry into my life. But what could I do about it? Telling him wouldn't do a thing, although it probably would if I got really angry, which hadn't happened yet. Why couldn't I just get really angry and tell him off?

"Here Marie… it's time to take your pill." She said in a gruff voice. I frowned, and tried to find if there was pain anywhere around my body… but I couldn't find any. All I could come up with was my frustration and anger with Damian. That's all I felt at the moment.

Shaking my head, I told her that I didn't need the pill. After a bit of a struggle convincing her I didn't need it, she left me alone –to my thoughts. And soon after, sleep.

The next few days passed by very quickly. The periods where I was awake, I would think of how much of an idiot I had been, and I promised myself that I would never come that close to telling anyone ever again. It was a pretty good thing he didn't pester me about it, either, because I might've exploded on him. But Damian didn't try to pick up our conversation from where we left off anyway, because Josie was there. It appeared that he had been and was trying to coax her to leave the room, but she would shut him down. Thus, he would get very angry. He'd probably already told her that he wanted to talk to me privately for a moment, but she wouldn't listen. I knew Josie enough from the last two months or so to understand that she liked to be in on things. Nothing was too horrible, too embarrassing, or too secret for her to hear.

I was thankful for this stubbornness, or else I would have to face him again, alone. I didn't know if he would pull his charm on me again or not, and I didn't particularly want to find out.

After I was done mulling over possible ways to deal with Damian, and when I got over my anger, I had time to focus on what my dreams meant. They occurred more frequently now, and I was glad Damian had stopped worrying about me. It seemed he had done a full withdrawal, and now he wouldn't mention anything at all about how I and my health were. For the most part I was relieved, and even more relieved that he seemed more relaxed now. When he'd first arrived here, there was absolutely no expression whatsoever on his face. But it seemed almost whenever I saw him now, his face was tense, and worried. The norm expression on his face had been stoic, as it was now, so I believed he was all right now for the most part. It might have been a bigger relief than was necessary, but I disregarded it.

Today was the day I would be released, and I was so happy because of that. Now I could be somewhere else while being bored. A change of scenery would be helpful… Looking at the same plain walls and furniture was very monotonous indeed.

Dr. McAlister would be here soon… soon I would be free. I wondered if Cynthia was going to pick me up, or someone else would have to drive me home. She hadn't been in to visit me the whole two weeks, and some odd days, I'd been here for. This was normal, but annoying at the same time since I had to wonder how I would be getting out of here. True, I could probably walk pretty far, but I don't think I'd be able to walk twenty kilometres or more in the state I was in…

There was suddenly a light tap on the door, and this time I wasn't surprised and the heart rate monitor did not go crazy. A pretty good sign, I thought sarcastically…

"Come in."

The doctor entered the room with a fairly wide smile on his face. My lips turned up half heartedly in response.

"Good day, Marie. Are you glad you're getting out today?"

I turned my head to the side so he couldn't see my expression, and muttered under my breath, "Yeah, you have no freaking idea…"

He continued without hearing me, "I have your x-rays here. As you can see, the break is healing quite nicely… as I've said before, it's absolutely astounding how quickly you're healing. At the rate you're going, I'd say it will only take a couple more months to heal, if you take good care of it. But, I have to say this even what's happening to you is good, this is very abnormal. It would normally take a person with a broken rib about a year or more for it to heal, if they took care of themselves. I just can't find a logical explanation for this miracle."

He was wide eyed, and half of his mouth pulled up into a lopsided grin. Well, I was with him on the not understanding part. I had no clue as to why I was healing so fast. It just didn't make sense…

"Say, Marie? Do you mind if I take a blood sample, and do some tests? I would like to understand this phenomenon."

I bit my lip in hesitation as he waited anxiously for my answer.

"Umm… No, sorry doctor… I just wouldn't feel comfortable with that."

He nodded and sighed before a smile appeared on his face again. I swear nothing could get that man down…

"That's all right Marie, I completely understand. Even if I were in your position I wouldn't do it either."

He winked, and I hid behind my hair to roll my eyes. I guess I'd never noticed how different he was before… I realized that now I was living through everything with emotions. I was going to pick up and notice a lot more things now.

"Well, I'll let you be to get dressed. Here are your clothes. They've been washed. And just remember, if you need something just phone the hospital and ask for me, all right? I know how you don't think things are a big deal, but if you start having spasms or extreme pain, that's not good."

Not bothering to cover my face this time, I rolled my eyes then nodded.

"All right doctor. Thank you for everything, and I'll remember that." And with an incline of his head, he left and I began to get up and get ready to go.

As I slipped into my old clothes, I felt like I was out of this place already. When I was done, I walked the halls till I was at the main lobby. I wondered if my mother was going to make me walk… It was about an hour's drive in a car to get here from Salmo. I didn't want to think about how long it would take me to _walk_.

But apparently I didn't need to worry, because Damian was at the desk, chatting with the doctor behind the counter. My eyes widened, and I'm sure I went into shock for a moment. I hadn't expected him to come at all.

As if on cue he turned to see me, standing in the middle hallway entrance of the lobby, gaping at him like an idiot.

A tiny smile appeared on his lips, and he raised a brow.

The doctor did a double take from Damian to me before he realized who Damian was staring at. A grin spread across his face, and I heard him mutter a good bye to Damian. The doctor disappeared, and Damian began to walk towards me. I couldn't bring myself to meet him –I was still too surprised to make my legs work.

He was practically laughing as he got to me, having walked to me in a few seconds with long strides.

"Don't look so surprised… it's almost insulting."

I shook my head a few times, trying to clear it. For some reason, I just couldn't understand why he was here, although I had a pretty good guess, and I couldn't get that through my head either.

"Uhh… sorry… what are you doing here?"

"I came to bring you home…"

I shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"Why, do you want to walk?"

My head shot up, and I shook it vigorously. That would definitely not be fun… I'd probably get eaten by a mountain lion or something. I don't think I'd be able to last two miles… and I had no one else to call for a drive back. The doctor had probably phoned my mother and asked if she could pick me up, which she obviously said no to. She was most likely working… In frustration, I realized that the only way I would be getting home is if I were to drive with him. And then with a sigh, I began walking towards the door. Even though I began walking without him, he caught up easily and maintained my pace. I stopped as I reached the small parking lot, not knowing where his car was…

I looked up to his emotionless face for an answer.

He reached out to hold onto my arm lightly, and guide me to where he was parked…

When we reached a shiny black car, and he unlocked it, I was astounded. On the back was written in tiny neat silver writing 'Eclipse' and on the front was the symbol for Mitsubishi. It was the nicest car I'd ever seen…

He smirked at me.

"What?"

I stood almost open mouthed.

"What do you mean 'what'? This is an amazing car… I can't believe I didn't notice it before in the parking lot… It stands out from every other car I have ever seen."

One side of his mouth pulled up.

"This is Chris's car… we all share it. And we don't usually take it to school, just because it's a standout." I nodded in agreement. Everyone had probably seen nice cars on TV, but never seen one in real life. They would be fawning over it…

"Are you going to get in? Or am I going to have to drag you."

I realized with embarrassment that I had zoned out, and was still gaping over the car while he sat inside, looking at me expectantly. My face set with a grimace, I walked over to the other side of the car, where the door was open, ready for me to climb in.

I sat bolt upright in the leather seats when I got in. I didn't feel right in someone else's car. He shot a concerned glance my way as he started the engine. It was quiet –a background noise, barely noticeable.

"What's the matter?"

He asked e as he reached for the knobs that controlled the heater and radio.

"Nothing… Never mind." I sighed. A frown appeared on his perfect face, and his lips were pursed as if he wanted to say something. But he obviously thought better of it, because he said nothing.

He fiddled with the controls until he found a modern rock station with a good song playing. It turned out to be one of my favourites… a song by the Neverending White Lights. As I stared out the black tinted windows, I found myself relaxing every passing second. What added even more to that, and what also astounded me, he began to hum along to it. He knew the band… That shouldn't surprise me, but all the same, I was shocked that he liked the same music.

"Do you know them well?"

I couldn't help myself as the question spilled out of my mouth. He glanced over at me, with an eyebrow raised.

"The Neverending White Lights? Yes… Josie had a thing with them for awhile, and she got me hooked on them. It's just very calming music…"

I nodded, and the song ended, only to be replaced by another amazing, calm song, which kept me relaxed. Every song that came up, we both seemed to know, even if it was by the most elusive band. And then we were both surprised that the other person knew that band. It was almost like a competition when we were half way to my house…

And also, by then, I felt almost comfortable. This provoked me to ask a question that had been on my mind for quite some time now. And I didn't know if I'd ever be this comfortable, or get a chance to ask him again. I cleared my throat quietly, and his eyes shot to my face. I was already getting nervous.

"Damian…"

He turned is head all the way to face me. My eyes widened, and I glanced between him and out the windshield.

"While I talk, please watch the road so we don't get hit. Or let me drive, either way." His head moved slowly to face the road again, and I let out a sigh of relief before I began again.

"Damian… There is something I want to ask you."

I saw in his eyes that he really wanted to turn to look at me, but just settled for staring at me from the sides of his eyes. I let out a little groan of nervousness, but kept going. Somehow I trusted him not to get us killed while driving and not looking. He seemed perfectly comfortable…

"Why are you so concerned with what happens to me? I mean, you are always so involved with my life… I don't understand why."

He sighed and looked away from me back to the road before he answered.

"I'm your friend, Marie. I don't want anything to happen to you. I, myself, don't understand why you are treated so horribly…"

His hands tightened on the steering wheel, so his knuckled protruded even more prominently out of his hands, and turned an even milkier white colour than his skin already was. His jaw was tight, and it seemed like a permanent grimace was set on his face. My eyebrows rose, and I felt like I was very small all of a sudden. I'd never seen him angry before… but this didn't seem like angry. More like frustrated. He wasn't the type of person to get angry, ever. He barely ever showed emotion…

"Which brings us back to what happened to you. Marie, tell me who it was. Please."

His voice was forceful, the ending was more pleading. My eyes tightened, and my jaw locked. I didn't want to fall for this again. This was a death trap, and I began regretting even asking him. But this was probably inevitable anyway… He'd probably planned on asking me sometime on this drive.

"Why can't you just take no for an answer…"

I asked him in a hopeless tone. I looked over at him, where he was now fully looking at me, his face full of seriousness and pleading. His eyes did a number on me… it felt like they were looking deep inside me, searching for an answer. It sent tiny chills through my body.

There was no way out of this, I figured. He would just keep pestering until I told him. And there was no way to avoid him… I would not go out of my way to avoid an over concerned boy who kept bothering me. I sighed as he broke through my reason and will.

"You won't tell anyone will you? Because I will be dead meat if you ever told anyone… seriously, I'm not joking around. I would be murdered."

I saw him flinch slightly, but other than that he showed no emotion. He nodded for me to go on.

I took a deep, ragged breath, closing my eyes. I gripped the sides of the seat so hard my tendons stuck out.

He removed one of his hands that he had clamped on the steering wheel, and placed it onto mine. He slowly loosened my fingers and held my hand tightly. I gritted my teeth, and my jaw locked. I took short breaths. This was so unbelievably hard for me to admit…

He stroked my hand to calm me down, and it worked for the most part. I took one last breath before I whispered, "It was Cynthia… My mother."

His eyes widened, and he sucked in a sharp breath.

Suddenly he slammed on the brakes, causing cars behind him to do the same, and the there was a chorus of beeps and honks from the cars behind us.

I stared at him with wide eyes as he began driving again. He drove a little farther till we turned and parked far down a back road. He said nothing as we went. He still said nothing after we'd sat in silence for a few minutes after we'd parked. I stared at him the whole time. It seemed he could say nothing. It looked as if he were battling with keeping something inside right now. That much I could see from his eyes, and his hands were clenched on the steering wheel again.

"Your… mother…"

I nodded, not taking my eyes off him. What was going on in his head right now? I was still so surprised about his reaction; I could say nothing as well.

"How could… why would… she…" He choked out.

I watched him in awe, as he threw his head back against the seat and shut his eyes tightly. I didn't know what to do. I just sat there, watching him in astonishment.

"Why are you like this right now? How could what happened to me affect you like this?"

I managed to whisper.

He turned his fierce eyes towards me, and I could see he was trying to calm himself. He began loosening his fingers from the wheel.

He didn't answer my question, although I think I knew the answer because he'd already told me.

"I can't bring you back to your house with her there. How could she do that? And why? How long has she been doing this to you?"

I bit my lip as questions began raining down on me. Well, I'd spilled the beans now, so there really was no reason why I couldn't tell him the rest. I just hated to burden people with these problems that should remain my own, but he insisted on making them his problems also and he would persist till he got what he wanted. So I would just have to tell him.

"I don't know why she is like that. I've never done anything to provoke her to do what she does. Or maybe not… I think it was because I was born. She's always said I was her mistake,"

He gritted his teeth as I spoke, and it made me not want to say anything more. But I continued in my story.

"And she has been doing this to me since I was five. My father prevented some things, but now that he's dead there's nothing to stop her, and she's _really_ been enjoying it."

He exhaled loudly, and my jaw locked, and indication that I would say no more about it.

"I'm not taking you back there."

My eyes widened and then narrowed on his face.

"Oh yes you are. I have no other place to stay, as you could imagine. That hellhole is my home, and the only place I live in. So, unfortunately, I'm telling you that you must take me back there."

His eyes tightened.

"I will not have you go back to a place where you will only have to go _back_ to the hospital."

I sighed heavily and clenched my fists.

"Damian, she will not do it again soon. If she knows I'm really hurt she won't hurt me again until I'm mostly healed. I can fake it around home for awhile… Besides, as long as I don't get in trouble at school for awhile again, I won't get hurt this bad ever again. Usually she'll just give me some minor bruises but–"

He glared at me as he cut me off.

"I told you already I don't want you hurt anymore, even if it's–"

I silenced him by putting a finger over his lips. He seemed really surprised, and jerked away immediately. I sighed. I knew even if he was a 'friend' no one could really stand me…

"_But_ nothing major like what she has done recently has happened before. This was my first time really getting in trouble at school. That's probably all it was, Damian. I just have to avoid doing that again, and hamming up my injuries around her. Don't worry, I know all the tricks with her, and you certainly don't have to be concerned if she gives me a simple _bruise_. Just take me home… I promise I'll get myself out of there the next time she decides to beat on me."

I could see he was having trouble accepting that, and that he was battling with my plea and his conscience.

I turned my head and looked deep into his eyes, trying to duplicate what he had done to me a few times now.

"Please Damian?"

He took a deep breath and frowned before he turned the key in the ignition. I let out a sigh of relief, and relaxed back into the seat as I looked at him.

He paused before he turned around though.

"You have to promise you will get yourself out of there if she even tries to lay a hand on you. You have to get yourself somewhere safe."

I nodded as his eyes penetrated mine again –working their magic. How could they affect me like that? It's almost as if it _were_ magic. Nothing like this, I can say for sure, has ever happened to me in my lifetime. The thing was though, I didn't know how to deal with it.

And then we began our drive again, me a little more anxious than before, and him now knowing too much. I knew that knowledge would come back to bite me in the end.


	7. Chapter 7: Unsolvable Mysteries

Chapter 7: Unsolvable Mysteries

We arrived at the house a half hour later. We'd been silent the whole time, only listening to the good music on the radio today. He seemed to focus on nothing but the road now… well, that's at least what his eyes gave away. But I knew he was deep in thought rather than concentrating on driving. I sneaked a peek at him every once in awhile, trying to decipher from his stance where his thoughts had led him. But his face and body language gave nothing away, and I think this is what he wanted. It frustrated me a lot for some reason. I couldn't stand not knowing what he was thinking, and I wanted to ask him the whole time we were driving. But I kept quiet, and tried to keep a poker face of my own. I didn't want to give away that I was irritated that he wouldn't let me in on how he thought of _my_ predicament at home.

I sighed as we pulled up to the house, having driven along my fairly long forest encroached driveway, to find that my mother was home right now. Her very beaten up car was parked in front of the house. Hopefully she was tired from her shift at the airport, and was sleeping. People were always crabby with her, apparently, and it was a requirement of her job that she was to not snap back at them, which she would have in any other situation. That took a lot of effort on her part, and she always came back exhausted and short-tempered. Not that she wasn't always irritable…

Damian turned to me, face still emotionless, although I saw a hint of concern in his eyes.

I breathed in and out slowly. It was time to act really hurt if she was awake. I was planning on going to bed right away myself, even though it was most likely only noon.

"Well, thank you for driving me back. I appreciate it… I'm sure I would not have enjoyed walking."

He nodded.

"Remember what I said, Marie. If anything happens, get out."

I rolled my eyes as an answer.

"All right I'll remember that. Good bye… I'll see you tomorrow I guess."

For some reason, I didn't really want to get out of the car. I wanted to stay with him a little longer, and I didn't want to end up staring at the wall here, trying to get to sleep, and let bad memories and thoughts creep up on me. And now that I thought about it, I didn't want to fall asleep because I knew the dreams would come back. I shuddered as I thought of how irrelevant but frightening they were.

He began looking worriedly at me as I had made no move to get out of the car. I sighed. My mother would never let me go anywhere with anyone anyway, if I ran in to tell her I was going somewhere. And I couldn't just leave and show up hours later. She was most likely expecting me.

"What is it, Marie?"

He asked curiously. I shook my head.

"Never mind, Damian… Bye."

I opened the door, and stepped out onto the gravel. I shut the door quietly, not like I would have if it were my scrap of junk, and watched him pull away. He disappeared quickly into the trees, and as he did, it dawned on me that I hadn't even told him where I live. I quickly disregarded it, unconcerned at the moment, because my mother stepped out onto the porch. This scene felt oddly familiar, except Cynthia didn't have a beat red face this time. I shivered, and bravely walked up the steps, getting closer to the evil creature every step I took. Once I was face to face with her, she who was slightly shorter than me, a sarcastic smile appeared on her pretty face. Her unnaturally blond hair was messy since she'd just taken it out of a tight bun she always wore to work. I hadn't seen her in two weeks… and I think she'd acquired at least a few new wrinkles.

"Well I'm glad to see you back again, Marie… The house hasn't been vacuumed in days!"

I made a sound of disgust, not caring if she heard or not, and rolled my eyes. She was such a pig, she couldn't do it herself. She chose to live in a pigsty while I was at the hospital, because she loved to make me do it. There was probably a lot more to do than vacuum in there, and that's why I thought that… I was basically the maid of the house that she could beat.

"So what's your story?"

I knew immediately what she meant. My lips pursed, and eyes narrowed on her aging face.

"I fell down the stairs."

She made her own sound of disgust, and glared at me. I think she was about to hit me, but she knew I'd just broken a rib.

"You idiot! You couldn't come up with anything better than that? It's not that likely that you could fall down the stairs, break a rib, and get that many bruises… especially on your face, child! Your bruises have only faded slightly, by the way, and you still look like one of these,"

She held up a date, a disgusting blackish purple, dried up, wrinkly, fruit that I didn't know how people could eat. I smirked as she took a bite of it.

"You don't need to tell me mother… It's not like I haven't looked in a mirror unlike you today."

She clenched her teeth, and glared at me before patting me, or rather hitting me, flat on the head with her palm.

"Welcome back Marie, you little ingrate… So you didn't tell anyone, did you? You didn't slip, because of what a stupid, lame excuse you made?"

I shook my head tightly, glowering into her pale hazel eyes. That's where I got how pale of a colour my eyes were… my dad used to have brilliant hazel-green eyes. That was how I ended up with a really light green colour of eyes…

"That's good. Because you know what would happen if you ever did tell anyone… even by accident."

I nodded, not fazed by her threat. She said this almost daily… I was used t it by now.

"Don't worry mother… I didn't tell a soul."

She nodded, but then raised an eyebrow. She wasn't about to give up there, and I almost groaned.

"So who was that with the nice new shiny car, Marie?"

I had to quickly assemble my thoughts. What would I tell her? She didn't want me to have any friends –that was for certain. Friends would be too close to me, thus they would eventually find out our secret. And since I'd never had any friends before, I didn't know what her reaction would be if I told her that the person in the fancy car was my friend.

Coming up with a quick answer, I decided to tell her it was a stranger.

"He was just a nice man at the hospital. He offered to drive me here when he over heard me talking to the doctor about my arrangements on getting home."

She squinted her eyes at me as if she didn't believe me. Crow's feet appeared at the corners of her eyes as she did so.

"Did you happen to catch the man's name? Maybe if I could look him up in the phonebook, I could properly thank him…"

I shook my head briskly. She definitely didn't believe me or she'd just drop the subject.

"No, I didn't, sorry. But I did thank him for driving me, so there's no need anyway."

Her lips pursed tight, and she glared at me until she turned around and walked back into the house. She called over her shoulder just before she entered the house, "Oh, by the way, Marie, in a few days the airport is holding a company party to celebrate the manager's retirement. I'm going, and you can come if you want…" She trailed off, and it appeared she had spaced out. Great, if my mother was going crazy now, and if it ran through the family, the same thing could happen to me in another thirty to forty years or so.

But I let out an almost silent sigh of relief anyway. I'd dodged that one… and it was very close at that. I'd never really lied to her before, so this was a bonus to me. I knew I could lie to her and make it believable if I was angry enough.

A few moments after she'd gone in, I stepped through the door myself. The house's appearance wasn't that dirty, but it wasn't that clean either. Some vacuuming definitely needed to be tended to… the place had a dusty, musty smell now instead of the accustomed cedar smell. I huffed, wanting to get to sleep, but feeling a need to clean up this mess… I groaned as I gave in, and searched for a vacuum. As soon as I was finished cleaning up, I would go to bed.

I vacuumed the whole house first, ignoring Cynthia's shouts and groans as I went by her room upstairs.

After that I did the rest; dusting, washing the unwashed dishes in the sink, sweeping, organizing everything back into the order it'd been when I left…

When I was finished everywhere I looked was sparkling, and it was beginning to get dusky outside. And my mother was finally sound asleep, most likely not to wake up till the next morning.

Thoughts ran through my head, or rather plans, that maybe I could sneak out. But I didn't know where I could go in the first place, so what was the point…? I snuffed out the idea with a resigned sigh. I had tired myself out with my sudden cleaning impulse, and it wasn't such a good idea anyway.

I shuffled my way to my room, not bothering to take any of the pain meds the doctor had supplied me with. I felt only a few stings from bruises and that was it.

I flopped onto my bed carefully, and exhaled deeply. Well, today I exposed my deepest and darkest secret to a boy who I barely knew, but knew at the same time, and whom I somehow cared for. He was a little over concerned himself. And then I had to convince that person to take me to my own home, since he stated he wouldn't since the person waiting there for me was a threat. And then I'd had the most pleasant welcome from my mother… Everything was so jumbled up and confusing… Wow. What a day I'd had today.

_I was in the alley again. The boy had his arm wrapped around my shoulders, guiding me. We stopped when we were under the light of the flickering alleyway lamp. In the back of my mind, I had a feeling of déjà vu… _

_The glowing red eyes appeared out of the gloom, and they sparked an instinct from deep within that sent me into a wild frenzy of ripping snarling and viciously baring my teeth. _

_I ripped out of the boy's arms, but only managed to get a few feet before he wound his arms around my waist again, restraining me. He buried his face in my hair, beside my ear. _

"_Don't do it…" He whispered seductively. It was so hard to resist his voice… it was so alluring and _familiar_. _

_But I wouldn't listen. It seemed I _couldn't_. _

_I finally managed to struggle out of his arms, and meet the demon who had just emerged out of the darkness. _

_We slammed into each other in mid air, and I went down to the ground, putting up a fight all the way down. The monster pinned me down to the hard cement, and no matter how furiously I struggled, I couldn't get its enormous paws off of me. It was probably at least ten to fifteen times bigger than me, and there was nothing I could do, even if I was stronger than I normally was. My head flew up and down, and side to side as I tried to dig my teeth into flesh. _

"_Marie! _No!_" _

_The man screamed as the werewolf lowered its head down to mine, baring its razor teeth that were dripping with saliva. I saw my eyes reflected in its eyes… They were wide, bloodthirsty, ravenous, and the same colour as the demon's. _

_It opened its mouth wider, and its head shot down to take the first bite out of me._

_But all of a sudden, it was off me, thrown down the alley it seemed because I heard the enraged howls from a farther distance now. _

_Then the uproar began. There were many vicious hisses and growls erupting from the darkness as I lay on the ground. _

_I slowly got up, eyes darting everywhere, but resting on only one place. The boy stood right in front of me, hovering over me protectively. _

"_Stay back." He warned, with an edge of sadness to his voice. I tried to get a better look at his face, but it was kept hidden. He looked away from me. _

_And then monsters began flying out at us, circling and trapping us. He reached for my hand and held it for a minute, before he squeezed and let go. _

"_Get out of here." _

_He pushed me with enough force just to get me out of the circle. How I managed to sneak through all the fur covered legs I'll never know. But I didn't want to leave him. I couldn't. I had a bond with him somehow, that I didn't understand at the moment, but I did know that I could not bear leaving him there to get killed. Part of me would die with him. _

_I attempted to get back to him, to defend him as he did me, but it was too late. I heard ripping and shredding from the circle and, though I could not see what was happening because they had closed in on him, I knew what was going on. I stood there in shock, not able to do anything. With wide eyes and dead insides, I watched the scene unfold. I didn't hear a scream as black blood pooled and streamed in a large river towards me. _

I awoke with an ear piercing scream. Opening my eyes to blackness didn't help anything… it only worsened my paranoia. For a moment, I thought I was still in my dream until I realized that my whole body was covered in a light sheen of sweat, very much unlike my dream.

My hand searched frantically for a light… tapping everywhere, feeling everything until I finally found the switch for my bed lamp. It flicked on in a second, making my eyes hurt to have to adjust that quickly. As soon as I could see properly, see my room, and out into the blackness of the night outside my bedroom window, I relaxed back into my pillow though I was still panting slightly. I was almost incapacitated by dizziness for a moment.

That had to have been my worst nightmare yet.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. Maybe it would have been a good idea to ask the doctor if he had any medication I could take to help me with these dreams…

Rolling over cautiously, as not to hurt anything, I checked the time on my digital alarm clock.

The light blue symbols read 2:00 AM.

I groaned and rolled back over so I was staring up at my wood panelled ceiling. This had to stop. The dreams were waking me up at the earliest hours and draining me dry of energy I needed for daytime. I couldn't sleep all day anymore as I had at the hospital.

How would I be able to sleep if these dream continued? Right now, I was wide awake and it felt like there was no hope of me sleeping now…

I sighed heavily as I stretched over the side of my bed and dragged my bag out from underneath my bed. Unzipping it stealthily, I pulled out a book I'd signed out almost a month ago. I was almost finished it, but not quite done it yet because of how _busy_ I'd been…

Unfortunately, it didn't take me long to read the rest. I'd only had a couple chapters to read… now it was two forty five. I sighed, and let myself fall back onto the pillow.

That book hadn't been as interesting as I'd hoped for. I would've hoped that I would be sucked into it, and not want it to end. But as I had put the book down, the only emotion was 'crap, that didn't take up enough time'. Maybe if it had been better I would be thinking about all the things that were amazing about it right now…

Suddenly, I heard a huge _snap_ come from outside, and a snarling, hissing sound. I was stunned for a moment, since such a ferocious sound had come out of dead silence.

My eyes widened, and I looked out the window into blackness. I searched in the dark, trying to find the source of the noise. But it had ceased, and it was as still as it had been before. I still gazed out the window though, alarmed and not sure what to do. I bit my lip.

Should I go out and investigate? It was probably only a bear or something… We'd had them around before. They'd done some real damage the last time… my father had been raising chickens, why, I don't know because I was too young, but I did remember the huge holes and gashes in the wooden coop, and all the bloodied feathers strewn across the ground everywhere.

We didn't have any animals anymore, and there was nothing of real value outside, besides our cars which weren't even really worth much.

I slumped back down onto my mattress, a little perplexed.

I'd heard a bear hiss before… my dad had gone outside and banged pots and pans, trying to scare the thing away. And the noise I'd heard outside before sounded like nothing I'd ever heard before.

I heaved a sigh at my ridiculous thoughts. I was too paranoid for some reason. Maybe I was over tired… Everything was all right; I didn't need to launch an investigation about it. I hadn't heard every animal in the world before, so who was I to know that the sound was abnormal? I closed my eyes, and let my fingers rap against the wood of the window frame.

Well, I had about another three or four hours until I could start getting ready. Even then I would have plenty of time to get to school. The question was, what was I going to do now? I wasn't used to having so much time on my hands, and I hated it. I was usually doing something, whether it is homework, housework…

Giving up with a sigh, I pushed myself up off the bed with probably a little bit more force than was necessary. I guess I would just have to get up, and be tired for the rest of the day.

I walked into the living room, and plopped myself down onto the couch under the window. The impact was a little jarring, and I clenched my teeth as pain shot through my ribs. My face scrunched up slightly, and I wrapped my arms around my sides. It was time for my pills.

"Ugh," I muttered.

With a groan, I got back up off the couch, and walked to the bathroom, seeking the pain meds that the doctor had prescribed me, and vitamin C. He said since I'd broken right through the cartilage, it was a good idea for me to take vitamin C to help me rebuild it… although it probably wasn't needed, at the rate I was healing.

And speaking of that, it still didn't make any sense to me, and the doctor for that matter. Nothing about my lifestyle would make my bones heal that fast. My diet was atrocious; I knew that for a fact, because my doctor had observed how often I eat and what I eat at that time. That only added to his confusion about the rate of my rapid healing bone.

I opened the medicine cabinet almost violently, and grabbed the pills.

I dried swallowed two of each all at once, and then gulped down two glasses of water. Putting the pills away slowly, I realized something. I was hungry.

For the first time in awhile, my stomach was rumbling for food, almost ravenous. It came as a huge shock to me, because I usually didn't have a craving for food. But I was famished… I needed something to eat.

I walked into the kitchen, staring at the fridge intently. I wonder what my mother had for dinner last night.

My eyes perused the contents of the fridge, frowning at things I found relatively gross looking. Until I found a bowl containing what looked like spaghetti I could heat up.

I grabbed it, my stomach growling at me now. Ripping off the plastic wrap on top, I threw it in the microwave, and put it on for a minute and a bit.

I was still a bit confused, and a little bit worried that Cynthia would be angry that I ate her spaghetti, because I never _wanted_ food before. I just ate to provide myself with energy.

The microwave beeped what seemed like seconds later, and I grabbed the bowl, not concerned about how hot it was, but how much I wanted to eat something at the moment. What an moron I was.

The bowl burned me, and a gasp escaped me as I almost dropped the black ceramic bowl. I ground my teeth, and made a run for the table to set the bowl down. Then I made a dash for the sink, my burn turning rosy red.

I quickly ran it under cold water for a few seconds, and immediately relaxed as the water ran over and cooled the burn. I shook my head in annoyance at myself. I had to be more careful than that… I could think of a few ways that scene could have gotten worse. It would have been just brilliant of me to drop the bowl, and bring Cynthia's attention upon me and her spaghetti that would have been splattered on the floor, along with one of her best bowls. That outcome wouldn't have been very pretty, and I was glad I had enough sense to keep it in my hand even though it hurt.

I shook my hand off, sending little droplets of water flying into the sink, and dried off the rest of my hand with a tea towel before I grabbed a fork and walked back to the table and sat down. It was quite abnormal for me to be doing this…

I tossed it around for a bit. It looked like it had spaghetti sauce, tomato chunks, peppers and mushrooms in it. I grimaced at the vegetables. I think Cynthia was on one of her health flings again. Either that or she liked weird things in her spaghetti.

I took a deep breath, and blew on the mouthful of the mixture before I put it in my mouth. I chewed slowly, tasting it.

My lips puckered slightly, and I admitted in my head it was pretty good. I wonder if she'd gotten it from a restaurant or made it herself. I'd never seen her cook before, or been around to see her cook, so I didn't know for sure. One thing is for certain though, she'd never cooked anything for me was I was a kid… I'd learned how to fend for myself –using the dusty cooking books in the cupboard above the stove.

I slowly ate the rest, expecting every bite I took, I would be full. But I wasn't full until the very last bite. I smiled in satisfaction though. Even though it seems crazy, it had taken an hour to eat.

Now I could get ready for school, but take awhile doing it.

Taking my time, I took a shower, blow dried my hair, brushed my teeth, got dressed and applied makeup. And I still had an hour left till I really needed to go.

I took one last pain pill, chills and pains creeping up on me again. I went and grabbed my bag from my room after that; I'd decided I'd had enough of hanging around the house.

Grabbing my keys out of my jeans pocket, I walked to the car and opened it. Just before I got in though, I surveyed the yard, remembering the noise from this morning.

I saw no branches broken off of trees, or anything damaged whatsoever. I frowned in confusion. What could that awful snapping sound have been?

Looking closer with narrowed eyes and a perplexed expression, I looked around once more before getting in the car. I had no idea what it could have been, and I didn't know if I even really wanted to know anymore.

I backed out carefully, making sure I hadn't over looked something, so I wouldn't hit a huge branch.

Even though I felt like just tearing down the road, I didn't. I went at a fairly normal speed.

It felt kind of weird for me to have so much free time on my hands. I felt the need to take everything slowly so I was doing something. I just wasn't used to it, and I may never be used to it.

And I was incredibly awake and alert for how many hours of sleep I got last night. I'd gotten maybe a few hours…

But despite my efforts to take everything really slow, my impulse to drive fast behind the wheel took over and I was at the school in no time. Everything blurred and melded together as I flew down the highway, and onto the back road leading to the school.

I parked in the small parking lot, finding barely any cars there yet. There were a few students, but most of them were most likely teachers. I grimaced as I saw my art teacher's car. I wondered if she'd missed me much.

I shook my head as I locked up, all my problems from two weeks ago coming back to me now. Lucky me, I would have to face Janet today, unless I hid well. And I wondered how Josie coped the two weeks I was gone. Hadn't Janet made her life awful? Josie hadn't once complained or spoke of school once while she was visiting me. And she didn't have any bruises on her, which meant Janet hadn't got her alone or was too scared of her to try. Chris and Damian wouldn't let that happen anyway…

And speaking of them, they'd better be here today, or else I was dead. Who else could kick Janet's butt better than Josie?

I cracked a smile at that thought, and began walking towards the school.

As I approached, I could see Chris leaning against the school wall, another girl very close to him. I frowned as I saw that. This was a different girl than the last… and I was also confused because it looked like he had a bandage around his arm. That was really uncommon for him, and his siblings…

Just then someone jabbed me in the back. I flinched and whirled around, the place where I was poked pounding.

Josie was standing right behind me, Damian's arm around her. I could tell he tried to hide his grimace, whether it was from Josie or my problems. I thought it would be better to think that he had the sour look on his face because he had his arm around his sister. A small smirk appeared on my face.

"Morning guys."

Josie smiled hugely.

"Good morning Marie! I see you're feeling better…"

"And I see you're feeling quite chipper…" I said sarcastically. Josie rolled her eyes, and grabbed my hand to pull me forward.

"Come on Christopher! Don't you have your begonias to attend to?"

What I guessed from that was Chris had horticulture first… I laughed lightly as he glared at Josie and pushed himself off the wall. The girl's face went pink and she quickly walked away.

Chris only continued to glare at her as he walked with us, and Josie just smiled back. It looked to me like as if they had another inside joke I was not aware of…

Josie noticed my confusion, and only smiled wider, exposing her perfect teeth.

When the bell rang, we went our separate ways.

The day lagged by as usual… And I caught up to mostly everything I'd missed in class.

Josie, Damian and I sat at the same table for lunch. Josie seemed overjoyed about something, and Damian tried to calm or her down every time she would get jittery. She was almost always staring at either me or Damian.

I tried to get her mind off of whatever was making her act like this by asking her how school had gone when I was away. She said it was fine, and that I hadn't missed much, which confused me again. Hadn't Janet come back with a vengeance? She probably would've wanted blood if someone ever broke her perfectly straight, angular nose.

"So Josie… Janet didn't try to _do_ anything to you?"

Josie looked at me strange, until she realized what I was talking about.

"Oh! Oh no, no… It's actually quite funny. She really respects me now… probably cause she knows if she messes with me she's going to get her face beat in again." She started laughing.

I knew she was just kidding around about beating up Janet like that… but it was shocking that Janet would respect anyone ever. Josie was probably the first one able to make Janet respect someone.

The rest of the day was basically uneventful. I went home, cleaned up after I cooked lasagne for dinner, did my homework and then went to bed. Even my dream was the same… though it still scared me half to death. And thinking of that, I was getting even angrier that I had no idea whatsoever what they meant. I think I'd reached the conclusion of the dream… I hoped. How could it get worse than _that_?

The next day, however, was very strange.

It was almost the end of the week now, since I'd come back during the middle of the week. And this morning my mother was being very strange.

Her voice was particularly sweet, and she smiled at me. She _smiled_ at me? What was going on? That scared me, I had to say, and after that I'd rushed out of the house and to my car.

When I went to school, Damian seemed exceptionally nervous, and Josie was more concerned than usual. She was almost as uneasy as Damian was.

He now sat beside me in art, our old boundaries gone now. I wondered how we'd gotten here again… it seemed like only yesterday was I would glare at him as he stared at me.

He kept glancing at me, more than he ever had before. I didn't understand it. What was the problem…? I thought we had gotten all the problems out of the way.

I bit my lip and frowned.

"Damian…"

He turned to look at me with concerned, questioning eyes. I sighed, tired of seeing just that expression.

"Marie! Did you hear what I just said,"

I groaned quietly. The art teacher had taken fancy to picking on me more.

"No."

I swear I heard her grit her teeth from across the room. I plan popped into my head at that very second.

"No what, Marie?"

A few people giggled and I rolled my eyes.

"No, Ms. Garder… I'm sorry; I'm just not feeling all that well… Can I go home?"

I toned my voice to sound sick.

I shot Damian a serious look, trying to express through my eyes that I wanted him to come with me. I saw understanding in his dark green eyes almost immediately, but I also saw a trace of confusion.

"Oh. Well, I guess so, if you need to Marie. Just remember to finish your project."

I nodded, trying to make myself look tired. I began piling my books together when Damian put up his hand.

"Ms. Garder, may I escort her? She doesn't seem all that well to me…"

I paused for a moment, and hid a smile behind my hair as I heard Ms. Garder stutter in surprise.

"Umm… sure Mr. Forrester. Will I expect you back?"

He shook his head.

"We're both going to sign out… I'll bring her home, she doesn't look too good."

She nodded, eyes wide, and signalled with her hand that we were excused. I noticed just before we left though, that _everyone_ was staring at us. I tried to keep the scowl off my face.

He had his books piled and put in his bag in a flash, and then we were gone.

We walked down the hall in silence, though I knew he wanted to say something. He still kept shooting looks at me.

But when we were almost to the parking lot, I grabbed his arm and pulled him into that old abandoned girls' washroom again. His face looked surprised for the most part.

As soon as we'd entered, we went to the back corner and sat down. We sat in silence again for the next few minutes, and he just stared at my face with a blank expression now.

I took a deep breath before I would say anything.

"Damian, what's the matter now?"

He sighed, and looked away.

"You're right… I really do need to keep my emotions in check, don't I?"

I glared at him.

"What's the problem now? I never understand what's going on, and it's really starting to bug me."

He shook his head without a word, and I almost exploded on him. I only half exploded on him.

"Why won't you tell me what's going on _ever_? Are you still worried about my little problem? About my dreams? About your brother, your sister… Just tell me why it's driving me insane!"

He shook his head again, and muttered a, "Sorry…"

I slumped against the wall with a 'humph', and murmured, "I never used to have these problems when I _didn't_ have friends…"

I saw a sly smiled appear on his face, and for what reason I hadn't a clue. Again.

"Ugh… I hate not understanding what's going on. Why won't you just tell me? I'm sure it's not that horrible."

He flinched slightly, and leaned back against the wall also.

"How did your father die?"

My eyes shot to his face, and I eyed him warily.

"Why do you want to know?"

He sighed.

"Is it out of line for me to ask?"

I shook my head, and frowned. I'd never told anyone before.

"Then will you tell me?"

"I'll tell you if you tell me what's wrong."

He looked away, before he nodded his head slightly.

I closed my eyes for a moment, and breathed in deep.

"He died in a car crash… He went for a drive after he'd had a fight with my mother, over me like it almost always was, and he was being careless in his rage."

Damian turned more towards me, and looked my in the eyes. But I held up a finger to stop him from speaking.

"I don't want you to sympathize. But I'll thank you for your concern, I guess…"

A small smile appeared on my lips, but his expression wiped it away since it was still scared, nervous, and pained.

My eyes scrunched closed.

"Will you tell me now?"

Suddenly I felt him grab my shoulders, and my eyes flew open.

He was very close to me… his face only a few centimetres away. He was on his knees in front of me. I was so stunned I couldn't do anything.

"I'm so sorry…"

He leaned in and hugged me for a short ten seconds before he stood up stealthily. I watched him in awe the whole time.

And then he crossed the cold, tiled floor and left, leaving me with my mouth hanging slightly ajar, staring after him from the floor.

Well, I'd come in here to get some answers, but was left here with more questions. Why was everyone acting so weird?

Would I ever know what he was thinking?


	8. Chapter 8: Apologies

Chp 8: Apologies

"Good morning Marie!" My mother called cheerfully from my bedroom door. I don't know why she was so jolly lately… it kind of scared me. I didn't know why she was like this. Another thing I didn't understand is how happy and awake someone could be at this time in the morning.

I sat on my bed, basically spaced out as I stared out the window. The sun was just coming up –turning everything that dusky purple colour again.

"Morning, mother." I muttered tonelessly.

She fluttered into my room, and sat herself on the end of my tiny bed. I squeezed into the corner a little more.

"So… guess what's happening tonight?" She said in an excited, high pitched voice.

I glanced at her from the side of my eyes. She paused. I sighed.

"What?"

"Oh, I told you when you got back from the hospital honey!" I flinched slightly as she called me 'honey', but she didn't seem to notice. What was wrong with her?

"The manager's retirement party is tonight at the Salmo Lion's Club!"

Frowning, I turned my head to look at her.

"And…?"

"And I was wondering if you wanted to come with me! It should be fun…"

I mentally groaned. What was I going to say? If I said no, then I might get beaten up. I couldn't count on her staying this way for too long. And then if I said yes, I would have to suffer through a night of being surrounded by strangers. There were probably a lot more reasons than that, yet to be known.

"Well, what do you say? I have a dress for you that you can wear." She was still as flighty as ever. Okay, I really had to seriously ask myself if I was just imagining this, or this was a stranger that had locked up my mother somewhere. Not that I was complaining but still….

Well, what would it be? Would I just face tonight, feeling miserable all the while… or risk Cynthia losing her temper? I didn't want to get my butt kicked any time soon… I gave up as I heaved a sigh.

"All right."

She squealed, and clapped her hands. And I was a little bit dismayed. What had I just agreed to?

"Oh this will be so much fun… Do you want to see the dress? It'll be perfect… I bought it awhile ago, when I was thinner, and I never got the chance to wear it. But I'm sure it will look just ravishing on you."

That also came as a surprise to me. Cynthia had never given me a gift, ever. She'd never

"Umm… no, I'll wait till tonight to see it. I should start to get ready anyhow."

She stood up with a smile.

"All right, that's okay… So do you want me to make breakfast for you? You must never eat in the morning… you always leave late."

I shook my head slightly. I was really very shocked still.

"No that's all right… I'm going to go take a shower now."

My voice sounded really uncertain, it sounded almost like a question, but she nodded anyway.

"All righty then… well I'm going to get going to work if that's the case. Have a good day, sweetie!"

I flinched again as she left the room. I was seriously wondering if my mother had gone mentally insane, was experiencing amnesia, or had started taken mood enhancers…

With an angry huff I practically jumped off the bed, gathered my clothes, and walked to the bathroom. I didn't understand anything anymore.

I finished getting ready, and went to grab my bag.

On my drive to the school, I wondered what my day would be like today. Yesterday, Damian had been acting the weirdest he ever had. I didn't know what he was talking about when he said sorry to me… And I didn't know what the matter with him was. We'd settled everything on the ride home from the hospital… I had thought… But apparently not. What else could there be?

As soon as I got there, I looked around feverishly for Damian. I needed to talk to him again, and this time if he didn't answer me… All of a sudden, I saw Chris pop out of no where. He walked right up beside me, with a huge smile on his face. I shot him a questioning look.

"Hello, Christopher…"

"Hey Marie. How are you today?"

"Uhh… good, and you?"

This conversation was getting maybe a tad awkward. I hated small talk…

"I'm doing all right I guess." I could hear the smirk in his voice. I looked over to him to see his face, and I could see in his dark eyes that he was repressing laughter. I glared at him.

"So… where is your brother?" I saw him take a peak at me and he almost burst into laughter.

"I thought you'd know… you're always with him. Which reminds me, are you going out with him tonight?"

I stopped dead. Did he just ask me… if Damian and I were _dating?_

"_What?_"

He raised an eyebrow, and the side of his mouth pulled up into a half grin.

"What gave you the idea that Damian and I were _going out_?" I was basically shouting in his face.

He had broken into a fit of laughter now.

How could he even think that? I mean what had we ever done to give Chris that idea? Besides, he was too good for me. Way too good in every aspect; he was a better person, kind, way better looking... I mentally slapped myself, and glowered at Chris.

"I don't like him anyway…" I muttered low under my breath, so low that I myself could barely hear it. But apparently Chris did, and he just kept laughing. I could tell everyone was staring at us now.

"Oh, denial is sweet isn't it?"

I punched him hard in the stomach. But he only kept chuckling as I removed my throbbing hand from his rock hard gut. It felt as if I'd just punched a brick wall as hard as I could.

Resisting the urge to make pained noises, I shook out my hand lightly and began walking again.

Chris still snickered, walking slightly behind me now.

"So, Chris, are you going to tell me where Damian and Josie are?"

"Uhh I don't really know… I always leave before they do."

I frowned and nodded. I wondered why that was.

As the day progressed, I didn't see Damian or his sister.

After my english class I waited for him to walk through the door in trig. Every time someone knocked on the door or entered the class I turned my head, searching, hoping it was him. And every time I that I realized it wasn't him, I would be disappointed and then get angry with myself for looking for him so feverishly. Why was I like this? And why wasn't he here?

I was even more anxious and edging on being depressed as I looked for him at around the cafeteria at lunch, and after that in art. I'd asked Chris where they were, but he only shrugged.

I'd basically given up hope half way through art. Where was he, and what was he doing?

So by the time school I was over, I was really dejected.

I trudged to my locker, and retrieved the things I needed to bring home before I began walking to wards my car.

When I was out into the parking lot, I looked around for Chris. I just didn't buy that he didn't know where his family was.

I glanced around, turning in a circle, my face absolutely expressionless. I didn't see him –only all the people vacating the parking lot, anxious to go home for the weekend. I took one last look, and walked the rest of the way to my car.

As soon as I rolled into the driveway, I saw Cynthia lounging on a lawn chair on the porch –presumably waiting for me. I scowled, and jumped out of the car. I could already tell this night was just going to be _spectacular_.

Once she saw me emerge from the car, she pulled off her sunglasses, though I don't know why she was wearing them since it was shady around our house, and beamed at me.

"Hello Marie! Did you have a good day?" I walked up the wooden steps, and met her at the top.

I looked to the wood planks, not enthused, and too depressed to care about how weird she was acting.

"Fine…"

She cut me off almost immediately though, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the house. I flinched away, but she didn't do anything but continue to ascend the stairs to her room. I knew what she was doing, and I felt the urge to hide.

We whisked into her room, and she opened her closet door and disappeared inside it for a moment.

She emerged with an, "Aha!" a triumphant grin on her face, and what seemed to be a garment in a protective black plastic bag. Then she motioned me over to her bed, where she sat down with a huge smile on her face.

I walked over, too dreary to care, and sat almost beside her.

She made a dramatic display of opening the bag, and I only rolled my eyes. I didn't understand why she had to make it such a big deal… It was only a dress after all. It was a little annoying if I actually thought about it. Anyone else would be jumping up and down with glee, thinking, 'Oh the suspense!'

When she'd finally got the bag open, she took it off the hanger and out of the bag with one sweeping motion. She pulled out a long, simple but elegant, wine red dress. The top of it was lined with an intricate design of black lace trim, and the spaghetti straps were also black lace.

It looked amazing, and I was absolutely astounded that my mother would let me have this.

She smiled at my obvious expression of awe, and handed it to me. I took it gently from her hands, feeling the silky smooth material. I just couldn't get over that this was mine –this must have been the most expensive piece of clothing I'd ever come to own. I'd always bought my clothes with my own money –sometimes my dad would have helped out. But I obviously didn't indulge in designer trends –I needed to save all my money… in case I needed it urgently someday.

"So…? Do you like it –what do you think?" I looked up from the dress to her face. It appeared she was still in good spirits… I expected any moment that she would turn back to the dark side.

"I love it…" I murmured quietly. The smile seemed plastered on her face now.

All of a sudden she stood up, and it looked like she almost skipped to the door. I frowned. What was she doing now?

Before she disappeared, she poked her head back in the doorway to say something.

"Try it on and see if it fits you. I had an awful time trying to think if that would fit you –your clothes are all baggy and way too big for you!" and with that she shut the door. I started to strip out of my clothes meanwhile thinking that she… well I had no idea what to think of her anymore. Was this kindness only going to last today, a few weeks, maybe even a month? I hadn't a clue. Maybe her coworkers had wanted to see me for some strange reason, so my mom was only doing this to get me to be social and nice around her friends at the dance.

Besides, I would most likely be sitting around and talking with the occasional person that my mom would force me to talk to.

I could not dance. I had tried it once before and it was like having two left feet. Not such a pleasant experience. So I would find myself a secluded corner somewhere where I would just fade into the background; where no one would notice me. With luck, maybe even my own mother might not find me and I could spend my evening peacefully; not talking to anyone, not dancing and just observing everyone else. That sounded like the perfect evening to me… at least that was about as much good as I could get out of it.

I slipped the dress over my head, enjoying the feel of the fabric on my skin. It truly was the best piece of clothing I ever owned. I adjusted it a little, and then went to look in the mirror. I usually wasn't one to think such things, but I thought I looked pretty good… At least I looked better than I normally did. It was a noticeable improvement to me, that is.

The dress hugged my small frame nicely, revealing curves that were usually non-existent, and were not like my other baggy clothes that I thought made me look kind of bulgy. The pure color of the dress contrasted remarkably with my pitch-black hair and pale white skin. The black trim was what made it look really good.

"How does it fit? Can I come in?" My mother asked kindly from the other side of the door.

"Sure," I answered uncertainly, even though I didn't really want her to see it on me. I got the feeling that she wouldn't even appreciate it on me from my past experiences with her. And anyway, who would appreciate it at all? Me, myself and I. That's who. But why did it all of a sudden bother me so much?

My mom opened the door and stepped through, surprisingly taking my form in with awe.

"Marie, you look amazing!" She rushed over to me, staring at my dress. It was hard to keep the shock off my face, even though I knew she would just brush it off.

"Do you like it? Are you going to wear it to the party tonight?"

I answered yes, sighing internally all the while. I don't know why she was all wound up. This would not be fun at all.

"Great! I have to get ready. We're leaving in a couple hours, so occupy yourself till then." With that she ushered me out of her room, leaving me standing in front of her now closed door out in the hallway.

Rolling my eyes, I walked swiftly to the bathroom, where I quickly applied fresh eyeliner. Then I walked quickly back to my room. There wasn't anything else to do but read. My eyes perused the books in my bag for anything good I had forgotten was in there. There!

Pride and Prejudice, one of my favorites, would keep me occupied for the time being, since I had no intentions of dressing up any further then I already was. Pulling my borrowed library copy of the book out of my bag, I headed over to my lumpy mattress.

But as I sat down and started to read, my mind began to wander. It strayed to questions like, "Why was my mother so happy?" to "Where was Damian, what was he doing, and why had he acted so strangely the day before?" All of these questions still didn't have answers to them, and I pondered over them, waiting for time to pass me by. And by the time my mom bounced gleefully into my room, I had not answered any of my questions or read a single page of the book I had attempted to start.

"It's time to go! How do I look?" I looked over her, not really sure what to do. Should I tell a little white lie to make her feel better, or just come out with the truth? I decided to go with the little white lie. Telling what I really thought of her dress might get me beaten up and put in the hospital again. Even if she really was in a good mood, I was not taking a chance.

"You look great." I said with a forced smile. My mom wore a tight blue dress with spaghetti straps that fit her body like someone had splashed paint on her. The bottom of the dress only reached mid thigh, and her makeup was very flashy and eye catching –sparkly silver eye shadow and eyeliner contrasted brightly with her light hazel eyes, and her bleach blonde hair was straightened so it reached her shoulders… and I thought she looked like a… I didn't think it, afraid that I might voice it by accident.

She returned my smile with a lot of enthusiasm, and danced over to where I sat on my bed. It was amazing she could actually _move_ in that dress. She took my hands and swayed them to and fro, while I just allowed her to do it. What was wrong with her? I was just getting the slightest bit uncomfortable under her gaze.

"Well, let's go my darling. We'll take your car, it's a little bit showier then mine." And she was right. Her old Tracker was in worse condition then mine was in. I gathered my keys from where I had put them on top of my dresser, and headed out of the room before my mom had a chance to move. For some odd reason, I could feel myself sinking into a bad mood already.

My mother followed close behind me, seeming not to notice my mood yet. I didn't know what had brought on the sudden intense emotion in me, but it was there, and I was trying my best not to show it. Maybe if I pretended to be in a good in front of my mother she would be like this always… even though some of what she did was annoying.

Getting into the driver's seat of my car, I mentally kicked myself for thinking that. _You can't have hope. It always comes crashing down around you in the end,_ I reminded myself.

Just as I slammed the door shut, my mom got in the car and softly closed hers, as if that was a little rebuff of my actions. Rolling my eyes, I turned on the car and revved the engine. It sputtered at first, but I managed to get it purring. My mother looked at me worriedly as I accelerated, much too fast for her tastes, out of the driveway and onto the road. I straightened out in the direction of town, and sped down the road as fast as the car would go… which was too slow in my opinion.

Without questioning where the retirement party thingy would be, I knew exactly where it was. The biggest place to throw a party or a dance was in the Salmo Lion's Club hall. The town hall or the Salmo high school gym would have to be the second largest, but events like the one I was going to were usually held in the Lion's Club. Now, I dreaded going.

My mom kept politely asking me to slow down a couple times. Or, rather, attempted. Every time she opened her mouth, I sped up, making the engine whine in protest. I guess there was an advantage to it's squealing sometimes. I definitely liked hearing it more then my mother, I thought darkly. I was really quite irritated now, that she had wanted me to come to this. But I couldn't turn back now; we were a few miles away, entering the town limits. Why had I even agreed on coming? I could have protested if I wanted to, probably ruining her good mood and earning me a beating. But I hadn't and now here I was.

It was only a few more minutes until we got there. And when we got there, I definitely regretted coming. Before, in the car, I had been thinking of some ways to be invisible, like a ghost at the dance. I was certainly not looking for attention, and never had. I loathed it. And it appeared I would not get what I wanted, because when I stepped out of the car, everyone was _staring_ at me.

As soon as I had opened the driver's side door and stepped out into the parking lot, all eyes were on me. That really horrified me. Why was everyone staring at me? It was probably because they thought I looked horrible, but still! Didn't these people have some kind of courtesy? I was a little surprised and afraid to be here when I saw all those curious, shocked and dazed eyes. Men, even women looked at me like that. And it was tough to fight the urge to get back in the car and leave.

Why, why, why, was the only thing I could think as I waited for mom to get out of the car.

"Mom, can we go? I'm kind of uncomfortable here," I whispered in her ear as she got out. There was no harm in trying. Although there would have been if she was her normal self. I was still pondering over her change, and if she would go back to normal or not. It didn't really matter, anyway. I was leaving her as soon as I turned eighteen regardless.

She looked at me with shock, wonder, and maybe even a little bit of hurt in her eyes. It was good that the shock was not the kind in the other people's eyes.

"Why dear? We just got here. What's wrong?" As much as I did want to get out of here, I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Maybe she would turn back into that monster she was only yesterday if I did. So, for her benefit, I sighed and shook my head.

"No, never mind, mom… Let's just stay." She smiled, and I could see the happiness return to her face. Grabbing my arm, she pulled me away from the car and toward the city hall. Oh, what a fun night tonight would be.

People inside the hall stared at me with the same look in their eyes as they did outside. Did I really look that bad? My mood steadily turned to indifference as mom introduced me to more people. I could feel the blankness on my face.

"Oh, Marie, come and meet Ms. Shelley! Ms. Shelley, this is my daughter, Marie. Marie, I have known Ms. Shelley ever since I first moved here! Do you remember if you've met her before?" I shook my bowed head slightly. I had been looking at the ground for most of the time since I had arrived here. Seeing those people staring at me like that made me really look down on myself.

"Huh, I thought you must have met her at least once! She's my best friend!" I could hear the warmth in her voice, and I didn't even bother to check to see if it was genuine. Pondering why I was here and how I could get out of here were my main concerns right now.

"Marie, look at me! You must introduce yourself to my friend here!" Why was she even bothering? She knew how I was, and how I did not like to talk.

Irritation was wafting through the air from mom, so despite how much I wanted to ignore her, I forced my self to raise my head and speak to her 'friend'.

"Hello, I'm Marie," I said as quietly as possible. Hopefully mom's 'friend' would take the message and try not to bother me. But it appeared that Ms. Shelley was just like my mom, and would not leave things alone. Ms. Shelley was a bit shorter then me, only looked to be skin and bones, with light brown hair and bright blue eyes, and with light skin that was wrinkling slightly.

"Oh, I am so glad to meet you Marie! Your mother has mentioned you a few times, and I have been dying to see you!" She was just as giddy as my mom. Wait a minute... was that why I was here? My mom's co-worker, and or best friend wanted to see me because my mom had accidentally brought me up in a conversation she was having at work? Oh no. How many more of these people wanted to see me? I really had to get out of here now.

Reverting my eyes back to the floor, I made a pathetic attempt to excuse myself.

"Excuse me; I'm going to slip off for a minute... I need to go to the washroom, and maybe get some food after. I'm fairly hungry…" Mom grabbed my wrist before I could make a break for it into the crowd.

"Oh, no you don't, Marie. I want you to stay here and meet with my friends. You can wait a little bit." She whispered in my ear so no one else could hear. Gritting my teeth in frustration, I nodded. There would be no escape. I felt defeated inside.

Mom introduced me to more of her 'friends' and as she did she became caught up in conversations. She was distracted for the moment. The perfect time for my escape. But not a real escape. I couldn't leave mom behind, then she would be _really_ angry with me. I would just find an isolated corner somewhere where either there was little to no people. Then I could sit back and watch till it was over. I couldn't help but regret that I didn't bring a book with me.

Weaving through the crowd, and losing sight my mom, I found the perfect spot; exactly what I was looking for. It was a little triangle of free space with no one standing or sitting there. Pulling up a chair that was just randomly placed there, I sat in the dark corner and laid my head against the cold, hard wall.

The small hall was dark, cramped, and stuffy. The music could barely be heard over everyone's talking. It had gotten a lot busier and packed in here since I had first arrived. This was not where I belonged.

But yet again, I really didn't belong anywhere. No matter where I would go I would never find a place where I would fit in. That was definitely a fact. What a world.

Well, what should I do for the next few hours while my mom either conversed with her 'friends' or tried to find me? I was pretty sure she wouldn't find me here. It was too packed to see me in this dank corner, and my mom hardly knew me. She wouldn't know where I would go or what I would do. I was thankful for that.

I would probably have to sit here and wait till it was over, and maybe even do a little people watching. Maybe it would be entertaining, but it was the only thing I could do right now. So that's what I did. People-watch. I've only done it once or twice in the cafeteria. It's not all that exciting. And as I watched people dancing to a song with a rapid beat, flailing their arms around in the air and just being plain stupid, I couldn't help but think what made me stoop to this level. People-watching was really pathetic, and is my last resort when there was nothing to do.

Time passed painfully slow. And, to my surprise, someone about twenty minutes after I had seated myself saw me in my corner and was approaching me. I could see a guy twisting and squeezing his way through the crowd toward me. He was in a fancy suit, had light brown hair, but I couldn't quite see the color of his eyes from where I was sitting. But I could see that he looked related to Ms. Shelley somehow. They looked very similar.

The guy squeezed through the last of the crowd and started towards me. He had a very proud stature, and was staring intensely at me. It really creeped me out, and I swear I could feel myself shrinking, becoming smaller.

"Hello, my name's Adrian. You look lonely." Adrian smiled down at me from his height of 6"6. As he towered over me, I felt _very_ small. But I tried my best not to show it, and set my chin defiantly, gritting my teeth all the while. _What was this person doing over here?_

"Really, do I?" My teeth were clenched as I said it. I glared at him, trying to stare him down and chase him away. I didn't seem to have trouble doing that from where I was, so very far below him. It looked like he was having a hard time trying not to run away, and I was pleased by that. But he continued stubbornly.

"Ya, you do. Why aren't you out there on the dance floor, enjoying yourself?" At that I had to narrow my eyes. Why would he care?

"What does it matter to you? Was that the only reason you came over here? To ask if I was lonely?" And now I was having a hard time not to just shut him down, hard and cold. He would be doing a favor to himself if he just left. He looked shocked, taken aback, and nervous now. Adrian started to fidget.

"Well, I was... actually... wondering..." He could barely get his words out, and it was about time for me to stop him.

"I'm sorry, Adrian, but I don't dance." That was really my only excuse without hurting him. Adrian dropped his arms to his sides and looked down for a second. Then he looked up angrily. His eyes had gone hard, and I could now see that they were brown. Huh, maybe he wasn't related to Ms. Shelley after all.

"Fine –I was only asking." It sounded like he was trying to copy my tone. What a pathetic attempt.

He stalked off into the crowd, his fists clenched. And I had a hard time trying not to laugh. It really looked like he was not good with rejection, or had never been rejected, or maybe even both. But it was funny, all the same. What he had just displayed was really very childish.

I didn't leave my chair once, but I really wish I had. Apparently word had gotten out about me, most likely spread by Adrian, and I guessed he told his buddies or something, because more and more boys found me in the corner and attempted to ask me to dance. I shut every one of them down as I did Adrian, but it was really becoming tiring to stare everyone of them down like I had before. By the time the tenth guy came, I was bushed and really angry.

"_Leave me alone! Why do you think you can just...?_" My screaming looked like it scared the guy and he took off. But now everyone was staring at me again. That was it. I had to get out of here now –with my mother or without her.

Straightening up and out of the chair with one fluid movement, I was on my way through the crowd and searching for mother. The crowd separated and moved out of my way, avoiding me like the plague. I must have combed the room about five times before I gave up. I just had to get out of here. This was unbearable. She knew I didn't like these kinds of things; that was one thing she knew about me, so why did she insist me to come?

The crowd wasn't separating for me anymore; this was the section of the people that hadn't heard my screaming, so I pushed my way through the mob to the back of the hall where the doors were.

My face felt red with anger, but probably wasn't. I couldn't really turn red. Maybe a faint blush, but that was it. I really wished I _could_ blush like that. Maybe it would help with some of my pent up anger.

My hand was on the door, about to slam it open, when someone grabbed my arm. The hand felt hard, cold, and comforting. I immediately relaxed, and knew who it was.

I turned around to see Damian wearing a loose-fitting black dress shirt with a grey tie and black slacks. Without his casual clothes, he looked like he was going to a funeral. But he looked dashing, as he always did. I didn't think he would look bad in anything.

My automatic reaction was to smile, forgetting how depressed I had been before, when I hadn't seen him all day. But his expression wiped the smile away. His beautiful green eyes were now pained, and I could he was trying his best to hide it. I had to lighten the mood.

"You seem to be making a habit out of doing that." I nodded towards my arm where his hand was still holding on. He smiled slightly, but it didn't touch his eyes. Damian let go, took hold of my shoulders and turned me all the way around so I was facing him properly.

"Where are you going? And why are you leaving?" He asked; his voice controlled so I couldn't hear any of the emotion his eyes were clearly stating. I sighed and closed my eyes, wishing to know what he was thinking, and because I really didn't want to tell him what had happened. It was just a little embarrassing.

"You don't really want to know," He rolled his eyes, as if something was childishly obvious.

"Of course I want to know. It looked like you were a bit angry as you were walking out. Actually, I think 'a bit' is an understatement." Damian's eyes now looked like they expected an answer out of me. How would I weasel my way out of this one?

"Wait a minute, what are _you_ doing here? And where were you today?" That was the best way to get out of the situation, avoiding the subject. Besides, what _was_ he doing here anyway? I knew he was just like me, likes the quiet and would rather be in solitary confinement than here. We both hated to be in populated areas. So it was a bit strange that we would both end up at the same event.

"My brother got a job at the airline, and that's why we moved here... He was invited, so he forced me to come since Josie went out with friends, and there was no one else to go with." He looked like he didn't want to say anymore on the subject, even though I realized he hadn't answered my second question, and I was curious about why there was no one else Kyle could go with.

Didn't he have a girlfriend, or couldn't he have gone with one of his relatives besides his brother or Josie? And speaking of Josie, I hadn't seen her hanging out with anyone yet. But she could have made some friends at the school while I had been in the hospital… that was the only explanation.

But, yet again, if Damian didn't have a girlfriend, which I was sure he didn't, why would Kyle have one? They were both very attractive, and could get any girl they wanted. I could understand if Damian wouldn't want one; he was the quiet, non-social type like me. But it seemed that Kyle should have one. He struck me as the more outgoing type. And didn't they have a mother or father, or any other relatives?

I stopped right there, because it was annoying to lead myself around in circles of thought and theories. I didn't like constantly second guessing myself.

"I see what you're trying to do, so don't try to avoid the subject, Marie. Just tell me what was bugging you." There was no pain in his eyes now; it was just simple curiosity aimed at me. And I couldn't get out of answering. I knew I had no way out, and I gave in, though not telling him the entire truth. It sounded really pathetic after I really thought about it.

"Fine; I just hate being here. That's it." He looked at me incredulously and critically. He knew I was lying.

"Oh, fine! It's also that these guys were asking me to dance with them, and I shot every one of them down, but they kept coming and coming..." It now looked like Damian was trying to conceal some other emotion, but only succeeding partly. His jaw was clenched, and it looked like he was trying to keep his hands form balling up into fists. I put a calming hand lightly on his arm. I could feel his muscles through his light shirt, and they were all tense. He felt surprisingly strong for how thin he looked.

"Don't worry about it. I'm okay now. You know, you're not very good at hiding your emotions," I added teasingly at the end. He looked a bit shocked at first. Then he put on a mask of calm, his face no looked like a blank slate.

"How so?" his voice was perfectly controlled, free of any emotion. Apparently he could hide his emotions. Well.

"Okay, you've made your point." I chuckled a bit. I was capable of those kinds of emotions only around Damian, and that was fine with me. I would be that way only around him, and then revert back to my old self when he wasn't around. It was all good.

"So, what are you going to do now?" I spaced out for a minute, trying to figure out what I _was_ going to do. I guess I would stay if I stuck myself to Damian like glue for the remainder of the time I was here. But if I couldn't, I would leave. He would keep the people, and guys, away from me.

"Well, how long are you staying?" I asked him. He smiled. But after that a little trace of the pain that was there before came back.

"I'll stay as long as you are staying."

"Good. I think I would die here without you." He flinched, and looked away. He looked almost… ashamed.

I frowned in confusion and concern. What was his problem lately? Yesterday he was like that. And again today he seemed pained over something, and I had no idea what. I still remembered in perfect detail what he had said the other day… "I'm so sorry." What was he sorry about? There was nothing to be sorry for. Or was it that I was being too assertive when I should not? Did he think I was weird or something when I said things like that? I would have to confront him in private somewhere else at some other time.

Raising my hand up to his face, I nudged his chin so he would look at me. I still noticed that he would back a little bit away from me every time I was near him, or touched him.

"Cheer up. While we're here we might as well have some fun. If that's possible..." At that he smirked.

"What do you suggest?" I thought for a moment. And came up blank. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" He shrugged, and gestured to the dance floor.

"Do you want to dance?" My eyes widened and I gulped. I silently shook my head. And he laughed.

"Well that's pretty much all we _can_ do besides stand around and talk. And I think that's a pretty boring idea. What do you have against dancing?" I glared at him pointedly. He knew.

Damian rolled his eyes in understanding.

"Oh, right. Well, what if I didn't let you fall?" I shook my head. I would still look silly. He snickered.

"Come on! I promise I won't let you make a fool out of yourself, or let you fall. Just let me lead. I can safely say I'm a pretty good dancer." I started to shake my head again, but he didn't give me a choice. He grabbed my hand and dragged me onto the dance floor while I struggled against his hold. It was like steel, and I could not get free. People stared after us as he walked, and I was towed.

"Come on Damian! Let me go! You know I can't dance!" We were almost to the middle of the dance floor when he stopped.

"It's not that hard. Besides, I'm leading, so you have nothing to worry about." He gently took my hands and placed them on his shoulders. Then he put his hands on my waist as a slow dance song came on. And apparently we both knew it again, because he began to hum along to the tune, and a smile spread across my lips despite my mood. This was an amazing song… I just wished at the moment that a faster beat song had come on. I had been hoping it would be a fast dance, not a slow dance. I sucked even more at slow dancing.

Other couples started to pile onto the dance floor and sway to the music. We started to dance, to, and as we started to move around the dance floor I found it wasn't that bad. It was actually kind of nice. And Damian _was_ a good dancer. He had proved it because I hadn't tripped once yet. And if I had been on my own, or maybe even with another person I would have fallen on my face on the first step I had taken.

My tense muscles started to loosen up, and I relaxed. Damian was relaxed, too, not at all tense as he had been before.

"It's nice to feel a beating heart..." He murmured so low under his breath that I, being so close to him, could barely hear him. What was he talking about?

It was then that I realized we were standing so close together that he could feel my heart beating through his shirt and on his chest. Forget how I couldn't turn red; I think I turned cherry red right there. I looked up, and realized he was looking down at me. Our eyes locked, I think my breathing may have stopped in shock, or something else, and it seemed I couldn't look away…

"Marie!" That annoying voice made me lose my train of thought, and I momentarily forgot what I was doing or where I was. But then I turned my head to the side and saw my mom. She looked like she was trying to conceal immense anger, and her eyes was somewhat twitching because of it. Her voice was barely controlled as she began to speak.

"Marie, dear, we have to go. I'm really very tired. It's a half hour till midnight!" Damian sighed and let go of me. He looked down on me sadly.

"Goodbye, Marie. I really am sorry… you don't deserve this." He turned around and disappeared into the crowd. I attempted to follow him to ask him what was wrong –what was his problem, why he kept saying sorry for no reason, and what didn't I deserve, but mom grabbed my arm before I took two steps. Mom's hand tightened on my arm, sending little needles of pain shooting through it. I gritted my teeth. Why did she have to interrupt us? Even if it had gotten a little awkward for me, it was still a nice moment and my mom had to go and break it. It seemed she liked to break everything of mine… starting with my toys when I was a kid, and then over the years, my spirit.

"Let's go." I noticed she didn't have to control her voice anymore. It was calm, quiet and peaceful, like she had come to a perfect resolution and was content with it.

I followed her through the crowd, her in front and pushing away the people that were in her way. When we finally got to the doors, I took one look back. Then we were heading out the doors and towards my car.


	9. Chapter 9: Beginning of an End

Chp 9: Beginning of an End

As we neared the car, I could hear the song Damian and I had danced to ending. And I wasn't sure if I should be relieved or disappointed, because on one hand I had been _very_ embarrassed about how close we had been when we were dancing, but on the other hand, I enjoyed it. I actually _enjoyed_ that dance with Damian. And probably only because he was there, and didn't let me trip over my own feet. So it was 50/50. I didn't like it, but I did. What a messed up night. What a few messed up months, to be exact.

And that wasn't the only reason why it had been messed up. I still couldn't understand why all those boys came up to me. Weren't they afraid of me? Most boys at school were both fearless and made my life worse by tripping and or embarrassing me, or they were afraid and avoided me like the plague, shrinking up against the wall whenever I passed them in the halls. These boys only seemed nervous, and not like the nervousness I saw in the other boys who were frightened of me. What were these boys' problems? Was it just pity, or a game? If it was pity, I wanted to go back and rip those guys' throats out. And if it was game... well boys will be boys. And I would still rip their throats out.

Then there was how strange Damian was being. Apologizing all the time. I had already made up my mind that I was going to confront him. And already knew the consequences of how awkward that would be for me. After my reaction dancing with him…? I didn't know how I would be able to even look at him again. It was beyond embarrassment, and I didn't know for sure if my face had gone red, but it certainly felt like it for real… and he had seen it too. I would still know, and that's all that mattered anyway. And how and why was Damian at the dance in the first place?

I didn't believe his excuse about Chris and how Chris 'had no one else to go with'. Why hadn't I seen Damian with Chris then? I hadn't even seen Chris… and they were a definite standout in a crowd.

Anyway, Chris seemed like the kind of guy who could find someone to go with no matter what. He was the sort of guy who could get anyone he wanted to get. Chris was the life of the party; that's how he came off on me, anyway. So there was no way he wouldn't be there without someone. Besides, Damian wouldn't let his brother drag him to something like a dance no matter what the circumstances were. Damian was like me; wanted to be alone, didn't want to be anywhere public, stuffy, and crowded. As if Chris didn't have another friend or family member that would or could go with him. This was also hard to believe. Why would these two be living here alone, without any parents? There was still a lot about Damian I didn't know, and his family was one thing I still didn't know about.

But what really topped off tonight was how nice my mom was being to me. I don't remember one minute in my life where she was ever like this to me. I was just beginning to question this further, and was thinking about how I should've thought about this more earlier. How could I have accepted how nice my mom was before? That kind of treatment from her was very foreign. Maybe it was because she wanted me to be nice to her co-workers at the dance who wanted to meet me so badly. If I had found that out earlier, and that was the reason, then I would've made a big fool out of her in front of her friends. But I didn't sense that was the reason. I still had to find out why.

I looked over at her, trying to find something in her expression that I could use to figure out her change in mood. Somehow, I had ended up in the passenger seat with mom driving. She was staring at the road in great concentration, her hands clamped on the wheel. She was very tense, and seeming like she was preparing for something. Finding nothing I could put to use in her expression, I had to ask her, to talk to her.

"What's wrong, mom?" My voice seemed to break her train of thought, and she looked shocked for a moment. But she quickly regained her composure, and looked over at me, taking her eyes off the dark road ahead to smile.

"Nothing, dear." Her eyes looked very innocent, and willed me to believe her. I narrowed my eyes slightly, not believing her, but not letting her know it. She looked back at the road.

"Okay." I looked out my window again. But mom continued talking.

"So, did you have a good time honey?" I still couldn't comprehend why she was like this. If the act was only for making me behave at the dance, why was she still being so nice to me? It had to be a different reason.

"It was fun," I said cautiously.

"That's good. Where did you disappear to? I couldn't find you. It must have been right in the middle of the dance when you disappeared." I could see the thought that was forming in her head of where I had been, but she was wrong. She probably thought I had been with Damian the whole time because she found me dancing with him just before we left.

"Pretty much the whole time, I sat and watched people dance. Damian found me about ten minutes before we left and asked me to dance. We were in the middle of the dance when you showed up and we had to leave." I was being completely truthful, something not totally common in me when I was talking to my mom.

"Really?" She didn't sound convinced.

"Why were you so red when I found you though? Are you sick?" I don't think I turned as red as I did before, but I definitely turned red. Great. She saw me blush. The most embarrassing moment of my life was witnessed by my mother. Just great. I turned my head and body toward the door so my mom couldn't see me.

"No, I'm not sick." I said in a very strained voice. Apparently, mom noticed. Who wouldn't?

"Then what's wrong?" She said in a voice that sounded like it was ready to laugh. Uh-oh.

"Nothing, nothing." My voice was hurried and evasive. She laughed.

"Is it that boy?" My head whipped around, and I swear it was as red as before because mom broke out laughing.

"It is! Oh my, Marie has fallen for..." She didn't get to finish her sentence, because my facial expression made her stop in her tracks. My face was now snow white, drained of blood. My eyes were wide with shock and panic.

"No! I am _not_ falling for him."

"Don't deny." She said jokingly when she regained her voice that she had lost.

I remained quiet, too embarrassed and petrified to speak. I wasn't falling for Damian... I wasn't...

And as we drove farther and farther, and I stared out into the pitch-blackness, I finally realized something I had been missing the whole time we had been driving. We were heading in the wrong direction, a totally different direction from the way of our house. I looked back at mom. Her face had taken a dramatic change; it was now probably as white as mine and very serious. It made me shrink inside; made me feel like a tiny scared child. I now knew where I had inherited my glares.

I could feel my eyes pop open wide with confusion and fright. What was she doing? When she saw my face her expression changed slightly so she didn't look quite as scary as before. Now there was a touch of sadness and guilt, but then there was blazing determinedness, then there was joy, and then hatred. Her face was now a myriad of emotions I could not understand. What was going on inside her head? Somehow I knew she was not the same person she had been only a few hours ago. She was her normal, loathing self.

Mom kept her eyes on the road as she began to speak. Somehow without my noticing she had slipped her hand in between the seat and was now gripping something very hard. Something was now very wrong. I could sense it. Fear started to course through my body, my veins, like acid. I think I started to hyperventilate, because I was getting dizzy.

"Marie," she began with a sigh, "I'm sorry and not really sorry about this. Like I've told you many times before, you were a mistake. Perhaps your father and I could have had a happy life together if it wasn't for you. But I don't know anymore. He was so fond of you, and I was, and still am, not. I'm only glad I can correct my mistake now." If it was possible, I felt my eyes go wider. My fear was even stronger, and it felt like I was going to scream. But I didn't. What was happening? What would she do? What _was_ she doing?

Suddenly, mom drew a huge butcher knife out from between the console and the seat. That was the thing that she had been gripping –and still was. But I only had ten seconds to look at the grizzly blade before she swung it at me, aiming for my stomach first.

Then it hit, slicing me open and plunging in, deep. Since I was so thin, and the blade was so long, I think it cut almost all the way through me. I stared at it open-mouthed, watching the blood drip and turn my dress a darker shade red. I touched the knife handle lightly with my hand and then pulled back, staring at my own blood. There was no way I would be able to pull the knife out by myself.

But I didn't have to. My mother pulled it back out, and I grimaced in pain as I felt the cold stainless steel blade running against my tender flesh and insides. I thought she was going to stop, but I was wrong.

This time she aimed for my chest, making sure that I was really going to die. The bloody knife was only a blur in the air before it hit me again, going in as deep as before. Except in my chest, where I was sure to die. It was only a few centimeters away from the base of my throat, and a lot more blood poured out of this wound, streaming down my chest like a slow waterfall. I felt the metal inside me, touching my insides, and I finally felt something. Tremendous pain. Though I was unable to cry out, I still felt it, and it was definitely the worst and last beating my mom had or would ever give me. At least I would never have to be hurt again.

I felt what was left of my blood drain out of my face, and I stared at the blade that was sunk in my chest to the handle, so it could go no farther. Everything seemed like it was in slow motion now. I barely felt or noticed anything besides the knife in my chest, how much blood was coming out of me, and the searing pain I felt everywhere, not just my knife wounds. I tried to touch it again, but pulled back because the pain rippled through me even harder. I couldn't find it in me to cry as I stared at my now blood-soaked hands.

How could my mother have done this? This was bad, even for her.

Cynthia stopped the car. She leaned over and opened the door, meanwhile unbuckling my seat belt. Then she roughly pushed me out onto the side of the gravelly highway.

I landed on my side, the knife pressing into the road, putting pressure on my chest. But I felt almost numb now, so it didn't matter.

"Good-bye, Marie. Forever." She was leaned onto the passenger seat as she said it, staring at me. I gazed back with a blank face. There was no way I would let her see my pain, even in the end.

She then proceeded to close the door, and turn the car around in the opposite direction, away from my broken and bleeding body. As she got farther and farther away, it became darker and darker.

I dropped my head to the ground, waiting for the end to come and take me. Staring at the loose and wet gravel I was lying on, and dying on, I began thinking. Blood was starting to turn the gray and black gravel red.

I understood that my blood was quickly leaving my body. I could feel it. It was one of the only things I could feel besides nothingness and pain. It was freezing, wet, and pitch black. And all I wanted was to die. At least I wasn't the one who had caused this, and committed suicide. This was just a bit nobler of a way to die.

My thoughts flitted to one irrelevant thing after another. Nobody was coming to get me, to find me. It was good that I had already given up, so I didn't have another hope that would end up in disappointment when I died. What would happen when I died, anyway? I'd never thought about that.

_Enough, _I had to tell myself as I laid my head on the ground. I didn't want to think anymore.

Just wait.

I estimated I had about one to two minutes left. The less time I had the better.

Now I felt like I was slowly receding into myself. Crawling back into a dark corner in my mind where I felt nothing, no more pain. I just watched my last moments on Earth. Everything was shutting down; I felt my heart slowing and my breathing turning shallow. I was barely able to think anymore.

But then I felt familiar hands turning my body upwards… cold hands.

I hardly found the power to do anything anymore but I did recognize him. Damian. I didn't have enough brainpower to ask myself questions.

His expressions surprisingly registered in my mind. It was a mix of pain, but of deep conviction.

Damian crouched over me, almost sitting on me, doing something that I could barely keep up with. With one hand, he brought a syringe out of his jacket pocket.

With the other hand he pulled the knife out of my chest. I was well beyond feeling the pain of that. I saw if it were possible, more blood pour out of the wound. Whatever he was doing, he was doing it quickly, so quickly that his hands were blurs. Or was that just my mind, playing tricks on me? I didn't know, and didn't care.

What was he doing anyway? There was no way to save me. There probably wasn't enough blood in my body to keep my heart running anymore. I almost certainly wouldn't even last one more minute.

Consciousness was slipping away from me, and I fought to keep my eyelids open. Black spots covered most of my vision. The only thing that was almost clear was Damian, but he was mostly blurry, too.

His face was strained now, but he tried to stop the bleeding by putting one of his marble cold hands over my chest wound. It only worked a little, but it was too late. There was nothing he could do. _Just give up, it will make it easier for you and I,_ was my last thought. I watched uncomprehendingly the last thirty seconds of my life.

With the needle in his right hand, he poked it in on the arm he was using to stop blood from coming out of me. He drew a pearly coloured liquid. It shone almost silver in the moonlight. Could that be blood? Pearly coloured _blood_?

He brought the needle up to an artery in my neck. But just before he pricked my skin with it, he leaned down and brought his lips up to my ear to whisper quickly. Damian's voice was strained and quiet, almost too low to hear. His words came out melded together.

"I'm sorry for this but it is your destiny and my duty. I'll see you when it's over." The last part I barely made out from the other parts. Although my thoughts were rendered simplistic and there were barely any to begin with, they began to yet again, panic. _What was he talking about? _

I began to slip into oblivion... then I felt the needle go in and the liquid inside it enter my nearly dry veins.

Damian kissed my cheek lightly.

"It'll be over soon," he promised. What...?

And that's when the pain took over. I wasn't aware of the outside world. I had been pulled sharply out of the oblivion I had been slipping peacefully into, and was now trapped in my thoughts, and the pain. Or, rather, I was trapped with pain and memories.

It felt as if I was lit on fire, burned to ashes, and then materialized again so I could be burnt again. On top of that, all of the painful memories since I was born began to play in my head at lightning fast speed… at first. I relived all my worst experiences. Every beating my mother had given me, and all the emotions that followed. Pretty much my whole life flashed before my eyes. It began to slow down when I neared the most recent memories. I found that even that I wanted to scream, I couldn't.

Every wound, every pain filled; hated; agonizing emotion, every hate filled word someone had ever said to me. All remembered and relived. Why was I being tortured before I die? Because I knew I was surely dying… When I had first started being tortured, my heart sped up, went to normal speed, and now it was slowing like when I was dying on the road. _Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump. Thump. _

The last memory was the one where my mother had killed me; stabbed me. I felt the unyielding blade go in again. All the way through me, the cold metal blade cutting and touching my insides. Then there were the emotions. I was not sure whether the emotions or the wounds were worse. Hurt, pain, shock, and hatred. How could my mother have done that to me? I know she hated me, but why would she go to that extreme?

Suddenly, the memory stopped. It was the end. Everything went white, like a giant void. Then the white turned black.

_Thump... Thump... Thump... Thu- _

My heart stopped.

†

Confused, I lay wherever I was for a few more minutes, my eyes closed. Something really bizarre was going on here. I swear my heart had stopped, but I had never felt more… _alive_, I guess I would call it. There was no other way for me to describe it. Even with my eyes tightly shut, I was very aware of a lot of things around me. This felt unreal… could it be just a hallucination?

I didn't remember having these kinds of senses before… _before what?_ I didn't remember what had happened to me. But there were a lot more things to be concerned about than that.

Like how the air I was somehow still breathing carried many more scents then I was used to… it was almost overpowering. Some of the smells I didn't even recognize, but were oddly pleasant. I don't know how I had ever missed them before.

Then there was my hearing. I heard a murmuring of voices coming from what I thought should be a hundred yards away since they sounded so distant. But I heard them crystal clear. Unless they were having a fight and yelling at each other, it _shouldn't _be possible for me to hear them. There was definitely something wrong here.

"How are you going to tell her?" I heard someone whisper. That was Chris. I was sure of it.

"I really have no clue. This has been hard for me." The voice sounded tired and worn out, but I recognized it instantly. I could never mistake that voice, no matter how distraught it may be. Damian. That brought back some memories… but not enough to make sense of what was going on.

I tried to move, but not with much success. Every time I tried to move, sharp little spikes of pain seared through my muscles, making it entirely impossible to move. It was almost like when I had broken my ribs, now only worse and all over my body.

As I moved my hand, I felt it brush up against what I was wearing; a silky, grimy fabric. The silky part felt sort of like… a dress… but what would I be doing wearing a dress? Everything I was taking in right now didn't add up. I finally forced open my eyes.

Above me was a vast canopy of leaves, with pieces of sky barely peeking out from between the branches. Everything was so sharp and clear, it was unbelievable. It seemed I could see every tiny detail of everything I looked at, every once-hidden feature of a leaf's surface, so far up above me… I felt the ground beneath me; let my hands graze over it. Everything was damp and mushy, like the forest. The ground was definitely covered in moss, and I was definitely somewhere in the forest. How had I ended up here? The questions were piling up in my head; so much of them that it felt like my head would explode any minute. I needed answers, _now._

"Damian?" My surprise and confusion only increased when I heard my voice calling out for Damian. I was expecting it to match how I felt right now; groggy, lost, confused, and disoriented. But it came out clear; it had actually improved. _How?_ Unlike before it was now beautiful. It may be a vain thing to think, but what else could I say? _What had happened to me?_ My memory was so fuzzy…

What I hadn't realized before in my bewilderment and disbelief at how my voice sounded was that everything had become deathly quiet. I couldn't even hear Chris or Damian's talking and… and _breathing_ anymore. I couldn't hear the animals make a sound. But suddenly I heard footsteps almost silently make their way quickly over in my direction. And then all I could see was Damian's astonished, worried, and yet still stunning face. His dazzling looks seemed even more beautiful than they had been before. I could see every facet and inch of everything now. It was absolutely… breathtaking.

But all the same, I flinched into the ground at his closeness. I had expected that he wanted to attack me…

His expression looked just as confused as mine probably did now. But I think he had me for the shocked appearance. He looked absolutely appalled.

"Do you remember?" Great; as if I could get anymore lost then I was now. He just made it worse.

"How about a 'hello' first?" He frowned slightly, but a tiny smile appeared on his lips.

"Hello. Can you answer me now?" I clucked my tongue and pretended to look thoughtful for a minute. He groaned. For some reason, I felt very slaphappy right now, and I couldn't contain my teasing.

"Fine; but before I answer that, I want you to be a bit more specific. I have many memories, so which one? It might help in my answering." His gorgeous emerald green eyes widened.

"So you _do _remember?" He sat down on the muddy ground beside me; it almost seemed like he collapsed from surprise… and grief.

"Yes, I guess. Why wouldn't I? And why do you want to know so badly?" I did remember everything… except last night. I still needed those answers from him, too. But first he had to answer the ones I had just asked him. He _had_ to. What was he doing here anyway? That was just another question to put atop my pile of inquiries.

I finally sat up as Damian raked his pale hands through his dark hair in frustration.

"This just makes it harder…" He mumbled under his breath.

"What makes 'it' harder?" I asked between my teeth. My good mood had all but disappeared; I was the one getting annoyed now.

"I will explain later. But right now, how are you feeling?" I rolled my eyes and just gave him a look. He sighed. I told him anyway, just to placate him. So he would answer some other questions I had coming.

"I feel awful. Is that better?" He looked at me playfully, but sorrow retained in his perfect eyes. I hated to see that.

"Not in the slightest. I don't like hearing that you feel awful." He flinched when he finished that last sentence. I cocked my head to the side confusedly. He quickly and slyly changed the subject, not wanting me to notice. But I noted it, and narrowed my eyes a bit. What was wrong with him now? All the apologies from him before, and now all this sorrow he was radiating for something that I had no idea about. He was hard to follow right about now. And that was saying something because even though I had only known him for a couple months, I felt like I knew him a whole life time.

"So you want to know what happened to you last night." I looked down and nodded slightly. How his voice sounded next really surprised me. I'd never heard him that sad, depressed, and spiteful all at once before.

"I'm not really sure you want to. That's why you're supposed to forget everything when the change is over." My head snapped up, and an unusual anger boiled within me.

"What change? What do you mean, 'I'm supposed to forget?_' Do you have any idea how confusing this is to me right now_? I wake up in the middle of the forest, not able to move, and pulling up a blank for what happened last night." I pronounced each word distinctly, letting venom singe each word. The uncommon fury was startling to me. He looked away from me, and his voice came out in a whisper.

"Actually, I do. And I know how hard it is. But can you please cooperate and calm down so I can explain what happened? It's going to be a huge blow to your world." I was losing my patience and my sanity now. I was shouting at him from the ground, but I had to get up, no matter how much pain it caused me.

Avoiding collision with Damian's head, I swiftly and gracefully pulled myself up off the ground, so unlike myself.

"_What change? What happened?" _I practically screamed at him. The sound was practically deafening; I would be surprised if no one from town had heard me… _if_ I was anywhere near town. I still didn't have a clue where I was, other than I was in a forest.

Damian answered me in a serious tone, yet his voice was much quieter then mine; almost as a rebuff against my loud one.

"Fine. You died last night." I had been glaring at him, and in a tense and ready-to-fight position, but as soon as I had heard that all my muscles almost gave out. That was definitely something that was unexpected. My eyes widened. And I could not believe what I was hearing. I started to teeter on my feet, since my muscles wouldn't work anymore. I must've looked like a ghost, for real.

"What? What do you mean?" Although my voice was calm now, I sounded like a lost and scared child. I was frozen where I stood, now.

"Technically, you did die. And you are dead right now. Being immortal is just as good as being dead." I had a feeling I was not supposed to hear that last part. And from what he said made me believe more in my hallucination theory.

"I still don't understand though. How am I an 'immortal'? How is that even possible?" This just couldn't be true. Immortal beings were mythical things. And mythical things weren't real.

There was a deep pause, and it seemed like what was left of my already horrible life came crashing down on me. I remembered lying on the icy cold gravel, blood pooling around my body… Being a mythical thing was the _only _way to explain why I was still breathing with no heartbeat, no pulse. And I knew this was no hallucination now. There was no way it could be. At least I could _try_ and fix the life I had before, but now there was no way. What would I do for the rest of eternity?

I sank down to the ground, clutching my head in total aggravation and denial. I didn't know what to think of the world anymore.

Suddenly he was not centimeters away from me, holding my face and looking into my eyes. I almost bared my teeth and snapped at him, but I restrained myself. _What had happened to me?_

"I know you don't deserve this, Marie, and I never would've done it if I wasn't given an order to."

That stopped me short; shocked me even more. _He was the one who had done this?_ Damian? The one who I had trusted, let into my life, and had been friend with for weeks now?

That drove me over the limit, and I started to quiver. My vision turned blood red. But there were two more things I had to ask him before I would run away.

"And… what… exactly… did you… change me … into?" My words came out half-strangled with anger. I didn't dare look at his expression, so I just kept glaring icily at the ground.

Damian didn't speak for a long moment, and when he did, his voice was very reluctant and sad.

"You're a vampire." My eyes widened in absolute horror. A _vampire_…? I became even more appalled as I realized what being a vampire entailed.

I would have to take other people's lives to give me the sustenance to live. I absolutely _hated_ the sight and smell of blood. Everything suddenly came crashing down on me and I realized that this was just all way too much.

I quickly slapped his hands away.

"Whoopee. Thanks _so_ much for all you've done for me. I really appreciate it." My voice was dripping with sarcasm. Sarcasm was my only weapon right now. I had absolutely nothing else to rely on. In an instant I was on my feet staring at a shocked Damian. And this would be my last question.

"Why didn't you just tell me that you were a vampire?" Now he was on his feet and staring at me blankly.

"How was I supposed to tell you? You would have just run away screaming from me, and then changing you would've been harder for the both of us."

"No it wouldn't have! I like you for who you are, Damian, and even if you had told me you were a vampire before, it wouldn't have mattered!"

"You don't understand." His voice was unnaturally calm and unnerving. My anger stirred inside me again, barely startling me this time. I was too distracted.

"_What more is there to understand?_ No wait; don't answer that. I don't want to hear it, and don't want to be here anymore."

"Wait–" He was cut short because I was already two hundred yards away, just entering the trees.

One thing was for certain –I was way faster now then I was when I was human. Hopefully it would take me farther away from Damian.

Trees flew by me at a lightning fast speed, missing me by centimeters. I felt like a ghost; a wraith twisting through the trees at a speed like this. It was crazy how my dress didn't catch on anything, or that I didn't trip. But I wasn't really in the mood to appreciate _anything_ about being a vampire. About being a new me. Right about now, I was feeling betrayed, angry, and shocked all at the same time. There was no denial anymore; how else could I weave my way through trees and avoid debris at this speed?

I had to fight back angry tears as I ran. That among my newly developed senses, especially smell, made me feel like I was a bomb about to explode.

My feet scarcely made a sound as they only just touched the ground when I ran. So it was much easier to hear someone approaching behind me. Or, make that two people.

I didn't think it was possible, but I sped up, pushing myself past my new limits. Wow, I was only, what a few-hour-old vampire, and I was already testing my limits? I doubted anyone else had been put through this… I heard shouts from way behind me, pulling me off my train of thought.

"Stop! Marie, please wait and let me explain!" I didn't need to hear why, and I didn't really want to either. It was probably just an excuse to make me stop anyway. There would probably be no explaining involved.

_He_ had turned me into a vampire, and ruined what was left of my miserable life; yanked what was left from under my feet. I could've probably fixed it, but now…

I must've run fifteen kilometers from where I had been before, and I was surprised that I was not yet getting tired.

Suddenly, Damian and Chris's footsteps got a lot closer. I tried to go faster, but I was at my limit and couldn't go any faster then I was already. I was going to get caught, unless I fought them. And we all know how that would end for me… badly.

The footsteps weren't even a meter away from me, and then I felt a hand grab me around the waist and pull me backward. I saw a flash of Damian's face and wrestled him off, elbowing and doing anything to shake him off. He stumbled backwards, and then righted himself. He sighed heavily, then in one fluid movement, crouched down like a cat about to pounce.

Then, in a split second, he was gone and then tackled _me_ on the ground, landing on top of me.

He immediately tried to pin my arms up over my head, but I just fought back with all the strength I had, trying to push him off and away. He was starting to struggle against me, and I almost had him off me, when Chris joined in. Chris took my arms and pinned them behind my head while Damian pinned my legs and torso down. Even though there was no point to fighting back anymore since I had lost, but I still tried.

"Jesus she's strong, even for a new born…" Chris muttered, still working to keep my arms down. I didn't like hearing that. It just made me feel even more abnormal than I already was. I squirmed madly.

"It's too bad it had to come to this. Will you please calm down? You're going to hurt yourself." Ya, what did he care? He had already hurt me enough.

No matter how hard I thrashed, I couldn't get them off me. _Why wouldn't they just leave me alone? _

And in that instant, I gave up. I was never going to win. I stopped struggling, and just laid there limply on the ground, the boys' arms were still holding down my small frame cautiously. It felt like something died inside me. I identified it as my will to fight, since I felt there was no point in resisting any longer.

My life was over because of _him_.


	10. Chapter 10: Change

Chp 10: Change

Damian looked at me worriedly, but loosened his grip on my legs. Chris's grip didn't slacken any, though.  
"Are you okay, Marie?" I looked right into his eyes. I was still panting unneeded oxygen into my lungs, but I responded breathlessly anyway.  
"How would I be all right, Damian? I'm a prisoner now, from what you've just demonstrated. Isn't it enough that you changed me into a vampire and ruined what was left of my already miserable life? Why couldn't you just let me be?" He winced as I said it. I just kept staring into his eyes, but it didn't seem to faze him. What I had said did, though.  
"I know that... and I am truly sorry for it. I don't want you to think of yourself of a prisoner. And I never would've changed you unless it was for the command I was given. I was ordered to change you, and believe me; I never would've if it weren't for that."  
"Save it. I don't want to hear your excuses. Especially your apologies. I think I've had enough of those for a lifetime." My voice was dead serious, and monotonous, not displaying emphasis or emotion. But Chris started laughing hysterically. Damian elbowed him in the ribs to silence him, and then looked back at me.  
"I'm going to explain anyway. Maybe you'll think of it in a different light after I explain." Humph. As if that would, or ever could, happen. He continued.  
"Just let me stress that you are not a prisoner. We need you for a specific purpose, and then we will let you go."  
"Who is 'we' and for what exact purpose do you need me? I'm no good for anything." Damian flinched yet again, though he tried hard to hide it. Maybe if I were human, I wouldn't have spotted that tiny little movement...  
"Well, 'we' is the vampire council. They've been ruling and enforcing vampire laws across the world for centuries. And for your other question, I'm not quite sure yet. But the council will tell me when they're ready." I looked at him incredulously.  
"Whatever. Now what are you going to do with me?" He finally broke our little staring contest, to look down at the ground, hiding his face from my view behind his eye length dark brown locks of hair.  
"We're going to the school." I tried to find his face again, and my own still emotionless.  
"School?" Yay. Even as a vampire I had to go to school.  
"Yes. It's where all the vampires, or, rather, newborn vampires live and learn how to be what they are."  
"Are you two newborns?" Chris and Damian both looked at me with surprise and shock. Chris just laughed at me, and Damian now began our staring contest again.  
"Do...we... look... like ...newborns?" Chris choked out between laughs. I now glared at him, though I was still like a zombie inside.  
"No, we're not. Far from it. I'm almost five years older then Chris, but we are both over three hundred years old. I was born in the sixteen hundreds." Damian answered me. I just couldn't believe that. Although I couldn't really feel, I knew deep down I was shocked. How had these two adapted to the ages? And wouldn't they have a different view of the world if they were that old? There were a lot of things that I had to question about these two...  
"Cool. So can you let go of me now, so I can get up? I really don't like lying on this earthy damp ground, you know." Damian immediately let go of my legs, though I could see he was a bit reluctant. He still thought I was going to run away? That shows how much he trusts me...  
Chris didn't let go right away. He picked me up by my arms, and held tightly onto one of them as we began to make our way through the forest, heading to what I thought was going to be Chris's car.  
"Can you let go of me, Chris? I'm not going to run away again. And even if I did, you'd catch me right away." I mumbled dully. Chris ignored me, and only gripped harder. If I had a circulation, it would be cut off by now.  
"Chris let go of me." I said louder and more firmly. I didn't want to be touched by him. It felt by far, wrong.  
All of a sudden, Damian was beside me. He took my hand lightly in his own, and nodded toward his brother to let go of me. Chris grudgingly let go. And even though I was still very angry and felt betrayed by Damian, it still felt a whole lot better to be holding his hand rather then Chris's.  
We trudged at a normal, human pace through the forest, which was surprisingly easy. I wanted to run free again, but that wouldn't happen since they would probably think that I was trying to escape. Again.  
I didn't trip on the giant roots and rocks like I would've before. I could probably describe my movements as elegant and graceful now, although I wouldn't really want to call it that. I hated attention. And if people from town saw me now, I would get a lot of attention. Since I was still wearing my blood soaked dress. But as I thought of that, I frowned. How had that happened? Maybe Damian had gotten some blood on me if he had bitten me, because that is how you turn vampire, right? I couldn't remember what had happened.  
We were nearing the edge of the forest, and the road. I looked over the big, beautiful green forest as we walked through, taking in its gorgeousness. I didn't know if I would ever be in this place again. Maybe this would be my last walk through the forest. I wouldn't miss town or anyone in it, but I did know that down the line I would miss the forest, if I ever got feeling back. You couldn't go through the whole eternity emotionless, right?  
We reached the road, and Chris's shiny black Eclipse. I let go of Damian's hand all too willingly as soon as we had gotten within a few meters of the car.  
I opened one of the back doors, and got in smoothly, not hitting my head on the roof as I expected I would. I didn't bother doing up my seatbelt; what good would it do me anyway? I was already dead. Plus, I didn't think there was a chance of Chris or whoever was driving to hit something with their reflexes.  
Chris and Damian got in right after me, Damian getting in the passenger seat while Chris claimed the driver's seat.  
They did up their seatbelts, and then we began driving. Positioning myself to look out the black tinted windows, I gazed out at what I was leaving behind. Then we were moving too fast so that everything was blurring. I couldn't pick anything in particular from the green blur that was the forest, or the grey blur that was the road, but I could swear I saw a brownish-crimson stain on the side of the road as we sped up, and left my old life behind. I wonder what had happened there.

It looked like the color of dried blood. And only a few minutes after making that assessment, then disregarding it, I made the connection between the dried blood on my clothes and that of the stain on the road.

"Wow, you are messy, aren't you?" I mumbled it under my breath, not meaning for anyone to hear it, but obviously Damian did.

"What are you talking about?" I looked over at him.

"When you bit me, you got blood all over the place." I motioned to my dress, and then said, "It's all over the road back there too. You must have bled me dry," I began to joke without humour, and Damian looked very lost. Chris looked astonished.

"You bit her? You were supposed to use the needle."

"I did use the needle. You know that." He snapped at his brother before turning back to me.

"I didn't bite you Marie. Don't you remember how you died?" I thought for a moment. Of course I did. Apparently he had used a needle to inject me with… something so he could change me into a vampire.

"Yes, obviously. You changed me into what you are, and now I'm dead." Damian looked like he wanted to roll his eyes, but knew better than that.

"Well, yes in a way. But you have to be at the point of death before you're changed. Then I inject you with my blood and you become a vampire." Realizing what he finally meant, I glared at him.

"So essentially you killed me twice: once _to_ change me, then you actually changed me." My voice held no accusation, but I'm pretty sure without meaning to, my eyes did. Damian looked just as lost as he did before. Then comprehension crossed his face.

"You just don't remember _how exactly_ you died. Do you remember any of last night?" Concentrating, I began to retain bits and pieces of the night before.

I recalled that my mom had been acting weird for some reason all night. And so had Damian, gazing at the top of my head every few seconds all day, and all of his unexplained apologies… then mom had dragged me to a dance…. Had made me wear this dress… Guys were bothering me at the dance… I danced with _Damian_… Then mom was driving us away from the dance, a little bit agitated then… and that's all I could remember.

"Yes. I remember most of yesterday, and everything before that. I just can't remember how I died… it must have been done by one of you though." I glared at them both. Chris's face remained emotionless while Damian sighed, seeming a bit frustrated.

"I'm not sure if I should tell you how, or by who. But you have to know that neither of us did it." Now my glower only focused on him.

"Spill it. Now." He shook his head tightly.

"I can't tell you. It's the one reason why none of us are supposed to remember anything before we were transformed. You're not supposed to remember how you died, or anything before it. Now you have to live with the things you did before you died forever." I became curious momentarily.

"How do you know all of this?" He looked out of the window ahead of him now, and sighed.

"I've been alive a very long time, Marie, and I'm just like you. I can remember how I died, and everything before it." More intrigue sparked within me.

"Really? Then how did you die?"

"A mob killed me. They thought I had been involved with vampirism. I wasn't. Until Nathaniel- the top council member- changed me. I got a stake through the heart. A few seconds later Nathaniel showed up and transformed me."

"He did it in front of people?" His brow puckered.

"Obviously not. He got us away from the crowd first, out into the country before he bit me."

"So back then vampires bit people to change them?"

"Yes. But they realized it was more efficient to transform people by injecting people with their blood then biting them. There is a more concentrated amount of venom in our blood. When they started to do that, vampires were almost immune to sunlight. Our senses weaken when we step into sunlight. Some even become delirious. But I was one of the lucky ones, and am able to walk in the sunlight. The other not-so-lucky ones can't go into sunlight without losing all their heightened senses. They essentially become human again when they step into the light, but it's only temporary. And when you have enemies, it's not such a good thing."

I guess that was understandable. It was only too bad that when you stepped into the sunlight that you wouldn't be able to stay human.

There was a silence as I digested all the information. And there were only a few more questions I had to have answered before I would be able to sit silently and obediently in this car.

"You still haven't told me how I died," My voice came out unusually calm.

There was a long silence, and I began to wonder if he was going to answer me or not. But then I heard him breathe heavily.

"I told you, you don't want to know. It's best if you don't."

"And I told you I don't care, I want to hear it." He groaned, frustrated.

"You don't want to hear it. It's going to hurt you Marie." I rolled my eyes, confident that it wouldn't be that bad.

"It can't be that horrible." I wished at that moment that I could see Damian's face for his reaction.

"It is. I don't think even the way I died could measure up to what happened to you." That really confused me. Could there be anything worse then being chased by a mob of people who you knew, driving a stake through your heart?

"I still want to know." There was another awkward silence, and I think he was determining whether or not he would tell me.

"You know how you died, don't you? Why can't I? There really isn't a difference." At that he turned around to look me straight in the eyes. His eyes were barely green anymore. There was a tiny rim of it around his pupil, but other then that his eyes were coal black. Plus, there was a fire burning in them. It put me on edge; I'd never seen him lose his cool like this.

"Yes, there is Marie. You were killed by someone who's been fairly close to you all your life, murdered in the most brutal way. It was absolutely horrible to watch. And I can't believe you were put through that. I could've stopped it if I wanted to, but I didn't. As I said before, even if you don't remember, it was your fate. No one is even supposed to remember what happened to them. I'm not going to say anymore." I could feel the shock on my face, and immediately my mind tried to make sense of what he said. Someone close to me…

He was facing the front once more, and I couldn't see his face in the side mirror; he was angled in a position so that I wouldn't be able to. My face had a defiant stare on it.

"You know, I will be able to figure it out. I'm not that stupid. And from the information you just gave me, it narrows it down a lot considering that I barely had anyone close to me." He didn't say anything. And as twilight fell across the forest we were still driving through, my mind was working in overtime. The only people that had been really close to me were my dad, and he wasn't a possibility since he was dead. The there was Damian, and he said he hadn't killed me, but I didn't know what to believe on that one. Then there was Janet. But she hadn't been really close to me; she just hated my guts because I always hung out with Damian and when I didn't want to. Other than that, I really didn't know why she hated me.

Was it possible that Janet had been at that dance that I had apparently gone to, and she smashed my skull in with one of those ice swan punch bowls? That would explain why there was so much blood and how I woke up with no memory of the event, but I don't think Janet could have that much muscle in her pipe arms as to kill me with a punch bowl…

So that only left me with… my mother. And as I came to the realization, my eyes widened. _My mother had killed me._

The memory flooded back. My mother driving us along a back road, her drawing a knife up from in between the console and the seat, her stabbing me, driving it in deep and my blood flowing profusely from the wounds she created on my chest and stomach. I felt like I was going to be sick, even though now that was entirely impossible. _Oh my god._ I remembered the intense pain of the blade going all the way into me, the way the metal felt inside me. My fingers traced absently over where she had stabbed me, not feeling a scar but dried blood.

The feelings may be even worse than the wounds she made. I couldn't get over the fact that she had done that to me. I knew she hated me, but to go to those extremes to get rid of me? Why not just kick me out? I had thought the exact same things, too when she did the deed. Now I remembered every single little detail in perfect clarity.

"You remember." Damian's voice pulled me off my train of thought, and now I was staring at the back of his head, trying to control the emotions coursing through me. He must've been able to tell by my facial expressions.

"Obviously." I failed miserably at my attempt of sarcasm. I felt like I was on the verge of tears, and my voice was very strained. It made Damian turn around to look at me worriedly.

"Are you all right?" I couldn't say anything right now, even though I wanted to scream at him that no, I was not in fact, all right. What on Earth made him think I could be?

Damian's eyes widened for some reason around the time I felt something icy cold and wet roll down my cheek. I reached up to touch it, and drew back my hand to see my fingertips were a shiny iridescent colour.

"You're crying," He said in amazement. What was the big deal? Everyone could cry, couldn't they?

"What's wrong? Haven't you ever seen someone cry before?" I was trying vainly to cheer myself up with sarcasm, but yet again it didn't work. Pearly tears were now rolling freely down my face.

Damian's eyes remained wide and fixed on my face.

"I've never seen a vampire cry." I grimaced.

"Are they really that tough?" He looked away from the tears on my face to my eyes, and then he rolled his eyes.

"No. It's just that, we _can't_ cry."

"Why not?" He sighed.

"Well, when you turn, all that is left is blood and venom. We don't have any other bodily fluids. And unless you're crying blood, which it looks like you are, then we can't cry. It's virtually impossible to cry for our kind, and it looks like you've broken that reality rule." Oh great. Even as a vampire I was set apart, different from other people.

"Well I think what I am right now is breaking reality rules." He let out a small laugh.

"Well, I guess. That's what I first thought." He turned around and started to stare out the window. Much like I wanted to do right now.

Looking back out the window, I realized it was no longer twilight. It was dark out, and I could see everything crystal clear. It was amazing… I could pick out and distinguish everything in clarity. The heightened senses and abilities was a plus, but was it really worth it? Living forever in the darkness? I had yet to know if I could step into the sunlight without becoming human temporarily. I also had yet to know why I, of all people, was picked out of billions of other people on the planet to be turned. Why me? I was no different than other people. Actually, on the other hand, I was probably worse. If I was not good at doing anything as a human, what made being a vampire change everything?

I breathed heavily, trying to calm myself down for what was coming. Apparently we were going to some kind of vampire school. And I had to keep my cool and be absolutely open minded for all the time I was to be there, because otherwise I would probably break down and go into a hysterical fit, screaming that everyone around me was a lunatic and that this was all one big joke. And thinking about that, I would probably have to do that the rest of my damned life. Great. Just great. Life would be loads of fun for the rest of the eternity. And I couldn't help asking myself how I had ended up in this mess in the first place.

We sped down back-roads for the rest of the night. And none of us said another word, either, even though I had many questions that I still needed answers to. We could've been driving for hours, but I wasn't counting. Right now, I wasn't in a particularly good mood, as anyone could tell. I had just been changed into a vampire, been whisked away by two apparent vampires, and now was heading to a school of some sort. It would probably be more like an academy. I just couldn't picture a vampire high-school…

Suddenly Chris turned onto a gravely dirt road surrounded by very unkempt trees and bushes. I was surprised he was able to see it since it was hidden from view by most people, but he had probably had to do this many times, so he most likely knew the way off by heart.

Out of the blue, although not literally, came a huge, and what I presumed to be, ancient building. The dirt-gravel driveway led up to massive black-iron gates. Like the kind you see lining mansions and huge important buildings in movies. They were mostly overgrown with ivy, just as the old red bricks of the building were. The building itself must have been as big as two massive mansions put together. It must have been the biggest building I had ever seen. I'd only ever seen buildings like this in text-books.

Past the bars, the path we were on led up to the front, then branched off to the right stopping at what looked to be the entrance to an underground parking lot.

At first, the big building seemed kind of ominous. But as I examined it more closely, taking in the many huge windows and old architecture, it seemed more and more… I don't know, homey, I guess you could say. I know I didn't, and would never belong anywhere, but this was probably as close as I would get.

Chris started doing something that distracted my attention from what I assumed to be the school looming before us.

He pulled a pair of dog tags out of his pants pocket, and rolled down the window. There was a scanner attached to one of the brick poles the bars were connected to. Chris scanned a bar code on one of the dog tags. I noticed there was also his name on it, and a pair of black angel wings.

A few seconds after he had scanned the tag, a small beep came from the scanner, and the bars slowly opened, allowing us onto the grounds. As soon as the bars were open wide enough for us to squeeze through, Chris revved the engine and raced down the path, turning right and then turning into the opening.

It took us mere seconds before we emerged from the tunnel that had brought us down to what looked like a dungeon, but cars were parked everywhere.

The ceiling was dripping with precipitation, it was dark and dank, and immediately I smelled a musty scent. Exactly what you expected an underground parking lot to be.

Chris didn't have to look for a spot; he took one right beside a black Audi R8. Speedily, he turned off the engine and got out. But I hesitated before getting out. A thought crossed my mind to run.

"Come on Marie, we have to go to the office to get your dorm room number and paperwork." Chris said sharply. In a flash he was on my side of the car, opening my door for me, and motioning with his hand for me to get out. I scowled at him as I got up and out of the car in one graceful movement. It would have to take me a few days to get used to that.

Chris closed my door behind me, and locked up; meanwhile I noted Damian was frowning at Chris. I shrugged it off, not bothering to ask myself why, and turning away to look for the way up through the school. And just then, a thought crossed my mind. How on Earth would I fit in at a vampire school if I couldn't fit in at a regular school? Would people accept me? It would be a lot harder for me here, since I didn't know anyone except Chris and Damian. At least I knew who the people were, and what they could do in Salmo. But then again, did I even know Damian and Chris? They could've been making up everything before to make it easier for them to get closer to me. That thought just put me in a worse mood than I was already in.

"Are we going to bring her up there dressed like that?" Damian inquired Chris quizzically and incredulously.

Chris huffed.

"We have to. We can't take her any other way where people won't see her, and I don't have any clothes for her unless you have some in your car. Besides, she still has to tell Shelly what size of uniform she needs. It might take a little bit longer too, because Shell might have to hem the uniform. I've never seen a girl as small as her before," He said the last two sentences under his breath, like he didn't really mean for me to hear them. At that moment, I felt like turning around and doing something childish like sticking out my tongue, punching him, or doing something silly like that. Thank-god I didn't. I just ignored him, making sure my back faced him at all times.

But then I looked down at my ruined, dirtied dress and I began to worry. I couldn't let the first impression the people in this school got of me be me wearing this. It looked as if I had just stepped out of my tomb.

Blood stains were everywhere on my dress and dried on my skin. Then it was ripped and some parts, had mud on it from being on the forest floor. I looked more of a mess then I usually did. I glanced over at the boys worriedly.

"Umm, guys, I can't go up there like this. Don't you have a sweater or something I could borrow?" Chris shook his head.

"I burned all my old clothing. Other than going out on jobs with Damian, I never need casual clothes." I looked to Damian. He nodded, sending relief through me.

"I have a sweater in my car." He ran over to the Audi R8, unlocked it, and began to rummage around in the back seat.

Waiting patiently as I could at the moment, I looked over to Chris who was staring at me with a blank look on his face. I frowned.

"What?" I almost hissed at him. He shrugged, and kept on looking at me.

"You have no idea…" He said ominously, and grimaced. I cocked my head to the side.

"What do you mean?" But Damian cut him off. He had returned form his car, and was now handing me a plain black hooded sweatshirt. I took it form his extended hand.

"It is probably way too big for you, but since you wear things like that all the time, it will most likely not be a problem, right?" I nodded, slipping on the sweater over my head easily. He definitely knew me.

"Thank-you." He nodded in response. Chris began to walk quickly toward a staircase, and Damian and I followed right behind him.

As we started to ascend, I began to ponder over Chris's odd words. I had no idea what he had meant by them. I had no idea about a lot of things at the moment, so what exactly had he been talking about?

It seemed like seconds later when Chris pushed open a door with Damian and me behind him, into a grand hallway. It was spectacular.

The hall was very spacious; it was almost like a lobby. And the walls were some sort of dark wood, lacquered so much it was shiny. The floor was white marble, and the ceiling was very high up.

I stared at the hall's impressiveness, until I realized how crowded it was. There must have been at least a hundred people traveling through it, walking through it to get to different hallways just as ostentatious as this one leading every which and way. There was a door far away down the hall, which read 'Main Office' and I guessed that's where we were headed. Damian and Chris started to move into the crowd, but I paused yet again by the door of the stair case. People hadn't noticed me yet, and I didn't want them to notice me ever.

"Marie, come on. We have to go." Damian said quietly from where he had stopped a few feet away from me. I looked at him. It was amazing how he wanted to soothe me when he knew I hated his guts right now.

"I really don't want to be seen like this." I whispered fiercely. He sighed, and held out his arm. My eyes were questioning.

"I'll try and hide you then." Oh. He wanted to hide me from view with himself. I internally groaned. I didn't want to be anywhere _near_ him at the moment. But it was the only way I would be able to get past this crowd without them seeing me… I sighed, and joined him.

He wrapped his arm around me, almost making me invisible pressed into the side of him as he started to make his way swiftly through the crowd. We met up with Chris half way down the hall, and he smirked when he saw us, but I could see a hint of irritation also. What would he be irritated about?

And a few meagre seconds later, we were at the door to the main office. I sighed, thankful, as Damian let go of me. Well, it had worked. As we passed people, I made sure they didn't do a double-take or seem to look particularly interested if they saw us. No one did, and I was tremendously relieved.

We stepped through the door, and the first thing I saw was a huge mahogany desk, with a twenty-year-old woman behind it looking like she'd been pulled out of the forties.

In a pink professional-looking blouse, short voluminous red hair, pale white skin, and blood red lipstick, she looked like the standard house-wife of the forties.

"Hello, Shelly." Chris called brightly. The woman, according to Chris who was named Shelly, looked up from her computer and gave Chris a beautiful white-teethed smile. She definitely looked like she came form the fifties, it was eerie. She had a sharp chin, angular features, and protruding cheek bones. I couldn't get over it.

"Hello Chris. How are we today?" Her voice was old fashioned too, yet beautiful.

"We're great, thank-you, Shell. We've come to pick up Marie Alexander's paperwork and dorm number." She looked behind Chris who was leaning on the desk to stare at me. I was half standing behind Damian, and I edged behind him one more inch. She smiled at me.

"Welcome Marie." I nodded slightly, acknowledging her. She turned back to her computer and typed something in. When she had found what she needed, she looked back up at me and announced, "Your dorm number is thirty three. We have thirteen floors, and your room is on the eleventh, where most of the girls' dorms are. The top two floors are the boys' dorms and the eleventh and tenth are the girls' dorms. Chris and Damian will show you everything." I nodded shyly again and stored that information away for future reference. Shelly started to sift through some papers on her desk and gather them up. Her desk was very organized for the most part.

"Boys aren't allowed in the girl's dorms and same applies for the girl's in boy's dorms. There's an exception for the people who are mates, but they aren't allowed to sleep over. They have to be out by ten PM max. Here are your forms." She held out a fairly large stack of forms which Chris took from her. She looked past everyone to me.

"Do you know your size? I need to get you a uniform." A uniform? Oh great. I wouldn't be able to wear casual clothes, and they also wouldn't able to be baggy. The whole time I was here, I would be uncomfortable. I let out a tiny groan before I answered her.

"I don't really know… I usually wear size five or seven." Shelly's eyes held a bit of exasperation, but I could tell she was trying to be patient with me.

"Step out from behind him, I'll check to make sure." I looked up to Damian, and he nodded a reassurance before I stepped out into her view. She clucked her tongue in annoyance.

"Take that sweater off, dear. It looks way too big for you, and with it on you I can't tell." Groaning yet again, I stripped the sweater off in one movement over my head, and held I to my side, looking away, not wanting to see Shelly's reaction to my vulgar appearance. I heard her let out a tiny gasp. Then I heard her chuckle. I looked back at her to see a surprised expression still on her face, but she had humour in her eyes.

"What did you do with this one, boys? I don't think I've ever seen a person come back with them in worse condition than you are." I looked down at my toes again. Why was I more embarrassed than anything else at the moment? Shouldn't I be glowering at them murderously for what they did to me? I would've, if I had been normal. And that was another thing to thank Damian for… now I didn't know who I was anymore.

Now I could actually feel things for a change… the numbness had worn off back in the car, and now I didn't have it when I needed it most.

Shelly looked over me one last time, and finally came to a decision.

"I think you're about a… 2. I think I may have your size. You're extremely small; are you eighteen?" I shook my head slightly.

"I'll be eighteen in a few weeks." Her eyebrows rose, and she looked between me and Damian, a smile, almost a smirk on her face. I looked at her quizzically as she turned away, walking to the back of the very roomy office and into yet another room. I covered myself up with the sweater again, wrapping around myself slightly in case someone came in.

I heard a quiet, 'Ah!' from the other room, and all too soon Shelly was at her desk, holding a small plaid skirt, long sleeve white blouse, and a formal-looking black overcoat. I went up to her desk to take the clothes form her hand, and took a step back again. She sat back down and began to work again, and I guess that was our queue to leave. Damian was the first to turn around and exit, then Chris, then I, but just before I could leave, Shelly spoke once more.

"Damian will show you around, looking into class rooms and such. Make sure to fill out those forms as soon as possible. I need to know what classes you will be attending, and I will squeeze you into one. Orientation will start in a few days, and your actual classes will start a week and a half from now so you can get used to finding your way around the school. Once again, Marie, welcome to the Atrum Angelus Academy." I nodded, and exited out into the hallway to find Damian waiting for me, my papers in hand. He handed them to me, and then he began to lead me down a hallway. I followed robotically, my mind wandering off in different directions.

Atrum was my middle name. It meant 'dark' in Latin. My mother had gone through a Latin stage for some reason, and she just wanted to have my name in Latin, but my dad wouldn't have it. So my middle name was in Latin. And angelus… I think it meant 'angel'. I picked up a few words from my mother earlier and what else would angelus mean? It was remarkably close to angel, so why not…?

Why would this academy be called 'Dark Angel'? Oh well. No point to wondering about it. I had enough to think about at the moment as it was.

Suddenly, we were at a door labelled '33'. This must be my room. Somehow, we had gone up many flights of stairs, and walked through who knows how many hallways without my noticing and seemingly in seconds. Wow, I was oblivious.

"Marie? Are you alright? This is your dorm." Damian's voice brought me back to reality, and now I was looking dazedly at his concerned face. My eyes widened, and I shook my head, snapping out of it.

"Oh, yeah, I kind of dazed off there for a minute. Sorry." I slight smile touched his lips, but not much more than that. He seemed to be concerned still, and I could see some other emotion he was trying to keep hidden from me for the moment, but I couldn't identify it. A second later, he had a poker face on, so I was completely unable to read emotions on his face or in his eyes, yet alone the one he had on before. I frowned faintly.

"Okay. Well, I better go get changed… Oh, wait a minute." I was about to enter, but I stopped, a thought crossing my mind. He looked at me expectantly.

"Do I have a room mate?" He nodded. I bit my lip, and he stared at me weirdly for a moment. Uh-oh -an awkward moment. How could a simple little question like the one I had just asked make an awkward moment? I had to ask myself that.

"Uh… who is it?" What a stupid question to ask. He probably didn't know.

It seemed like he had come out of a daze, just like I had only minutes earlier, and he focused on my face, immediately answering my question to cover up what he had just experienced. He was confusing me right now.

"I think it is Katherine. She heard earlier that she was getting a new roommate, and she had been excited ever since. Go inside and meet her." Oh. It shocked me for a moment, but when I realized that this had been planned much earlier, a lot earlier than I had known, I narrowed my eyes in annoyance and anger. For some reason, that just really got to me. And especially the fact that Damian hadn't told me anything before, before he had gotten involved with my life and did it without my consent, or without me really knowing what was going on in the first place.

Damian was starting to turn away to leave, but I stopped him, pulling him back by the arm. He stared at me in surprise. At that moment, I think I looked as dejected as I felt.

"Why didn't you ever tell me? And don't give me the excuse that I wouldn't understand, just tell me. Please. I think I deserve to know." Damian lightly pulled his arm out of my grasp, and looked down at the floor, sighing before he would look up at my saddened face.

"I didn't tell you before, because I didn't think it would really matter if I told you anyway. As I've said before, people are supposed to forget their past when they're turned, so they can start out new. I didn't think you would remember, and that's why I didn't tell you. Honestly, there would've been no other reason I wouldn't have told you. I don't think you would have run away screaming like I said before; you are too open-minded and strong for that. Plus, you're very curious, so I think you would've stayed to investigate anyway. Is that a satisfying enough answer?"

Yes, it was. It went beyond that. I was stunned. So stunned, that I had nearly dropped my things. No one had ever told me those kinds of things about myself, and I was quite surprised that he would think like that about me. How had he picked those kinds of things up so quickly? I don't think even my parents knew that much about me.

Realizing that my mouth hung slightly open, and a little bit too much time had passed, I closed it and answered him.

"Yes, I guess. Thank-you." And with that, I handed him back his sweater, turned the knob of the door, and entered the room, closing the door quickly behind me. That had almost been too much for me to handle, and I felt like collapsing. My knees felt weak.

I heard almost silent footsteps turning away from the door and heading in the opposite direction. I breathed a sigh of relief, closing my eyes and relaxing.

Then I heard a small gasp. Opening my eyes in alarm, I looked to find two vampires sitting on an armchair, one female with long red wavy, curly hair flowing down her back and the other a male with fairly long black hair that was grown down to the middle of his neck. I noticed how petite the girl's figure was compared to the other vampire she was sitting on.

I immediately straightened up, staring at them with shock. But I think their shock overpowered mine as they looked me over. The girl was the most surprised.

Time passed, us just staring at each other in surprise, but I had to break the silence.

"Uhh… Hello. Are you Katherine? Because if this is your dorm I think I'm supposed to be your new roommate…" As soon as I said it, the girl's eyes brightened up, and she stood op from where she was sitting on the guy's lap, and came over to the door hastily to meet me. Now that she was up, I could tell she was even smaller than I had thought. Her figure rivalled mine, and I don't really now why I was thinking about it. It was probably because Shelly and the others had gotten me thinking about size.

The girl grabbed my hand roughly and shook it, over-excited as far as I could tell. She was beaming at me.

"It's Kathy." I frowned quizzically, not understanding what she was talking about. She answered the questioning in my frown.

"My name is Katherine, but I prefer to be called Kathy, if you don't mind." Her words were almost blended together by how fast she was talking. I heard the guy laugh in the background.

"Slow down Kathy, you're talking so fast the poor girl can't understand you." Kathy took no notice of him, and pulled me over to one of the couches to sit down. As she did I looked over the room. It was very large; it had two grand windows on the far wall with black shaded curtains hanging in front, then there were two beds one on the far right wall and another on the far left wall, also shaded from the window with black drapes. Then I could see what looked to be a bathroom door leading off from in front of the bed. Then there was this living area with an armchair, coffee table, love seat, and couch all spaced out evenly and comfortably. There was a large armoire off to my left in the corner, far away form where I was now sitting with Kathy looking intensively at me. There was a lot more to take in about this room, but I had to pay attention to the now bouncy Kathy. From the way the guy was reacting, I guess this was normal for her to be this jumpy. I sighed, trying to calm myself to tolerate her attitude.

"So, you are…? They didn't tell me your name." I held onto my uniform and papers in my lap, trying not to show annoyance about how I knew nothing before…

"Marie Alexander. Nice to meet you," I held out my hand to shake, but Kathy pushed it away and dove in for a hug. She squeezed me tightly, almost suffocating me, and I just patted her on the back. The guy chuckled.

Upon hearing his laugh, Kathy let me go and turned her head in his direction with an evil smirk on her face. The guy's face paled somewhat.

"And this is William Henry Lexington, or rather known as 'Reap' because people say he reaps his misery anywhere and everywhere he goes." All of a sudden, he was gone from the arm chair and standing beside Kathy in front of the couch. It startled me how quick it was; in a blink of an eye. He punched her in the arm playfully, and grabbed her in a vice grip, messing up her hair, meanwhile saying, "You know I don't like to be called that." Apparently she didn't like that. A scream erupted from her, almost blood-curdling, and I had to cover my ears.

And in the next moment she was out of his vice grip and back on the couch, straightening her hair out again.

"Not so hard, you know I don't mean it." She complained. He started to laugh again. I just stared, an innocent bystander. Kathy looked back at me, a little embarrassed now. It was almost impossible to believe now that she could be anything else but flighty. Not the best first impression on me.

"Sorry. I don't know what got into me." I nodded it was okay when Will piped in.

"She can get into those real spunky moods, but usually she's very sensible. Sometimes you can find her in a calm temperament, but only once in a century," She stuck her tongue out at him, and then turned back to me.

"Well… I guess you have to go change. But then you have to come right back, and we'll get to know each other a little, okay? Just the basic things… I'll get to know you better over the semester." She was grinning again. I groaned aloud, rolling my eyes to show my annoyance.

"I have to fill out these forms…" I was staring at Will apprehensively, and Kathy noticed. I didn't want to talk about myself, especially around Will. I didn't know why, but something in me went uneasy at the thought of talking about myself around him. She took the hint.

"Oh, don't worry. I will help you with those forms. I just have to send Will away for the night." Will didn't think too much of this that I noticed. But who knows? It looked like he was a very hard person to read, under his impenetrable stoic facial expressions. And, plus, I'd just met him; I couldn't read him. Kathy probably could, though. It looked like they'd known each other for awhile.

Kathy got up from the couch and headed over to the door, closely followed by Will. She opened the door and stepped out, Will following hastily beside her. She left still smiling at me. I was left alone in the huge room momentarily. And I took that time to think, and just look at my surroundings.

How on Earth would I survive while I was here? And it wasn't just how would I fit in, or how would I cope with myself and everyone else around me. It was something I hadn't given a thought before. I would have to drink blood.

If the legends were true about them, I would son be getting thirsty and I would go out and kill. Fangs sinking into a stranger's throat, and draining the precious life from their veins…

My hand moved up unconsciously to my mouth, checking my teeth to see if they were sharp and pointed. They weren't, and it confused me slightly. Maybe your fangs grew when you were stalking your prey…? Oh great. Now I was thinking like a predator. And it was scaring me. I didn't want to be this, and didn't want to take an innocent person's life. It felt wrong even thinking about it. What would I do when the time came? Would I claim a person's life? I probably wouldn't have this problem if I'd forgotten my humanity, like I should've, but I hadn't and the thought of killing someone, almost a fellow being, for their blood was horrifying. Maybe why that's why no one had a problem taking another's life, because they had forgotten what it was like to be human. So, in my case, it was really a blessing and a curse that I didn't forget. I would have to face the problem of depriving myself of blood, which I didn't know what the consequences were yet, and then remembering my humanity, making me more human than pretty much anyone here, except to Damian of course. He had said he didn't forget either.

All of a sudden, Kathy burst through the door, making enough noise to distract me from my thoughts. It was odd for me to hear this well, and I had to remind myself that she had only opened the door, and that she was jumping to and fro making loud noises to bug the hell out of me.

Swiftly, and finally silently, she came to sit beside me. When she saw my scowl, she had a questioning look in her eyes.

"Sorry. I'm just going to have to get used to the fact everything is so loud." She frowned then, perplexed.

"Was it ever quieter? I've always heard this loud. It's great; what are you complaining about?" Oh. _Oh_. That's when I realized Kathy didn't remember before she was changed.

According to her, she'd always had this kind of hearing. I immediately shut-up about it, not wanting her to find out my secret. Of course I didn't want her to know. She was still a stranger, and even then I didn't know if I wanted to share anything with her. Though, she did seem the type that could keep any secret and be loyal. I was surprised with myself about how quickly I had picked that up.

"Well, I guess you should go get changed now. I'll help you with the forms when you get back, and we have to talk meanwhile. Go take a shower and clean up. I'll be waiting for you." I wasn't looking forward to the 'talk' but I did want to ask her some questions… questions about being a vampire. That would be awkward. I think she assumed I knew everything.

I got up from the couch, crossing across the room to what I assumed to be the bathroom. I left my forms, but kept the uniform, hanging it on the door knob when I closed the door behind me.

I turned in a full three hundred and sixty degree circle, looking at the very grand bathroom. Well, greater than anything I'd ever been in. There was a white marble sink, full size bath tub, and a roomy shower, everything rimmed with gold. Everything about this place was both huge, and white. From what I'd seen so far, anyway. Apparently, I still had a lot to see.


	11. Chapter 11: Temper

Chp 11: Temper

After getting out of the shower, I felt much better about the situation. I guess being filthy before set me in a bad mood. All my dried up blood had washed off and left clear, pure white, unblemished skin. But the tone of skin had only gone whiter by a shade. I had been very pale to begin with.

Speedily, I dried off, even though I was dreading talking to Kathy. To admit the truth to myself, I was just doing everything so fast to investigate how fast I could go. It was a really weird feeling; going from human speed to vampire speed. Being a vampire, everything just sped up. Maybe time would. But I doubted it. Usually when you are anticipating something, time tends to move slower.

Sighing in frustration, I walked to the door, grabbed the seemingly too small uniform, and slipped it on easily.

There was a white blouse, black tie, black overcoat, and a plaid skirt. Kathy had also slipped some shoes and other essential things I needed in while I had been distracted in the shower.

Once I was done, I went to examine myself in the mirror. And was completely shocked and stunned at what I saw.

It didn't even look like me. Compared to myself before, I had been painfully thin so I didn't seem to have any curves. Now, I did. Some of the anorexic-thin look had apparently gone away during the transformation… and I guess you could call that okay. I hated when people say things about how skinny I was. Now, they couldn't really object. I just looked… 'natural' now; like I was naturally thin.

I realized I had to let go of the past… that included trying to forget how I last looked. Damian had been right in how it was best to lose your memory of your previous life before… I stopped thinking of this, and went back to what I was doing.

Healthy, except how pale I was, was how I looked now. The uniform fit nicely, loose for the most part, and I could definitely move in it. I guess it wasn't that bad… I took in the rest of my new looks.

With the uniform, I did look like a school girl. Just like everyone else here. Maybe physically I would blend in. It could be possible… later I would have to look at Kathy and compare myself to her to make sure.

I spotted a hair dryer on the vanity slash sink, and decided to take the liberty to dry my hair. I didn't like people to see my hair when it was wet. It looked like black seaweed or something.

It took about fifteen minutes, a shorter time than before, to dry it completely. After that, I looked back in the mirror, deciding if I was suitable to be seen now. I noticed with shock that my eyes were impeccably green –much more vibrant than before.

I guess I looked all right… I took a big breath.

It was time to face Kathy.

I crossed the bathroom and opened the door to find a very anxious Kathy standing almost in front of the door waiting for me. Her face turned from restless to shock in a blink of an eye. I frowned when I saw that. She was probably thinking that I looked horrid, and if she thought that, most other people would probably too…

"What?" I think I may have said it too harshly, because she flinched back slightly.

"Oh… Sorry. It was just a surprise. You look amazing. I'm afraid _I'm_ jealous." She smirked at me, suddenly elated again. Her answer shocked me to the point that I almost looked like her as she was only a few seconds earlier, but I kept my expression clear. What did she just say? How could I ever look 'amazing'? If my plan was to work, I couldn't have everyone staring at me, thinking I looked great. I needed everyone to think I was plain and normal, so I could fit in well and fade into the background. I stared at Kathy, keeping my expression carefully clear.

"Okay then… Well, you wanted to talk, right?" My attempt to distract her was successful, and she had my hand wrapped tightly wrapped in her tiny hand, and was pulling me over to the comfy couch. She sat us down, and stared at me eagerly.

"Do you want to start, or should I?" I sighed and looked away, toward the ancient windows.

"Maybe you should." I could see she nodded in my peripheral vision.

"Okay. Well… First of all, Damian found me in the forest of my home town, Nanaimo." I nodded, realizing that was on Vancouver Island.

"Where exactly do you live?"

"I'm just outside of Salmo."

"So that's where Damian found you?" I frowned, but then realized her problem, and nodded.

"Speaking of Damian, I have to find him later and ask him a few questions," My voice was reluctant, and Kathy obviously noticed because she smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Well, we can make our conversation short, and continue later. It's more important that Damian shows you around, and explains a few things to you. Let's go find him." My eyes were huge with fright at the prospect of talking to him again, and I grabbed her wrist before she could grab my hand to pull me along.

"No, Kathy, just sit down and we can talk some more. I'll talk to him later," She shook her head, grinning wickedly. Her eyes were alive with excitement.

"Nope; let's go see Damian _now_. Besides, I haven't seen him in ages," Her smile grew wider at every word she spoke, and I wonder what had her in such a good mood. But I could think about anything for much longer because she was pulling me off the couch and out the door, presumably toward Damian's dorm.

And, in no time at all, even though we must have climbed five flights of stairs, we were in front of another door that looked identical to our mahogany door. Kathy tapped on it lightly before we heard a reply, that was not Damian's voice call us in. Kathy pushed it open, revealing what appeared to be the exact same design and lay out as Kathy's and my dorm. Will, surprisingly enough, sat on the edge of one of the beds, the one close to the window. He didn't look a bit surprised to see that we were there, though.

"Damian's not here right now, hun –why are you looking for him?" He looked to Kathy for an answer, and it looked like he was lost in space for a minute before his eyes came back into focus, and he smiled at Kathy, then at me. My expression was confused, I could tell.

"I think he might be touring a few others around right now. Are you going to look for him? Or should I give him a message?" He looked at me now, waiting. I stared at him blankly for a moment more before I answered. I wondered if I was missing something here.

"No, just give him a message. Tell him to come visit us up in our dorm. Kathy and I are going to talk some more." He nodded, smiling slightly, and he looked back to Kathy. She blew him a kiss, and then closed the door, pulling me along behind her. Her face looked preoccupied for a moment before she smiled and her face took on a new look of determination.

"Am I missing something here?" She didn't answer me, and only continued pulling me along behind her.

"Umm, Kathy you know I won't run away on you. You can let go." She ignored me, still dragging me along behind her. This was starting to get a little suspicious and irritating.

And in the next blink of an eye, we were down the flights of stairs again, but instead this time we descended a lot more flights than the last time. I looked around us when we stopped to see the grand hall where we had first entered. I looked around in wonder, but this time my eyes stopped on four figures following the one person I had been hoping to avoid. Now I knew what Kathy was up to.

Attempting to make a break for it, I wrenched my hand away from her hand and tried running the way we had come. But she caught my arm and spun me around before I could make it too far. Thankfully I had made it so far down the hall that I was out of _his_ view at least. Her eyes were shooting daggers at me.

"You _are_ going to have to talk to him sometime, Marie. He's one of the head vamps around here, so to speak, and he's _everywhere_, _all _the time. I don't know what you're problem is with him but…" She looked like she was about to say something but decided she would be better off without saying it. I frowned at her, perplexed and extremely aggravated.

"I don't care; I'm not ready to talk to him right now." My voice was a fierce whisper, knowing that if I spoke too loud, even though we were plenty far away from him, he would hear me. She shook her head sadly.

"You have a long way to go…" Her voice also reflected that sadness. I was about to ask her what she was talking about, and what she meant by it, but suddenly someone was beside us. I had been so wrapped up in my conversation that I hadn't heard the light-brown headed vampire sneak up on us. Apparently Kathy hadn't either, but she recovered herself before me.

"Hello." His voice was cheerful and quiet; showing only an ounce of nervousness. And it was as beautiful as everyone else's voice around here.

Kathy eyed him warily, and I was wondering why. Despite his calming and trusting voice, I could see suspicion deep in her black gem-like eyes. She took a step back from him, bringing me with her.

"Hello…" She replied, her voice just as cautious as her expression. I frowned at her, lost. Why was she being so rude to this boy? Had he previously done something to make her act like this?

"I'm new here." Kathy muttered something under her breath that sounded like, "Yeah, I can tell…" But she replied sweetly this time. A little too sweetly to make you believe it was real.

"Well, it's nice to meet you." She tried to glide us around him, but he stood in front of us again, and she started to look the slightest bit annoyed. I could tell how anxious she was to get me out of there, and I hadn't a clue why. Despite her effort to keep her emotions in check, and her face clear of emotion, she was not succeeding well. I wondered vaguely if he could tell.

"My name is Taylor Henning. What's yours?" His voice was kind, and didn't seem to be affected by Kathy's offensiveness. His question wasn't directed at Kathy either; it was aimed at me. He was also staring at me, waiting for _my_ reply. I shrank back behind Kathy more, no longer sympathetic for him. Now I wanted him to go away and leave us alone as much as Kathy did. Kathy answered him, but she was now glaring at him.

"My name is Katherine. Now, we're in a bit of a hurry, so can you please move?" He stopped gazing at me to look at Kathy, a little bewildered.

"Oh, all right… But before you go, what is _your_ name?" He was back to gawking at me, and I kept my mouth shut. The way he was looking at me creeped me out, and I did not want to talk to him. Kathy noticed, and pulled us successfully away from Taylor.

"Sorry Taylor, but we really have to go. Catch you later." The way she said it, I could tell she didn't mean it. Hopefully she felt the same way I felt; the way I never wanted to see him, to see him look at me like that again. I heard her mumble something else under her breath, like, "Damned newborn…men…immature…" Her sentence was completely incomprehensible, and I couldn't make any sense of it other than that she apparently was talking about Taylor, and she was not impressed with him.

It appeared that I wasn't paying attention, because I felt Kathy stop, and I kept going until I hit something hard. Luckily I didn't fall and embarrass myself like I would have before, because Damian was standing right in front of me, not an inch away, looking down at me.

Backing away from him a few steps, I looked back to see a snickering Kathy. Glaring at her briefly, I looked back up at him, who was also staring at me, but not the way Taylor did which relieved me. The way Taylor looked at me made me feel like eye candy.

"Hello Marie… Kathy." He nodded towards Kathy's direction but didn't take his eyes off me. This made me feel like shrinking back into myself again.

"Hey, Damian!" She greeted him jovially. I looked back at her, surprised at how enthusiastic she really was. She winked at me, grinning hugely again. Her smile displayed all her glistening, perfect pearly-white teeth. Although, her smile didn't look animated or made up on her face; it looked natural.

"Marie thought it was time for a tour of the school. Are you up for it?" He looked from Kathy to me, his eyes slightly disbelieving, but his face as calm and mellow as usual.

Out of no where, I was distracted by something. I looked down at what he was wearing; it wasn't the casual clothing he had worn before, it was a black uniform, dress shoes, a tie, and a white shirt peeking out from underneath the button up over coat. He had black dress pants on, also. Looking back up to his face, I saw he had one eyebrow raised, his eyes questioning. I was momentarily dazed before I could say anything. Shaking it off, I felt extremely embarrassed. It made me look away from his face again.

"Well, are you going to take me or not?" His face smoothed, and he looked at me for a moment, seemingly searching. He answered me quickly.

"Yes. I just have to finish up with Taylor. He kind of ran off on me, and I have something more to tell him." I nodded, thankful that I didn't have to go right away and I could talk to Kathy for a minute- alone. He left quickly, running after the vanished Taylor.

I grabbed her wrist and ran her further down the hall, just to make sure he wouldn't hear us.

"Kathy, I don't want to do this right now. I want to go back to up our dorm; can you tell him we can do this sometime later?" She looked at me, her eyes frustrated.

"I don't know why you're so reluctant, Marie." What was with her and saying riddles I did not understand?

"Ugh. Will you stop doing that?" She frowned, mystified.

"Stop doing what?" Her voice was slightly irritated and just as puzzled as her expression. I looked at her pointedly.

"Stop saying things you know I have no idea about." Her brow continued to furrow more until she finally understood, and her expression cleared. She smiled at me kindly, and looked pleased with herself. I didn't get a chance to ask her why she was saying these things because Damian appeared beside us, sneaking up on me as always.

"Well, are you ready Marie?" My eyes widened in panic.

"Umm…well…umm…" I floundered as I shot panicked glances at Kathy. She merely rolled her eyes at me, and pushed me closer to him. My lip curled back, and I think I almost hissed at her.

"I think that's a yes, Damian. I'll see you guys later. Have fun." She smiled impishly, her eyes glinting with mischief, and in the next second she had disappeared; leaving Damian and I alone.

It took me a few seconds to get my expression under control; to give nothing away. By the time I looked back to him, he wore the same expression I did. I gave him a tentative, sheepish smile. He smiled only slightly in response, but the expression didn't reach his eyes. They remained emotionless. I swallowed hard before I could speak.

"Well… shall we start?" He didn't answer me for a moment. He just stared at me, his face wiped like a slate, and I began wondering when, or if, he would answer me.

"Sure. Let's get started," He moved his hand behind my back, yet not touching, to guide me. I moved forward, walking beside him and feeling very awkward. My eyes were carefully kept on the floor.

"Where we are now –and I think you already know this– is the grand hall. The west side of the building is the girls' dorms, and the east side is the boys' dorms. All the dorms are on the top floors –ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen. All the other floors are entirely classrooms." His tone made his little speech sound routine –which it probably was. He was most likely the tour guide.

I nodded, digesting and storing this new information for future reference. I definitely did not want to get lost and end up in the guys' dorms. If that happened, I would never be able to forget it. A shudder ran through me as I thought of the humiliation. He looked at me quizzically, and I just shook my head, clearing it.

"Do you know any of your classes yet?" I shook my head, frowning. He sighed and looked away.

"Well, that was obviously a stupid question to ask. You haven't even been here a day. I was going to show you some of the rooms of the classes that you are going to attend, but you don't know any courses." Grimacing slightly, I nodded. What exactly would you learn here?

He sighed, sounding a little frustrated and… dejected.

"Am I going to get a vocal answer out of you, or am I going to have to keep guessing?" My eyes flitted up to his face in shock, not really expecting him to say that. He wore a small, black-humoured smile on his face, his eyes glinting irritation, and I could tell he was not kidding. Looking away again, I answered him.

"Sure… I guess." My face twisted a little as I spoke the words, and I was glad he couldn't see my expressions behind my veil of hair. It was silent for a few moments while we walked the halls. After what seemed to be a time full of silent thoughts, he began the tour again.

"There are a few classes that are mandatory here, but you can decide whether or not you want to finish high school. To the others, they've never been to high school, or elementary school, but they retain all the knowledge they knew before. So we don't have to re-teach all the basics. But if people want to choose and continue courses, then they can. It'll be easier to tour you around here if I know what you want to do; want to continue. What are you thinking of doing?" This surprised me some; I thought the only thing we would learn here was… well, I didn't know what I had expected before. I guess one of the things I thought about is: would I be learning vamp history? It might be possible –they would just have to be extremely careful about what the teachers taught.

"I think I will continue where I left off. Even though there really is no point. It's not like I'm finishing so I can go and get a job anytime soon, now, is it?" I could see him a restraining a smile as he nodded. I frowned, perplexed.

"What?"

He glanced sideways at me again, and it brought back many… now-painful memories. I flinched.

"It's just your musings." He looked away, his mouth taut, and I said nothing more as he silently continued the tour. He would bring me to the room, and utter only one word; the name of the room.

His silence scared me a little. I didn't know why, but it did. He hated me; I knew that, but now that he wasn't talking… It felt like he would never talk again. That revelation really scared me. Why did I think like that? Shouldn't I be angry at him? Shouldn't I be avoiding him like I originally planned? Why was I acting like this?

Despite the fact that I really, desperately wanted to break the silence, I remained quiet, memorizing all the rooms and where they were. It's all I could do to ward off my oncoming misery.

He showed me the gym, something that was mandatory yet again, but something I couldn't complain about out loud. He seemed a little surprised, but not by much, that I didn't start to protest about having to take gym again.

The gym was enormous. It must have been at least three to four times bigger than the one I was accustomed to. I think it might have been the biggest room I've ever been in.

Then he showed me some of the classrooms I would be going to since I chose to carry on my high school education. The classrooms were like the one you would find in a college, except a tiny bit smaller. They all looked very professional and old-fashioned. Dark-brown oak desks, oak chairs with red plush velvet fabric. At the very front of the room there was an enormous chalkboard, and at the far side of the room there were usually high windows with red velvet drapes, matching the chairs…

The last room he showed me was the classroom I had been guessing about. And, yes, there would be a class that taught you how to be a vampire exactly. I had no idea what that class would involve. But on the other hand, there would be no vamp history, and for that I was grateful. I didn't want to be overloaded with work… especially that consisted of nothing but vampires. I still hated speaking or even thinking that word. And I also wondered if that rejection would gradually start to dissipate. I rather doubted it.

We were walking, not running, at a human pace back up to my dorm. Time was moving very slowly now that this episode was all over.

"Marie…" I looked up at him; shocked that after all this time in silence he was finally speaking to me.

He looked at me sadly, though. And quickly after, he looked away. It was as though he was ashamed. A new anger arose in me; something I was entirely unaccustomed to. With a start, I realized I was angry. My new temper flared, thinking all the while he should be ashamed of himself. He had changed and killed people for most likely a long time now. He should be wallowing in misery right now for what he's done.

"Marie, you have to know… I feel awful. I really do. I should've done something to prevent it. I never knew this would happen… I wish you didn't have to live with the same curse as me. You can never forgive me, I'm sure…" He couldn't finish his sentence because my face suddenly went livid, seething over. I could barely push my words out because my throat felt cut off from my tension.

"You know damn well I won't. How could you do that? Gain my trust, make me believe that you were a friend of all things, and then go do _that?_ Do you realize how many people's lives you've ruined? It doesn't look like you have any sense of self worth –maybe you don't even have a soul in there. It seems you do your 'job' without a bit of remorse… it seems like you're emotionless. You're a wretched creature, you know that right? You _should_ feel horrid. You changed all those people, made them something horrible to unleash upon the world. I don't know how one could cope with the world, with yourself, as well as you do with all that you've done." The whole time his face remained blank, unchanged, as my hurtful words came out in a venomous whisper. He looked down for a few minutes at his feet before he would answer.

"I guess I deserve that. You're right, and I don't know how I cope with myself either." My face retained immense shock as I stared at him, disbelieving. How could he agree with me so easily on this subject? Didn't he have any self respect? I'm sure he did, but how could he agree with me?

"Maybe I should leave you alone now…You know your way back right?" He didn't wait for my answer before he continued. He already knew I did.

"I'm sorry once again, Marie. I wish I could take everything back, I wish we never met, for your sake… but I can't undo the past. Hopefully over time you'll learn to deal with what you are as I have." It sounded like a last goodbye, and I panicked. But I felt like that only a second, because I was utterly seething still. I think I may have felt a few ice cold, angry tears roll down my face, and it brought me out of my trance like state.

I turned around, wiping my face with my hand roughly. I stalked off in the other direction, appalled, and absolutely furious. He deserved to rot in a hollow somewhere. How could he do that to so many people? Did he have a conscious? Did he have no morals? It didn't seem like it, and I didn't know if I would ever forgive him.

A few seconds later, it seemed, I was in my dorm again, where I saw Kathy pacing by the window. She turned as she heard my approach, a smile on her face, but it was wiped away as my expression registered in her mind. Her eyes became wide and concerned. I sat down on the couch, feeling like a tiny little bomb about to explode… again. I had trusted him… I don't think I'd ever been betrayed and hurt so badly. And I wasn't talking about physical, but rather psychological. At that moment I really missed my numbness that was long gone now.

"What happened?" Her words were almost a gasp, she was so shocked. I sighed and shook my head, my jaw locked.

"Nothing… You don't need to be so concerned."

But she sat down beside me anyway, looking at me intensely.

"Is it Damian? Tell me what happened. He's my friend too, you know."

"Fine, you asked. I almost bit his head off, I swear… He made me so angry. Do you realize how many people's lives he ruined? How many people he's killed? He killed you too. And how do you feel about that?"

She stared at me wide eyed. My head jutted forward slightly, awaiting her answer.

"You didn't _actually_ try to bite his head off, right? Because it is possible to do that…"

She said that after a few moments, and I almost burst out laughing. I shook my head, and then frowned.

"You know what I mean… right?"

She smiled after a few seconds, but it was almost immediately replaced with a scowl.

"You have to realize that it's not his decision really. What you have yet to learn is the council controls absolutely everything. He doesn't have a say in what he does –in fact, no one really does. Damian has been with us for a long time, longer than you can imagine, and he was selected to essentially do the council's dirty work. He is ordered to go change people into what we are, and if he didn't obey, they might kill him. The council is oppressive, and if I was ever caught saying something like this by a snitch for the council the consequences could be dire."

I had slumped back into the couch, listening to all of this with a little bit of a disbelieving expression on my face. I didn't know what to make to that. Did it make him any less awful or make him worse, because he would rather take other people's lives than step up and take the fall for them?

Kathy patted my shoulder, understanding written on her face.

"I know everything is hard to comprehend. I'm having a little bit of a hard time adjusting myself, since you told me the truth. But I have Will… and I know I will eventually accept it fully. There have been a lot of things I've had to rethink lately."

I nodded, my face now blank as I stared at my knees in silence. Everything didn't make sense to me anymore, though it really hadn't made real sense to me in the first place, and I had to figure things out, although I knew I was still furious inside. The edge I'd had before was taken off for the moment as I tried to wrap my mind around things. What should I believe? I guess I would have to think things over as Kathy apparently already had.

"Don't worry… I know you'll make the right decision and straighten everything out. I can feel it…"

It looked as if she were in a trance for a moment, before she straightened up and smiled brightly.

"Well, I know something we can do to take our minds off this subject for a bit."

I groaned slightly, and let my head fall to the side on the couch.

"I'd rather be thinking about it and get everything back to normal… if there _can_ be a normal here. I just want to stay here and sort everything out."

She shook her head, her expression ecstatic. Suddenly she was right beside me, on the right side of me now since I'd been facing away from her. She took my hands, and I swear she would start bouncing up and down any second now.

"We still need to get you a new wardrobe! The school supplies us all with casual clothes, semi formal, formal, and uniforms. You have yet to go get some new clothes, and maybe even a new dress! It's not too early to go looking for one… there is a dance coming up in the next month and we should start looking for dresses before all the good ones are taken."

I looked at her incredulously. Shopping? Really…?

"Where are we going to go shopping? And I don't have any money to get new clothes…"

Her tinkling laughter was loud in the huge, silent room.

"I said the school supplies it –you don't need to pay a cent. And the store is here in the school. Don't fret… we'll have a spectacular time, and by the end of our little excursion I promise you will appreciate fine clothing that much more. Let's go in a half hour –I'm going to tell Reap where I'll be then I'm coming back here to get ready. Don't leave or go anywhere –I haven't done this with someone in the longest time! Eek, okay I'll be right back." I almost laughed –laughed at the fact that she could be excited so easily, over a simple shopping trip, laughed at her use of her mate's nickname, and laughed at how I was going along with this. I definitely did not want to do a thing except ponder over my predicament. Everything would probably be sorted out a lot faster if I had my way, but who knew? Maybe it would take just as long without distractions.

Minutes later, Kathy flew back into the room, and shot just as quickly into the bathroom. I shook my head, wondering why she needed to get ready to go out shopping of all things. I waited on the couch, just staring up at the ceiling so far up above me, until she finally came back out. I don't know what she did different. She looked almost exactly the same as when she went in.

She grabbed my hand and I kept up with her this time so she wouldn't be dragging me. It seemed she always had to have a hand on me or something when we were not in the safety of our dorm. Did she think I was going to run away from her… still?

We walked through the halls quickly. It was more of a power walk or jog actually. It was amazing how worked up she was over this.

I looked out the enormous old fashioned windows as we passed them by. It was dark outside, the stars shining brightly, dazzling me. It was night time, surprisingly –I didn't know that much time had passed. I asked Kathy the time, and she looked at her watch briskly before she said around one in the morning. My eyes widened, shock taking over. I didn't even feel tired… It was a weird feeling.

And in seconds we were in front of a huge glass wall… or rather, door and wall. Looking through the glass inside you could see a huge room filled wall to wall with racks upon racks of clothes, accessories, and miscellaneous objects. You would see a person walk by every once in awhile, but mostly the store looked uninhabited. I guess a lot of vampires didn't particularly want to go shopping at one in the morning.

We didn't stop for long though –Kathy continued without hesitation into the store.

She dragged me up to the desk at the front of the store where a statuesque woman with a perfect oval face, short brown hair and glowing red eyes smiled widely at Kathy. She bit her lip slightly as she saw me, but didn't take too much notice of me after that. She continued to beam at Kathy until she spoke.

"Hey, Kathy! How are you –it seems like I haven't talked to you in ages."

Her voice was lilting and very pleasing to the ear. I noted all of this with a fair bit of surprise, though I should probably be used to it by now. After all, I was surrounded by vampires, and possibly some of those people I would start talking to soon.

"Oh, hello Patricia! I'm doing good… Yah, it has been awhile hasn't it..."

She nodded, her smile still in tact though she glanced back and forth between Kathy and me.

"So what are you searching for today?" She leaned on the counter and winked. Kathy laughed.

"Well, I'm helping my friend Marie, here, get a new wardrobe. She's a newborn."

Patricia's eyes shifted to my face, and I could see the confusion in her eyes as she looked into mine. Mine were still a dark green, while others were either distinctly red or black. I still had yet to understand why that was.

After a moment Patricia smiled at me, and then looked back at Kathy.

"All right girls –just let me know if you need any assistance. I'll be right here, and I hope you find everything to your liking."

Kathy nodded, beaming as she pulled me to the closest rack and began pawing through everything at lightning speed. Every time she would find something she liked, she threw it into my arms and continued looking through everything else.

I occasionally got to pick my own stuff, but only rarely because Kathy wouldn't let me touch clothes that were too big for me. She chose form fitting clothing –halter tops, short jean skirts, tight jeans… Needless to say I had more than a few fits over what she picked out for me. My eyes widened every time she picked a shirt that had too low a neck line, and when she brandished a skirt that had a very high hem line. How could she pick something so inappropriate?

I asked her that many times, and she only told me get with the times, this was style. I didn't understand how making your cleavage standout was style though.

Finally when I could barely see past the mountain of clothing in my arms, she said I should go try things on.

"And don't skip out on any out fit –I want to see every darling piece of clothing on you."

I groaned as she pushed me in to one of the many fitting rooms.

I immediately dropped them on the floor, and picked up the ones I wanted to try on first and placed them onto the hooks on the door.

I changed into clothing and walked out to show Kathy quickly before changing into the next outfit just as quickly. It may have taken about five hours for me to go through all of the outfits, rather than the two it actually took me. Every time she'd decided that the clothing looked good on me, and sometimes even despite my arguments and wishes, she brought the clothes up to the check out where Patricia laughed as she saw Kathy with a huge smile on her face and the mound of clothing. She laughed even harder when she saw my face.

By the time I'd worn the last outfit, a silky red tank top with frills on the front and tight fitted black skinny jeans, I was relieved.

I walked out of the change room, feeling awkward in the fairly revealing top, and Kathy gazed at me in awe.

"Marie you look stunning! Stop looking so pained though." Almost all of her comments were like this. Sometimes she said nothing, she was so breath-taken, and that made feel more mortified than ever.

I attempted to wipe the grimace off my face as she motioned for me to spin around so she could get a look at every angle. I saw some of the few people in the store stop and stare at me as I did a quick twirl… and I didn't bother trying to decipher the looks on their faces. I was way too embarrassed, and looked away almost immediately.

As soon as she'd made her assessment of how it looked, and her comment was that it was spectacular like almost every one of her other responses, I darted back into the change room and quickly put on my uniform again.

Emerging back out into the store again, Kathy seized my hand and began pulling me along beside her once more. As soon as I saw where she was pulling me, I let out a loud groan, not caring if anyone heard or gave me a weird look.

"Kathy I think I've had enough shopping for one night… or rather, one morning." I was looking up at the clock, where it said it was four in the morning. I wouldn't dream of ever staying up thus late if I were… I didn't even think the word. I had to stop thinking back to _then_, for my sake.

"Well, I definitely have _not_ had enough. We still have to get dresses for that semi formal dance, and then a formal dress for sometime in the future."

Oh no. I bit my lip and frowned all the way to the back of the store where all the dresses hung in perfect alignment. The colours of the rainbow could be seen here.

Kathy took her time now, her eyes carefully perusing the dresses and picking out far less in number than my clothes before. I internally kicked myself for letting Kathy drag me here.

Kathy grabbed a few dresses for herself, and kept encouraging me half heartedly, because she was so caught up in finding dresses and dressing up in them, to pick a few. But nothing I saw I really liked in the first place. Everything was very bright and eye-popping… I didn't want to stand out.

I tried not to think about the past too much anymore.

One dress reminded me of the tattered dress I wore here, made me remember that fateful night… could it have been only a day and a bit since _then_?


	12. Chapter 12: Monster

Chp 12: Monster

The next week passed by, basically uneventful. I went to the orientation, and you could barely tell you were going into a vampire school. Everything was essentially the same as my old school –flinch–. I got my schedule, and attended all my classes.

Kathy tried to cheer me up, tried to get me to do something with her everyday after we were done school. It didn't work, but I appreciated her effort. At least I had one person I could count as a 'friend' here… which brought me around to the problem that had been lingering on my mind for awhile now.

I hadn't seen Damian once since that… incident. And to admit the truth, even though I was still angrier than ever, it worried me. Had something happened to him?

"Marie? Did you hear what I asked you?" Mr. Sturgeon, my new english teacher, asked me kindly.

I zoned back in to the lecture, and nodded before answering him quietly. Half of my attention had been focusing on the lecture while I thought about different things at the same time. It was nice to have all the thinking space I didn't have before –I could be concentrated on many different things at once and still work at my peak. That was in essence the only thing I got used to quickly. Everything else didn't have such a good impression on me –such as the burning, gnawing sensation at the back of my throat that would simply not go away.

Everyone's gorgeous faces turned to look at me as I talked, much like they always did. That was just one of the things that bothered me. It got better as the days progressed, but still a few people looked back and it was agitating.

This semester I would be taking gym, english, sciences, and 'the basics' as they called it. We always had 'the basics' no matter what semester, and then we got to pick the electives. The periods were a little short, but we picked up a lot of things more quickly so there was really no need for a long, dragged out lesson.

English was my second last class. Next, I had the basics. Wahoo. What fun…

What we'd learned so far was what we were capable of, dangers, what we should stay away from, and the rules of the school. I wondered what was in store for today.

As soon as the bell had rung, I was out of my seat and walking hastily down the hall to my next class. A few people upon my first day really seeing me came up to me, and talked to me. As I skulked down the hall, I felt someone's presence walking beside me. I sighed as I turned my head to see Taylor. He was in 'the basics' next too… he also had science with me.

"Hey Marie!" He said brightly.

"Hi Taylor…"

"So how are all your classes going? Mine are going fine… but I think I'd rather be doing other things, you know?"

I sighed, nodded, and closed my eyes, keeping up my fast pace.

"I guess they're fine."

He nodded, over enthused as he tried to keep up with me. And as a cause of that, we entered the class seconds later. I rushed up the shiny wooden stairs up to the top row in the far right corner. This was basically the back of the classroom.

I saw Taylor hesitate before he made the decision to climb the stairs and take a seat next to me.

I rolled my eyes behind the cover of my hair as I brought out my books.

Suddenly people started appearing out of no where, filling up all the seats fairly quickly. The last person to enter the room was the teacher –Mr. Bennett. He had a very serious stature and was extremely solemn about his work.

"Good afternoon class. Let's start off today by reviewing yesterday's notes quickly, and then we are starting a new topic –hunting."

I don't think it was possible for my face to go any whiter, but it did. My eyes widened and I was momentarily frozen in shock and horror.

"Marie –are you all right?" Taylor asked anxiously after a moment. I glanced at him from the side of my eyes, and nodded marginally. It took me a moment for my muscles to thaw out, but then I began to flip through my notes.

I had been keeping this very subject off my mind purposely. Now that I had to face the ugly, awful truth I wanted to bolt. What would he teach us exactly? Where on the throat was the perfect spot to bite? I shuddered, petrified.

Taylor continued to throw worried looks my way as Mr. Bennett began to speak. But when he began to talk about hunting, I think I may have started to twitch. I wanted out of the room, to get outside and clear my head… it felt like I couldn't breathe.

It seemed to my agony, that he began the speech about that evil desire a few seconds later.

"Hunting, class, is an essential part to our life. We prey on humans, but we still have to remain very careful about how we go about it. Some of you that needed blood right away, because you went mad with the burning sensation at the back of your throat, have already experienced the thrill of the hunt. Most of you have not, and needless to say I know you all have the itch in the back of your throats right now. You need to hunt soon, and I planned this class at the perfect date. Sometimes, if you let it get out of hand, you lose your mind. So that is why you need to hunt tonight, or in the next few days. Do not hunt during the day. It makes you more vulnerable."

I had literally started to shake now. Taylor laid a hand on my shoulder with wide, frightened eyes. I flinched away violently.

"Marie? Marie, what is happening?" He whispered frantically. His voice sounded distraught, I knew, because he really had no idea what he could do. There was no nurse's office he could take me to because vampires never had any medical problems. I was glad everyone else was paying specific attention to the teacher. I might have caused a little panic.

"Now, when you're hunting you need to be in a secluded spot, and try if you can to pick a person who looks like they won't be missed. You should be mostly separated from one another so that it won't arouse too much suspicion in the humans. You're allowed to go as far as the east coast, and the border, but just make sure you're back before the sun breaks over the horizon."

That was it. I couldn't take it anymore –I stood up and ran out of the class faster than anyone could see. I could not listen to another word of his vile teachings. We were talking about how _to kill people_. How could they possibly listen to the awful things spewing out of that man's mouth? He wasn't even really a man anymore… none of them were really people. They didn't have sympathy for humans, though they didn't know it, and they used to be one. It was scary being around people who didn't have values for weaker beings. We just take lives whenever we need sustenance, and it was not right.

A minute later I was back in my dorm, only to find Kathy sitting on the couch cross legged, reading a large book. At my entrance, she looked up, surprised. Her classes usually ended a little before mine, and Will's so she was alone for the moment. It turned out she only had gym and sciences with me this semester.

"Marie! What are you doing here so early?"

I plunked down onto my bed, taking deep breaths to calm myself. In the next instant she was sitting beside me, her arm around me.

"What is it now?"

This was probably getting a little annoying for her, seeing me like this a lot of the time. But she definitely didn't show it. I sighed, and let my tense posture relax.

"Have you been hunting lately?" I blurted out before I could stop myself. She grimaced, and frowned at me.

"No… not recently, but I'm getting thirsty. I was planning on going tonight… Why, is there a problem?"

I tried to keep myself calm as I spoke again.

"Doesn't it bother you even a little bit that you're taking an innocent person's life to provide yourself with the blood you need to live?"

Her eyes popped open wide in realization before she looked at me sadly.

"Marie… I'd never thought about it. I never knew myself to be a human before, so I didn't think much of it. But now… I don't know. How else are we going to live, though?"

"We don't. We shouldn't be alive. Those who've given up life for this or didn't have a choice in the matter shouldn't be alive. There should be no second chances at life."

She looked away almost as if she were ashamed.

"I… I don't know. I've tried to see how long I would last without blood. But I only managed to last a week and a bit. It's very trying to deprive yourself of it. I can't imagine anything more excruciating."

"Being changed into what we are now was one of the most agonizing things you could ever imagine! You're lucky you don't have to remember it."

Kathy just stared at me with gloom and frustration in her coal-like eyes.

"I don't know what happens when you don't feed for long periods of time. But I do know that it won't be pretty. You'll lose your mind –snap. Then what happens?"

I shook my head, noticing the unbearable scorching in my throat. My whole body ached for what I didn't want to give it.

I felt her grip my shoulder tightly.

"Just go with me and Will tonight. We will support you, help you through it."

I shook my head, my face scrunching up. The pain was escalating.

"I can see how much pain you're in. Come with us tonight. See how it goes… it may not be as bad as you think."

I could hear the uncertainty in her voice. She was also having second thoughts. But as the pain became worse, I nodded. I couldn't believe it, but it seemed… instincts were taking over? And I just couldn't take the pain anymore. The monster in me had taken over.

"All right –we're leaving as soon as the sun sets and we're going to Yaletown." Her voice was extremely grim.

Well one thing was for certain now. A small part of me was scared out of my wits, and screaming at me to not go. The other larger part was ferocious, relentless, and was going to get what it wanted no matter what. I shrugged out from under her arm and curled up in a ball on my bed, the need eating me out. Kathy left me in peace until I saw the sun setting outside.

I'd been watching it in revulsion the whole time.

"It's time." She said quietly. I stayed still; staring out the window until I heard Will enter. I got up slowly.

"You'd better go change. I think you may know why." I looked them both over. They wore casual clothes –nothing too fancy, just jeans and a t-shirt. He wore a light grey t-shirt and black jeans and she wore dark blue skinny jeans with a small red tank top.

I nodded and walked over to the wardrobe silently. This was reserved for me while Kathy had a giant walk in closet on the other side.

I picked out some acid washed black jeans, a black tank top and a huge baggy sweater. Kathy hadn't been able to keep me away from that. Quickly I changed, only stopping to see how I looked, where I noticed my once green eyes were onyx black, and then I was at their side. He had his arm wrapped around Kathy's shoulders, a little tense which was not normal. Kathy was probably really nervous, but it didn't look like she was. She had a slight smile on her face, like she almost always did.

"We have to inform the office that we're going now. Then we are assigned our supervisor,"

I frowned through my indifference.

"A supervisor…?"

"Yes –we are not old enough to go out on our own. We have to get an older person to come with us."

I grimaced slightly and nodded. I could guess as to why –there were a few reasons…

We exited quickly, and ran down to the office.

"Hello Marie, Kathy, Will…" Shelly acknowledged us as we entered. Kathy smiled widely.

"Hello Shelly. We're going to go out now –to Yaletown as was planned before."

Shelly turned her eyes on her computer, and began tapping away on the keyboard. A few minutes later, her face illuminated by the monitor, she turned and nodded with a smile.

"All right, it's confirmed. Let me see… oh! You're supervisor is Clyde McKellan. He should be here any moment."

And in the next moment a tall, thin man with copper toned hair and a grim, beautiful angular face appeared beside me. I jerked away, but he didn't seem to mind. He looked very concerned and distraught over something.

"Hello Clyde," Kathy said jovially despite his apparent despair. He looked over us with sad, blood red eyes.

"Hello…?"

Kathy reached for his hand, and he shook.

"Kathy. And this is William and Marie."

"Hello Marie, William." He shook my hand, and then Will's.

"Well I'm going to be supervising you while you hunt so you won't slip up in any way shape or form. So we are going to…?

"Yaletown." Kathy answered quickly. He nodded, eyes still dejected.

"I guess we should get going now then." We all nodded, said our last goodbyes to Shelly, and left the office, school, and then the grounds all together.

We drove for hours. I don't know why we chose to go somewhere so far… I wanted blood right now. My eyes widened in horror at myself. How could I think that? What was wrong with me?

Clyde sat in the back seat with as Will drove and Kathy sat beside him in the passenger seat. Will was also a speed demon, and I enjoyed the ride tremendously.

I kept throwing glances at Clyde, and after awhile he may have noticed, but obviously didn't care. It appeared he stared, absent minded, out the car window. But I could see he was very upset about something, and it was bothering me. He shouldn't be going with us somewhere if there was some kind of problem.

I was almost shaking with anticipation as we parked in an alleyway next to the harbour. Yaletown was beautiful, lit up at night.

We all got out of the car and looked at each other. Kathy watched me apprehensively as I drew in a deep breath, taking in all the scents. It sent off a frenzy of instincts, and it was hard to keep myself where I was standing.

"I'll take Marie; teach her a few things… You and Will can go."

Kathy looked at me worriedly through the misty night. The night was cold enough that you could see people's breath shrouding the air, but our breath couldn't be seen. The air we breathed out was as cold as it had been when it had entered our lungs.

I looked back at her confidently.

"Don't worry Kathy –I'll be fine."

Will wrapped his arm around her shoulders and began to guide her away. She looked back at me and Clyde the whole time, an extremely concerned and agitated look in her eyes.

I forced myself to look away from her to the depressed Clyde who stood close beside me.

"Umm… well I guess we should begin looking for humans… Try not to leave my side, and keep your senses mainly focused in the alley ways."

I nodded briskly, and we began walking casually. I took deep breaths through my nose, trying to catch a whiff of that delectable substance I still had yet to devour. It was official –the bloodlust, _the_ _monster_ had take over my mind and pushed my morals way back in my head. I barely heard myself crying out in the back of my mind to stop the madness. I was now primal –primitive and ruthless. All I thought about was the warm, sweet liquid rolling down my throat…

I noticed Clyde staring at me with a pained look in his eyes. I turned my head to look at him, my concern for him reining over my impulses for the moment.

He sighed and looked away.

"What is it Clyde?"

He grunted his eyes downcast.

"I'm just anxious and worried…"

I cracked a smile and laughed at that. He looked at me, his expression surprised.

"Well, that was a no-brainer. It is so apparent I think anyone could figure that out."

He smiled only slightly.

My eyes urged him to go on in his story. He took the hint, and looked to the ground.

"Well, I have a human fiancée I left behind a few months ago to come to the school, on orders to help out. I have only been here a few months, and I was told I should plan on staying a whole year here. But I can't take it anymore. I need to be with her. She could be in so much danger right now… I'd mixed her up with all this vampire crap and now she might be killed because of me."

I followed his story with a little shock and a lot of interest.

"I need to leave –to get out of here. But if I do that then I might be chased, and get her into even more trouble. I don't know what I can do."

Why did the council have to be so commanding and oppressive? We weren't living in an era of tyranny, or so I'd thought…

I looked at Clyde with concern.

"I think you should leave and go to her Clyde. Just disappear –change your name, whatever it takes to live in peace. Move across the Atlantic Ocean to Europe. Do whatever it takes, because life for you may last forever, but hers in limited. Protect her, until or if you change her."

He gazed at me with admiration, trust, and concern.

"Thank you Marie. You've given me something to hope for."

I nodded, and I think if I had been human my cheeks would be a flaming red. I realized also that the talk had calmed me, and I was myself, having momentarily forgotten my lust. But I knew that wouldn't last forever. I wouldn't give myself ten minutes.

We walked around some more, and each minute Clyde looked more and more worried and concerned. It seemed my consolation had only worked for a few moments.

We climbed up a fire escape onto an apartment building. Every window we passed, seeing a human sleeping and smelling that ever so sweet fragrance, made the thing inside me crave and tear me up even more, but I restrained. I wouldn't attack someone until Clyde told me it was all right.

Once we were on the roof top, and had looked over the alleys and city a few times, he looked at me with remorse. I frowned as the breeze blew through our hair. I'm sure it would have been brisk, but I couldn't feel a thing. It certainly looked like a cool night.

"I'm going to check something out. I'll be back in a moment," He said.

I watched as he jumped off the roof, and landed on the next with precision. He did this a few more times till he was finally to far away for me to see.

I sighed, and went to the edge of the building where I climbed onto the ledge and dangled my legs over. This would have been terrifying at any other moment, but I was too lost in thought.

But, all of a sudden, a tinkling laughter caught my attention from down below me. My head whipped down to see a small girl with long chocolate brown hair and bangs, her chubby, rosy cheeks most noticeable to me. She was standing between two smiling adults, one female one male, holding their hands. But they didn't interest me. The little girl did. Suddenly I felt all sense of morality and emotions vanish. I needed –_wanted_ the girl's blood.

I jumped off the building and landed, just metres away from them. Somehow I knew that I would not break anything if I jumped off, though the thought never crossed my mind.

They stopped dead, their faces not showing any of the happiness that had once been there. Their faces drained of blood in shock, making them turn the colour of a ghost… all but the little girl's face –her cheeks remained that delicious red colour. Her eyes appraised me with more interest and confidence than terror, unlike her parent's horrified eyes.

But that didn't matter. Nothing but draining that girl dry mattered to me.

I made a move, going for the parents first. I would take out the stronger mortals first. The woman screamed as I launched myself at what I presumed to be her husband, and continued screaming as she saw me basically rip his throat apart, drinking feverishly that delectable life giving liquid. His body went limp almost instantly, and I supported him as I fed. I drank enough so that his heart stopped, and the venom on my teeth wouldn't circulate through his system and change him. I dropped him.

I lunged at the woman next, cowering against the wall with the little girl off safely to the side, standing with wide eyes watching the scene.

I pushed her head to the side so her elegant, fair neck was exposed. Then my head spiked down and I drank even more fervently from her. She had a different essence, and though the man's blood had tasted luscious, the woman's was even more so. I finished her off the same as I had with the man, and then turned to the little girl. I didn't pause, didn't show remorse as I dove at her throat.

I bit her, but almost immediately I backed away, my eyes wide, blood soaked mouth and lips hanging wide open. What had I _done_? I started to shake violently. I'd just taken two people's lives unremorsefully. How could I have done that? And the whole reason I did that was because I wanted the little girl's blood –a little girl, probably no older than six!– and in the process I took two other people's lives. Was I going to be consumed by the sadistic beast inside me for the rest of my life?

I collapsed in a pool of blood that I had made… that I had caused.

The little girl started whimpering and making sounds of distress. I knew she would be feeling the pain of _my_ venom starting to slowly burn through her system.

This was my entire fault. I was a monster. I had taken two lives, had ruined a child's life. I couldn't do anything though I wanted to put her out of her misery. I would not dam her to a life of sucking blood to live.

I saw her tiny form crawling over to me all of a sudden. Her petite hand reached out to me.

"Help…" She said in a small, innocent voice. I started dry sobbing.

"Help me… it burns. Make it stop…" Her voice was strained, and it broke my heart. _No_…

"Marie!" Kathy screamed. I heard from down the alley, and then the sound of three people running. Two of them stopped a few metres away from me. The other one approached me at lightning speed.

I felt hands touch my face, and I attempted to make my eyes focus on who was holding me.

"Marie…" Someone whispered. I knew immediately whose voice it was. Damian.

I really lost it then. I began to cry hysterically, unable to contain myself. Damian pulled me up off the ground a bit and let me bury my face in his chest as he held me.

Through my cloudy tears, I saw Kathy and Will surround the girl. She was rolling on the ground in absolute agony now, screaming and twitching. Will picked her up, so she was standing, and then knelt down. His teeth shot down onto the wound that I had previously made. They were going to kill her. I began crying even harder at the thought of that.

He actually pulled me up off the ground now, and then we were standing, our arms wrapped tightly around each other, my face buried in his chest as I basically wept all my new blood away.

We stood there for what seemed like hours to me, though it was probably only a half an hour.

He tried to murmur things, and stroke my hair to calm me down. But it seemed the tear flow wouldn't stop, and I gripped onto him hard.

After awhile I calmed down some, and I lifted my head from his now-bleached-out shirt to look around me.

All that was left was the blood. All the bodies were gone, including the girl's, whose blood I had lusted over like an animal. Kathy and Will must have gotten the bodies out of here awhile ago. More tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought of that.

He reached out and turned my chin so he could look me in the eye. I flinched violently, and he looked at me with extreme agitation and concern.

"Shh… no more crying, you're going to lose all your blood."

"Who cares anyway? I'm a monster. I should lose all my blood… I should be dead. I just took three lives without mercy –Is that supposed to be how I live the rest of my life?"

He looked at me with sad, pained eyes.

"It's only bad the first time. Some people, even if they've forgotten have the same reaction as you. It will pass as time goes on…"

My eyes narrowed on him. The words of a killer. My anger at him now brought back my forgotten anger with him. I shook my head.

"I shouldn't be living right now. You should've left me to die on the road before… it would be an adequate death for me now."

He shook his head, eye wide and full of what looked like grief and despair.

But it was too late. I had pushed him away and the look on his eyes as I ran off in the opposite direction was almost heart breaking. But it couldn't affect me. I was half way between numbness, anger, and desolation.

But all of a sudden, as I was running around a corner into another alley, I was pinned to the wet, red brick wall.

My eyes focused quickly to see Damian, his green eyes hard and dismal, looking almost like emeralds now. He held me down by my arms which were out beside my head. My back was tight up against the wall.

I glared at him and began to thrash about, trying to get out of his grasp. Why wouldn't he just let me run off, and do whatever the heck I wanted to do with myself? He shouldn't care if say, I tried to jump off a bridge. I'd already hurt him enough, I could tell. I didn't believe I had the right to live anymore –I didn't really believe I had the right to live in the first place.

It almost worked, his hands started slipping, but then he suddenly lurched forward and pressed himself up against me so I was trapped between him and the wall, unable to move. Even though he was unbelievably thin, and he didn't look that strong through his light shirt, I still couldn't worm my way out. My eyes closed tightly in an attempt to stop crying in frustration.

He moved one of his hands from the wall to my face to wipe an escaped icy tear away.

"Everything's okay Marie. Just calm down…"

"No! No, no, no, no…"

I felt him tremble before he suddenly backed away and with his arm, swept my legs from under me and gathered me up in his arms. My eyes widened in shock as he ran through the alleys, until we reached a black Audi that I recognized as his car.

He opened the door swiftly and placed me on the grey leather seats. He did up my seatbelt before I could, and then in no time at all he was in the driver's seat, seatbelt on and starting the car.

I watched him for awhile, not sure what to think anymore. I knew I was still angrier than ever… but I certainly didn't feel like it right now. I didn't know what to think, what to feel… So I would just let time be the judge.

I just stared out the window for awhile, thoughts swirling around my head, trying to make sense of things –until a few questions came to mind. It may not be the most appropriate time to ask, but I had an urge to know.

"Damian…?"

His head turned slightly, acknowledging me, and encouraging me to proceed. I took a deep breath before I asked him.

"How and why are you here? And where did Clyde go?"

He sighed, and his eyes narrowed slightly, though not in a suspicious way. It seemed like he was really worn out.

"Clyde is a good old friend of mine –we go pretty far back. He phoned me and asked me to step in for him so he could go to her –Molly. I agreed… and here I am now."

No emotion could be heard in his voice, or seen on his face as he spoke. I felt a little nervous at that, even though I was decidedly happy for Clyde on making his decision to go to his fiancée, and nodded before looking back out the window. I really did not know what I should think. I certainly had a lot to think about.

It was silent for the rest of the drive back. He would throw glances at me every once in awhile. But other than that we had no contact even though we were only not even a metre away from each other, trapped in the car for hours.

We finally arrived at the school again and back down in the underground parking lot. He had already opened my door before I could open it myself, and then as I got out I saw him standing stalk straight, looking down at the damp cement floor, his hair partially obscuring his eyes.

I stood and watched him for a moment, still holding the car door open. I bit my lip.

His head came back up after a few moments, looking a little confused on why I hadn't moved. I shook my head, clearing it, and shut the door lightly. I didn't have a clue on what was getting into me now. There were a lot of things I didn't know that I had to figure out and understand _pronto_.

When I walked past him was when he started to walk after me, and then we were both in the elevator and on our way up to the main floor. I was particularly glad for some reason that they had no elevator music –I might have burst out laughing, because of how odd it would be to have elevator music in a vampire school– and then who would look like the psychopath? How cliché it would be…

When we arrived on the main floor, and headed to the foot of the stair way, we just looked at each other. Apparently, neither of us knew what to say.

But when he finally sighed, and looked at me before he left me alone, I felt pained. It was guilt, but rather… remorse. My hands ran roughly through my hair as I began to ascend the stairs at a human pace. I needed just a few more moments to myself –to think about things without the slightest distraction. And even though Damian and I had not talked during the whole car ride, he had been a huge distraction. Somehow, I realized, I never was able to get him off my mind no matter what the case may be. I groaned, closing my eyes as I reached the top of the stairs. I had another few flights to go, but what do you know, someone had to show up and distract me in my critical thinking time.

Taylor ran up beside me, not needing to call my name since he'd already caught up with me. He began to climb the stairs with me, and I attempted going at a faster pace now.

"Good morning Marie! How was your night?"

My jaw tensed slightly as I muttered to him, "It was just super-duper…"

I saw a brilliant smile cross his face.

"Have you been hunting? You look livelier now."

My eyes narrowed. That was just fantastic. It only took two human's lives to make myself look good. That was great.

I didn't answer him, only kept climbing up one step at a time. I didn't know why I just didn't leave, and try to find a way to make up for what I'd done now. But I just couldn't for some reason… Something was keeping me here, a pull of some sort. I didn't think it was anything bad… Rather, it was something good.

"Where are you going? I was hoping that you could come meet some people… some friends of mine. It doesn't look like you hang out with too many people besides Katherine and Damian."

He said both their names grudgingly, and I think I almost turned and ripped his throat out. It shouldn't matter to him who I hung around with… in fact; none of my life should be his business. But I was too polite to tell him off… yet. I had a feeling I was going to explode on him soon if he didn't shut up.

He kept chattering away at me for a few more minutes until I was at the foot of my door. I hadn't answered too many of his questions, hoping he would take the hint and leave me alone. But my little problem was soon vanquished because Kathy opened the door as soon as I was in front of the glossy mahogany door.

Taylor clammed up immediately at the sight of her. I sent her a look of pleading and desperation, which she caught right away. Her eyes narrowed on him.

"Good morning Taylor."

Her voice was frosty, and it almost brought a smile to my lips as I saw him squirm uncomfortably. Way to go Kathy. The bouncy pop princess could also scare the socks off of people when she wanted to. It was a good weapon she had. Just by looking at her on any other occasion, you would never say she was frightening –but rather, the opposite.

"Umm… well I'd better get going Marie… I'll see you later."

And then he quickly vanished in front of my eyes. Kathy pulled me in, and shut the door quickly before she wrapped her arms securely around me and literally almost squeezed me to death. I hugged just as hard back, burying my head in her hair and trying to hold back tears as I scrunched my eyes up.

"Oh my gosh, Marie, you had Will and me so worried… Are you okay now?"

I nodded only slightly in response before she let go and brought me over to the couch once more. As we sat down, she eyes me with concern in her eyes, and I remembered how much I disliked being pitied or worried so much over.

"Do you need to talk about anything? Because, you know, I'm here whenever you need to talk. I know that must have been just plain awful for you."

I nodded, and looked away.

"I don't think I want to talk about anything just yet. I still need to sort through things in my head, then I'll be ready to talk if need be. I'm used to figuring out my own problems."

She nodded, completely understanding and I sighed, relieved.

"Thank you for being so patient with me Kathy. I don't know how I would make it."

She smiled brightly and nodded.

"So do you want me to leave you alone to think for now?"

I gave her a look, and she inclined her head as a response, beamed at me, and crossed the room to leave. But right before she exited, she had something to tell me.

"Oh, Marie? Thinking along the lines of Taylor's idea, I have a couple friends who would like to meet you sometime. It's Patricia –the girl you met already before in the store, and her mate Miguel. Would you be willing to meet them soon –after you're done thinking things over?" Oh great –she'd heard our conversation.

I bit my lip slightly, and looked away for a brief minute. Well, I had to get these types of things over and done with soon anyway, didn't I? I couldn't go through life here without having to be social and meet new people… after all; I had a friend now that had a lot more friends. I was bound to be introduced to them anyway… I exhaled fairly heavily before I nodded a yes. Kathy clapped, and I think I heard a tiny squeal sound from her throat.

"Oh you'll love them Marie, I know you will. I have to go tell them now… Okay, good luck. I know everything will turn out for the better."

Her voice was a little more down to earth than it had been a second earlier. I chuckled darkly. What an optimist Kathy was.


	13. Chapter 13: Acquaintances

Chp 13: Acquaintances

"They've been my friends for awhile now –ever since I first got here a few years ago."

I nodded, my eyes closed as Kathy held my hand as I kept up her pace beside her.

She'd left me alone for awhile to think … probably a little too long, but it was still not enough time. I think I may have been close to a resolution. At least, I hoped so.

Today was our day off, a day where we could do whatever we wanted. So we were walking to the library where we were to meet Patricia and Miguel.

I didn't know what quite to expect, but from the looks of Patricia, she seemed nice enough. But looks could be deceptive…

Arriving at the huge frosted glass doors of the library, Kathy pushed the doors open lightly with the golden handle and revealed a grand library filled almost wall to wall with books. The only place where there weren't book cases was in the middle of the room where many chairs and study tables were set up. I looked around in wonder, astonished. I would never run out of books, ever, here.

"Kathy!" Someone clearly whispered, though you could hear it as clearly if someone was speaking normally. Only a few people were in the library as far as I could see –I guessed not too many people wanted to spend their day off in the library.

No one objected as Patricia called to Kathy from across the room, on a cosy looking, posh green couch.

I immediately noticed the man sitting next to her. He had fairly long, wavy, caramel blonde hair that clashed with his burgundy eyes.

Both Patricia and Miguel smiled at us as we approached.

Patricia rose as we got to the couch, and gave Kathy a big hug with a large grin on her face.

"It's so nice to spend some time with you and Marie today, Kathy."

She stepped up to me after she was done hugging Kathy and embraced me tightly also. I hugged her back only slightly, a little bewildered since I'd never been treated like this by a stranger.

I saw Miguel rise to hug Kathy also, and after Patricia was done with me, he walked over and shook my hand. I was kind of thankful for that –it might have been a little bit more awkward to hug him.

He looked at me slightly intensely all the while, but I didn't let it bother me. We sat down, Kathy and me on a couch opposite Patricia and Miguel.

"So, Marie, you guys haven't been properly introduced! This is Patricia Valier and Miguel Carver. And Pat, Miguel, this is Marie Alexander."

They both nodded and smiled at me, and I managed to smile shyly back.

"It's certainly nice to meet you, Marie. Kathy's spoken to me only briefly about you, but you sound pretty interesting."

I only succeeded in keeping the grimace off my face. So they'd talked about me, had they?

Kathy noticed my discomfort, and stepped in.

"Uhh yes… so how have you two been lately? We've barely had any time to catch up yet… I can't believe we've left it till now! I mean, even if we don't have the same classes we should see each other more often than this."

Patricia's eyes widened, and she nodded.

"Oh, I know what you mean Kathy."

She and Kathy talked for awhile, while I came back in and out of awareness, and sometimes added to the conversation. It seemed Miguel did the same. But when the conversation turned to the upcoming dance, I had to have my full attention on what they were saying. They were involving me a great deal.

"So Marie have you got your dress yet? The last time you were in the store, only Kathy got one."

I shook my head, and Kathy rolled her eyes dramatically.

"She didn't find anything she liked. For a girl that is apparently not too picky about what she wears, she certainly had a hard time with dresses. There were tons of gorgeous dresses there!"

"Oh, well I think you'll find something… I think I saw something that would look stunning on you…" Patricia trailed off in thought. But Kathy quickly changed the subject, unable to contain herself. There was no hiding when Kathy was excited.

"I presume you have a dress already… what does it look like?"

"Well, it's deep purple and is fairly loose on me… it's sparkly." She giggled, her eyes sparkling. I actually laughed at how idiotic she sounded, and everyone looked at me, surprised. But then as I continued laughing, they broke out in laughter too, eliminating all the tension that had been building in the minute of their silence.

"Shh!" Someone shushed us from across the room, and we immediately shut our mouths and snickered under our breath.

"So moving on to other topics… How are things with you and William?"

"Oh yes, our good old friend Reap…" Miguel chuckled under his breath. I laughed too –apparently everyone knew him as Reap.

Kathy began to lie back, lounging as she put an arm around my shoulders.

"Things are wonderful, as always. He's too amazing… I don't know what I would ever do without him."

Patricia laughed and shook her head, but did not comment. Kathy raised an eyebrow.

"And I see things between you and Miguel are going nicely."

She smiled and leaned over to kiss him as an answer. Kathy's expression was cheerful.

"Awww I'm happy for you guys."

"Thank you Kathy… I'm happy for you and Will also."

Kathy nodded.

"I can't believe it's been almost two years now…"

Patricia snuggled closer to Miguel as she said it, and smiled at me, though the look in her eyes was more intent than anything.

"So Marie, is there anyone special in your life?"

I grimaced slightly, and shook my head. I just didn't know what to think of relationships like Kathy and Will's or Patricia's and Miguel's. I was happy for them, but they actually deserved someone…

In my peripheral view, I saw Kathy wink at Patricia, and Patricia gave her a look that said, 'You _are_ going to tell me later…'

I sighed and looked away as Kathy sat up.

"Well, I should be going to see my Reap of misery. I haven't talked to him all day, and I miss him…"

Patricia and Miguel nodded in understanding, and stood up. I stood up soon after that and watched as Kathy and Patricia hug. Miguel actually brought me in for a short hug before Patricia claimed my arms.

"I'll be seeing you two later," She said in a stern tone. I nodded and laughed.

"Good bye Patricia."

"Oh, call me Pat, Marie. It's so much easier to say, and less serious sounding."

I nodded as Miguel and Kathy said goodbye, and then Kathy grabbed my arm and we fled the room.

Kathy giggled in delight almost all the way up the stairs.

"That was so much fun! I told you you'd like them… and I can already tell they like you."

I agreed quietly, lost in thought. Well they _seemed_ very nice…

We raced up to Will's dorm, and as we got closer, the more apprehensive I got. I'd remembered that Will and Damian shared a dorm… So would Damian be there? And if he was, should I talk to him? Should I even look at him? Or should I escape back to my dorm now?

By I didn't need to worry for too much longer –Will appeared suddenly in the stairway. He must have heard Kathy's thoughts and came to meet us.

She let go of my hand and ran up to him where she threw her arms around him and kissed him.

"Hello, my streak of misery."

He smirked and ruffled her hair lightly.

"Do you need more time to think? I could hang out with Will in his dorm for awhile."

My eyes widened questioningly.

"Are you sure Kathy –it's not trouble for you at all?"

Her smile widened and she shook her head vigorously.

"Oh, gosh no! Will and me need our alone time anyway." She laughed, her eyes gleaming.

I returned her smile, thanked her, and then left them, speeding off towards my dorm. I tried to run as fast as I could –I did not want to be held up by Taylor again.

As soon as I got there, and shut the door behind me, I relaxed and leaned up against the closed door.

And as soon as I had a few seconds of peace, my mind began working again.

Had I been wrong about Damian?

Well maybe that wasn't the right question to ask… I knew that he'd done all those bad things. The real question was, should I stop hating him and forgive him? Because I was probably worse than him now… I don't think he'd ever changed a child, not to mention lusted after a child's blood.

I sighed as I fought off tears. If anything, I should be asking him for forgiveness. No –I should be begging for his forgiveness.

Suddenly there was a sharp knocking on the door and I jumped up, taken completely off guard.

"Marie? Marie, are you there?"

Speak of the devil.

I gasped in surprise, and then resisted the urge of groaning. All I could think was, 'why, why, _why?_'

I thought about hiding for a moment, but I think he'd heard my fairly loud intake of breath. I closed my eyes briefly before turning and opening the door quickly to reveal Taylor, with a wide bright smile on his face.

"Hello Marie. I said I'd see you later, didn't I?"

I nodded, looking away uncomfortably.

"So are you up to meeting some of my friends? I know I've only been here as long as you have, but it seems I've made friends quicker than you have."

He said it sarcastically, but I _tried_ not to glare at him nonetheless. Why was he trying so hard?

"Umm… I'm not really in the mood –I just met a couple of Kathy's friends and I really don't feel like meeting too many more people…"

"Oh, but it's only a few people that you would meet. I've told some people about you, and they're just dying to meet you."

My eyes narrowed on him.

"I don't know Taylor… I really just want to stay back and relax."

"Oh…" His expression was crestfallen, and it pulled at my heart strings…

I groaned quietly, and nodded, grudgingly giving in. A smile spread across his face once more, and he took my hand to lead me. I didn't care, didn't flinch away or growl at him as I felt like doing –I was trying to be indifferent to everything now… although it felt so wrong to be holding his hand, let alone touching him.

Taylor led me along many hallways, but I barely paid attention as to where we were going. I was slowly but surely shutting down…

Suddenly we were in front of a door, which Taylor opened promptly to reveal four vampires lounging in two of the various couches around the room. As the door closed I looked around, astounded again at the pure vastness of the room.

"Hey guys! Meet Marie Alexander,"

My head snapped back down to look at the people relaxing on the couches.

Taylor began naming off the people who were all staring at me, some with curiosity, and one girl with long brown hair, bangs and a fairly slim face watched me with discontentment.

I ignored her, observing the others. And though Taylor told me all the people's names, I only remembered the girl's name who stared at me maliciously. Kayla Belle. I hoped she wasn't another Janet Menzies, although I knew I could take care of myself better now. Janet's name in my mind made me wince –I hated remembering anything, especially her– and Taylor's hand squeezed my shoulder. My teeth ground together inconspicuously.

He brought me over to sit on another couch –a two seat couch straight across from where Kayla was sitting next to a guy. She glared at me as Taylor stretched out, putting an arm around my shoulders, almost touching me.

The other three people, two guys and one girl, were watching me with polite interest.

This talk lasted a lot longer than it had with Patricia and Miguel. I think we touched on almost every subject…

Kayla didn't talk much, and when she did, it was resentfully. I didn't know what her problem was, and I could only keep guessing at what it was. It seemed whenever someone had a problem with me, I never knew what it was.

As the hours flew by, I became more at ease with talking, though I still did not enjoy it. The whole time I wished I would have just hidden from him before. Why did my stupid feelings have to sway me to allow him to drag me here?

Just then I saw something that made me freeze and stare in petrified silence. Damian had passed by the door, and for a moment, I'd made eye contact with him. This was my first time seeing him since our fight, and surprisingly I was relieved and happy to see him.

Suddenly I shot up from my seat and everybody's eyes widened in shock.

"What is it Marie?" Taylor said in surprise. He rose, and I saw Kayla's eyes follow his every movement before she turned her head and glowered at me. In that one second everything clicked –as in, I knew why Kayla had thorn in her side. _Oh_. She had an infatuation with Taylor, and she could see how friendly he was with me. She thought I wanted to steal him away from her.

But that thought didn't stay with me long –I had to catch up with _him_. For what reason, I had yet to understand.

"Uhh sorry, Taylor, guys… I need to be somewhere. I'll catch up with you later,"

As soon as I spoke the later sentence I immediately kicked myself mentally. I would definitely regret that later, but at the moment I couldn't care less.

Not waiting for their answer, I ran from the room and out into the hall. I stopped for a moment, my head shot in all different directions, trying to find where he had gone. But as I looked around, I saw the hall was absolutely deserted –a ghost town. He was no where in sight.

Turning around, I began my way back to my dorm. I didn't know what I was thinking, or even who I was anymore.

I didn't see him for the next week as I attended my new classes. I was becoming more and more used to everything everyday, though some things I was still not totally used to.

I couldn't get over my guilt over the last hunt, and I had yet to figure out what to think of Damian. Basically all anger toward him had evaporated. I was half way to the answer, I could feel it…

And thinking of hunting, my throat was burning worse than it ever had before. I'd realized this with great surprise because I didn't grasp that it would only be a few days later that I would be thirsty again. It drove me crazy, and I almost broke down a couple times when Kathy offered to go hunting with me. But I absolutely refused to take another life –I would never ever go hunting again, even though as the days progressed I felt like I was going through withdrawal. I didn't know the consequences of my decision yet, but I was more than willing to take the risk.

Sometimes I was taken over by the need –incapacitated, and then suddenly it would disappear, and I would not remember where I was or what I was doing for those few moments. Occasionally I would start to shake, and it felt like my throat was actually on fire at one point. I made an effort to keep this pain a secret from other people… I wouldn't burden anyone else with my problems.

Now, I was on my way to gym. It was girls and boys mixed, and no one seemed to mind much.

Taylor tagged along with me basically wherever I went now, even if it wasn't his class, though he had few classes that I wasn't in. I guess I could count him as a friend, but I didn't like that he was so… forward, I guess you could say. I could tell Kayla didn't like it either.

Every time she saw us in the hallway she would glare at me just like the first time she saw me. And it was frustrating to say the least. I would have to tell Taylor to be a little less friendly with me, since I really did not want any more hostile looks from Kayla.

Taylor and I parted when we got to the gym doors, to go change. I still could not get over how large everything was, but I guess it was necessary… I mean, the last gym class we had there was a wrestling match between two guys, and one of them threw the other man the whole length of the gym where he crashed into the wall, leaving a fairly big dent. It was a little shocking for me to watch, but for everyone else it was normal and entertaining.

I changed quickly, as did everyone else.

"Hey, Marie!"

"Hey Pat."

My voice was a tiny bit warmer than I would address anyone else. For the most part, people were nicer to me than before… well in the sense that I had some friends, and everyone else that I did not know didn't try to kill me or were not intentionally being rude to me.

We walked out of the change rooms where the gym teacher immediately told us to pair up with someone. I was thankful that Pat instantly claimed me, not giving Taylor a chance to. She slung her arm around me as I watched Kayla walk up jovially to him. She glanced at me slightly quizzically, as if to question why I wasn't with him, and I smiled pleasantly back. Her eyes got wider, and more people than just her looked at me funny. I never usually smiled around people –that's why it was such a shocker to them.

We went to grab a medicine ball –this was going to be an agility exercise. Sometimes, maybe, we would play an actual sport at the end of the period. But mostly we would do strength, endurance, and agility exercises. I didn't understand why…

"All right, listen up everyone!"

The teacher had to yell since the forty or so students were all talking at once. It was actually a pretty large sized class.

As soon as everyone had closed shut their mouths, she began to speak again.

"Okay… Here's what's going to happen. Line up in two rows, a few metres apart from each other at least. One of you is going to throw the ball at your partner. The person is going to dodge it, then the person who threw the ball move over one spot. Whoever dodged the ball, retrieve it quickly then get back in line. Repeat that pattern until I blow the whistle. Go!"

She blew the whistle and we all lined up quickly.

Pat threw the ball at me with all her muscle and it came rocketing towards my head before I ducked. It was amazing how fast everything came at you, and then how fast you could react. Before, my head would have been snapped off because of how hard the ball was thrown. I wouldn't have been able to move fast enough either –it came at my head in less than a second.

I recovered the ball speedily, and then threw the ball at the next person. I almost tripped a couple of times surprisingly, though I guessed it really wasn't that much of a surprise…

Though the exercise was repetitive, it wasn't very tedious. True, I didn't see the point in it, but it was exhilarating I had to admit. For some reason I found it somewhat thrilling to test how fast I could go.

This went on for twenty minutes or so. We were almost halfway done –gym was the longest period in a day.

As I began to wonder when exactly the whistle was going to sound, something made me freeze up –a bad mistake.

Damian walked in through the gym doors.

Someone pushed me to the side, and I fumbled about, glancing back at him all the while. He looked around, his eyes roaming the room… until they rested on me.

And then suddenly, as I looked away from him for a moment, I watched the ball come flying at my face. Then it hit, sending me flying back a few feet where I hit the ground. My head landed with a crack, and I actually felt the sting of the ball that had hit my face.

Everything was deadly silent for a moment until I heard the worried voices of people.

"Oh my god, Marie! Are you okay?"

Pat's worried voice exclaimed beside me. I felt hands touching me as I tried to make sense of things in a daze. The dizziness wore off soon enough though, and I began to sit up wearily. I felt people helping me up, and I looked to see Pat and Taylor kneeling beside me, concerned looks on their faces. I sighed and looked away, more than a bit mortified.

Taylor helped pulled me up gently by holding onto my elbow and Pat had her hand on my shoulder, looking me over to see if I was all right.

"I'm all right…" I sighed, extremely sheepish.

Pat let out a sigh or relief and appraised me with questioning eyes.

"What happened?"

I looked past her, searching for him. But he was no where to be found –again. Was I just imagining him now? Was I conjuring up an image of him in my mind because of various reasons I didn't want to think of?

Pat noticed me glancing behind her, and turned to look at the nothing I was staring at. She then turned back to scrutinize me, raising an eyebrow.

"Did you see Damian?" I asked quietly.

She frowned, shaking her head, and that resulted in making my blood run cold. Oh no –I actually _was_ going insane.

Taylor saw my wide eyed expression, and sighed, closing his eyes before he spoke.

"I saw Damian. He walked in, doing his rounds… But then he ran out after he saw you get hit. The lousy, good for nothing…"

I had a feeling I was not supposed to hear the latter part, and I quickly tuned out his voice so I wouldn't hear the rest.

Pat nodded, her eyes wide and an uncertain look on her face.

"Alexander! What happened?" The gym teacher said impatiently. Everyone had stopped and was now staring at me, either with confusion, surprise, or worry in their eyes. I was holding up her gym class, and I had to answer as to why this was.

"Umm… I got distracted and got hit by a ball. It's not a big deal –no one needs to worry about me."

I said the last sentence a little louder, implying that I wanted everyone to stop being so anxious.

"Well maybe you should sit the rest of this class out if you can't concentrate on our activities."

I knew this was a sarcastic, rhetorical statement –something that I was not supposed to agree with, but I couldn't help the words that popped out of my mouth.

"All right –that sounds like a good idea."

I turned around, not taking any time to see the teacher's response, and made my way back to the change room quickly. I heard the whistle sound for everyone to start the exercise again just as Pat ran up beside me quickly to ask me if I wanted her to come with me.

"Are you sure? Where are you going to go?"

My lips puckered speculatively.

"I'll just go back to my dorm. I feel like taking the rest of the day off anyway," She smiled at me, nodded, and ran back to the group. I was glad she didn't press the matter any further.

Speedily, I changed and ran back up to my dorm. He had to stop surprising me like that. Or rather, I had to stop being so appalled when I saw him. My reaction was a little too noticeable.

The room was empty when I got there –Kathy wouldn't be back for at least an hour or so.

I laid myself down on the couch, closing my eyes and pressing my fingers to my temples in concentration. All right. There were no distractions this time –I had to figure things out here and now.

Picking up where I left off before Taylor interrupted me days ago, I thought about my wrongs and his. I was no one to judge. I'd killed too…

And what about what Kathy had said? Was it really his decision? I had to ask myself if I really would want him killed for what he'd done, since if he disobeyed that would be his consequence.

And with a pain ripping through my chest, I realized I wouldn't. It wasn't his fault… it was the awful monsters on the council. They were ordering people around and if someone didn't obey…

How could I have said those things to him? I was more of a monster than him. I'd made the choice to kill those people… To go after that girl.

As I reflected back on that scene, where I was wallowing in a pool of blood, the little girl reaching out to me to make the pain go away, I remembered with clarity how he had acted.

He had rushed over to me –to _comfort_ me. He took me in his arms and hugged me, let me bury my face in his chest and bleach out his shirt with my tears, murmured soothing words –tried to make _me_ feel better. He had looked out for me all along, and I had treated him like… like…

All of a sudden I burst into tears, my hands gripping in my hair in frustration. What had I _done_?

He had been there for me the whole time –almost everyday since he'd first met me. And what had I said to him –how had I treated him? How could I have been so oblivious and stupid?

Tears streamed down my face as I tried to figure out what I was going to do. I could never ask for him to forgive me –I didn't deserve it, not by a long shot. So what would I do? I shouldn't be able to talk to him, to be near him… even though I realized how much I really wanted it. I truly was a monstrosity.

I tried to get a grip on myself; stop the crying… I needed to be in complete control of myself when Kathy got here. I didn't want to let her know my dilemma for now, since I knew exactly what she would tell me. Just take the chance and go apologize. But I didn't believe it was that simple… I just knew I wouldn't be forgiven –after all, how _could_ someone forgive all of that? And I felt… like I wanted more. How self centered could I get?

So for the next hour and a half until Kathy got to the dorm I battled with myself to retain composure. I only managed to about ten minutes before she walked through the door.

"Hey Marie!" She laughed. Through my numbness I looked at her questioningly.

"Pat told me about your gym class."

I sighed and looked away, rolling my eyes. I expected as much.

"And during that same conversation she wondered if we would want to stop by the store tonight."

I frowned, confused. Why would she want us to go to the store again tonight? Kathy answered the confusion in my eyes.

"I'm not sure. She just asked if we want to hang around with her a bit –probably because she wants someone to talk to. She gets lonely and bored sometimes,"

I nodded, looking at her calculatingly. She smiled, and came to sit down beside me.

"So how was the rest of your day?"

Her eyes looked me over once, and I noticed her face fell slightly as her eyes stayed glued on one part on my uniform. I grimaced and cursed myself as I looked down to the spot where her eyes were locked on. Some areas of my collar were bleached white instead of the black it was supposed to be, and I knew immediately she knew there was something up. Why could she always find out if something was wrong with me so quickly?

She laid a hand on my shoulder, and looked me in the eyes sadly.

"What's wrong?" She said comfortingly. I sighed roughly.

"Don't be worried –I do this to you way too often, and frankly, I'm feeling guilty because of it."

She shook her head fiercely, her expression surprised.

"Oh no, no, no, Marie –I like helping my friends. And I will help you through whatever is troubling you until it is over and done with. Is it about the 'incident'?"

She referred to my last and only hunting trip as the 'incident'. I shook my head, dejected.

"No, sadly –it's more than that."

Her eyes widened, and she turned me so I was facing her properly, both her hands on my shoulders.

"Is it Damian?"

I looked away again, ashamed.

"What happened?"

"I'd called _him_ the wretched creature –well I just realized that _I _am the wretched creature."

I don't think her face could get anymore staggered.

"You understand now –so you're not angry with him anymore?"

I had to keep the tears at bay for now. I didn't want to alarm her anymore than she already was.

"More like the opposite. I feel awful –I feel like begging for his forgiveness."

"I don't think he's angry with you –I don't think he ever was. Just go say sorry anyway–"

"No! It's not that simple. I think I… want more than that."

She stared at me, speechless.

"So… what are you saying exactly?"

"Oh, I don't know!" I slumped back into the couch, my hands gripping my face in frustration.

She patted me on the shoulder, a small smile on her face. I think she didn't really know whether to smile or not. She was probably happy about my breakthrough, but upset about how I was reacting.

"I know everything will turn out."

I looked at her, a bit doubtfully and incredulously at the same time.

"Why do you keep saying that?"

She smiled genuinely this time.

"Because I can sense it –I just know it will be okay. I wish you could feel the same kind of reassurance I am feeling right now."

I frowned at her, and she began to fidget nervously, looking away awkwardly.

"Umm, well… we should be going to see Pat. Let's go,"

She took my hand and didn't give me a choice in the matter as she pulled me off the couch and out the door.

I didn't understand how she knew this or what the 'feeling' or hers was, and I considered it for a moment. Should I have hope and believe her? I didn't accept there was a chance, but Kathy seemed pretty convinced…

We ran through the halls, yet again. It had never occurred to me before, but I thought maybe the reason why Kathy gripped onto my hand and ran her fastest through the hallways was because she wanted to avoid Taylor. I still didn't understand their rivalry, or even why he seemed to like me so much. How could he be so oblivious to Kayla's reactions when he was around me?

It seemed like almost seconds later we were in the store and in front of the check out, watching a beaming Pat almost jumping up and down in place.

"Hey guys! Boy, have I got a surprise for you Marie. Kathy and I picked this out for you and I know it's going to look just gorgeous on you,"

I stared at her a little apprehensively. Oh no –not more clothing.

"Well, it was originally Pat's find. But she showed me and I agree one hundred percent," Kathy giggled, looking at my expression.

Pat took my other hand and led me over to a dressing room, where my mouth dropped at the sight of a stunning dress.

It was strapless, long, milk white, and had sort of a medieval design to it with black lace bows crossing across the chest.

My eyes widened, staring at both their glowing faces.

"So… what do you think?"

I kept looking at them open mouthed for a few more moments before I finally was able to speak.

"I can't… oh my gosh…"

"Yes you can, Marie! We only picked it out for you –it didn't cost us anything, as you can imagine. Remember –you didn't get a dress the last time you were shopping."

I looked between them and the dress a few more times, absolutely shocked. I don't think their smiles could get anymore satisfied and delighted.

"Where did you find it?" My voice was somewhat breathless, and I attempted to compose myself. I could not believe that they would do that for me, and at the same time I was angry at myself for acting so dramatically.

"I looked through a catalogue, and asked if they could do some changes on one of the dresses for me –I have a lot of friends in the business. Well anyway, it arrived a few hours ago. I'm glad they work so fast…"

Wow. I'd only known her a week and a bit, but she was turning out to be one of my really good friends. Kathy and Will, Josie and –wait a minute –Josie! Oh my god, I'd forgotten all about her in my weeks of change. I wondered what she was doing now…

Kathy's intent eyes brought me back to the real world.

"Oh, umm… I love it Pat, Kathy… I absolutely adore it. Thank you…"

They both grinned and vigorously motioned for me to go in and try it on. Too polite to sigh, I stepped in and closed the door. I stripped out of my uniform quickly, meanwhile thinking about Josie and other things I had never thought to think of. And things I had missed –like how Damian had been there the whole time and I had been too ignorant and blind through anger.

I was such an idiot.


	14. Chapter 14: Unpleasant Encounters

Chp 14: Unpleasant Encounters

Even more days past, and every day I didn't see him I felt even more awful.

Kathy attempted to console me, but as she comforted me, her tone lost a bit of hope. Besides, she was busy planning the dance that was in less than a week.

I didn't like doing that to her, not at all, but it was so apparent that I was upset over something –well, at least when I let my mind slip. I would begin brooding when I got back from class –Kathy was usually late because she would stop by Will's dorm for a moment to tell him when he could hang out with us– and well… Kathy could really tell when I was upset, and now that she knew the reason why she couldn't help but trying to make me feel better. Her attempts were in vain though. I still felt terrible. And I would not say anything to Damian –he was probably already angry enough, although he was too gentleman to just downright say he hated me. I would only feel worse if I said sorry and he rejected it –especially since I felt like I wanted _more_.

"Hey Marie… Do you want to help plan with me? We still need some extra hands… you know, decorators and stuff,"

I pursed my lips, coming out of my trance to look at Kathy's hopeful face.

"Yeah, sure –why not. I need to get out and do something anyway,"

My voice was slightly monotonous, and Kathy grimaced as I stood up, getting up off the couch.

It was late at night now –class wouldn't be starting for another few hours.

Her arm wound around my shoulders as we left the dorm and walked at a normal pace down to the gala hall.

There were so many different rooms and halls for different purposes, it was unbelievable –and maybe even a little stupid, I thought. I had to wonder exactly how big this place was, where exactly it was, or rather, where I was, and then if I could ever explore the whole place.

I had yet to visit this particular hall –it was only used for social events and this was my first dance of the year.

"It's a semi formal, and we really don't have a theme or anything… so we're just going to be setting up strobe lights and balloons, silver streamers, etcetera… A lot of the decorations are going to be silver."

I nodded as she talked business on our way. I wasn't really looking forward to setting up decorations, but what could I do. I had to get out and about, distract myself momentarily from the constant bashings of my conscience.

"This is a good opportunity for you to meet new people who are also helping out."

I shook my head, my jaw taut.

"I think I've met enough people. Not many people like me, and I don't understand how I have friends now in the first place,"

Kathy rolled her eyes.

"I don't get why you think that. You're just feeling awful about everything right now because of–"

I shot her a look that silenced her instantly, but she continued on a different subject nonetheless.

"Well anyway, you're very likable when you let yourself be. Try to talk to people. It's better to have friends here than not."

I sighed and nodded, though I didn't agree. I wasn't going to _try_ to socialize with people. If someone talked to me, I would return the favour, and that was it. I doubted anyone would anyway.

When we were on the main floor, and had walked down many hallways, we finally arrived at a large set of doors. Kathy didn't hesitate to push them open and grin at the people who were on ladders and walking around the large space as we entered. It was almost like the gym –there were only a few minor differences.

Many people glanced up at us from there work and called a greeting, mainly to Kathy.

"Hello guys! We still have a lot of work to do, so let's hurry. We want to be done this tonight or tomorrow night so we can get on with our lives till the big night!"

Some people chuckled as they went back to work, speeding up the pace. Some of them were working at a normal, human pace, and others were going at a vampire pace. I flinched slightly as I said it in my head –I don't know if I would ever get used to the word.

One person suddenly appeared in front of us, causing Kathy and me to stop as we took one step to walk ahead.

"Hey Kathy!" This was someone I'd never seen before –she had golden brown hair braided at the sides of her head, had a narrow angular face, wide burgundy eyes, and wore a uniform– but apparently Kathy knew her because they started talking animatedly. I groaned mentally –how many people did Kathy _know_ on a personal level?

"Bridgette, this is Marie Alexander."

Bridgette turned to me, her lips set in a wide grin.

"Hello Marie –it's a pleasure." She reached out, took my hand and shook it lightly. She too, like most other people I met, seemed to come from a different time.

"I've been working closely with Bridgette for awhile now. We're the people the council usually asks to plan the dances and social events."

I nodded and Bridgette seemed to be watching my every move up to when Kathy claimed her attention.

"Now, Bridgette, how are we moving along time wise?"

Kathy wrapped her arm around Bridgette's shoulders and they began to walk away, leaving me staring after them, standing there without a clue on what I was supposed to do.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder, and I turned to see another man I didn't know smiling at me.

"Hey –you look a little lost."

I grimaced and nodded slightly, resisting the urge to mutter a sarcastic remark to shoot him down. He seemed nice, and looked like he only wanted to help.

"Yah, B can be like that sometimes, and I don't know about Kathy… I guess she just got caught up in the moment."

I nodded, really looking at him now. Like Bridgette, he had burgundy eyes and his hair was almost the same tone as hers. They almost looked like they could be brother and sister.

"Oh, excuse me –I'm Jason. I'm Bridgette's boyfriend."

"_Oh_." I was wondering who exactly he was.

"You and Bridgette look like you could be–"

"Brother and sister? Yah, I know… Almost everyone thinks that at first."

"Oh, sorry…" It surprised me somewhat, and I was immediately a little ashamed of assuming that.

"It's all right, as I said many people make the mistake. So, did Kathy bring you here for a reason…?"

I nodded, snapping out of it. Casual conversation was kind of rare these days.

"Umm, yes… I'm supposed to be decorating I guess,"

He nodded, and motioned for me to walk with him. I walked along beside him to a stack of boxes.

"Here are the decorations… I guess you can tag along with me and put up some things if you don't have anyone else to go with,"

I shook my head as I looked towards Kathy and Bridgette, who were pointing out something and then giggling.

"No, I guess I'll just hang with you."

He chuckled lightly as he reached into the box and brought out an armful of silver streamers, ribbons…

"Huh, you say that like it's a bad thing…"

I looked to his face to see if he was serious, but he only laughed harder and shook his head.

We decorated until it was starting to get light outside. Everything looked amazing after we'd finished, though Kathy and Bridgette didn't seem satisfied with it.

"We still have some work to do here, people, and I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to come in one more night. I know we'll perfect it tonight."

Only few people groaned as she said it.

I'd mostly stayed with Jason and talked to him a little. It seemed like I was meeting new people all the time.

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you again tonight," He sighed. I raised an eyebrow.

"_You_ say that like it's a bad thing." I mocked him, and he laughed, causing more than a few people to look back at us.

A second later, Bridgette had her arms wrapped around Jason.

"I'm sorry I left you baby… I was kind of preoccupied."

He forgave her, still laughing under his breath, and leaned down to kiss her. Kathy was there a moment later, draping her arm around my shoulders casually once more.

"Hey guys. I see you've met Jason too… Did you have fun?"

"Yah, we had loads of fun." He winked at me and I laughed half heartedly.

Kathy grinned at me.

"Well that's good. Umm, I'll have to catch you two later. Marie and I have some business to attend to…"

Bridgette nodded, seeming eager to get away from us. I sighed.

Kathy began to lead us away, but where to I didn't know. I wondered what our business was or if it was just an excuse to leave.

"What 'business' do we have Kathy?"

"We have to go see Nathaniel –he wanted an update on how we were doing."

My eyes widened, and if Kathy hadn't have given me a pull I would be rooted to the ground in terror and shock.

Nathaniel was the top of the council –the murderer who ordered everyone around. _He_ was the one who made the ultimate decisions –the one responsible for everything.

Kathy grimaced.

"I know… I was never comfortable talking to him. And now that I understand more, well I just plain don't like him. But I'm the one in charge of getting everything ready, and he's asked for a report. You know I can't deny him."

I sighed heavily once more and, with what felt like an ice block in the pit of my stomach, walked alongside Kathy towards probably the most evil I would ever encounter.

We arrived at a fairly large wooden door –nothing fancy or anything, and definitely not like any others. It almost looked like a dungeon door to me.

Kathy's arm reached out to knock, and before she could actually knock someone opened the door. I recognized it to be Shelly, and she beamed at Kathy and me.

"Hello girls! What can I do for you?"

"We need to see Nathaniel." Kathy didn't hesitate to speak in a friendly tone. I guess she was really good at sounding pleasant when she actually was in a bad mood.

"Oh yes –that dance. It's sounds as though it's going to be extravagant."

Kathy beamed appreciatively as Shelly opened the door more, moving a bit so she could motion for us to enter.

We walked in, me looking around, as I always did, and Kathy didn't hesitate in walking towards another large door. I realized this room was a waiting room, or something like it. There were green posh chairs lining the back wall and along the left side wall leading up to the other door. The right side was another hallway.

"You can go right on into his office and wait for him Kathy. Marie, you can wait right here until they're done."

I gave Kathy an uncertain, slightly frightened look and she attempted to give me an encouraging smile as she glided over to the door, opened it and disappeared behind it.

Shelly gestured for me to sit down on the chair, a smile on her pretty, old fashioned face before she walked away, down the small hallway.

I sighed and sat down with a plonk, looking around the room, exasperated. For a few moments, I just stared off into space, trying not to notice where I was.

"Good morning,"

My head snapped to the side, to see a man that was in his late twenties, early thirties at most. His hair was very light brown –the colour of sand–, and it was slightly shaggy so it obscured his black eyes as he stared at me. He was dressed in a business-like grey suit, completed with a black tie. His appearance was not that of a student.

"You must be Marie,"

My eyes widened at him in shock. How had he known that?

I nodded tightly, staring at him with my face wiped clean of all emotion.

"Well it's nice to finally meet you Marie. As you probably know, my name is Nathaniel."

If I wasn't frozen before, I was absolutely still now –like a deer caught in the lights of an oncoming car.

"Umm… Hello…" I stuttered. He sighed, and moved to sit beside me. I flinched at his approach, but he didn't seem to mind if he had even noticed at all.

"Why are you upset,"

I gave him a questioning look. Why would he think that I was upset? I'd just met him so there wasn't a single plausible reason why he should think there was something wrong. And two, he shouldn't care.

I kept my expression carefully indifferent –hiding the fear that I actually felt.

"I'm not upset." My voice was very monotonous; matching my stance.

He shot me an incredulous glance.

"So you're telling me you're always like this –unemotional, depressed… You stick out in a crowd, you know."

He was implying that he always saw me like this –which meant he'd been watching me. And I had never known until now –I'd never seen him before. I shuddered.

"And apparently you _don't_ stick out in a crowd." I retorted icily –I wouldn't let him affect me right now.

He smiled slightly, and shook his head.

"Marie, Marie, Marie…I've never met someone as obstinate as you. You're so sad and spiteful –why could that be? Is there a problem lingering on your mind all the time?"

Was he a psychologist or something? Because I could tell he was trying to make me talk.

"Does it have something to do with Damian? Because I've noticed he is… well I don't know how to put it. He's always been indifferent about everything, but he has an air of… sadness now. Depression."

I attempted to keep my emotions in check, but I was failing miserably. He was making me crack –and I would've been fine if he hadn't brought up the issue of Damian. Damian could always bring me to life.

He noticed how my eyes widened, and I now had a mixture of sadness, concern, and dejection in my expression.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Shelly snuck up on us from around the corner. Good thing she showed up when she did –I had almost been cracked wide open, and all that he needed to do was say something to make me even more vulnerable than I already was, and then he would know what was going on in my head.

He stood up almost immediately.

"Katherine Miles is waiting in your office for you."

He nodded, glancing at me only once more before he entered his office.

I sat there, kind of stunned and pondering over our conversation for about fifteen more minutes before Kathy came out, looking relieved.

Her eyes widened seriously on me, and then she grabbed my arm, pulling me up and practically dragging me out of the room and through the halls back to our dorm. She didn't speak the whole time, and I couldn't get a look at her face because I couldn't keep up with her, which resulted in me tripping and scrambling to get my footing –something that was now very uncommon to me.

"Kathy, what's wrong? How did it go?"

Despite my fright, I was trying to see how she felt. I didn't want her to notice how actually uneasy I felt.

"I don't really want to talk about it –I'm already too upset as it is. I can't stand to talk to him at all anymore! He actually disgusts me,"

I nodded in understanding. I knew exactly what she meant.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**_Uhh... yah :) I've changed the name of the story, cause i like Paramour better. it suits it... and if you know what it means, you'd know why hintidy hint hint XD BUT WAIT don't go look it up! you'll ruin it. wait for the surprise later ;) anyways -sorry for the uber short chapter... but I know the next chapter will make up for it. :D anyway, if you can see it in your heart to review please do:) it makes my day whenever I see a review -seriously, even if it's just to say you like it, i'll squeal with happiness :D so review, review, review... ima sure you're going to want to when you see what happens in the next few chapters -smiles devilishly and raises an eyebrow- welll... i guess that's all from me for now. buhbye :)_**

**_-darkvampire_**


	15. Chapter 15: Inconvenient Truth

Chp 15: Inconvenient Truth

I couldn't believe I was being dragged to another one of these things, and why our kind would even want one. Yes, I still shied away from the 'v' word because it was still pretty impossible that I was one.

This time, I knew I wasn't going to be brutally murdered. Hopefully not, anyway, but I did remember that I had had an awful time at the last one I went to, and I definitely was not looking forward to this one.

Kathy and I walked through the halls, late as she had promised so I would not attract too much attention when we entered.

"Katherine, I really think I can't do this." She scowled at me for using her full name, and for trying to weasel my way out at the last minute. She grabbed my hand firmly, and I stared ominously at her.

"There is _no_ way you're getting away from me now. I spent all day getting you ready for this, and you _are_ going to enjoy it with me, so just try to be a good sport tonight, all right?" Mumbling to myself in irritation, I nodded and looked away from her slightly concerned, yet patronizing face.

"Will is waiting for me inside the grand hall somewhere, so he can find me easier, and then we will join you. Is that okay with you?" I considered it until we stopped in front of the door to the dance floor, where loud dance music was pumping, and in that instant I panicked.

"No, I'd rather come with you…" But Kathy's hand was still tight on mine, and she reached to open the door to push me in.

"Kathy, no! I don't have anyone that I can hang out with in there. Can I just please stay with you till we all go in?" I pleaded with her. She shook her head, and gave me a wide, evil grin.

"No –Pat and Miguel are in there. And this is the perfect night for you to be acquainted with more people. I don't know why you would think people would reject you –it's an absurd idea. But if you open up and let yourself socialize, you'll gain some friends. Besides, Damian is in there," Her smile really turned devilish after that statement, and my eyes widened. _Damian…?_

Suddenly she pushed me in, shouting behind her as she turned to dart toward the grand-hall before I could strangle her, "Have fun!"

I heard her giggles half-way down the hall from where I now stood, awkward in the dark. Couples started to push their way past me to get to the dance floor. Strobe lights came on, flashing in every direction a beam of colour, and I was really very surprised no one had a seizure. It was almost an overload for my senses, anyway.

An electronica song came on again, and everyone started dancing, giving me a chance to be undetected as I disappeared to find a dark dank corner, where hopefully I wouldn't be bothered as I had before. Maybe the boys here wouldn't be so cruel as to ask me to dance with them as a joke, like before when they did in the human world. I cringed at the memory, since it was not one of my fondest ones.

The dance floor _was_ huge like everything about this place, but unlike the dance back in Salmo, here was much more crowded. And it didn't smell faintly of sweat from the people who were dancing. Everything smelt nice now… except for the blood I still refused to drink. I didn't want to think about that problem right now, so I let it slip, and I just settled in one of the unoccupied corners yet again, but this time I did not people watch. It bored me now, for some odd reason.

Leaning against the wall, and being careful at the same time to not ruin my outfit Kathy had apparently slaved over, I sighed and closed my eyes. Why was I here? There really was no point. I didn't have a mate, so there really was no point to being here. Besides, I couldn't dance, and I had made Kathy well aware of that, but she still forced me to come.

I looked down again at my outfit, marveling at it. I still could not believe Pat and her did that for me.

Without warning, someone tapped my shoulder and sent me jumping at least a meter in the air. I landed wrong on my high-heels, and was heading towards the floor, but was caught by two steady arms. So far, this must have been the most embarrassing moment in my history. How had anyone been able to sneak up on me, unnoticed? Even though the music was being blared so much that it hurt my ears, it was no excuse.

I brushed off my surprise and anger, not wanting to let the person who had scared me see how much that move had gotten to me. I straightened out of whoever's grasp that had caught me to see Taylor, laughing at me openly. I glowered. How had I not heard him sneak up on me like that? I could've saved myself the embarrassment if I had been paying closer attention.

"Sorry –I didn't mean to startle you," He said apologetically, but I could hear he was still laughing quietly under his breath. My eyes narrowed.

"No problem. It was completely my fault. I should have been paying more attention." Each word was distinct, and I spoke through my gritted teeth in frustration. Why wouldn't this guy just leave me alone? Couldn't he take a hint? I mean, there was absolutely nothing about my expression that was open and friendly any time he was around me.

"Okay… well then, I had come over in the first place to ask if you wanted to dance with me…" As soon as he had said the word 'dance' I started to shake my head vehemently.

"No but thank-you for asking Taylor." He looked bewildered and let down, and it almost shook my reasoning, but I held firm. Why did I have to be so sympathetic? But I knew this was a part of who I was now, and I couldn't change it… unfortunately.

"Why not?" He sounded sulky and put out. I frowned slightly, trying to keep from giving in to his wish out of pity.

"Well… I just don't like to dance, all right?" My voice was starting to take on an edge of annoyance.

"Why not?" He repeated. I didn't get a chance to answer his question, trying to keep my cool all the while, because Damian, my savior for the second time, showed up beside me, seemingly coming out of no where like he always did. It was only irritating when he wasn't saving my butt from something… like this.

"I think she's answered your question quite fully; you don't need to know why." Damian's usually calming, melodic voice held an unusual tone of petulance and irritation. Taylor straightened up, and looked at us both suspiciously, his black eyes holding accusation. But what kind of accusation I hadn't a clue.

"Fine… I'll catch you later, Marie." It sounded like he really meant it, and I made a mental note to be as elusive as possible, or leave early, so I wouldn't have to dance with him… or at least tell him why I didn't like dancing.

I turned to Damian, smiling gratefully despite his slightly pained expression. I definitely did not like seeing that. I started talking in an attempt to distract him.

"Thank-you for that; I wasn't really in the mood to describe, even as a vampire, how I am still a bit clumsy." He didn't look too amused by my statement, so I tried to change the subject once more.

"So, what are you doing here? Is this just fate, us meeting so coincidentally at the same two dances?" He cracked a small smile and laughed.

"Of course it is," He said mockingly, then added more seriously, "I'm supposed to be at every one of these things, supervising people," He smiled composedly at that.

"You know, I am older than almost everyone here, and that's why it's my job," He looked at my face for a reaction. To my surprise, it was easy to smile back in response to him. I think I was beginning to slip out of my denial faze, and was now accepting… of everything.

"Oh my –we have a three hundred and fifty year old man here, crashing the party. What should we do with him?" He started to laugh again, and I actually thought of possibilities of how I could throw him out, only jokingly of course. This was kind of awkward for me, and I was sure it was the same for him.

"Did Kathy drag you here?" He guessed. I nodded, sighing.

"How did you find out so quickly?" I asked sarcastically; he knew me, and he also knew that I would never be here by my own will… poor, predictable Kathy.

"So what do you plan on doing here, being dragged around by an apparently invisible Kathy?" I thought for a moment, unsure.

"I'm not really sure at the moment… I have tried, once more, the tactic of hiding in the corner, and apparently it hasn't worked." I unquestionably wasn't trying that again.

He nodded, agreeing with me.

"And I'm waiting for her –she should be here any minute now. How long does it take her to get Will anyway?" He shook his head and chuckled.

"Did you know Kathy never used to be so bubbly? And that she's actually like us? That's why we've never seen her eyes red… her eye colour was almost black to begin with. Her personality also did a complete flip when she was changed." He didn't seem too concerned that anyone would hear us and no one did over the blasting music.

This information put me in awe, and I immediately had more interest in our conversation.

"Really? She is? Then why can't she remember her past? And what was she like before the change?" He snickered at my enthusiasm.

"Well… I have a theory that she's suppressing memories. And that is probably because she was sort of suicidal. Emo, in slang, I guess you could say. I knew she slit her wrists because I smelled the blood every morning." I was in shock, and he didn't seem too bothered about talking about how suicidal Kathy was.

"Do you have any idea why?" He shook his head, and I frowned.

"Don't you get to know people before you change them?" He looked away for a minute.

"Yes. But only a little, so little that I can just tell them who they are when I 'find' them." He winked at me seriously, hoping I wouldn't be so stupid to have to force him to have to explain it to me. I nodded, but a question bubbled at my lips, and I could not stop it from coming out.

"Then why did you want to know so much about me?" I asked softly, trying not to scare the truth out of him. He was still looking away until a few moments after. He seemed reluctant to answer.

"I don't really know myself. I just felt like I needed to know you better." I could tell he would say no more by the way his jaw was set, and I let it drop, quickly realizing how embarrassing the conversation was getting. I focused on what he had told me about Kathy. I couldn't really imagine Kathy, the bouncy pop princess with her long flowing red hair, being suicidal. It's too bad she couldn't remember why so she could tell me. I wonder how you could trigger suppressed memories, but then again, maybe they were suppressed for a reason.

"Have you figured out what you are going to do yet?" He asked me casually. I sighed.

"No, and I don't want to find out." He laughed at me. And at that precise moment, Kathy showed up, hand-in-hand with the usual emotionless Will. Kathy, by comparison, was glowing with enthusiasm.

"Hey Marie… Damian." She nodded toward him briefly before turning back to me and winking; ecstatic. I rolled my eyes.

"Hello Kathy. What are you two going to do now?" My voice held a note of annoyance, but Kathy ignored it; too caught up in the moment to notice. Either that or she really didn't care what I thought. The second option was the most likely.

"Will and I want to start dancing. Why don't you two join us?" My eyes had gone wide again, and I shook my head quickly. Kathy shot me a dark look.

"_Come on_, Marie! Have some fun with us." She gestured toward herself, Will, and Damian in one swift motion. But Damian shook his head, his green eyes slightly sad.

"Sorry, but I have to observe other people. I need to get going." As he said the word, 'observe' his face twisted into a grimace. He started to turn to walk back into the crowd, but Kathy was there in the blink of an eye, and she caught his arm before he could disappear. Her eyes were blazing with determination, and she had that angelic smile back on her face. My eyes narrowed on her beautiful, innocent face. What was she up to?

"Oh, stay with us for a few more minutes, Damian! Let's dance." He started to protest, but she grabbed my arm roughly and pulled me toward him, linking our arms before he could say anymore. He looked down on me, his face emotionless, but I could see deep in his eyes a little bit of shock, embarrassment, and longing. My eyebrows furrowed slightly on my shy face. Was he yearning to get out of here, away from us? And most importantly, did he want to get away from me? My stomach did a frightened flip, but my face remained timid, looking away from his face every few seconds to regain enough composure so I could look at him again. He gave me a small smile, and Kathy gave me an encouraging one.

"Let's _go_ guys! I want to dance!" Kathy pulled both of us behind her, mine and Damian's arm still linked. Somehow, Kathy guided us untroubled out into the middle of the swarming dance floor. I looked down the whole time, self-conscious. This wasn't right. I didn't deserve this; I had shunned him out for far too long now, and I don't think anything could repair our relationship now. Even though, secretly, I wished something could. I was surprised he didn't leave before when Kathy had forced us together, and I was wondering why he was still beside me right now.

We waited only a few seconds before the music came on. And, oh joy, Kathy had picked the perfect time to dance; when a slow song came on. Why, every time, did a slow song have to come on when Damian and I were dancing? Hopefully this time our dance wouldn't be as uneasy as the last.

As Will and Kathy began to sway to the music beside us, I automatically wound my arms around Damian's neck, and he seemed slightly surprised as he placed his hands on my waist once more. He paused before he began to lead.

"Are you sure?" He breathed in my ear, to low for anyone but myself to hear. His question almost left me breathless because of my internal shock, and I nodded before too much time could pass.

Then we began to dance as we had before, only now I wasn't as clumsy, and I wasn't human. And I wasn't as cold, cut off from everything as before, so I could feel everything. Those were the biggest changes since the last time.

This was the same band that played the song Damian and I had first danced to. I recognized the voice.

And, like before, I immediately relaxed as Damian, gracefully as ever, took the lead and, best of all, didn't let me fall. But at the same time I felt so guilty and remorseful. I shouldn't have done that to him, but I didn't believe I had a chance to make everything better. I could tell by every time he looked at me, and I saw his eyes, that I'd hurt him.

Without thinking about it, my head dropped to his chest. What was I doing here? How could I have done that to him? I was an awful creature for even allowing this.

And why did he seem as perfectly at ease as I, deep inside, felt? Part of me was beating itself up about how harsh I was to him, and the other just wanted to relax in his arms. The second part of me was showing on the outside, because I was perfectly comfortable in his arms, no tension showing, but internally I was punishing myself with all the heartache swirling around inside me.

His arms tightened around me, and I looked up to see what was wrong. Had he changed his mind?

It was then that I really took his appearance in. His beautiful green eyes, like my own, had a strange, foreign look in them that I could not recognize. His face was relaxed, and angled downward so he was looking into my eyes. He wore a black suit, surprisingly; I'd never seen him wear one, but it emphasized really how pale he was, and he looked absolutely unreal. I looked back up to his flawless face, trying to decipher the look in his eyes.

Suddenly, he stopped dancing, but I took no notice of it. He was leaning down toward me, eyes holding the same look, but I could also see a tiny bit of resolve and caution. I could feel his breath on my face, and smell the perfume of it. I was frozen on the spot, not able to think, not able to do anything. He continued to lean down till our lips were almost touching, but he paused for an instant and out of no where, the worst thing that could have happened occurred.

Chris appeared beside us, and I could tell from his face that he was fuming, but he kept his eyes carefully impassive. We straightened up immediately, but yet I could tell, reluctantly. That was how I felt anyway…

"Hello, Marie… brother." He nodded toward Damian, and Damian narrowed his eyes slightly. I'm sure mine were, too.

"What do you want?" My voice was livid. Damian kept quiet. Chris looked at me, surprised by how angry I sounded.

"Could I cut in?" He asked politely. My eyes narrowed even further, and I shook my head tightly.

"No thank-you." Even though I was visibly seething, I tried to keep as polite as possible. By the way Chris's attitude and other boys' attitudes turned when I refused them, trying to be civil towards them was becoming and or turning into a chore.

The song had ended when he spoke again.

"Why? Are you having just too much fun with my brother?" I sighed angrily, not knowing how to answer that one. It would be best if no one knew how I was feeling right now.

Chris smirked.

"It doesn't really look like it. Why don't you come and have some fun with me?" My breath came out in short, furious huffs. I tried to calm myself down, and Damian rubbed my arm soothingly. That helped the most.

"I already said 'no thank-you' Chris. Take the hint." Every word I said made my voice turn more acidic. Chris was even more surprised by how much venom was in my tone.

He stepped forward and took one hand that had fallen from Damian's neck. I jerked away, stepping away from both of them in the process. A little voice in the back of my head told me to flee.

I was paying more attention to Damian, and I saw that he was concentrating on me, too. His eyes concealed most of the emotion, but I could see a little bit of gloom there. Every once in a while his eyes would shoot daggers at Chris.

Chris took another step toward me, but Damian stayed behind, his usual poker face on, as mellow as normal. He just kept looking at my face, watching my reactions. It seemed like he was prepared for… some kind of disappointment. And because of that, he appeared as if he was dejected, and I wanted that to change. But I had to deal with Chris first.

I turned my mind back on Chris, glowering as he approached me further.

"Stay away from me. I told you already, no, so stop trying." I gritted my teeth together as I talked through them. I guess this was becoming normal.

I wanted Damian to step in and stop Chris, but I knew that wasn't the best idea. They always seemed to be on the brink of fighting, and it would not be a good idea for them to have a scrap here. Behind Damian, I noticed Kathy and Will staring at me worriedly. Kathy's eyes were the most concerned, and she also looked to be thinking that this was all her fault. I would have to tell her it was not later.

Chris continued to move toward me, until he towered over me, my face directly in front of his chest. This was enough; I didn't care anymore of fighting in public. Either he was going to stop this now, or he was going to get hurt.

My muscles were so tense I was shaking, and I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to compose myself. If I had been angry before, I was beyond furious now.

"Get out of my face." Each word was uttered distinctly, boiling over with malice. I felt and saw Chris flinch slightly. But he didn't stop as he attempted to grab my waist and pull me toward him. That was it. He had finally pushed me as far as I could or would go.

I placed my hands firmly on his chest, and all in one lithe and furious movement, shoved him back so he went flying a few feet –around twenty, give or take– and landed sprawled on the floor.

I stood exactly where I had been before, internally surprised how strong I was despite how long I had been depriving myself of blood, but I retained my infuriated look, my fists clenched with all the tension rocking through my body. I had to get out of here, _now._ People were staring at me, shocked and wide-eyed. Kathy had to have been the most stunned. Her mouth, unlike most other people was hanging open with unintentional surprise. I looked around me more before I started to move. Luckily, people had been able to get out of the way before Chris had slammed into them. He was still on the floor, trying to recover his expression. He looked utterly dazed, but I could not laugh or even smile at his expression. I was too angry right now; I still hadn't calmed down any.

I saved Damian to look at last. Most of the other people now were staring at Chris, looking to see if he was okay, but not Damian. He was staring at me, only a little shocked, but I could see the appreciation in his eyes, but the usual depression retained. The rest of his face remained stoic, as normal.

Everything was deathly quiet, I realized, and I had to run now. Swiftly, I ran through the crowd to the doors without having any trouble pushing past people since they just moved out of my way like they had when I had exploded on the boys who had asked me to dance in Salmo.

I slammed open the doors when I got to them, and ran through the hallway, all the way back up to my dorm, where I also slammed that door and immediately went to my bed to sit down and calm myself.

At that moment, I had never been angrier in my life. How could Chris so openly try to grab me, let alone dance with me? Why hadn't he heeded my acidic warnings? That episode would have never happened if he had. Why was he even bothering in the first place? I was no prize. There were a lot more pretty girls that he would and could have there. I never would want him, anyway. There was no doubt who I wanted now, and I knew it was selfish to even think of it.

There would never be a person I wanted now more than Damian.

Conviction washed through me, strong enough to finally bring unwanted tears to my eyes. It was so wrong in so many ways. He had been there for me for a long time, and I had ignored him. He was the only one who truly understood, and cared for me the whole time.

Who was I kidding anyway? He probably didn't want to be friends, yet alone… more than that. It was impossible now. I should've realized sooner. That way I wouldn't be in this awful mess.

My eyes had dewed over with pearly tears, and I knew this would weaken me even more, because I was crying my blood, but I couldn't stop them as they pooled and streamed down my face. What was I going to do? How could I ever be around him again without admitting the truth? Telling the truth would probably shatter what we had left of a relationship. Besides, telling him would just be egotistical of me. But thinking it and feeling it was also self-centered, too.

Immediately, I went to lie down on the bed, and let my bloody tears bleach the comforter.

An hour or so later, Kathy found me the same way, and sat down beside me, pulling me up so my head was in her lap and she was stroking my hair soothingly. It did no good, though. Nothing would do any good. Nothing would be able to change how I felt.

"Shhh…" Kathy sighed. "It's okay. He's fine, you don't have to worry." That pulled me up a little short, wondering who she was talking about. Although tears silently still streamed over my cheeks, I tried to focus on what she said so I could be distracted. I didn't want my tears to weaken me any more than I already was.

"What do you mean?" My voice was rough, and I only managed to whisper. Kathy smiled, happy that I seemed to be calming down the slightest.

"You didn't hurt Chris. He's fine; you know he is a vampire, and even though you did hurl him pretty far, he's all right. You are really strong, I guess I've never noticed," She chuckled, trying to lighten the mood even though there was a touch of hysteria in her voice.

My hopeful expression fell because I had been hoping to hear how Damian felt, not Chris. I could care less about Chris.

"I wasn't worried about Chris." My voice was a little sharp. Kathy's expression became puzzled for only a moment before she smiled hugely in recognition. I could already tell what she was thinking, and I wondered how she had guessed so easily.

"You were worried about Damian." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. It was also a very painfully true statement.

I ducked my head a little bit as I sat up, and dried my eyes. My body ached all over.

She took my silence as a yes. Her dark eyes sparkled.

"What are you going to do about it?" I was instantly miserable when she asked the question I had been asking myself for the last hour. Or, rather, since I had been turned. But not asked about this particular subject.

"I really don't know, Kathy. I'm lost." My words reflected my agony. Her smile became more cautious and tentative. She laid her hand on my shoulder comfortingly.

"Don't worry about it too much. I just know it will work out." I looked at her desperately.

"How do you know that?" My voice was very demanding, and I felt no remorse about it because I really wanted to know how she knew that. From the situation we were in…. I just didn't see how it was possible.

Kathy kept smiling confidently.

"I can feel it. I always see how you two look at each other, and I can see something there. There is a connection between you, and doesn't seem like it can be broken. I know you don't want to, and don't like to hear this, but the way you've treated him has been pretty awful. And I can see that he's forgiven you for it all." I was astounded. How had Kathy picked up on so much?

"How do you know all this?" My voice was awed. She smiled faintly, her eyes distant. She seemed much older than she was.

"I don't really know. I guess I just have a knack for these kinds of things –like Damian and his healing. I can tell if there's a connection or not. It's very strange, but it's helped a lot of people." I looked at her, eyes wide.

Wait –Damian and his _healing_? Was she saying that he could… heal people? Like a 'power' or something?

"What? Damian can… heal?"

She nodded, looking at me curiously.

"You didn't know that? His power can only usually work on humans, so it's not that useful to us, but still…"

Oh my god. I'd just realized why I had healed so fast when I had broken my rib. He really had been looking out for me that whole time –he could have let me die and not try to revive me then. But he did. And I lived a few weeks longer.

Suddenly a rush of remorse and agony pulsed through me, and I attempted to change the subject.

"…So you have an ability to sense relationships? Who did you help?"

Her face remained unchanged until she spoke –it took her a minute to answer.

"You know Bridgette and Jason right? Well I helped them figure that one out. And I did the same with Patricia and Miguel, Liam and Abigail… and many more of our friends too." I didn't miss how she said 'our' friends. But I was still amazed as I tried to temporarily ignore the awful feeling that had enveloped me.

So _that_ was how she knew. Was she like a love doctor or something?

"Well… anyway… that's really amazing Kathy. Don't say its weird; it's a gift. None of those people would be together if it wasn't for you. You've made a lot of people happy." She seemed extremely embarrassed as I said that, but flattered at the same time.

"Well, don't give me too much credit… they probably would've found one another sooner or later…" She muttered, self-conscious. I laughed a little at her. I'd never seen Kathy this insecure before, and to me, it was hilarious. But she straightened up at the noise, and stared intently at me, wanting to get back to our original topic.

I sighed.

"Well, as much as I'm ascertained of your ability Kathy, I can't take all you've said to be true. I really don't see how this is going to work out." Butterflies were fluttering around inside me, and I really wished that there was some way, some way it would work and that he would forgive me. But there was none, and I felt crestfallen. She patted my shoulder once more.

"Don't worry. I told you, I'm sure it will work out." I shook my head again, and my temper flared because of my frustration but I kept calm.

"No, it won't. You don't understand," My words were distressed and angry at the same time. Kathy sighed.

"Maybe I don't understand some of it, but I understand a lot, and I think we should leave it be for now. We'll figure out something. Now why don't you go hunting to calm yourself down? It's beautiful out tonight… it's almost the full moon." She smiled distantly, as if she was thinking about something else and got up from where she sat beside me. I looked out the grand window as she left the room, staring at the nearly full moon in the black sky.

I decided I would just rest, closing my eyes and pretend to go to sleep. Flopping down on the bed, fully dressed, I curled up under the covers and closed my eyes. And as I let my mind wander, things began to protrude out in my mind.

I loved him and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Not even myself.


	16. Chapter 16: Enlightenment

**_Ohhh, btw, the song you should listen to while Damian and Marie are dancing in the last chapter is Apologize by OneRepublic;) I know it's made people feel like they're in the story more... and i know a few people that have partially fainted XD hint hint... SO yeah ;P Anyway, enough from me, onto the juiciness! :) And thankyou so much to my reviewers -I love you all -glomps and smothers- :)_**

**_-darkvampire_**

Chp 16: Enlightenment

I went through the next few days or so, though I didn't really know how long it actually was at all, since I didn't bother to keep track, through immense torture –physical and emotional. I don't think there was an imbalance of the two. They were equally horrendous.

The physical pain was triggered from lack of blood –I still starved myself of it, and I would keep doing so no matter the cost. I didn't think it would kill me eventually, though I didn't know for sure.

And the internal pain –well, almost everyone knew why that was.

I should get an Emmy for best actress or something of the like; I acted indifferent to everything now. I didn't show an ounce of the pain I was enduring. I would keep it to myself –I didn't want Kathy knowing what I was doing to myself. I think she'd given up on trying to cheer me up. At least I wasn't crying all over like I had before.

Yes, I hadn't told her that I was never going to hunt again. Every time she said she thought it was about time for me to go hunting, I would go out and burn time by running around, and tell her that I would rather go alone, to make it easier on myself and her. She agreed every time, though she offered to go with me a lot.

But as the days passed, I began to wear down. Especially today.

It burned like it never had before; excluding the time I'd been changed.

I couldn't take it anymore. The thirst, all the crazy emotions spiraling out of control inside me… it was all too much for me to handle anymore.

My veins ached for blood, sending spasms of pain, which were much worse than before, rocking through my body. And it happened at one of the most inconvenient of times; while I was walking through the hall, heading towards my next class. Good thing there weren't too many students left in the hall to watch me double over in pain, and walk swiftly to the next hall that was normally abandoned.

As I slumped down on the wall, I kept thinking, why wouldn't the thirst just do away with me? Why wasn't that possible? I was already a horrible enough person; I'd realized was in love with a man I could never be with, and never should have feelings for in the first place because I'd treated him so horribly, and especially since I was a monster –an especially undeserving person. I truly hated myself for thinking such things about him, and I really did want to die more in that moment than any other.

I let ripples of hurt and agony ricochet through me –the emotional and the physical as I let my head fall into my hands. Would I never get anything right in my life? I'd already done the worst thing I could ever do; hurt _him_. I'm sure he felt awful about himself now, after what I'd said to him if he hadn't already felt terrible before. I didn't really mean what I said before… he had never made the choice to kill those people, the council had, and he just followed orders. Besides, being vampire wasn't all that bad… if you forgot your past, that is. Maybe that's the whole reason why I had been so resistant and rebellious, and still was to some things. But that was no excuse for how I had made him feel. There was no excuse for that, and I didn't know if I would or could apologize to him for my behavior. And anyway, I shouldn't have anything to do with him anymore. He had made a decision to stay with the council and the law. I shouldn't interfere with his life anymore. What I should do was disappear to never bother him again.

My veins throbbed once more, and I groaned quietly, my breath coming harder and harder. It felt like a burning hand was squeezing my chest, singeing my insides and sucking the life out of me.

"Marie, what are you doing here, all by yourself? This doesn't really seem like you," I heard someone mumble sarcastically from down the hall. I gasped in shock, thinking it was Damian at first, but then realized the voice was the higher pitched voice of his brother, Chris. Wow, I have the best luck in the world, didn't I? Although, it probably wouldn't have been the best luck, either if that had been Damian at the end of the hall. He would not like to see me torturing myself like this. In fact, I had a feeling he would be downright furious. How would I have explained why I was slumped against the wall, writhing in obvious agony? There were two reasons why, and I didn't want to explain either one to him, or anyone.

"Go away, Chris." I muttered into my hands tonelessly. It was hard to talk past the pressure in my chest. I'm sure he heard it, but didn't listen to me.

"Now why would I do that? I never seem to get enough time with you. Besides, you shouldn't be down here all by your lonesome." His tone was serious, and his words made me want to strangle someone –mainly him. Why would he _never_ give up? And why was I the target of his persistence? I'd already made it clear how I felt, many, many times and yet, he continued in his quest to have me. And that confounded me, because I was nothing desirable in any standards. And that made me realize that Damian would never want me, either. I shuddered, fighting back the unwanted emotions.

He drew near me even more, until he was standing over me. I felt his presence beside me, and I receded back into myself. This time, I was even weaker then I was before at the dance, and I didn't see how I was going to defend myself if he tried anything again. This was unquestionably the wrong place to have come.

He sat down beside me, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I tried to flinch away instantly, but his arm remained locked around me and I could not move it. I kept looking down, my anger flickering faintly inside as I tried to calm all my other emotions. I needed my anger right now; it was my only weapon.

"What's wrong, Marie? You look… tired; weak. Having you been feeding lately?" I kept my face as blank as a slate and didn't reply, hoping vainly he would take the hint; which of course, he didn't. He sighed, and I didn't look up to see the expression on his face.

"You know, you are eventually going to like me, Marie, no matter if you don't want to right now or not." His arm tightened around me, and he attempted to put a finger under my chin so he could adjust my face to look at him. My face remained where it was as I resisted under his hold; he couldn't get it to budge even if used all of his strength. I was using the last of mine to keep it like that.

He heaved a sigh yet again.

"Come on, you know you want me."

My face, if it wasn't already pale enough, went whiter than bone. I looked up to his face, my expression most likely seething. Apparently that's what he had wanted; to get a reaction out of me so I would look at him. He smirked as I began to protest.

"You know that's not true, you pervert! _Why won't you leave me alone_? Stop fussing over me and find some other, easier, _prettier_ girl than me. You will never be able to change my mind. Give up." He started to laugh, and shake his head, closing his eyes as I glared at him furiously. Why wouldn't he take my words seriously?

All of a sudden, he leaned down and almost made contact with his lips, but I managed to get out of his grasp before he could, taking him completely off guard by how quick and unexpected the movement was.

He glared at me for a short second before he joined me, getting on his feet, too. I started to back away, but then realizing it would be best if I just fled right now, I turned to bolt. But he caught my arm, and flung me to the wall, pinning me there with my hands over my head. My head lolled, my body slumped, giving out on me, and he brought his face close to mine once more. With the last of my energy, I turned my head to the side to make it harder to for him to reach my face. I squeezed my eyes shut, and waited for the worst.

But suddenly, nothing was holding me. He had released my arms, and I was falling to the ground. Just before I hit, though, a pair of different arms caught me. I opened my eyes to see what happened.

Everything became clear within less than a second.

Damian, my savior as always, had appeared out of the blue. He'd flung his brother off me, onto the ground, and Chris was now glaring balefully at him. Damian supported me in his arms for a few seconds, but then his eyes narrowed on his brother and he deliberated. I could see the hideously furious look in his eyes, but I could tell he reined it in; he knew it probably was not the best time to explode on his brother.

He then proceeded to swing me up into his arms, and I could do nothing to help him, or even walk for that matter because absolutely all my energy had disappeared.

And then we were flying, him running, and me lying limply in his arms, feeling immense gratitude toward him for saving me yet again. Only this time he was saving me from something much worse, and I shuddered slightly at the thought of what Chris might have done if Damian hadn't been there.

But there was also a part of me that wished I hadn't been saved, because how exactly was I going to explain why I was so weak? I couldn't tell anyone, especially him, because he would think I was more of a freak than I already was.

We were suddenly in a dorm, not mine, and I was laid on a bed and left alone for only quarter of a second before he was back, but this time with something in his hand. I fought to keep my eyes open, so I could see what he was doing.

He held a blood transfusion in one hand, and he was reaching for my face with the other. He moved forward on the bed, because I was in the middle of it, so he could reach me more easily.

Opening my mouth, he started to empty the blood into my mouth, but I started to make sounds of protest, and jerk away slightly, so he moved even closer and wrapped an arm around me to keep me still. He continued to pour the blood into my mouth.

"Shhh… It's animal blood, not human. I'm sorry, but this is what I drink, and you need blood now." I stopped my protesting and squirming, letting him empty the rest down my throat. What I hadn't realized before, when I was panicking that it was human blood, was that it tasted different. A little bland, not as satisfying, but I could feel it returning my strength, so I didn't complain anymore. Hadn't I eaten animals when I was human? There really wasn't a difference here…

I finished off the rest of it, feeling completely restored. He set the empty transfusion on the bed, and just stared at me, everything about him completely emotionless. He still had his arm wrapped around me, supporting me as I was half sitting up and half lying down. I stared at him too, and began to feel the slightest bit awkward by the way he was holding me.

But, out of no where, his facial expressions twisted till it was almost livid, and I frowned in confusion.

"Were you trying to kill yourself? Because, you know, you can't kill yourself by starving yourself of blood. You only go into a coma, which in fact _is_ very hard to escape, and you were at the point of slipping into one. If I hadn't of gotten you blood as quickly as I did, you would have gone to sleep, and most likely never have woken up again. Why would you do that to yourself? What's wrong?" He demanded; the anger in his voice very distinct. I didn't flinch back from it –I stared at him getting even more confused.

"No, I wasn't." My voice sounded slightly hoarse and unused, and I attempted to clear my throat. His eyes narrowed on my face, skeptical.

"Why else would you deny yourself blood like that?" My frown deepened, and I became defensive. I didn't want him thinking I was suicidal, but I didn't want him to know why I wouldn't drink blood. But, yet again, he admitted he drank animal blood, and I could safely say that was pretty weird… And if he could live off it, I could too, so why not tell him…? I sighed, coming to a decision.

"I don't like to drink human blood. It bothers me a lot, and I couldn't figure out an alternative, or at least one that wasn't conspicuous. That's why –so do not accuse me of trying to off myself." I admitted this all reluctantly, and I had closed my eyes while I was telling him this, not really wanting to see his reaction. But now, as I waited in silence, with my eyes still closed, waiting to hear what he had to say to that. I wished I hadn't been put in this situation in the first place.

When I heard nothing over the course of a few minutes, I opened my eyes worriedly to see what his face looked like. His face expressed how shocked he was, while his brilliant green eyes held admiration and hope. I grimaced slightly again. He was really confusing me at this moment. I waited for him to speak again.

"Really… Is that why?" His tone reflected the hope in his eyes. I nodded, still perplexed. His expression changed dramatically; his face went from a grimace to a content smile in all of two seconds.

"Well… I don't know what to say. I _can_ say that I'm shocked that you have the same problem as me… or make it two problems. I thought it was only me who hated human blood." He smiled cheerfully at me, staring deep into my eyes.

Then I realized I was in the same position as I was before in his arms, and I wormed my way out awkwardly, sitting on the bed beside him. He didn't seem too affected by that; he was still in awe that I was now on the same diet as him.

But then he focused all his attention on me, and he became his usual mellow self. There was an uncomfortable moment as I tried to think of what to say. And my face fell as I thought. I didn't deserve to be here. I deserved to be in that coma he said I almost fallen into. At least I wouldn't be able to hurt him further if I was there. I wouldn't be able to bother him, worry him, or be a part of his life if I was there…

I felt his finger touching my face a second later, and I looked away from where my eyes had wandered, up to his face where I noticed his concerned and aching appearance. My face held a little bit of confusion when I saw that second emotion.

"What is it? Why are you so miserable?" He mumbled softly. It took me a moment to answer him; I was still debating over whether or not I should just come out with it and tell him I was sorry. At least I would be able to feel a little better, even if he didn't accept it and avoided me for the rest of my immortal life. I just wanted him to know that I did feel remorse for what I had done to him… and especially what I had said to him that seemed like I had said it yesterday… I sighed before I went on.

"I am so, very and completely sorry Damian." I began. As soon as I said it, he looked lost, so I clarified.

"I'm sorry for shutting you out, and accusing you of all those awful things. Over all, I'm sorry for being so terrible to you. I should never have done that, I should never have said nor done anything and I feel awful for it. I feel even worse now when I know that you were there for me the whole time, even though I treated you so horribly. And I only realize it now, when you're not… What irony." I muttered that last part to myself, and thought it was probably a good thing he did not hear it. I don't know what his reaction would be to that. I felt like I didn't know anything right now.

"I know apologies won't make it better, but at least you know that I feel sorry, and that I didn't mean all those bad things I said to you." My voice was singed and burning with sorrow. It really reflected how miserable I felt inside.

Realizing that I had looked down, I looked back up to his face to gauge his reaction. His face must have been as remorseful as mine, and he looked down, too.

"No, Marie. You were right in your accusations, and I really do realize what a monster I am now. It's a good thing you had, too, because I would still think everything is fine with what I do in my job, when really it isn't because of all the horrid things I do to these people. I'd just never thought anything of it…" I was instantly horrified. Why was he acting like this? It didn't seem like he had cared before… he had given the impression at the dance that he would follow whatever orders he was given, and remain cold and cut off from everything. But that made me think of how badly I'd damaged him. What had I done? He could not think like this. I would not let him think of himself like that. I was in danger of a total melt down; my emotions would not be contained.

I grabbed and held his face, my face turning even more dejected than before. What had I done to him? He had to realize that this wasn't really his fault. I didn't know why I was trying to convince him otherwise. I just felt a desperate need to make him happy. To take away the sadness, all the remorse and sorrow, I realized, is what I wanted to take away… Whatever it took I would make him smile.

"Damian, you _are not_ a monster. Do you hear me? It's just your job, you don't choose to change these people; the council does. If anyone's the monster, they are. Don't blame yourself." I was looking desperately into his eyes, and he stared back, undecided and wary.

"I don't really know about that, Marie… If I wasn't a monster, I would've chosen not to harm people further." A single tear slid down my cheek at his words, and he looked momentarily bewildered. Was I failing? Would I never be able to convince him otherwise?

"What have I done to you? How could I have messed you up like this? They were only venomous words, words I did not even mean. You have to realize that none of this is your fault. Please realize that." He was speechless. I was trying to prove a point –and I was failing miserably.

I dropped my hands, feeling like they were seared because of how badly I wanted to keep them there –forever. But I knew I never could. He'd made it clear on what path he was taking. And I had no right to question that. I didn't know what I was doing right now. It was wrong in so many ways. There were many more, other reasons also… He probably still hated me, even though he wasn't showing it. He was too gentleman for that… I looked away.

"What is it now?" His voice wasn't annoyed, it was gentle and curious. I shook my head.

"You don't want to know," I said sadly. One more tear rolled down my cheek. He wiped it away, brushing my hair out of my face at the same time so he could see me and then spoke.

"You have no idea how much I want to know right now, Marie. Just tell me. Please." I shook my head once more, sure that he really did not want to know. I didn't understand why he was trying to comfort me… he was only being polite, I realized with a gruff sigh.

His fingers gently tilted my head up so he could see my expression. He looked at my pained expression with one of his own… until I saw decision, raw emotion, and conviction in his eyes.

And then he leaned down swiftly, jamming his lips onto mine. I froze in surprise at first, but then relaxed as he wrapped his arms around me, knotting one of his hands into my hair. But then he pulled back, but kept his arms around me. I frowned, a little hurt and confused.

He spoke almost breathlessly, "I'm sorry… But I can't help it… you're most likely still angry with me for–" I cut him off with a kiss, pressing myself closer to him, almost knocking him over. I broke away only for a second to blurt out because I was at a loss of breath, "If you don't stop apologizing, I'm going to kick your vampire butt. I have heard enough apologies from you over the course of only a few months to last a lifetime." He chuckled lightly at that, and kissed me softly once more. I moved my arms from around his neck to his middle so I could hug him tightly, burying my face in his chest. The feeling coursing through me at the moment was astounding. I'd never experienced anything like this before, and it was unbelievable how much I felt like I was floating. After a few moments I moved back to eye him carefully. I still had no idea how I had gone from thinking that he hated me, to this. It seemed impossible, even now when I felt his arms around me, like it was all one big, hopeful dream.

"What about your duties?" He looked at me with disbelieving eyes.

"...I've tried to distance myself from you the whole time… but it tortured me to do it. I can't let you get hurt… But it was just too unbearable, knowing what I had done to you, and not doing a thing about it. I've never known a person as enticing as you. You have no idea how much I want you."

After he'd said that, it took an effort to force words to come steadily out of my mouth. What he'd said took my breath away, but I had to keep my composure for now.

"But why me? Why am I different than anyone else?" He leaned in towards me a bit more.

"I can't give you one exact, definite answer. There are many qualities about you, and I love all of it. Everything about you."

I stared at him with open shock for a moment. I couldn't put it through my head… what was it about me exactly? We were the same in a few ways… one, our blood is messed up so we retain our memories of our past, and human eye colour. Two, we never belonged anywhere before, ever. And three, now we'd found somewhere we did belong.

A few minutes passed, and he'd begun to look worried. He stroked my face.

"What is it…?" He murmured. I shook my head, and forced a smile, though it really wasn't all that hard.

"Nothing… So, can we put all this mess behind us; I mean, on both sides, apparently there was nothing to forgive." I smirked at him, and he laughed, nodding. His eyes sparkled with a happiness that had never been there before. He'd never ever been this buoyant –and the same went for me. I could only smile in response.

But then, as if on cue, Kathy burst through the door, eyes panicked and searching. She was talking before she had even entered the room I realized, because she was half-way through her sentence when she noticed Damian and me.

"Damian, have you seen Marie, I haven't seen her, and apparently she missed her last class…" She stopped dead when she saw us on the bed, still in each other's arms, laughing. Her mouth hung open in surprise.

"Oh. My. Gosh. I am so sorry!" Her voice retained that astonishment, and in the next moment, she had slammed the door shut, and I could hear her hurried footsteps running away from us. I burst out laughing, and Damian stared at me curiously.

"What?" I asked, still laughing, as I finally regained composure. He shrugged.

"What was so funny?" I shook my head, looking down and snickered.

"I will _never_ forget that look on her face." I giggled. He laughed too, nodding in agreement.

"No, we probably won't." He snickered.

But I was sobered up then, thinking about the future and what it would hold for us. I looked at him, concerned.

"What are we going to do?" He knew immediately what I meant, and his face became serious.

"We have to keep it a secret… for now. I think you understand why." I nodded, sighing. it with only good reason. I made a mental note to ask him why later.

"How long, though?" He grimaced slightly.

"I'm not too sure yet. We'll have to see what happens. I wish we didn't have to though. If only there was something I could do…" He stroked my face lightly as he spoke, and it felt like an electric current passed through me. His skin left a trail of unbelievable warmth over mine…

I closed my eyes and sighed, coming back to reality.

"Well, I guess I better go tell Kathy an excuse before she jumps to a conclusion." He frowned.

"I don't think you really need to lie to her… you can trust her with our secret. She's reliable." I nodded. If you told Kathy a secret and told her to keep quiet about it, she wouldn't utter a word if her life depended on it. I smiled as I thought of that. She really was a loyal friend.

But my smile disappeared as I noticed his grim face. He picked up one of my hands lightly and held it in one of his own on the bed. As if he was reassuring me.

"And now I have to talk to my brother." I nodded tightly, squeezing my eyes shut. Why was Chris like that, anyway? Even if Damian did 'love' me I didn't understand why or how. I still didn't believe I was worthy of him. He was such a good person, and I was such a bad one. That was only one reason why I couldn't understand Chris's attraction to me.

I looked back up at him, where he grimaced at my expression. He leaned down quickly and pressed his lips hard on mine, this time keeping my face close to his when we pulled apart. Our foreheads were touching, and I could feel his sweet breath sweep across my face. I breathed in heavily, although it was a little ragged. It couldn't embarrass me now; my head was too full of him to concentrate on anything else.

"Don't be sad. You're too beautiful to look sad all the time." I felt like rolling my eyes but didn't. I knew that would bring on an argument that neither of us would win because I would not be convinced, and I knew he sincerely believed that… which was absurd. How could he? I was so plain nobody should take interest.

His hand gripped in my hair. I looked into his determined green eyes.

"Please stop… for my sake." I sighed and smiled half heartedly. He knew which buttons to press… he knew that I didn't want to cause him grief.

"You don't play fair."

He smiled mischievously.

"Never said I did play fair."

I genuinely smiled at that, and kissed him once more. When he pulled away this time, he sighed.

"I have to go now… before Chris does something." A shiver ran down my spine as he said it. He moved back, letting go of me.

We both got up off the bed and walked over to the door. I embraced him once more, touching my lips to his in the process, and breathed his heady scent, not wanting to leave him ever again. He brought so much more out in me that no one else had ever been able to accomplish.

He held me close for a few seconds, his arms almost able to go around me twice. Then he sighed. He sounded sad.

"I'll see you soon. Right after I'm done with my brother, I will come up to your dorm and meet you there. All right?" I nodded, sighing as well.

"Even though it is Chris, don't do anything too rash." He laughed at that as he let go of me. The last things I felt and saw of him were his lips as they caressed mine once more, and then his smile as he dashed off.

The door was left open, ready for my departure. I felt an immediate loss as he went, but I knew he had good reason to do what he was about to do alone. Plus, it probably wasn't a good idea for me to go with him, or he would have asked me if I wanted to come.

My mind started to come back down to earth as I began walking, like I had been stuck in some fantastic dream. I still couldn't believe it wasn't a dream. It seemed too good to be true.

The first thing I noticed when my head wasn't totally incapacitated by Damian was that there was a little buzzing sensation at the back of my skull. There was a voice there, and it was only a faint murmur. Completely incomprehensible.

But I only got to think about it for a few more seconds, because Kathy stood right in the middle of the hall, an enormous grin that looked like it was stretched to the point where it would fall off her face. It appeared like she was almost shaking with her excitement. I was wary by the time I reached her, but didn't let it show on my face. No matter how I felt about her reactions, I would not spoil her fun, despite the fact that sometimes it was just a bit over board.

"I told you so, I told you so, _I told you so_!" She seemed like a child that had won an argument or just proved something they believed to be right. If you actually thought about it, it was quite amusing.

I sighed.

"I know, you were right Kathy," She started to squeal, now really jumping up and down.

"Oh my gosh. This is _so _exciting! I can't believe it," I rolled my eyes.

"Me neither…" I muttered. Her mood remained unchanged, as I predicted it would, even though I wasn't acting as enthusiastic about it as she was. She continued to smile exuberantly.

"Let's go back to our dorm. I want to hear _all_ about it." Internally, I groaned as she snatched my hand up in hers and dragged me along behind her up to our dorm.

I let her guide me, even though I had an itch to rip my hand out of hers. Even if I was in an exceptional mood, besides worrying about Damian's and Chris's chat, I didn't like to be led places. It was nothing against Kathy; it was just my natural reaction…

She talked to herself under her breath all the way to our room, I think. I only assumed that because I caught only little bits and pieces of what she was saying.

"…I'm so happy for them… I knew it would turn out this way… they must be so happy… and relieved…"

I guess what she was feeling now just couldn't be contained. That brought a smile to my face.

When we arrived, she sat me down on the couch, and took a hold of both my hands in her lap. I forced a smile onto my face as she looked at me anxiously with a smile on her lips.

"Tell me everything. Don't leave anything out… How are you feeling?"

I think I felt like I was floating on cloud nine besides how Kathy was annoying me the slightest bit…

"I feel extraordinary." She nodded, almost business like…

"Tell me what happened."

I grimaced, and bit my lip. If I had have been human at the moment, my cheeks probably would've been flaming red. This was not the most comfortable topic for me to speak about. I mean, how would she react to what Chris had almost done to me…?

Kathy's mouth fell open at my hesitation. I frowned, and cocked my head, still uncomfortable but now wondering why…

"You didn't, did you?" She squeaked after a moment. That's when everything pieced itself together, and my eyes widened with surprise.

"Oh no –Kathy! Is that the absolute first thought that comes to your head?" I began laughing, in too much ecstasy to be angry or anything for her to jump to such conclusions. Did she actually believe for a moment that Damian and I had…?

She looked sheepish, and shook her head, laughing along with me.

"I'm sorry… it's just that I don't understand why it would be awkward for you to be talking about anything else _but_ that." She emphasized 'that' to make sure I understood what she was saying.

My eyebrows furrowed as I nodded.

"I know… I want to tell you, but… I don't know what you'll think, or even if I should tell you."

Her lips pursed, and she looked away from me to the ceiling as she thought.

"Hmm… well that's all right. You can tell me what happened when you're ready –I don't mind." Her eyes shot back to me, and she had a delicate smile on her face. I smiled back… she really was a true friend.

"Thank you Kathy. I appreciate it… but the part I can't tell you is in the beginning. I can tell you the rest."

She nodded, her eyes willing me to continue.

"Well, it won't make very much sense if you don't know the whole story, but try to follow along as best as you can. It's a fairly long story to begin with,"

She rolled her eyes impatiently.

"Just tell me what happens –I don't like to be kept in suspense,"

I nodded, and took a deep, calming breath.

"We were in his dorm, on his bed. I finally apologized to him for everything, since the guilt had been eating me away for a while… But he sincerely believed that what I had said he was was true. And I felt awful,"

She followed my story with wide eyes, and mouth slightly ajar. That was at least a sign that my story was not boring.

"I tried to make him believe that he was not what I had wrongly said he was –a monster. I needed to make him feel better. I would not have him believe what I had said. But his mind would not be changed, it seemed, and it seemed hopeless for a minute –I started to cry. One tear slid down my cheek, and he looked shocked. At that moment, I started to think of how I'd messed him up, how he probably hated me, and how much I wanted to be with him, but he'd already stated that we could never be together. After a few moments had passed, I had looked away from him, and he wanted to know what was wrong. I didn't want to tell him –burden him even more with what I was feeling, so I told him he didn't want to know. But he did want to know. He reached for my face, and pulled my chin up so he could see my expression. And that's when he said something I think I'll never ever forget, and was shocked deep down inside at what he said. He said he wanted me, and he loved me." I rambled, almost talking to myself.

I wouldn't tell her we kissed. I felt kissing and telling was just gossip and unethical. It was almost vulgar to talk about.

Kathy was speechless for a moment –she stared at me in wonder. But when she came back down to earth, she let out a tiny squeal and threw her arms around me.

"Marie, that has to be one of the best, and sweetest stories I have ever heard. I'm _so_ happy for you guys."

I let myself smile, and returned her hug. But when she pulled away, she eyed me seriously.

"So do you want people to know about this, or not, because I would love to tell Patricia and Angelina…"

My expression silenced her. I was wide eyed and horrified.

"Sorry, Kathy, but I want you to keep this to yourself. You are the only person who knows, and I want to keep it that way."

She frowned, puzzled.

"Why do you want to keep it a secret?"

I bit my lip, at a loss.

"I don't really know… all I know is that Damian said that we should keep it quiet for now. I'm going to ask him why later."

She nodded.

"Tell me why if you can." I pursed my lips and nodded.

"So what's happening now? Where is he?"

"He had to go do something… he's coming back up here soo–"

I was cut off in mid sentence as someone came through the door. At first I thought it was Will, because his hair was wild, and he had blazing eyes. But I realized it was Damian since he sat himself down right next to me on the couch, filling the tiny space between me and the arm rest. Kathy, with wide eyes, nodded at him as a greeting. I guess she was just as taken off guard by his hostile appearance. And speaking of Will, I was surprised he wasn't here, sitting next to Kathy.

I turned my attention on Damian, who looked furious. That's at least what his stony face and flaming eyes gave away. His eyes were coal black. I had a feeling that he hadn't gotten rid of any anger by taking it out on Chris… he probably only talked to him, maybe screamed at him, and nothing else. I was a little disappointed that the next time I saw Chris he wouldn't have a fissure in his skin where an arm had been ripped off and was healing.

I leaned into him, and brought a hand up to his cheek. His facial expression almost melted at my touch, and his eyes remained almost the same except I now saw love mixed in with the hatred.

"I'm guessing it didn't go well. What happened?"

His head drooped a little, so it was resting on mine. He put one arm around my shoulders, and the other around my stomach. He looked into my face as he spoke.

"No, it didn't go well… Apparently, he really wants you. I told him to stop bothering you, since you obviously did not take any interest in him whatsoever. But he wouldn't be convinced… and I'm sad to say I slipped. I told him the truth by accident… I didn't mean to, but I really want him to stop… and what he was about to do to you back there,"

The arm around me tightened to probably the point where it should crush me. But I welcomed it. If that's what he needed to do to calm himself, he could do it all he wanted.

"That was _way_ over the line. I will not have him do that to you again." I reached up with my free arm, and stroked his face. He breathed in and out slowly, and his arm loosened slightly. In the back of my mind, I knew Kathy was probably watching us in wonder. But the only thing I was really concerned about was him right now.

"What happened then?" I murmured in a smooth, calm voice. He raised his other hand and ran his fingers through my hair and let out a relaxed sigh.

"He exploded, of course. He vowed he was going to tell Nathaniel. And now I don't know what to do. I can't hurt my own brother… my baby brother. But I can't let him inform Nathaniel of this."

He sounded desperate and extremely distraught. I cupped his cheek and stared into his eyes.

"We should both go talk to him then. I'm sure between the two of us; we'll see to it that he changes his mind about this whole situation."

"Uhh… I'm really very sorry to interrupt guys… But can I please know what's going on here? What does Chris want? What did he _do_ to you, Marie?"

She asked in a forceful, concerned way. We both looked at her, and then back to each other.

"Should we tell her?"

He frowned slightly, as if he were deciding. Then his head inclined, giving his consent.

"Chris wants Marie." He said briskly. Kathy's eyes popped wide.

"What? _Christopher Forrester _also wants Marie?" She asked, dumbfounded.

I nodded with my jaw locked. Her mouth fell open.

"Oh my… I'm so sorry, Damian. How could he do this to you? You're his only brother!"

Damian looked away, eyes downcast.

I moved my arms so I could embrace him tightly.

"I promise you won't lose me. And I'm sure you won't lose your brother either… we just have to think ahead and make the right decisions."

He sighed, and buried his head into my hair by my neck. I heard him inhale deeply. His posture relaxed slightly.

"I wish I could believe that…"

"Then believe it." He looked up, and stared at me. Until the door burst open, revealing a slightly flustered looking Will.

Kathy's eyes widened in alarm, and she was immediately up and running into the arms of her lover. It was abnormal for Will to show emotion for the most part, so it was a very big deal when something showed through.

We both stared at them, turning around to get a better view.

"Will… what happened, love?" She murmured.

He squeezed her tighter, and gazed at me. It seemed he was looking me over to see if anything was wrong. I frowned, puzzled.

Kathy turned around when she realized he was perusing me. Damian stared at Will also, although he had a different look in his eyes than Kathy and I had. It was thankfulness and appreciation.

I looked back up to Will for an answer. He cleared his throat nervously, not liking the attention though it was only us…

"I saw what Christopher tried to do to you, Marie. I knew I wouldn't be able to get him away from you, at least without me getting ripped to shreds in a fight against him… So I ran as quickly as I could to find Damian, and sent him down to stop Chris."

My jaw dropped, and I looked from him to Damian a couple times. I stood up slowly, taking Damian with me. I also walked slowly over to Will. Kathy knew what I was going to do, and she stepped away from him to give me some room, and huge grin on her face. There was no stopping what I was going to do, no matter how uncomfortable it made him…

Not letting go of Damian's hand, I hugged Will tightly. He froze for a second, probably petrified. But then he relaxed slightly, and patted me on the back lightly. That's all I expected… Getting at least a reaction from him was a lot more than was anticipated.

I stepped away swiftly, only for Damian's arms to wind tightly around me. I buried my face into his chest, and murmured, "Thank you guys… I owe you so much, you don't even know." I knew they could hear me even though my voice was muffled.

I could see in my peripheral vision that Kathy had stepped back into Will's arms. Damian's arms squeezed me tighter.

"I love you."

I whispered.

There was a pause as he tilted my chin up so he could see my face.

"And I love you… as I always have." He swept down to press his lips on mine, igniting a fire in me.

I seriously felt like we were floating on a cloud, and I knew that as long as I was with him I could survive everything and anything.


	17. Chapter 17: Reality Rules

Chp 17: Reality Rules

We stayed in our dorm for awhile, just talking lightly among each other. Kathy was ecstatic about mine and Damian's relationship together. I was still a little surprised that everything had turned out, but Kathy didn't seem the least bit surprised.

Suddenly Damian turned to me, his facial expression little worn.

"I have to go for now… I have a meeting with Nathaniel."

I let out a sigh.

"All right… when will I see you?"

He reached up to stroke my face soothingly. He sighed and closed his eyes.

"Well, I think by the time it's over, you'll be sleeping. Tonight's the full moon, after all."

I frowned.

"I'll stay up to wait for you then." He shook his head, and pulled me in for a hug.

"No…You need your rest, love. I'll be there when you wake up, I promise."

He leaned down to kiss me softly once, and then more fervently a few more times.

"I love you." He murmured.

"I love you too… Have a good meeting."

I said the last part sarcastically, and he chuckled lightly. He embraced me one last time and suddenly disappeared into thin air.

I slumped back into the soft couch cushion and closed my eyes.

"Marie…"

My eyes opened to look at Kathy, who was sitting across Will's lap on the armchair, her legs hanging off the side of the arm, who eyed me with slightly concerned, but excited eyes.

"Damian's a big boy… he can take care of himself. You don't need to worry about him."

I smiled slightly at her.

"I'm not too worried…"

She beamed at me, and held onto Will tighter.

"I don't think you know how happy I am to see you two together. I can see such a positive change in you both."

I cocked my head to the side, puzzled. I knew there was a definite change in me, but I didn't notice a big change in him…

She answered the question in my stare.

"Oh, there is a big change in him. I've only known him for a few years, but it's really noticeable how you've altered him. I've never seen him happier."

My jaw almost dropped. I thought he'd always been like this... but apparently not.

"What was he like before?"

She grinned wider as she noticed the astonishment in my voice.

"He was almost like Reap here."

Will glared at her, and began tickling her. She laughed, and giggled, before she grabbed his hands, and leaned up to kiss him. He kissed passionately back, and it looked like he'd already let that bother go.

She was still giggling as she broke away, and burrowed herself closer to him.

"He was never one to display emotion… even if something bothered him. But now it's evident that he's inexorably happy. I've noticed the change in both of you."

I grinned, and nodded.

"You really have no idea about how he's changed me. The first time you met me, I was already changed. Now I'm happy for the first time in a long time. I was even worse than Reap before."

Will's eyes widened on me, and then narrowed. I smiled wider, and raised an eyebrow –challenging him. He couldn't do anything since Kathy would not get up, or be separated from him.

Kathy laughed, and nodded, caressing Will's arm to relax him.

"Well I'm glad for the dramatic rehabilitation of you both."

The smile surprisingly remained on my face for the rest of the night. We talked, laughed –even Will had a smile at some point.

When it was around eleven, we decided it was time we should be getting to bed.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay? I'm sure Marie won't mind unless we start something freaky."

I burst into laughter, shaking my head.

"No, I don't mind guys… but if you _do_ decide to _do_ something, make sure I'm asleep."

Will also chuckled, an amazing smile on his face, and nodded.

Kathy squealed, excited, grabbed Will's hand, and ran into the bathroom where I presumed they were getting ready for bed.

It was such an event when the full moon came around… that's why Kathy was so thrilled when she could have Will sleep over. And it was always interesting to see everyone so full of life the next day. It was actually pretty amazing.

I waited till they were out of the bathroom, and then went in to change. When I came out, I saw Kathy and Will snuggled together under the covers, Will's arm wound around her slight shoulders. The sight of that made me miss Damian more than ever.

I tried my best to hide my expression as I ran over to turn off the lights. I ran since I liked the supersonic speed of everything, though I probably should've been used to it by now…

Kathy smiled and winked at me as I darted back to my bed, and got comfortable under the covers. It felt like forever since I'd done this. At first it certainly had been strange to not feel tired ever, and now it felt strange to be tired. You only ever experienced this on the full moon, and I didn't know if it felt like a relief or not.

I heard Kathy and Will whispering quietly among each other for a few minutes, and then absolute silence. It was eerie, almost as if time had stopped, and it was hard to nod off until the pit-pattering of rain started.

As the rain tapped against the glass of the window, I was finally able to close my eyes and fall asleep.

_I was in the alley again. The man had his arm wrapped around my shoulders, guiding me. We stopped when we were under the light of the flickering alleyway lamp. In the back of my mind, I had a feeling of déjà vu… _

_The glowing red eyes appeared out of the gloom, and they sparked an instinct from deep within that sent me into a wild frenzy of ripping snarling and viciously baring my teeth. _

_I ripped out of the man's arms, but only managed to get a few feet before he wound his arms around my waist again, restraining me. He buried his face in my hair, beside my ear. _

"_Don't do it…" He whispered seductively. It was so hard to resist his voice… it was so alluring and _familiar_. _

_But I wouldn't listen. I couldn't fight off the instinct. _

_I finally managed to struggle out of his arms, and meet the demon who had just emerged out of the darkness. _

_We slammed into each other in mid air, and I went down to the ground, putting up a fight all the way down. The monster pinned me down to the hard cement, and no matter how furiously I struggled, I couldn't get its enormous paws off of me. It was probably at least ten to fifteen times bigger than me, and there was nothing I could do, even if I was stronger than I normally was. My head flew up and down, and side to side as I tried to dig my teeth into flesh. _

"_Marie! _No!_" _

_The man screamed as the werewolf lowered its head down to mine, baring its razor teeth that were dripping with saliva. I saw my eyes reflected in its eyes… They were wide, bloodthirsty, ravenous, and the same colour as the demon's. _

_It opened its mouth wider, and its head shot down to take the first bite out of me._

_But all of a sudden, it was off me, thrown down the alley it seemed because I heard the enraged howls from a farther distance now. _

_Then the uproar began. There were many vicious hisses and growls erupting from the darkness as I lay on the ground. _

_I slowly got up, eyes darting everywhere, but resting on only one place. The man stood right in front of me, hovering over me protectively. _

"_Stay back." He warned, with an edge of sadness to his voice. I tried to get a better look at his face, and then finally a flash of light revealed the identity of the man. It was Damian. _

_And then, all of a sudden, the beasts began flying out at us, encircling us. He reached for my hand and held it for a minute, before he squeezed and let go. _

"_Get out of here." _

_He pushed me with enough force just to get me out of the circle. How I managed to be pushed and then manoeuvre through all the fur covered legs I'll never know. But I didn't want to leave him. I couldn't. I loved him to death, and I could not bear leaving him there to get killed. Part of me would die with him. _

_I attempted to get back to him, to defend him as he did me, but it was too late. I heard ripping and shredding from the circle and, though I could not see what was happening because they had closed in on him, I knew what was going on. I stood there in shock, not able to do anything. It felt like I was suffering the same death as him._

_A dark tear streamed down my face, and I didn't hear a scream as black blood pooled and streamed in a large river towards me._

I awoke with a scream, glistening tears streaming down my face.

Then, all of a sudden, I felt a body lying beside me, and arms tense around my shoulders. I began thrashing and sobbing against the person. Someone was trying to restrain me, and it didn't help my situation any.

"No! Let go of me, let go, let go…" I wailed, and kicked as hard as I could since the person had my arms basically pinned to my sides.

"Shh! Marie, it's me… shh, everything's okay…"

As soon as I'd recognized Damian's voice, I turned around, throwing my arms around him, and buried my face in his chest.

I continued to cry as he rubbed my back soothingly, and murmured things to calm me down. I heard nothing but my muffled crying and his soft voice. It was a wonder that neither Kathy nor Will had woken up.

Eventually, my tears stopped though I still held onto him firmly. He continued to trail his hand up and down my back comfortingly.

After a moment or two, he spoke.

"What happened…?"

I looked up at him. I assumed he meant my dream, and thinking about it almost made me burst into tears again, staring at his glorious, caring face.

He reached with his other hand to wipe the tears away from my cheeks.

"I had a nightmare…"

His eyes widened slightly as I said it.

"I had a feeling that was it… but I can't believe it… We're not supposed to dream… another rule you've broken."

I rested my head against his chest again, and closed my eyes.

"Do you mind if I ask what it was about?" He whispered.

I clenched my teeth, and took a deep breath through my nose before I would speak.

"It was the same dream as before… the one when I was human."

I think I felt his breathing stop.

"Except before, I didn't know the person in my dream was you."

It took a lot to keep myself together at this point.

"We were walking down an alley… and these monstrous creatures attack us. You try to keep me from attacking them, but I don't listen to you and then I flung myself at them. You end up getting killed, defending me."

His hands tightened on me, and he slid me up the bed so he was on eye level with me, our foreheads touching. I felt his sweet breath on my face as he held my face with one hand.

"I won't let that happen, Marie. Ever." He said it forcefully, looking into my eyes almost desperately.

I kissed him softly, pulling away only to speak.

"I know you won't… and you know I won't either."

He nodded, and I felt his tense body relax. I let myself unwind too; shifting so I could move my head to rest in the crook of his neck. As I realized this, I remembered it would be a taboo to let anyone get this close to your throat.

I kissed his neck, and he shuddered slightly.

"Do you want to go to sleep now or…?"

His voice faltered slightly as I trailed my lips lightly up and down his neck.

"Oh, it depends… I think I'll stay up a little longer. But will you go to sleep with me?" I wouldn't go to sleep unless he did too.

A smile pulled up his lips, and he nodded.

"So… is there a point in staying up?"

I smiled.

"Yes, actually… I was wondering how you're meeting went."

I felt his muscles stiffen, and heard a sharp exhale. My lips puckered, and my expression became a little nervous.

"I'm guessing not well then."

I heard a growl deep in his chest, and he shook his head.

"No, it didn't…"

"Do you want to talk about it? Because I would really like to know what happened –what bothers you so much?"

He sighed heavily.

"I don't really want to talk about it, but you need to know anyhow. I wish I didn't get you –get us– in so much trouble." He spoke through clenched teeth.

I frowned, confused.

"Why are we in a lot of trouble?"

It took him a moment to answer. It seemed he was really upset.

"Do you know what we are, Marie?"

I looked at him quizzically.

"We are pureblood vampires. Both of our fathers were vampires."

My eyes widened, my mouth slackened, and my breathing stopped.

"What?" I gasped.

He nodded grimly.

"That is the only way you can be a pureblood –if you have a vampire father and a human mother. After you're born, you are half and half… only until and _if_ a vampire changes you. Then the vampire gene takes over."

It took me a minute to absorb that. How could my father have been a vampire? He had never shown any signs of being one… he ate for one, which was not a thing vampires could or would do. But I chose to ignore this fact for a moment –right now this new information about purebloods spurred questions in me.

"How can you tell we're purebloods? And what does that have to do with our situation?"

"Well, we retain our human eye colour for one. We remember our past. And usually, we have a … power; I guess you could call it that."

My brows furrowed. I didn't have a power. He read my expression.

"Yes, I know you don't have a power… yet."

I grimaced, and hid my face in his neck. He rubbed my back reassuringly.

"You don't need to worry so much. It will come when you're ready, and I'll be there to help you through it."

I nodded, and it was silent for a moment, besides our breathing, before he continued to answering my other question.

"Purebloods aren't supposed to be with each other… we're not supposed to be mates."

My mouth dropped.

"What?" I breathed.

He looked into my eyes with sad, shaded eyes of his own.

"That's why we're in so much trouble."

I shook my head, opening my mouth to speak almost every five seconds but no words came out. I was appalled. After a moment though, I managed to choke out a question.

"Why?"

"It's because I am supposed to go make more purebloods. You can't, because you're female and all your organs are dead… But I'm supposed to find a human female, and…"

I drew in a sharp breath, and I felt like crying. _No_…

His arms tightened around me, pressing me even closer to him.

"I won't let the council drive us apart. They only have a feeling that I am too attached to you… but they don't know for sure. Obviously Chris hasn't told them, and that's a momentary relief. I haven't talked to him since our fight, and I don't know if he's actually going to do it."

I kissed just under his jaw and held him tight.

"I don't think he'll tell… he was just very angry before."

I felt his head incline somewhat as a nod.

"I think you should go to sleep now." He said, ending the conversation. If he went on with it, I might have been too worried and upset to sleep. Good thing he knew me so well.

I sighed and agreed, resting my head against his neck again. The last thing I felt before I passed out again was him tremble as I pressed my lips against his throat once more.

x

I became conscious what seemed like seconds later, but I knew it was probably hours later.

Prying my eyes open, I looked to see Damian's striking green eyes watching me as I slowly woke up. A small smile was set on his lips.

"Morning sleepy."

I chuckled lightly as I stretched. We were still in the same position as we had been when I had fallen asleep –and thankfully, fallen asleep without nightmares again. A shiver ran up my spine as I thought of that. What did the dreams even mean?

He ran his hands through my hair comfortingly, sensing my dismay immediately. But before he could say anything, I interrupted him with a question.

I didn't want him to be so concerned about –heck, I shouldn't be so concerned about it. It was only a nightmare –something that was almost guaranteed to never come true. At least, I hoped not. I was living in a world of myth now where basically anything could come true. I just had to hope that this was nothing that I needed to worry about.

"Did you even go to sleep at all?"

He nodded slightly.

"You just missed it."

I shook my head, and muttered a 'darn' under my breath. He laughed quietly to himself.

"So what's on the agenda today?"

Today was our day off… well, my day off anyway. I didn't know about him… He had whatever his orders were from Nathaniel.

"Well… nothing." He said in somewhat of a surprised tone. I smiled.

"So you don't need to go…?"

He shook his head, his smile growing wider as I snuggled closer to him.

Then, realizing that there were probably other people in the room, I glanced behind his back to look for Kathy and Will.

They were gone –the bed was made, and there was no sign that they had been there in the first place.

He knew where I was looking without even looking behind him.

"They left an hour ago,"

I nodded, hiding my face in his neck again.

"Do you have any idea what you want to do today?"

My lips puckered as I thought. I didn't really want to do anything in particular…

"Well, for one, I want to stay with you."

"That's already decided," I could hear the grin in his voice.

"…I don't really know what to do. I've never really done much of anything to ever keep myself entertained before…" I admitted sheepishly.

"Well, whatever we decide to do, maybe it should be here so we don't arouse suspicion."

I nodded in understanding. I could live with that –I only needed to be with him.

There was a pause as we both thought.

"You know what I haven't done in the longest time… watch a movie."

I moved so I could look at him, my eyes slightly wide with surprise. He wanted to watch a movie of all things? It wasn't that I was scorning the idea or anything –it just came as a surprise for some reason.

"What? I've missed a lot… When I have been given time off, I usually don't do anything –I've never really had a reason to before… And anyway, I don't think I've watched a movie since… the nineteen forties. I must have missed a lot…" My eyes widened further. Since the _nineteen forties_…?

He laughed at my expression.

"Don't look so surprised! You have no idea what life was like for me, before you Marie."

I hid the grimace from him –I didn't like hearing that about him. I hated hearing whenever he had went through bad times…

Sensing my dismay, he slowly trailed his hands up my side, distracting me completely.

"So, what do you say…?"

It took me a moment of 'umm-'s to actually spit something out.

"Umm… well… Do we even have a tv in here? And movies?"

He nodded, speculating.

"I would think. Everyone has one in their dorm… And there are probably at least a few movies. I just don't think anyone uses it too often."

He chuckled as he sat up, and I nodded, but then groaned. His laughing stopped, and he looked at me quizzically.

"What is it?"

An expression of embarrassment crossing my face, and I had a hard time looking up at him in the eye.

"Well, truthfully… I really don't want to get up."

He smiled devilishly, understanding what I meant. There were two reasons why I didn't want to get up, and one of them I would just have to deal with –I was just lazy, and didn't want to get up. He knew instantly what the other reason was.

But in the next second, all emotion was wiped off his face besides the intensity of his eyes. It almost made my breathing stop…

He slowly leaned down laying himself out over me, seeming almost like he was testing our limits. He moved cautiously –definitely seeing what was okay with me, testing my reactions–, cupping my cheek in his hand, and then moving it slowly from my face, underneath my ear into my hair, and now it was almost like he was teasing me. He was now totally on top of me, trailing his lips over mine, but not yet touching. My hands gripped in his hair, bringing him closer to me and locking him there.

And within moments his lips were moving with mine; both my hands locked in his hair, his hand trailed its way up my back, under my light tank top, while his other hand was knotted in my hair. I think my leg hitched on his hip, but I was so overwhelmed.

My breathing started to quicken, to a point if I were human, I would pass out. I didn't really know why either –I didn't need to gasp for breath ever again because I didn't need to breathe. But apparently Damian could still make me hyperventilate.

But then he rolled over once more, so he was underneath me, giving me a chance to calm myself.

He pulled away since it didn't really help any, and began slowly kissing along my neck.

Whoa.

I attempted to slow my breathing, calm myself down… and to admit the truth to myself, I felt a little embarrassed –had he stopped because I'd gone too far?

"Did I go too far…?"

He stroked my face calmingly, looking at me from underneath his lashes. This definitely helped with my momentary nervousness a little bit.

"No, love… not at all, except that I didn't want to bring you to the point of hyperventilation."

I grinned and smiled, all embarrassment evaporated.

"Well, I really don't think there's any helping that." He laughed and smiled at me, his overall expression euphoric. We stayed like this for a few minutes, just staring into each other's eyes, until he finally spoke.

"Do you think you can get up now?"

I bit my lip, my expression playfully calculating.

"Maybe –I don't know… I think you made it worse." He chuckled again and sat up slowly, and I manoeuvred myself in a position to let him bring me up with him.

His hands slid under my knees, and then we were up, me cradled in his arms as he began to walk towards the couch.

He set me down on the couch, and walked over to a fairly large armoire I'd never taken notice of before. Opening the doors, he revealed a fairly large flat screen tv. My eyes widened –I'd never seen one of these outside of a store really.

A smile tugged at his lips as he watched my reaction –it seemed the smile would never fade, and that fact made me grin.

"So… what do you want to watch?"

He gestured to two shelves underneath the tv full of DVDs, and my mouth dropped. He laughed at me again.

"Do you even know how to work a DVD player, or the tv even? Because I don't have any experience with those things whatsoever."

He gave me an ironic, incredulous look.

"And _you're_ the one who was born in the twenty-first century!" I rolled my eyes.

"Well, I guess you can say I've also missed a lot too… as you could imagine. So I don't even know where to begin."

He nodded, eyes perusing through the many, many titles of the DVDs. Until he pulled out one movie, with an old black and white picture as the movie cover. I smiled wider, looking at the date it was made.

"You want to watch a movie from the 1960s?" He shrugged.

"Sure, why not? It looks interesting enough…" There were pictures of cheesy graphics that were awaiting us on the disc.

I giggled –the oddest sound to me since I don't think I ever had. Damian obviously noticed too, because he gave me a surprised look before he grinned.

I nodded, and he slipped the disc in the DVD player and started the movie quickly. And then he was suddenly beside me on the couch, moving me over swiftly so that he was in the corner of the couch, and then he moved me back so I was half sitting, half curled into him, sitting between his legs. I squirmed a little more, getting comfortable as the movie actually started.

This was supposed to be a horror movie, but some parts of it wanted to make me laugh. The phoniest effects could be seen here.

My attention couldn't be kept away from Damian for long though. I was almost always looking up at him, and the same seemed to go for him.

My mind ended up wandering… onto deeper ideas and questions I didn't think I wanted answers to.

He obviously sensed when this happened. His expression held more curiosity and concern than it had a few moments earlier.

"What is it, love?"

I bit my lip and considered possibilities on what could happen if I proceeded.

"Well, I think I know you… but I don't at the same time."

He cocked his head to the side, looking at me inquisitively.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…"

I hesitated, not knowing if I wanted to keep going or not anymore. He raised one of his arms that was wrapped around me and trailed his fingers over my cheek. He looked down on me, his eyes intense, and I may have forgotten to breathe …

"Just say it –don't keep anything from me."

His charm was working. And I wouldn't know if it was for bad or worse until I just asked him.

I sighed, looking into his eyes inescapably.

"Well, you asked for it…" I muttered. He chuckled, and continued to caress my face –as if to calm me.

"I want to know more about you. And that includes your story,"

I think he knew immediately what I was talking about, and shuddered slightly, his arms tightening around me…

I moved so I could wrap both my arms around him. I knew I shouldn't have touched on this subject, but I really had an itch to know. After all, he was there for my story. He was the one who gave me my new life… and now, I wouldn't trade anything for a time reversal. I didn't regret him changing me one bit.

He looked at me intensely, and I could see the pain in his eyes. That, that _one_ reason, caused pain to shoot through me, making me grimace. I hated seeing that.

"You don't have–"

He cut me off with a hard kiss.

"I've never told anyone _really_ how it happened. You're the only one I would or will ever tell…"

I gazed at his pained face, his hurt coursing through me too.

He sighed, closing his eyes, his head dropping down so his forehead pressed against mine.

Then, all of a sudden, everything began to fade away and a new picture formed in my head. Or, rather, a scene.

I think I saw and thought the things the way Damian had. I was reliving his nightmare.

"_Damian _no!_" _

_Many villagers held me to the ground. I thrashed and struggled to get up, but it was no use. _

"_No! No, no, no, _no!_"_

_There were fifteen people surrounding me alone, holding my legs and torso down, and many others from our tiny community surrounding them. I couldn't fight, and I would never be able to escape. _

_Someone grabbed my hair and bashed my head against the ground until I finally stopped struggling. My world spun for a moment, and I saw stars. I heard another scream from my mother when she saw a little crimson stream running from my head. Now it was a struggle just to stay conscious. _

"_Lillian, cease your infernal screaming! You have to realize your bastard is the child of the devil –he's associated with _them_, you have to believe me! My son saw it himself. He's bringing terror down on our village; it has to end! We've lost too many souls already." _

Them_ were the evil ones who were killing people in our village –the ones everyone was convinced were vampires. _

_My mother still continued to scream though, saying almost incomprehensible things about how I was not, how could I be, what had I ever done… _

_I turned my head on the muddy ground to look at my family –my mother, and my thirteen-year-old brother, Christopher. They looked at me in horror, though my mother's face was more stunned and anguished than my brother's. He was just too stunned to do anything –I could see it in his dark brown, almost black eyes. I only wished this wouldn't happen to him one day, though it probably would. _

_I truly didn't know what I had done. Part of it most likely had to do with the fact that both my brother and I were bastards. We never knew who our father was, and I would never know now. Another factor was that I was named after the son of the devil –what a fool my mother was, however much I loved her and how sweet and caring she was. _

_People in this day and age would not accept anything. We were living in an era of fear and tyranny. She was ignorant to not realize this. _

_I saw the farmer who was holding my chest down pull out a wooden cross. I could see my green eyes widen in a reflection on his furious blue eyes. _

"_No! Damian! Don't harm my boy anymore, please, don't hurt him…" _

"_Who was his father, Lillian, let me ask you that. Why is this boy extraordinary in helping the real healers? Why is he so different? And why won't you reveal the identity of this boy's own father!" _

_She glowered, infuriated. Her slight form tensed, as if she were about to strike someone._

"_I don't see how it's any of your folk's business! You have a prejudice against him because he's different… something you can't understand!" _

"_It becomes our business when people are being kidnapped, butchered, and then _drained of blood_, Lillian." _

_My mother fell to her knees in her striking off white dress, Chris still holding her hand, her usually extravagant dark brown hair in a mess. Her fair face was tearstained, filled with excruciating agony, and her piercing green eyes horrified. She held one arm out to me._

"_No," She whispered. She looked into my eyes, hopeless. _

_My eyes tightened as I tried to relay through a look that everything was going to be okay. I think she understood, because she shook her head, beginning to sob again. _

_The man took one last look at my mother, and raised the hand he gripped the cross in. _

_I didn't try to struggle. I didn't even scream as it came down, and pierced me right through the heart. I only let out a grunt and a sharp gasp as unbearable pain enveloped me. _

_However hard I tried, though, I couldn't keep my face from scrunching up in pain. It hurt me inside to do this to my mother. Chris and I were all she had… _

"Damian!_" She half screeched half sobbed. _

_My muscles gave out, leaving my body limp, and my vision went dark. I didn't know if I had closed my eyes –I couldn't feel anything but the wood sending pulsating pain through my body. I could hear my heart frantically still trying to beat, but it was slowing… I felt everybody let go of me and back up. I heard shuffling, and my mother screaming louder and more heartbreakingly than ever. She was most likely trying to reach me. And even though I was going through something more terrifying and awful than ever before, I couldn't help but feeling miserable that I was going to leave my family with nothing. We'd been getting by on barely anything for awhile now, and I had been the one with the job, fending for the family. Now what were they going to do? And most importantly, what was going to happen to them now? Would Chris be taken away from mother just as evilly as I had been? She would definitely be broken then. _

"_Pastor Foster… We've killed the evil one. We know we have more to finish though…" _

"_Agreed, my son. I will dispose of the body… I will burn the rest of him." _

_I could hear mother weeping loudly against all the murmurs of the crowd. The closest sound to me I heard were sharp inhales of breath. _

"_B-but Pastor Foster… Should you touch such evil?" _

"_The evil is dead now, my son… I will be fine." _

_I heard people mutter disagreements, but let the pastor through anyhow. As far as anyone was concerned, he was always right and what he said went. _

_I barely felt anything as I was being picked up –I really couldn't feel anything right now anyway. _

"_Everyone, the evil one has been killed." _

_I guess everyone had been waiting for this moment, when they could see the evil son of the devil dead, the pastor ready to purify the rest of my body. I wished I would be dead before burning… that would be even worse than the pain I felt now. _

_Some people clapped and cheered while others emitted low gasps. _

_The man began to walk with me, seemingly having no problem with my dead weight and the fact that his clothing was probably being stained with my wicked blood. I could feel it staining my dirty white shirt a deep red. _

_I don't think anyone followed –I could only hear one pair of footsteps crunch along the road. Maybe he wanted to do the purification alone. Maybe he thought the spirit I harboured was too dangerous and he was the only one that should be there for safety reasons. What idiocy._

_And as we moved farther and farther away, the less I could hear my mother's agonized screaming and crying, and the more I began to wonder why my heart hadn't stopped yet. It was slowing every second… becoming weaker and weaker. I couldn't feel anything anymore –no pain, absolutely nothing. All I knew is that I could tell the void was coming closer and closer. _

"_Hold on Damian… Just a few more minutes." _

_If I could have frowned, I would have. Why did he want me to last a few more moments? So I could be tortured more? I tried to stop my heart purposely as I thought of that. _

_Suddenly I heard the snaps and cracks of branches, and a swishing sound that could only mean he was walking through the forest. What was he doing with me? I thought purification was usually performed behind the church… _

_I felt myself being laid down, and him kneeling beside me. _

"_I'm so sorry for their misconduct… primitive humans, afraid of everything and anything. And I'm sorry for this. You're just too valuable to lose." _

_I could barely understand what he was saying anymore. Everything was slipping away faster and faster… I was almost in the blinding white now. _

"_See you on the other side." He whispered in a lilting voice. _

Almost there_. _

_Then suddenly I felt a pain worse than the cross stabbing through my heart, on my neck. I let out a half scream, cutting off abruptly as he covered my mouth. He had me in a vice grip that wouldn't let me thrash about. _

_That is, until I felt his teeth leave my neck, and that's when the serious pain came. _

_I squirmed, and writhed on the ground as agony ripped my insides apart. It felt as if I was being burned alive, then being doused down with icy water over and over again. I groaned a few times, unable to do anything else but try to squirm and endure the pain. Then all of a sudden, memories started. I was reliving my past. _

_I remembered everything bad that had ever happened to me –even the things that had been buried in the past, long ago. _

_People pushing me around, beating me, accusing me of unspeakable things… All the way up till now, where they'd committed the final deed. _

_After my last memory, everything began to wind down. It seemed time slowed, the white turning black once more. _

_And then I heard my final heartbeat. _

The vision gradually faded away, and I came out of the trance-like state I had been in, and was immediately stunned, unable to comprehend what had just happened for a moment, and then the powerful emotions that followed. I looked up at his face for a moment in shock. He seemed a little shocked too, but sadness was the dominant emotion.

How had he been able to do that? He had just _shown_ me a part of his past.

But I couldn't keep my mind on that matter for long –misery swept over me as I watched him. How could people have been so cruel and heartless? How could they have done that to him? And his family?

"Oh, Damian…" I choked. His eyes widened on my face as I started crying.

His arms tightened, and he laid us out on the couch, our arms still around each other, holding me, trying to comfort me… and maybe himself too.

He kissed me vehemently, pressing me as close as I could to him.

"Don't cry Marie. It's not your burden to bear." He pulled away, looking me in the eyes seriously. I paused for a moment, then embraced him tighter and kissed him fervently once more, tears that I was attempting to stop, streaming down my face.

"You made it my burden when you said you loved me."


	18. Chapter 18: A Different Kind of Hunt

**Thankyou for all the support guys:D 98 reviews... whoa O.o anyway since you've been patient while I really haven't had access to a computer, I award you with not one but two chappys XD And have a very merry christmas... I love you all like my beloved black 120 GB iPod Classic:) -glomps and cuddles:)-**

**-darkvampire **

Chp 18: A Different Kind of Hunt

Damian stayed as long as he could –overnight again, and then until I had to go to class in the morning.

After what he'd shown me the night before, it took me a little while to calm down. I still could not believe how absolutely horrid his death had been. And after he said that I had had a worse death than him! I couldn't believe that one bit. I still remembered my death perfectly. And I didn't believe that my death had been worse one bit.

He felt bad about making me feel awful, and after he'd apologized a few times and I told him to stop, it wasn't his fault. It was my fault for the way I'd reacted. Maybe I should've kept everything bottled up till I was alone. I would have to keep that in mind next time.

But afterwards, I remembered to ask him how he'd been able to show me _that_. He told me that he was surprised it even worked. We _were_ mates –you just didn't hear your partner's thoughts right away –it came with time. We were both happy with the fact it came so quickly though. I still couldn't hear his thoughts clearly though –it was still that little buzzing at the back of my skull. I wondered exactly when I would be able to hear him clearly.

Now, we were in my dorm still, and I was just starting to get ready. Kathy hadn't come back to the dorm… she knew Damian and I wanted our privacy momentarily, and she probably just spent her time with Will in his dorm, or went out with friends.

I was also readying myself for the day without him –now that we were together, I didn't want to be apart from him again.

He walked into the bathroom just as I had slipped on my skirt, completing my outfit, and he smiled as he looked me over.

"You look amazing."

I felt like I wanted to smile back, but the anticipation of the oncoming day only made me smile half heartedly.

His expression faded slightly as he watched my pitiful attempt to smile.

Then he was suddenly behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing his face into my hair, my neck.

"What's wrong love?" He murmured. I sighed, melting into him. Then I turned my head to look up at him.

"I just don't want you to leave,"

He sighed before he leaned down further to trail his lips over mine. I exhaled shakily, my eyes closed.

"I will only be gone until the end of the day. Don't worry… you know, I don't enjoy it anymore than you do."

My head inclined slightly as a response, too mesmerized to be able to do anything else.

But then he sighed sadly.

"I have to go now."

My eyes closed tighter before I spun around, throwing my arms around him. At any moment, we could be driven apart. Our leaders, our oppressors, could kill us. Or more importantly, kill him. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't be in this kind of trouble in the first place.

And the scariest thing that could happen was Nathaniel could find out. We couldn't really predict what he would do, but I certainly had an idea. The big question there was what would he do with us if he did discover our secret? I was afraid to find out, or even know for that matter.

He embraced me just as tightly… just as Kathy walked in the door.

"Marie?"

She pushed open the bathroom door, and her eyes widened as she saw us. My eyes widened in horror. Ughh… not again. This could _not_ become normality.

"Oh, my… sorry!" She said in a surprised voice before she slammed the door. I could hear her steps as she ran to the couch, and sat down. Waiting for me. She most likely wanted to talk to me –I had a pretty good idea about what, and I was dreading it already.

I groaned. And he laughed slightly.

"We're always interrupted, aren't we?"

I nodded, chuckling with him.

"Yah… I guess that might not ever get old." I muttered sarcastically –but I also gulped, worried that I would be right.

I felt his smile.

"It probably won't," He replied sarcastically back. I sighed as I came back to reality. It was time for me to go too.

I pulled back slightly, and he leaned down again to kiss me ardently –it felt like the last time I would see him, and that was definitely a possibility if something went wrong. I was just a little bit irrationally paranoid, but not at the same time. The danger we were in was real. The possibility that I would never see him again could be very real. I was almost scared out of my wits. And I just couldn't take this lightly.

He squeezed me tight once more.

"I love you."

Kathy burst in the door again, looking impatient, and obviously not caring that we were in the middle of something. I attempted to not glare at her, but her intent stare on me was hard to ignore.

"Come one guys –Marie, you're going to be late, and I need to talk to you. Damian, I'm sure you have something you have to attend to." It would have sounded rude if her voice hadn't been so concerned and sweet. I sighed.

"We'll be out in a minute Kathy. Give us a moment."

She nodded, her smile growing wider as she closed the door on us again.

I swallowed a growing lump in my throat, and he ran his hands slowly up and down my back comfortingly.

"I promise you'll see me again tonight."

I bit my lip, resisting the urge to argue with him. No one could be able to tell if that statement was true, but I would just have to trust his word and wait worriedly to see him again tonight.

"I love you," I whispered, hiding the growing hysteria in my voice.

He nodded, holding my face in both his hands and kissed me once more. And then he vanished in front of my eyes. I choked back a sob, and attempted to pull myself together. I had to reassure myself everything would be fine frequently. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to survive today.

Soon after, I walked out into the room where Kathy was, and was immediately grabbed by the hand and pulled out of the dorm. Typical, but annoying at the same time.

I didn't understand why she had an urge to do this every time we were walking somewhere together –it was as if she thought I was going to run away from her otherwise. I didn't object though… I went through past events through my head, remembering the idyllic, euphoric, intense parts of the past couple days. It put me in my happy place for a moment, so I wasn't constantly worrying and fretting.

"So… how was your day and or night with Damian?" She asked, her tone suggestive. I laughed with dark humour. Her thoughts always jumped to _that_ subject…

"Why do you always think we _do_ something?"

She laughed lightly, harmonically.

"Well, for one, I can tell you've always been attracted to each other –not just by your personalities, or the connection you have, but physically too. _So_… why not? And don't even try to deny it," She grinned, her voice filled with amusement.

I raised an eyebrow, a little sceptical. I could admit that I was attracted to him… who wouldn't be, his looks were godly… but he was attracted to me that way? I thought I was fairly average.

"How is Damian attracted to me _physically_?" I didn't think that made a whole lot of sense.

Her eyes widened disbelievingly on me at that.

"Marie, you did not just ask me that." I frowned, taken aback.

"Why…?"

If she looked somewhat surprised before, she looked absolutely astonished now.

"Are you kidding me! Marie, you're gorgeous –I shouldn't need to tell you that at all,"

I was still staring at her sardonically as she said, "Why do you think the boys are all over you all the time? I wonder how Damian copes with it…"

What? My eyes popped wide in shock. Was she talking about Taylor… and possibly the boys back in Salmo? I shuddered, entertaining the idea but definitely still in denial.

"Don't get me wrong, I know you're faithful to him. You're mates now for goodness sakes, and nothing pulls people apart when they become mates. But I can tell you're constantly lusted after by others… just look at Chris."

I grimaced as I thought of Chris. Didn't he want his brother to be happy? Why would he lust after me? It still didn't make sense to me, and I was a little afraid and mortified.

Kathy slowed her pace so she could keep up my pace, and rubbed my shoulder.

"I've done my best to keep guys away from you –it's up to Damian now. But you don't need to worry so much about it. I don't think Chris has too much interest in you anymore anyway." She smiled.

That statement surprised me to a point where I almost froze in my tracks.

"Chris doesn't have interest in me anymore?" I gasped in relief. She nodded, beaming.

"I passed by him yesterday, and I could sense he'd found a new love."

I frowned, considering who it could be. But I was tremendously relieved, almost to the point where my knees were weak –now I really wanted to see Damian.

Kathy had science with me first thing in the morning. And we just entered the room, taking our custom seats in the middle of the room where more of Kathy's friends were. I usually only talked to her, and Jason since he was there too, with Bridgette. Bridgette didn't talk to me –I think she thought of me as a harlot, but I wasn't sure. She really didn't like when I talked to Jason, and that gave me the idea of what she thought of me. Sometimes she purposely ignored me, but when that happened, Kathy usually had her back turned.

I didn't understand _why_. Kayla used to do the exact same thing when I hung out with Taylor and his friends. It made me somewhat angry and more than a little bit frustrated.

Then as we were in the middle of the lesson, a voice –that sounded much like Shelly– sounded loud and clear from somewhere around the room.

"Attention students, teachers. There will be a formal event taking place in the gala hall tomorrow, replacing first period, second, third. Everyone is to attend. Have a good morning,"

My head shot to different directions in the room, trying to figure out where that announcement had sounded. But Kathy grabbed my hand and eyed me excitedly and seriously, before she frowned at what I was doing.

"That was an announcement, Marie… you're really sketchy right now. Anyway, you don't have a dress for tomorrow! We didn't get you one the last time, remember –we got you one for the semi-formal. We need to get you one for a formal occasion now."

My eyes widened and I cursed mentally. _No, no, no, no, no…_ She wasn't thinking what I thought she was thinking, was she?

"Oh no Kathy… No more dresses, no more shopping, _please?_" I whispered to her as the lecture went on. She smiled, shaking her head quickly.

And then she put up her hand.

"Yes, Ms. Miles?" The teacher asked pleasantly.

"May Marie and I be excused please?"

I shook my head at her, a little horrified now.

He nodded, smiling amiably. He was a really mellowed out and lenient kind of guy, so I wasn't surprised at all that he let us go without objection or hadn't asked for a reason.

"Will I expect you two back?"

"No sir,"

He nodded, and continued on with his lecture. Some –most– of the people in the room turned back to look at us. I sighed, and mentally I was having a temper tantrum. _Why? _

Kathy, not giving me a choice in the matter, grabbed my hand once more and shoved my bag into my arms. And then we were off.

"_Kathy_, why now? Isn't there another time we can do this? Like tonight for instance? And aren't we going to get in trouble for skipping class?" My voice was slightly whiny in my frustration and annoyance –but I knew there wasn't really a hope of getting out of this now.

She looked back at me incredulously.

"Awww, Marie, don't tell me you're a goody good! C'mon… it's now or tonight, when you could be spending time with Damian."

I groaned and bit my lip. She had me there –I didn't want to waste any time that I had with Damian, but still I was not happy with going shopping again. I was already sick of it.

She managed to drag me down to the store, where obviously someone else was working rather than Pat. She had class right now… where we _should_ be. But I shouldn't object anymore, and grin and bear it… it would mean I would be able to spend all my time with Damian tonight.

We basically sauntered to the back of the store, and began rifling through dresses. Though this time, we chose more carefully. Kathy, not I too often, now tended to pick one dress, and then I would go try it on. Needless to say, it took twice as long then it should have. We missed basically all our classes.

I kept telling her that I wanted something fairly plain so I wouldn't stand out, but she always retorted that I would stand out anyway, and I should wear an extravagant dress to illustrate that more. I would get extremely embarrassed at that, and I swear my face got a shade whiter if that was possible.

We finally landed on a dress that I was considering, only for Kathy though, because she flipped when I walked out of the dressing room.

"Oh my gosh, Marie! It looks absolutely dazzling on you… please tell me you like it!"

The dress was a very dark navy blue, which contrasted quite nicely but drastically with my pale, pale skin. It accentuated my curves, and it as well frilled off just above my knee, and got longer as it went diagonally down my other leg. It too was also strapless, the cut straight across my chest and showing not too much cleavage, unlike many of the other more inappropriate dresses she'd made me try on… grr…

"Uhh… I don't know Kathy… is it formal enough?"

She grinned.

"I'm sure it is, and if it's not, who would care? You look stunning –I'm sure no one would object, besides maybe numerous jealous girls."

I frowned, and almost whimpered. But I settled for a groan. _Why? _

"Don't worry so much Marie… I think it looks amazing. I'm sure many other people will too. What do you think…?"

I closed my eyes, and hung my head slightly.

"Oh, all right Kathy."

She jumped up and down quickly, vivacious as she clapped her hands, a huge grin on her face before she brought me in for a hug.

"Ohh, I'm excited now."

I chuckled.

"You get excited about just dressing up?"

I felt her grin widen.

"Not just me –you too. I can't believe how unbelievably good-looking you are; though I guess I shouldn't be at all. You shouldn't hide your beauty."

I groaned loudly, extremely mortified at this point, before I pushed her off slightly.

"Now hurry up and change Marie –it's about time class is over, and you want to see Damian as soon as possible, don't you…?"

I nodded vigorously, and was about to step into the change room again when I noticed someone familiar leaning against the wall on the other side of the store, near the door.

My eyes widened as I saw Damian, of course, with an attractive lopsided grin on his face, one eyebrow raised. This humiliated me even further, and befuddled, I stumbled into the change room, listening to Kathy giggle and snicker as I did so.

I striped out of my clothes quickly, anxious to get to him, and to also forget that he'd seen me in the dress. It was just a little embarrassing, though he would most likely see me in it eventually.

I stepped out quickly enough, combed my hands through my hair to straighten it out.

I ran up to the counter, where Kathy was waiting impatiently… not for me, but for a person to help us.

Kathy was about to open her mouth to complain, but someone appeared behind the counter, seemingly out of no where. Taylor.

I flinched slightly, taken aback for a moment. Kathy immediately glared at him.

"Hello Taylor," She muttered acerbically. I didn't blame her for being so harsh –I would have been like that if I didn't control myself.

He completely ignored her, and stared at me, and what was folded on my arm. His eyes widened.

"Is that what you're wearing tomorrow?" It sounded like he was almost amazed. I bit my lip and looked away, not really able to feel anger right now. I was too mortified by this point to do anything.

"Yes, that is what she's going to be wearing. Do you have a problem with that?" Her voice was very hard and biting –and that finally caught his attention. His wide eyes shifted their way to her.

"What? Oh no, no… I was just admiring it. I'm sure you're going to look amazing,"

I began to shift uncomfortably foot to foot. Where was Damian when you needed him to stop a guy from hitting on you?

"_Any_way… We have to get going, so…" I stepped closer and shoved the dress at him, turning away so I didn't have to look at him. My eyes rested on Damian, still standing in the exact same place, his face hard and stone like. If I didn't know he was alive, you'd think he was a statue. His eyes shot daggers at someone –Taylor, I realized. He wasn't impressed with Taylor –I could see Taylor's eyes raking down my body, and it gave me the chills. I needed to leave, now.

I frowned and grimaced slightly before looking back at Kathy with pleading eyes. She knew exactly what I meant, and inclined her head towards Damian inconspicuously, telling me to go to him. I let out a sigh of relief, and patted her on the shoulder gratefully before running over to him. At first, I ran past him so no one would suspect I was going to him particularly, and then soon after he left too, catching up to me quickly enough.

He grabbed me around the waist to bring me to a halt, trailing his lips along my cheek. He pulled me into him, and I exhaled unsteadily, reaching back to run my hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry about that," I murmured, clearly dazed.

"Sorry about what…?" He breathed, his tone only slightly confused.

"Sorry about Taylor, though I can't really help it…" I sighed. He twirled me around so I was facing him, looking up at him. His eyes smouldered.

"Don't be sorry about that Marie. It's not your fault you're so desirable." I sighed. There it was again.

"You really are stunning Marie. You have no idea how attractive you looked in that dress,"

I rolled my eyes and laughed under my breath. I decided I would not argue with him.

"Well, we'd better get going… Class is about to end." He nodded, and let go of me only to step out from behind me and wind his arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side.

We walked fairly quickly up to my dorm, talking casually about what we wanted to do tonight.

"I have a proposal," He announced, and I glanced at him, curious.

"Oh, and what would that be?"

He had a calculating expression on his face as he looked at me. I cocked my head to the side, frowning faintly.

"I think I should take you hunting… you're bound to get thirsty soon or even now maybe. You've been denying yourself blood for awhile, and now that you've had your fill you're probably going to be thirsty faster. Once you start hunting on a regular basis, you can wait longer to hunt again."

I grimaced at the prospect, though I knew it was not nearly as bad as hunting humans. After all, I had eaten animals when I was human, so there really wasn't too big a difference.

I sighed and nodded.

"That sounds all right. How long will we be gone?"

"At least a couple hours –we don't have to travel too far since hunting animals does not attract attention like it does when you hunt humans. But we have to make sure we're far away from humans when we start hunting."

I continued staring at him inquisitively.

"Why?"

"Because when you give yourself over to your instincts, you can't control anything anymore. You have no more ethics –so if you just so happen to catch a whiff of a human's blood, you can't control yourself from killing them."

My eyes widened. Oh yah… I knew it was something I really couldn't control, but I couldn't help but feeling somewhat sad. Sustaining myself with animal blood though, I thought, was a step up from what I could be.

"So when do you want to leave?"

There was a pause as he thought. The noise in my head became more acute, getting louder, and I smiled delightedly. It was almost comprehensible now.

I think he noticed too, because a smile appeared on his lips as well.

"I think we'll leave in a few hours. We'll just relax in your dorm for awhile,"

I smiled and leaned into him more. That sounded nice –I wanted to wind down and relax with him after a day full of stress, and before a night full of… well, I actually didn't really know what to expect. I just hope it went well, especially compared to the last hunt I went on, full of misery and agony.

We were in my dorm soon enough and we immediately went to my bed and laid down, me curling into him as he wrapped his arms around me. I let myself relax in his arms, resting my head against his chest. But after a few minutes, I remembered something, and my eyes widened in realization.

"Oh! I almost forgot to tell you… you know that Kathy is sort of a relationship expert, right?"

I felt him nod.

"Well she said she passed by Chris just the other day," His arms tightened around me as I mentioned his brother's name, as if I was going to be taken away. I reached up with my hand, caressing his face comfortingly before I continued, "And she said that he didn't like me anymore. That he'd found a new love."

He turned me, and pulled me up so we were at eyelevel. His vibrant green eyes were wide, surprised, but mostly relieved and overjoyed.

"Really?" was all he could utter. I nodded, a joyous grin on my face.

He smiled widely, relief written all over his face as he kissed me exuberantly. He ran his hand slowly down my side, my hips…

"That is such a relief…" He murmured in between kisses. My breathing sped up once more, but this time he didn't give me a chance to calm myself. This, I was surprisingly, though not really, thankful for.

His hand continued down my thigh, and then suddenly he hitched it on his hip, trailing his lips along my neck. I shuddered and let out a quiet moan –and then heard the door open. We stopped dead, and there was only a second of silence before the door slammed shut. I sighed, relaxing. Kathy.

She didn't even bother saying sorry this time –I laughed about that in my head.

We both chuckled, and he kissed me softly once more.

"I think we have a pattern." I nodded, giggling frivolously.

"Yah, I guess so… though it's not in favour of us,"

He nodded, a wide grin set on his divine face.

"Well we should go get Kathy. We didn't mean to drive her away or anything…"

"Aw…" I groaned. He laughed, pulling us up.

"Kathy, come in!" I called, leaning into him.

The door opened cautiously, and Kathy had a silly grin on her face.

"Are you sure I'm not interrupting anything? You looked kind of busy…" I laughed, and shook my head. Damian smiled down at me, and Kathy giggled.

"Well I'm going to get Will anyway… so… feel free to continue while I'm gone,"

I don't think my smile could get any bigger. I felt really giddy right now –like I was floating on a cloud.

We got up off the bed from where we'd been sitting, and walked over to the couch once more. Then we sat down on the couch, laying down, getting comfortable again.

Kathy soon returned with Will, and they promptly sat down in their customary seat –the armchair, Kathy sitting across Will's lap, her legs dangling over the side, her head buried in his chest.

She purposed we watched a movie, and I almost started laughing at her.

"I know… let's watch a comedy!"

Damian and I groaned. I supposed we really weren't in the mood for comedy, but Kathy stood up anyway, and loaded the disc.

We didn't pay too much attention to the movie –we stared at each other, and I think, trying to decipher each other's thoughts. The more I concentrated on it, the louder the voice got.

By the time the movie was over, though it seemed almost like minutes later since we barely paid attention, we could make out some thoughts in each other's heads.

He smiled contentedly and ran his hands through my hair.

"I think it's time to go,"

I turned my head to look out the window –it was fairly dark out now. Nodding, he sat up, bringing me with him.

I supposed Kathy already knew what we were going to do, because she didn't ask where we were going or what we were doing as we got up.

I crossed the room to the other wardrobe and grabbed a set of clothes.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my middle again, and lips at my ear.

"I'll be back in a moment," He mumbled. I nodded, the corners of my lips turning up without thinking about it.

And then he suddenly vanished from behind me, and I continued in getting ready for our trip. I didn't know what I was in for… How would it turn out? I already knew that it wouldn't taste as good, or be all that satisfying, but all the same… It would be better than murdering.

When I came out, Kathy's eyes looked upon my outfit and her tongue clucked disapprovingly.

"Marie, you're not seriously wearing that are you?"

I grimaced as I looked at her, a little put out. What was wrong with the plain black t-shirt and blue jeans I had on?

Then suddenly she was beside me, pulling at my shirt. She wore a censorious frown.

"This isn't very flattering…"

My brow rose, questioning her.

"Come here," She muttered, pulling me over to the wardrobe again. I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"It isn't necessary to get dressed up to go hunting of all things, you know…"

"Whenever you can dress nicely you should. The uniforms we wear don't leave much to the imagination,"

She began to rifle through things that were hanging and in the drawers. A few minutes later she came up with a small spaghetti-strapped, white and black striped tank top and a pair of black skinny jeans. It looked like the whole outfit was going to be so tight on my body that it would look like someone splashed paint on me.

I groaned and stared at her incredulously.

"Kathy…" I complained.

She shook her head, smiling, and shoved the clothes into my hands and then pushed me back into the bathroom.

"You'll thank me later…" She exclaimed as she shut the door on me before I could escape.

I sighed, giving in and changed quickly. I was probably spending too much time getting dressed because of Kathy, but I wasn't about to argue and make this drag out any longer. Now that I thought about it, my throat really was itching and burning, making me a little irritated.

Looking at myself in the mirror briefly, I noted that I didn't look all that bad. And the clothes didn't fit as tightly as I thought they would have –they were comfortable and emphasized my curves and how really thin I was. That seemed to be Kathy's aim every time she picked something out for me, and I didn't really understand why.

She handed me a sweater on my way out –a zip up, black hooded one with a white tree pattern on it. I was about to put it on just as I noticed Damian sitting on the couch. His slightly wide eyes appraised me with awe, and I was extremely tempted to look away in embarrassment. But instead I slipped the sweater on and walked over to him, where he was now standing.

He took my arm, we said a quick goodbye to Kathy and Will, and then we were on our way.

"So are we running, or are we driving…?"

He looked down at me, his expression cheery.

"I think we'll drive."

"That's not too conspicuous?" He shook his head, smirking.

"And where are we going?"

"We'll drive at least a few miles away, find a mountain… I have a few preferred spots I like to go to."

Moments later we were in the underground parking lot, unlocking his Audi. I gazed at it in wonder, though maybe I should've been used to it by now. There were many fashionable cars surrounding me almost all the time now, so I should be accustomed to it soon.

He opened the door for me, and after a momentary pause I climbed in. I heard him laugh as he shut the door, and then the next thing I knew he was in the driver's seat and turning the key in the ignition.

I leaned back in the black leather seats, revelling, looking at every little fine detail of this amazing car. Somehow, I just couldn't help it…

He grinned as he brought the car to life and pulled out of the garage, laying his hand on mine. I squeezed it, smiling.

And as he flew down the driveway, passing through the iron wrought gates and drove even further down the drive until we finally broke free of the trees onto a road.

"You have no idea how much I love your car," I muttered low under my breath, and he began laughing at full volume.

I noted all the changes on my way also. I hadn't been outside much, and it was getting late in the year… I wondered why there wasn't snow yet. Or maybe had there already been snow, and it had already thawed, so I'd just been oblivious to it?

"I was wondering…" I said under my breath after awhile of relaxed silence. He turned his head to full on look at me, his eyes inquisitive, and this time I did not complain about how he should be looking at the road while driving at the rate he was going. I knew he wouldn't crash…

"How long have you been feeding off animals?"

There was a moment's hesitation as he thought.

"I have fed off of animal blood almost since I first became vampire."

I cocked my head to the side, staring at him enquiringly.

"Almost?"

He sighed and nodded.

"I admit, sadly, that when I was first turned I drank human blood… only because Nathaniel dragged me against my will to a village, and I couldn't control myself."

I laid one of my hands comfortingly on his shoulder, sensing his distress and remorse.

"It wasn't you fault… How could you have resisted –controlled yourself? After all, you were a newborn. No one could have been able to deny themselves in your position."

He nodded, eyes still slightly tormented, and squeezed my hand.

"But after that I deprived myself of blood for a long time. Nathaniel would get very angry with me every time we went out hunting, and I didn't feed. But I held firm as long as I could, just like you before, not wanting to take another life. And then I met Emery,"

My eyebrows rose questioningly at the mention of a new name.

"I met him randomly, and once he knew what was wrong with me since I was very weak, he showed me that I could hunt animals to satisfy my thirst. We've been friends for years now."

I nodded, completely understanding. Before I had thought he must have been through a lot in all his years, and I'd been right.

"So…" Another thought crossed my mind, another question.

One of his eyebrows rose.

"More questions?" He asked in a mockingly appalled voice. I chuckled.

"One more to be exact…"

"I'm listening,"

"Well… I was wondering… Do you have a favourite animal?"

He knew immediately what I meant, and began laughing.

"I'm not sure; I'd have to think about that…" I turned to him, grinning, and I was fairly sure all my teeth were exposed. He smiled just as wide back, and squeezed my hand again.

We finally arrived at a gravely back road, encroached with trees, obscuring the sky. This place that we'd driven to was remote as far as I could tell. I could smell a human for miles around, so hunting here shouldn't be a problem.

He parked along side the road, and I took a deep breath. He turned to me and rubbed my arm comfortingly.

"Don't worry –I won't let anything go wrong. Just relax…" He murmured soothingly. I sighed, and opened the door to step out into the night air. I felt a breeze brush across my face, and I exhaled shakily and then took a deep breath, smelling and tasting the air. It smelled strongly of pine, spruce… more coniferous trees, floral scents and much, much more…

He was suddenly beside me, copying what I was doing.

"That's right… breathe deep and find your prey. Let yourself relax…"

I took another deep breath, and locked on to a heartbeat a quarter of a mile into the forest. But just before I allowed my instinct to take over, I turned and threw my arms around his neck.

He wound his arms around my back and embraced me just as tightly as I did him.

"I love you," I murmured. He nodded, and leaned down to kiss me zealously as an answer. I could hear his answer in his head too… faint, but sweet. I could hear his thoughts momentarily in my head, mumbling in his intoxicating voice, "I love you."

"I'll be right behind you," He whispered in my ear, and kissed my neck right before he let me go.

I took one more deep breath. And then I shot off like a bullet into the forest, intent on a fairly large doe that was getting closer and closer with every stride I took.

And then moments later, after ghosting my way through never ending trees and shrubs, it appeared to me in a small clearing.

I had no morals. I had no limits. The bloodthirsty animal inside me had taken over once more –I lunged.

The animal didn't have a chance –it didn't know what hit it as I jumped on it and pinned it to the wet ground. It didn't have much of a chance to put up a fight before my head shot down to its throat and I was draining it, either.

Warm blood streamed down my throat, and though the taste repulsed me slightly I still drank. It was sustenance, something that my body recognized and understood that would keep me going, and way in the back of my mind I knew this was better.

I sensed something looming behind me as I was finishing off my deer, and I paused for an instant but couldn't help but lurching away from my food and attacking whatever was behind me.

Jumping up off the ground from where I'd been crouching over the now dead animal, I pinned the potential attacker to a tree by their arms. I was just about to take a bite out of whatever it was when I noticed who it was.

Damian stared at me with wide amused eyes. Oh…

"Oops… That was a mistake. I forgot about what would happen if I got too close," He muttered sheepishly. But he seemed surprised.

"Oh… Sorry…" My tone was extremely shamefaced. He seemed even more surprised at that. My head tilted to the side, my eyes questioning.

"What?"

"Oh, well… I was surprised you were able to stop yourself from attacking me. And how coherent you are right now,"

I laughed and grinned widely, causing him to appear even more astonished.

"But I already _did_ attack you…!" He brushed off his surprise with a shake of his head, and then smiled.

"So are you going to let me go, or am I another one of your prey?" His question was rhetorical, but I answered it nonetheless.

"You're my prey of course," My smiled exposed all my teeth, and I leaned down to press my lips to his throat. He shivered and I giggled.

Then I let him go, moving so he could have room to stand. His stance now was very business-like.

"You're not nearly full from one lone deer like you may have been with a human. You'll have to get at least four more big animals," I nodded, pursing my lips and started sniffing out another animal again.

One question popped into my head before I would try to get another animal, and it would not let me do anything unless it was asked.

"Aren't you going to hunt too?"

He shook his head.

"I'm going to see how you do for a couple more animals, and then I'll hunt." I nodded, smiling at him before I darted off once more.

I killed about five more animals –one more than needed since I wasn't satisfied fully. In the end I had three doe, one buck, one bear, and one lynx. It had been fun wrestling the bear, even though I probably would have been terrified in any other situation. Its growls and snarls didn't faze me, though mine had scared it.

By the time I'd finished, and announced I was full, Damian was astonished at my appetite. I merely laughed at that –I couldn't feel more alive and giddy than I was feeling now more some reason. It was probably all the fresh blood.

Then it was Damian's turn. I stayed back from him, knowing that he probably would end up attacking me like I had done to him when he snuck up on me feeding. I didn't get how I'd been able to do that either, but that thought didn't stay with me too long because I watched him in awe as he began the hunt.

He was so graceful and _powerful_ as he hunted –this was sure to be imprinted on my mind forever. Even as he lurched and took down an animal, it was still amazing to see.

When he had finished, he had had four animals… two less than me, and I stuck my tongue out at him as he rejoined me. He laughed as he wound his arm around my waist, taking his place beside me.

"What was that for?"

"You're making me feel fat." I said in the most whiniest, jokingly ways I could muster, and he began laughing at full volume, scaring nearby animals and birds away in a rustle of leaves.

He leaned down after he'd stopped laughing, and brushed his lips against mine.

"So do you have a favourite…?" He whispered. I smiled, nodding.

"I think I like lynx." We began walking at that. The sun was starting to make its appearance over the horizon, and I knew we had to hurry back to the school if we didn't want to miss class. Tonight had been amazing, despite however awful that sounded. It was him that made everything wonderful. And I didn't want it tonight to end.

There was a pause as he thought.

"I think I like lynx too."


	19. Chapter 19: What Was Once Only

Chp 19: What Was Once Only Fairytales…

We rushed back to the school, and I was pleased that everything went as well as it did. The burn in my throat was gone, and I couldn't feel more alive. I was almost hyper.

The sun was fairly high in the sky by the time we got back, though it was still dusky out. I turned my attention away from the sky –I didn't need to worry; we had plenty of time to get to the event– to Damian, who was now looking at my clothes, smirking. I glanced down, and noticed for the first time that I partially dripped blood onto my shirt and slightly on my sweater. I bit my lip, embarrassed, and I saw him shake his head in my peripheral vision.

"Don't be ashamed… That was your second time after all… everything comes with time."

I nodded, and leaned over the console to rest myself against him. We were almost back at the school, driving down the long driveway.

Soon later we were parked, getting out and he took my arm, smiling.

"Let's get you up to your dorm… you have to get dressed for the meeting." Oh yeah –I'd almost forgotten about it. It hadn't been so high up my priority list really.

In his eyes I could see some concealed emotion, and I tried to decipher it, trying to listen to his thoughts but I could still only hear him faintly. I sighed, looking into his eyes.

"What's wrong, Damian?" I murmured, and he smiled, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

"Nothing's wrong love…"

I cocked my head to the side, but before I could question further he swept me up into his arms again and ran with me, up the stairs I'd never known were there before and then continued all the way up to my dorm in less than ten seconds. I groaned.

"Do you always have to do that?"

He grinned devilishly.

"Yes,"

I rolled my eyes, and whined "Why…?"

"Because it's a lot faster than running at your pace."

From his faint thoughts, I could tell he enjoyed it too. And that put a smirk on my face.

Well, I had to admit that he was a lot faster than me, but I didn't have to like it.

"What happened to me being faster than you?"

"Well you're stronger and faster when you're newborn, but not for too long… So I'm actually faster than you now. And I have yet to know if you are stronger than me. It seems like it anyway,"

I laughed as he opened the door. Well, at least he gave me that…

"I have to go get dressed also, so I'll meet you after I'm done." I looked down at his clothes randomly. I'd never taken notice before of what exactly he was wearing –a grey and black dress shirt and black jeans. It was very casual yet eye-catching; I guess he liked to dress like that when he didn't have to wear a uniform.

Nodding, I stepped up on my tippy toes to kiss him goodbye. Just before I would let him go, I had one more question.

"Am I not allowed to be around you?"

He knew what I meant, and he embraced me tightly. I could see remorse in his eyes.

"I'll try to be with you… but I'm not sure." I sighed, understanding –I kind of had a feeling this would happen.

Sensing my distress, he hugged me harder.

"You have no idea how much I want things to change…" He murmured. And I swear I heard another meaning in there…

He touched his lips to my forehead once more and then vanished. I sighed, stepping into the dorm and closed the door. And as was to be expected, Kathy sat anxiously on the couch for me.

She had a ready smile on her face, though her expression was slightly anxious. Her toe had been tapping against the floor before she stood up to meet me.

She threw her arms around me.

"Ughh… why did you have to come back so late? Now I have to hustle to get you ready."

I glanced down at what she was wearing – a dark green dress that folded as it got longer, all the way down to the middle of her thighs. It was also strapless, contrasted amazingly with her pale skin and red hair, and looked amazingly elegant on her. I was stunned, and glad that she didn't wait to get dressed until I got back.

She smiled wider as she noticed my reaction to what she was wearing, and then she bustled me into the bathroom, shoving my dress at me.

"Put it on quickly so I can do your makeup and hair!" She exclaimed before I heard her saunter away, high heels clicking against the floor.

"Do you _have_ to do my hair and makeup?" All I heard from the other side of the door was a low growl –she was too hurried to argue with me anymore.

So without further complaint I stripped out of my bloodied clothes and slipped on the dress.

In the next moment Kathy was back in the bathroom, her makeup done lavishly with green glitter, eye shadow… illuminating her eyes. How she'd learned how to apply makeup like that was a big mystery to me, and same with how fast she could do it.

She sat me down on a chair in front of the mirror, and I saw her eyes narrow in the mirror.

"I think we should go dark for the makeup… How do you feel about your hair up?"

I shook my head vehemently.

"Absolutely not –just leave it be."

She shook her head, frowning, though I couldn't tell if it was a disapproving frown.

"You should put your hair up –try something different with it. Besides, having your hair up is more formal looking."

But before I could complain, my hair was up, in an extravagant design, a couple locks of hair hanging still in front.

My jaw dropped slightly in awe at how fast she'd done it, and I turned my head to see the bun-like design on the back of my head. I didn't know how to explain it, but I almost liked my hair up now. I would not complain about it anymore at least.

Kathy smiled, satisfied, and then moved so she was standing beside me, eyeliner in her hand.

I didn't object at all anymore, besides not allowing her to put lipstick on me; only a little clear lip gloss I allowed her to smear on my lips. Everything else I was satisfied with –she put shame to the way I used to apply eyeliner.

By the time Kathy was finished with me, I thought I looked presentable for the occasion. I liked my makeup the most –it outlined my eyes tremendously, and Kathy did an amazing job with my eye shadow as well.

She raised a brow, grinning.

"So… do you like it?"

I smiled, nodding.

"You did a marvellous job Kathy –thank you." I was content with it –I couldn't complain about anything. The only reason I didn't really like it was because I wasn't used to being dressed up so much.

She pulled me up by my hands, and jumped up and down in place.

"Oh, you look so beautiful Marie!"

I grinned wider as she sat down on the chair I'd previously been sitting on, and she picked up a can of hairspray. Just before she began though, she turned to look up at me.

"You can go right now if you like –I have to finish doing my hair and then go get Will anyway."

I bit my lip.

"What about Damian?"

"He's probably already in the gala hall, though I'm not too sure… Oh, and here. Take these," She held out a pair of dark blue high heels with sparkles strewn on them. They matched my dress well, and I stepped into them, not bothering to kick up a fuss. I knew there was really no sense in arguing.

It didn't make me much taller than I already was, and I was thankful for that.

I nodded, grimacing.

"Well I'll go down right now." Even if I couldn't be with him, I wanted to be able to see him. I still had the same fear from yesterday; only the danger was going to be in the same room as us. That meant we couldn't give absolutely _anything_ away.

Kathy nodded, and then her hands were a blur around her head. And then I left, click-clacking off through my dorm and down the hallway. That bothered me some, but I tried not to let it bother me for too long.

When I got there, there weren't too many people standing around. There were a few odd people that stared at me as soon as I walked in the room. I purposely ignored them, and looked around for Damian.

My eyes roamed for only a second before I caught sight of him.

He wore a tuxedo, surprisingly, and was standing next to Nathaniel, who had his back turned to him, talking to a few more fairly young –in their thirties like Nathaniel–, austere, professional looking men.

His eyes flickered to me a few times, and he had probably seen me before I'd seen him. I couldn't believe how fancy you had to dress… or how much Damian stood out to me in his tux. He looked beyond imagination…

I looked away immediately, walking over to Jason who I saw standing next to Bridgette. I could tell she was not very pleased when I walked over –her expression was rather sour.

"Hey Marie!" Jason said cheerily. I smiled faintly.

"Hey Jason… Bridgette." She nodded only slightly to acknowledge me.

"You look lovely this evening," He smiled.

"Thank-you… and you guys look rather spectacular yourselves."

Bridgette wore a plain spaghetti strap silver dress, and Jason wore a tux. It was surprising that we had to get so dressed up for this thing. I predicted it was going to be a meeting of some sort.

In my head I heard Damian murmuring something like 'So do you, darling.' A small smile appeared on my face, and Jason reacted by smiling wider even though he didn't know what I was smiling at. Bridgette huffed.

But in the next moment someone had their arm wrapped around my shoulders. I frowned, puzzled at who it could be, until I turned my head and I swear blacked out for a moment. Taylor.

I could hear in my mind Damian's hostile thoughts, and I shivered beside Taylor, edging to get out of there. But I didn't. I attempted to talk to Damian in my head.

_Damian, if the council thinks that I like Taylor, they'll lose all suspicion in you. Just calm down –I don't like it anymore than you do. Heck, I think I do hate it more than you… you owe me big time when we get back to my dorm. _

I slyly lightened the mood, though I was serious about it, and as I glanced at him quickly I could see the small smile brighten his once sombre face.

"Hey Taylor," I acknowledged him cheerfully, and I prayed it sounded genuine. I knew I didn't have much acting skills, but I was going to put all I could muster into this. He seemed surprised, as he should most definitely be. But that was not the reaction I needed in front of other people.

Bridgette's expression lightened slightly at the appearance of the new boy.

"Hey, Marie! You look ravishing." I heard Damian growl, and I hoped he hadn't out loud.

"So, Marie… Who is this?" She asked curiously and provocatively, however I knew her tone was not an attempt to bother me. I resisted the urge to sigh, and possibly throw up though that wasn't possible.

It seemed Bridgette was not angry with me when it appeared I had a boyfriend –she only disliked me when to her, she thought I was trying to steal Jason away. Well, I could understand that, though she may have been a little too jealous. I mean, it was so obvious that Jason loved her. He would never go after me anyway. How could he? I was –Damian stopped my thought processes in its tracks, instantly disagreeing with me. I sighed discreetly.

"This is Taylor. Taylor, this is Jason and Bridgette." Both of them moved forward to shake Taylor's hand, and however much and desperately I yearned to be free of his arm, I made no move to step away from Taylor. He was acting as my date tonight, and he didn't know it.

Damian tried to control his growling and vicious thoughts… as much as I did.

One of Bridgette's eyebrows was raised speculatively, and I knew what that look meant, though I pretended to be oblivious to it. She was asking basically through sign language if I was involved with him. I wanted to let Taylor especially know that I would never ever think of being involved with him, but I tried to act the complete opposite the whole time.

"So does anyone know what this thing is about?" Jason and Bridgette shook their heads, and Jason answered Taylor's question.

"No, I don't really think anyone does. But it must be important –look at how we're dressed,"

He pulled at the collar of his tux slightly, and we laughed lightly, though I desperately tried to make my half-hearted laugh sound more enthused. I was beginning to understand how exactly hard acting was.

A few minutes later of casual discussion, though fairly painful on my part, Kathy and Will arrived. Kathy's eyes on me were extremely sceptical, and I tried to communicate through a look that I would explain everything. I think she got the general idea of what I was thinking though, because she carried out things the way she would normally.

The moments flew by where we just talked and mingled with people we knew, and the room continued to fill up with many beautiful, fancy-clothed people. Many of them came up to us, some I didn't know, but mostly people I did know. Being Kathy's friend had its social benefits, though in my case I didn't know if you'd call them benefits. It seemed like she –now– I knew _too_ many individuals.

Damian's head still swirled with hostile, and sometimes volatile, feelings and thoughts, though he tried to calm himself down. I tried to calm him down too, but it was a feeble effort since I was also trying to keep myself from snapping Taylor's head off his neck. One comment after the other, meant to be flirtatious, but driving him closer to his deathbed with every passing moment…

"You would know about that, right Marie?" He chuckled, and I giggled along for an answer, though I was tortured inside to do it.

_You're an amazing actress… _Damian thought in awe, and I smiled, turned my head to him for a quick wink, and then continued on with the conversation that was taking place in front of me.

His voice was the only thing that kept me from snapping, and I was really thankful, though a little surprised that I could hear his voice in my head so early. He shared the exact same feelings –apparently a few females had already tried to hit on him, and I had to repress the utter horror and rage I felt, or else I would end up murdering Taylor in my ire.

As I looked over to Damian again, I noticed someone I hadn't seen in awhile, standing next to Nathaniel, leaning up to peck him on the cheek and give him a hug. Josie. My eyes widened –what was she doing? Why was she hugging Nathaniel…? Was he her actual mate? Or a relative…?

Josie noticed me staring at her in amazement, and somewhat horror, and she grinned back. She leaned back in quickly to whisper something to him, and he nodded, taking a quick look over in my direction before he continued chatting quietly with the other vampires like himself.

And then suddenly she disappeared for a second, and reappeared beside me, a big smile plastered on her face.

"Hello Marie –long time, no see." She embraced me awkwardly, having to bend down slightly so she could get her arms around me since Taylor _still_ had his arm around me.

She wore a marvellous dark purple dress that was slightly loose in the front and fit her curves nicely.

I smiled despite my confusion and apprehension.

"Yes it's been a long time hasn't it…? What have you been up to?" Her tinkling laugh caught almost everyone's attention that was in our circle. I realized absolutely no one here would know what we were talking about.

"Oh, you know –same old, same old… It's certainly been boring with out you," I laughed along with her. I guess you could say I might have been a bit of a handful when I looked back on things… I was pretty sure no one had broken a rib and almost died on them before like that. I could understand so much more when I looked back on things…

"So, Marie… Who's this?" Taylor asked, almost possessively. I sighed.

"Taylor, this is Josie. Josie, this is Taylor…" She nodded, looking at him for all of ten seconds before she looked back to me dismissively. Apparently she thought nothing of his arm around my shoulder… like most other people would've. That made me suspect that she knew about Damian and me… But how? I heard Damian asked the same question to himself when he picked that up from my thoughts.

"Well, I'm sorry for the short visit Marie, but I have to go back to Nate. I'll be seeing you later," I nodded, shuddering at the name she called him, and she had vanished in a heartbeat.

Kathy, with wide eyes as soon as she saw Josie disappear, leaned in and whispered so low to me that only me, myself, and I could hear it.

"You know Nathaniel's daughter?" I frowned. Nathaniel's _daughter_? Well, that explained the embrace…

"Josie is Nathaniel's _daughter_?" She nodded seriously.

"Yes –Josie LeBlanc. You didn't know that?" I shook my head, astounded. I had thought that she was Damian and Chris's sister for the longest time, but I guess that was just foolish to believe. I would have seen her around Chris and Damian more often, you'd think, then.

Kathy shrugged her shoulders, breaking the tension with a smile and then withdrawing, she stood upright. I wasn't sure if it was a fake smile –it was too hard to tell. But she acted normal, so I guessed she had no problem. I sighed, and tried to endure everything –until an announcement came on.

"Good morning teachers, students… I'm glad to see you all here. I will cut right to the point on why I called this meeting, and it is because there is a danger lurking out there," My head whipped over to the podium, where Nathaniel now stood, addressing everyone.

For drama, he held up his hand, pointing at the wall.

"A danger to everyone here, and around the world. Some of you know what I'm talking about, and most of you should be glad you don't, for the ones that do know what I am talking about are lucky to be here. The danger I am speaking of are werewolves,"

My eyes widened, and my jaw almost dropped. The room was deathly quiet now, and I figured most people would have the same reactions. But I almost burst right then. All I could think was give me a freaking break! Werewolves now? What else could there be? Next week, was he going to call another meeting telling us the danger of evil magical fairies and elves?

Damian wasn't surprised by my reaction, and he consoled me quietly in his thoughts, telling me that he knew what I meant when I shouted that in my head. He had thought the same thing.

"They are a menace to society; they kill without a thought. Which is why I called you here. I am making it our responsibility to wipe out these wretched beings –starting next week, all of you are to go out on patrol for them, and if you spot one, exterminate it. You will have shifts at night –it won't interfere with your classes."

I was absolutely appalled. We had to go out and kill these things now? Just when we'd first found out about them?

In my head, I could sense Damian was just as shocked. He didn't understand why we had to kill them either –to him, they'd never done anything. He never knew anyone personally who had fallen by the hands of a werewolf either. Or paws and claws he corrected with a smirk in his head. I couldn't help but cheering up just a little at that –he knew how to break the tension slightly.

"Now, you will come up here and take your timetables. These contain your shifts, and if you have a problem whatsoever with them, just talk to Shelly, the secretary. You all know her –and after you've retrieved your timetable you have the rest of the day off. Have a pleasant morning and afternoon,"

When he was saying 'if you have a problem with it' it sounded like he was really saying 'live with it', or something else that was fairly inappropriate…

The room seemed alive and fairly excited then, and everyone began moving to get their timetable. They were probably all excited at the prospect of killing something, even more so than they probably were when they hunted humans. It almost made me sick.

I didn't begin walking to get mine –there was too much of a crowd lined up anyway. But since Damian was so close to the podium, he was one of the first ones to be handed their timetable. And he announced with surprised in his head that we were on shift together –we were basically partners. I was shocked myself at this, though joyous since I wouldn't rather go with anyone else, and told him to snatch mine too and give it to me later. He smiled, like he always did when I talked to him, and picked up mine to.

Kathy was hesitant to leave me with Taylor, and she left only because Will gently pulled her along. But Taylor didn't stay with me for too much longer, because when he saw that I wasn't making a move whatsoever to get my timetable he had to leave.

"Aren't you going to get your schedule doll-face?" I resisted to the strong urge to bite his head off, and shook my head. Damian growled louder in my head when he called me that.

"I'm going to get it later –you can go now." He nodded, his expression slightly confused. But then he leaned, down, and tried to peck me on the lips. I resisted the grimace, and turned my head to the side so he only kissed my cheek. Damian let out an actual low hiss then, and I could almost hear him. The few people that had heard him turned and gave him a funny look.

It was a good thing Taylor had left then, and most of everyone was in line to get their own timetable because Damian was on his way to me. He had had enough of Taylor, and was more than a little ticked off.

Suddenly he was beside me, taking my arm, and then we flew out the doors. I would have to explain my absence later to Kathy.

When we were more than halfway to my dorm, in the stairwell, he stopped and pulled me down into him from where I was a few stairs ahead of him.

I felt his breath caress my face and all the tension and irritation instantly evaporated. I sighed and hugged him close, hiding my face in his chest.

He lifted my chin with his hand and touched his lips to mine fervently.

"I couldn't take a moment more of that… I'm sorry, I had to get us out." I shook my head, laughing lightly. He had an apologizing addiction.

I felt him smile wider.

"Oh Damian don't apologize –I'm glad you got me out of there too. If you couldn't tell from my thoughts, I was ready to murder Taylor."

He kissed me again as an answer, running his fingers through my hair leisurely.

But his thoughts were a little off. It seemed like he was anxious about something.

I sighed, pulling away to look into his eyes, my hand cupping his cheek.

"Damian what's the matter?" I murmured, looking into his hooded eyes. He shook his head, smiling contentedly and leaned down to trail his lips along my neck.

Then he gripped me tighter, pressing me against the wall and kissed me even more zealously. I let out half gasp and one of my hands gripped in his hair while I wrapped my other arm around him, bringing me even closer to him.

True, I couldn't complain one bit. I wanted him as much as he apparently wanted me. But I knew something was off. He was too desperate –as if I was going to disappear from him forever. I shivered, and gripped him tenaciously. If I was ripped apart from him –well I didn't know what I would do. But I knew I wouldn't survive it. He was a part of me now –it would be the same as cutting me in half.

He suddenly stopped and pulled away, looking at me slightly disbelievingly, urgently, his lips slightly parted as he stared deep into my eyes.

"Psst –guys, we'd better get going. Everyone's coming,"

Kathy whispered, a huge grin on her face as she saw us. She clung to Will's side as they ran past us, presumably to his dorm. That was normally where they spent their time together now. I smiled and winked despite my current mood at her before she disappeared from view.

When I looked back at Damian he was frowning at me, and he stroked my face softly. I frowned back.

"What is it?" He said it before I could think of just delving into his thoughts for an answer.

"I know why you're such a good actress now –it's because you hide your real emotions from everyone all the time. To keep them happy, so you don't worry them."

I was taken aback –I'd never really thought about it before.

"I think I may be a fair actress when I really need and want to be –but other than that, probably not."

"Well, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised about that anyway. I know you don't like it when people worry over you,"

I grinned.

"You know it better than anyone else." He laughed, but then sobered up quickly.

"You shouldn't have to hide everything though. I just wish I could do something for you…" His words had a double meaning –I could sense it. But as I quickly looked into his head for the meanings he blocked it, only his concern showing through.

I sighed, and smiled, lightening the mood. I didn't want to be in a worse mood if attempted to say or argue anything further.

"I know what you can do –you can give me a ride up to the dorm really quickly because I hear footsteps."

They were lone footsteps and I really hadn't a clue who they were but I didn't want to find out.

He smiled.

"Really? You want a ride."

I nodded, muttering a, "Mhmm…"

His smile widened, and he swung me out from where I had been trapped between him and the wall and onto his back in one swift movement.

My arms gripped around his shoulders tightly –I was basically getting a piggy back ride from him, something I'd rarely ever done before. I rarely allowed him to carry me without putting up a fuss.

"Hold on tight," He muttered, and I giggled, kissing his neck. I felt very giddy all of a sudden –there was a dramatic difference in my attitude after I'd gone hunting with him.

And then he sped off, and was at the door of my dorm in less than a second. He opened it without stopping, closed it, and then quickly ran to flung me onto the bed with a plonk. I laughed and giggled again as he joined me. We laid out flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling, in each other's arms.

Are eyes eventually –well actually very quickly– wandered to each other and we started listening to each other's thoughts. I could definitely sense the worried and anxious atmosphere in his mind. And I didn't know what to make of it –was it because of the upcoming werewolf hunt? And speaking of that, I wanted to know when exactly we were going on that particular hunt.

He answered my questions aloud.

"Well, as Nathaniel said, everyone is to start at the beginning of next week. We start from twelve in the morning till seven."

"So someone switches off right before we go on?" He nodded, his expression fairly impassive. Maybe he was trying to hide his reaction from this… or I could just be too paranoid. He said nothing else. And I didn't know what to make of that.

I held onto him tightly, curled into him, completely relaxed and comfortable.

Days passed, and each day was just as agonizing to be apart from him. I always had the constant worry on the back of my mind that someone would find out about us, and then the consequences of that.

He seemed to be more and more anxious every time I saw him too, though he hid it well in his actions. The only thing that gave him away was his thoughts. And then, finally, Monday arrived. I was actually fairly thirsty as he'd predicted, and the first thing on our agenda was to go hunting, and then go on the 'werewolf hunt'. I finally understood why we had been learning how to fight in gym class and 'the basics' class.

I had one less animal this time –I was trying to keep myself from having such an appetite. He laughed at me for that and kept to what seemed to be his regular diet –four animals.

And then we were off to fight the werewolves. Or what we could find of them anyway. We had taken his Audi and we had parked outside the forest, which is where we were headed to at the moment. I had insisted on changing before we went actual werewolf hunting.

I was still a messy creature when it came to hunting –I didn't know how on earth how he didn't get a spec of dirt, a drop of blood on his shirt like I always seemed to.

He grinned crookedly at me as I reached into the car, retrieving the extra shirt and sweater I'd thought to bring.

"It takes years of practice love –you don't need to be too worried about it… and by the way, I really don't know why you're changing before we go hunting for werewolves. What happens if we run into one?"

I closed the door and stopped to look at him, smiling at him genially.

"From the looks of it, or rather, the smell and from what I sense, there isn't any around here for miles."

He rolled his eyes slightly, obviously agreeing, and smiled, nodding –and then I stripped my sweater and shirt off. He looked away politely, and I grinned wider. If he really wanted to, he could look into my thoughts anytime he wanted to and see me.

I heard him laugh.

"Do you really think I would do that?" As soon as I had slipped on my shirt, he pinned my arms to the car and leaned into me, trapping me tight between the car and him, staring deep into my eyes.

I exhaled shakily… I had thought it was a rhetorical question, but apparently not. A few moments later of me trying to force comprehensible words out of my mouth, and only managing stuttering he gave up, chuckling lightly and leaned in even further to touch his lips to mine.

"Relax love, I was joking…" He murmured. I nodded, and he continued to kiss me for a few more minutes until he sighed and pulled away slightly.

"As much as I could and want to stay here all night, trapping you against my car and making you sheepish, we do have a job to do,"

I agreed reluctantly, sighing as he pulled away and took my hand, leading me back into the forest.

I didn't really get what we were supposed to be doing really. I guess this was sort of a 'werewolf patrol' or something like it, so I had to be somewhat focused on looking out for them. But I barely had really any attention on my surroundings. My eyes always ended up drifting to his face no matter how I tried to pay attention. I would think that my senses would have been going crazy if a werewolf was nearby anyway.

It seemed the same went for him, and it seemed his smile got wider every time I looked at him.

So it sort of ended up as just a night time stroll in the woods. Which was perfectly fine with me –I didn't particularly want to hunt werewolves. He also felt the same, and around the time we should start heading back to the car we found a spot and laid down for a moment, relaxing, staring up through a space in the trees at the moon.

I laid on top of him, between his legs, staring up at the sky while he had his arms wrapped around my middle.

This might not last forever. I had to accept that fact with a shudder and immediate denial, but I knew it was true deep inside. We could be killed at any moment in this world. So I would make the most of it as I had it. I felt his arms tighten around me more, as if he never wanted to let me go –he had heard my calm distress.

I turned in his arms and curled into him, burying my face in his chest and wrapping my arms around him.

I looked up at him, wishing we could stay this way forever, and he stared right back, beginning to trail his hands on my back to relax me. Something was going to happen. Something that could possibly shatter my world. I could sense it –but I could only wonder over what it was.


	20. Chapter 20: Pieces of a Memory

Chp 20: Pieces of a Memory

We continued things in a pattern, not running into any trouble… yet. Tension outlined his atmosphere, his thoughts more and more every time I saw him, and I'd tried to get an answer out of him, but he continually attempted to convince me that nothing was wrong. I was kind of surprised he hadn't gotten tired or angry with me since I asked him this question a lot. I remembered how he used to do this to me, and how angry I'd gotten with him for it…

I looked up at him from where he stood behind me, leaning against the wall as I rested on him. My head was craned back, instead of turning my head, and I looked into his eyes.

He smiled slightly and with one of his hands reached up to caress my cheek.

"Sadly, we have to get going soon love…"

I sighed and nodded, turning around to embrace him. He seemed a little stiff, and I exhaled more heavily, leaning up to brush my lips against his. His arms really tightened around me, and he kissed me even more fervently back. I knew there was something wrong. But I wouldn't ask what. I knew I wouldn't get an answer… apparently everything was just plain peachy.

"I'll see you later. I love you…" He murmured in my ear and kissed my neck. For a moment before he went, he was his old calm self. I'd missed this –dearly. I wanted to know everything was all right. I didn't even know what was wrong to begin with, which agitated me more.

But then he disappeared. And I sighed as I pushed myself off the wall and walked over to my wardrobe first, picking out a fresh uniform before I walked into the bathroom and changed. I expected Kathy to be back any minute now –this was the normal time she came back to fetch me to go to our class.

I was about to sit down on the couch as she walked into the room, seeming cheerier than ever. She had a big grin on her face, and it actually managed to make me smile in my mood.

"Morning Marie," She announced exultantly.

"Good morning Kathy… I guess someone had a good night…!" I said in a leading on tone, joking around with her. If she could blush she would've been –success.

She winked, looking away almost bashfully, giggling and shaking her head playfully.

"It's not what you think… your mind's in the gutter. Well anyway, I already changed in Will's dorm so we can leave now," She said, beaming at me.

"Sure it isn't…" I murmured and she rolled her eyes, holding her arm out to me.

I let out a small sigh before I took her arm and we walked out the door and down the hall towards class.

We were half way there when someone grabbed my shoulder from behind to stop me. I froze as I felt the hand touch my shoulder. It felt familiar, yet rougher than I remembered.

I turned around slowly to see Chris. That was why the hand had felt so familiar –because he and his brother resembled each other so perfectly besides the minor physical differences. They were totally different people all together on the other hand.

I remained frozen, almost petrified.

"Umm… Hi Marie." He said awkwardly. My eyes remained wide, staring at him. In my peripheral vision I saw Kathy beside me looking at him also, though her expression was not nearly as scared as mine was. She was rather confident, so I tried to take that as encouragement.

Once he realized I wasn't going to greet him back, answer him, he exhaled deeply and looked at me.

"First of all, I need to say I'm sorry. I'm not here to cause any more trouble for you, and I know what I did was completely idiotic and awful. Can you meet me in the library after classes if it's not any trouble? I need to talk with you,"

I bit my lip and considered. I had to try to stop thinking of him as if he were about to maul me. Kathy seemed pretty sure; otherwise she would have been giving the cold shoulder to him like she did to Taylor every time he was around.

I let out a sigh, relaxing slightly, closing my eyes for a second to clear my head.

"Uhh –yah sure, I think I'll be able to do that…"

He nodded, his expression lightening slightly.

"Thank you Marie… I'll see you later then," And with that he took off, leaving Kathy and me standing alone in the hallway.

I looked over to her, my glance somewhat questioning.

She smiled positively.

"I can feel he has no attraction towards you anymore. He's found someone else that he actually might be in love with."

I smiled. This was extremely comforting.

But I still had other problems… like understanding what was wrong with Damian. That lingered on my mind almost all the time now.

Kathy began to pull me along again, leaving me no more time to think about things.

Classes seemed to pass by faster than ever before, probably because I was anxiously anticipating meeting Chris. I really didn't want to go alone, and I didn't know if Damian would want to go, or even want me to go.

I asked Kathy what she thought, and she thought that Damian would probably _not_ throw a fit or be pigheaded enough to tell me not to go and sort things out with his brother. He just wasn't the type to do that. But if he didn't want to go with me –that she said she just couldn't see happening– she told me she would definitely be by my side.

When my last class had finally ended, I rushed out and down the halls to my dorm. Damian was leaning against the door when I got there, and I ran into his arms all too eagerly, burying my face into him.

He embraced me tightly for a moment, and then edged his finger under my chin to lift my face so he could lean down and touch his lips to mine vehemently.

He pulled away only momentarily to open the door and pull us in before he closed the door… there were probably people coming that I hadn't noticed, caught up in the moment.

I held onto him tightly as we leaned against the wall, him in front of me, pressing into me.

"I missed you…" He murmured, pulling away to look into my eyes. I sighed euphorically and nodded, trailing my lips along his neck and jaw.

But I could tell when he knew something was on my mind. My thoughts were still swirling around in my head even though most of them were now consumed with him.

He held me still against the wall, one of his hands on the small of my back, the other knotted in my hair.

"Marie… what's on your mind love…?"

I sighed and looked into his eyes. His breath fanned across my face, relaxing me.

"Well… your brother wants to meet me in the library to talk."

He continued to gaze at me, waiting for me to continue.

"I think he wants to make up. And Kathy seemed pretty sure that he wasn't infatuated with me anymore."

He nodded, leaning down and grazed his lips on mine, barely touching.

"And…?"

I exhaled shakily. Darn him. Whenever I really needed to speak, he could make my voice falter and make me lose my breath. It took me a moment more to be able to spit out what I wanted to ask.

I felt him smirk.

"Would you be willing to go with me?"

He finally kissed me lightly, whispering, "Of course I will go with you… You really didn't even have to ask."

I sighed, slightly relieved, and melted into him, both my arms around his neck.

"I told your brother that we would meet him right after classes were done," I mumbled, slightly overwhelmed by him.

He smiled and nodded, kissing me a few more times before he let go, only to take my hand to lead me out the door.

Kathy appeared momentarily –I saw her on her way to the dorm. She smiled and winked, mouthing 'I told you so' as we passed her by quickly. I grinned brightly and leaned into him more. He was not in a mood right now, and for that I was particularly thankful for. He seemed less tense and in an extraordinary disposition. Yes, there was still something wrong with him and I knew it. But I wanted to put this aside for now and enjoy the time where he was not fretting over whatever his problem was.

We arrived in due time, and walked through the lavishly adorned library doors to see Chris sitting on one of the couches.

He smiled as he saw us, and signalled us over. I had to admit I was surprised, and I think Damian was also. I'd never really seen Chris so friendly and open.

"Hey guys," He greeted us cheerily as we got closer. I looked up to Damian's face and he looked back down at me with the same amount of confusion in his eyes.

We sat down in one of the armchairs, sitting side by side. I was small enough that we could both sit comfortably in the same chair. I would be sitting on his lap in any other case, but here, talking with his brother we both didn't think was very proper.

I only managed a tiny smile back, and Damian nodded towards his brother to talk.

"I'm glad you came too Damian. I should apologize to you as well –what I did I know was heartless and terrible, and I'm so happy you gave me the chance to say sorry. I didn't think you would ever want to talk to me again,"

Damian allowed a small smile and nodded, his arms tightening around me, bringing me closer to him.

"And I'm actually very happy for you. I've never seen you with anyone before Damian, and the change in you now that you're with her is extraordinarily apparent."

I looked up to smile at him. He smiled warmly back before he turned back to speak.

"Well I'm very happy to hear you say that."

"Yah, thank you Chris… I'm glad you came to your senses," He laughed lightly at the slight sarcasm in my voice, though I meant what I said one hundred percent.

"So… I hear that you have found someone else."

His eyes widened marginally.

"How'd you know?"

"Oh I have my sources," I winked and he shook his head, chuckling. For some reason that I didn't know, I didn't want him to know about Kathy's ability.

"So who's the lucky lady then?"

After a few seconds of hesitation he grinned lopsidedly.

"Josie actually… But we're keeping it a secret for now. She doesn't think it would be a good idea for her father to know…"

I tried to contain my shock. It was Josie…? And not only that, it seemed she or Damian hadn't told him what he was yet… He was just like us.

I looked up to Damian questioningly and he bit his lip. All of a sudden, I couldn't help but breaking the tension by giggling. He looked so funny biting his lip. It just wasn't something you saw him do every day.

He glanced down at me in surprise and then smiled.

Chris remained smiling though he looked slightly confused.

"So how did you find out you two were to be?"

He grinned wider and his eyes seemed to glow. There was a noticeable difference in him, too. He was much happier than I remembered, ever.

"Well, I'm ashamed to say I was on my way to Nathaniel to tell him about your relationship. But Josie caught me on my way to his office and noticed how upset I looked. She stopped me and would not let me go until I explained… and then she just would not let me go."

I smiled. That was sweet –and just like Josie.

We talked more after that –well into the night, and then we had to go –I needed to hunt once more. Plus we had to go on patrol yet again… and I really didn't see the point in it. We hadn't caught a hint, a whiff of any of them yet.

I was actually really pleased that we had made up with Chris. He was actually a decent guy once you got to know him… and once you got over the almost constant sarcasm and jokes. After all, he was Damian's brother. He would almost always be around.

Maybe he could actually be a friend one day.

The night was very humdrum just like the last time. Except nothing was really uneventful with Damian around. And what added to that was that he seemed to be acting more or less like his old self again. I still had no idea what he had been worrying about before, and I didn't know if I should still be fretting over it.

But otherwise I couldn't complain. I couldn't be happier, which way back when, I never thought would really be possible ever.

The next day was fairly extraordinary also. Everyone seemed very nice… very pleasant with everything. Bridgette didn't seem to hate me as much; even Kayla was not that bad.

I hung out with basically everyone I knew on a fairly personal level such as Pat and Miguel, Jason and Bridgette, Kayla and Taylor, Kathy and Will of course…

Just as I was walking, or I might have been slightly skipping at the prospect of seeing Damian, someone caught me by the shoulder and turned me around. That someone had a fairly large smile on his face.

I grinned, my exceptional mood influencing my reactions.

"Hey Chris!"

He smiled just as widely back.

"Hello Marie. I guess I don't have to ask you how your day went,"

I laughed lightly and shook my head.

"Aww, is it really that apparent?"

He snickered and shook his head.

"Well anyway… I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with Josie and me tonight."

My lips pursed and shook my head.

"Sorry no we can't… but maybe tomorrow. Damian and I are planning on spending the night together."

He sighed and smiled anyway.

"I understand," He said with a wink. I felt like blushing.

"Okay I'll catch you later then."

And with that he walked away, leaving me to run all the way back up to my dorm.

When I met up with him I was happy beyond belief.

He grinned as soon as he saw me, and I ran into his arms like I always did, a huge smile on my face. I had a warm fuzzy feeling inside –I almost felt flighty.

"Evening love…" He whispered low in my ear as he embraced me tightly, brushing his lips against mine.

He pulled us into the dorm and sat us down on the couch. I smiled brightly and curled into him.

"So… you still haven't told me what we're doing tonight."

He grinned victoriously.

Apparently he was going to take me somewhere, and he had been keeping it a secret from me. He had very seriously forbidden me to look in his head for the answer, and I had agreed, pouting. I hated suspense.

He stared at me, smiling wider as he saw my memory inside his own head.

"Trust me –I think it's worth all your anxiety over this."

I sighed, giving in, trusting that he was right. He squeezed my shoulder and kissed me on the forehead just as Kathy and Will walked in.

Will's arm was casually draped over Kathy's small shoulders, and Kathy had a huge smile on her face as usual.

"Hey guys!" She announced as they plonked down onto the armchair, Kathy taking her place across Will's lap.

I nodded and she looked from me to Damian.

"So what are you up to tonight? Will and I were planning on staying in Will's dorm… probably go hunting… Nothing too special planned."

Damian smiled at Kathy and Will as if he knew something we didn't. I frowned slightly and raised an eyebrow. He winked and looked back to Kathy.

"I have something planned for us tonight."

She nodded, her eyes sparkling. We talked momentarily, asking briefly over how everyone's day was.

"Well we'd better get going darling –sorry we can't stay longer," I smirked and laughed.

"Uhh no problem Kathy…" Just the way I said it, I made Kathy roll her eyes and make her expression sheepish.

They left all too quickly then, which made me giggle and burrow myself into Damian more. I looked up into his eyes, smiling as he stared down at me.

"So when are we going to be starting your surprise…?" I murmured, touching my lips to his chest beneath his shirt. He stroked my hair, almost thoughtfully.

"Not yet love… later." I smirked.

"So… what to do till then…?"

He grinned evilly and pulled me across his lap, leaning down to kiss me hard.

We put a movie on soon afterward, another fairly old one since we'd both never really had the chance to watch any movies ever. Not even the modern ones.

When it was around eleven, he finally decided it was time to go.

I rolled my eyes, half annoyed, and half anticipating where he was taking me and what we were doing.

He grinned widely as he picked me up in his arms from where we'd been lying on the couch and ran me over to the bathroom.

Draped over the vanity chair was a simple spaghetti strapped, slightly sparkly red dress. I gulped before I groaned at the sight of it. The tags were in a language I did not recognize –I could only wonder at how much it had cost.

"Do I _have_ to dress up?"

He chuckled and set me down, looking into my eyes.

"Well don't you want to get out of that uniform? And anyway, Kathy picked it out for you. She thought it would look amazing on you."

I smiled slightly, though I was still pouting. The thought that ran through my head made him laugh.

"Anyway, I'm not forcing you to wear it… Though I would love to see it on you…"

He pressed me into him and ran his hands slowly up from my hips.

I breathed out unsteadily and sighed, giving in.

"Fine…" I muttered. I felt him smile and let go.

"I'm going to get changed too. I'll be gone a few moments," I nodded before I turned around to touch my lips to his and then he left.

I quickly stripped and slipped on the dress, glancing at myself in the mirror.

It was loose, but also hugged my body nicely, showing off curves. It looked good…

Suddenly I realized there was a necklace set atop of a note addressed to me, lying on the vanity. Kathy, I realized. She must have slipped in here without my notice at some point today. Shaking my head, rolling my eyes, I picked up the necklace and then the note, reading it before I really took a look at the necklace.

It read:

Marie,

Please, please, please, wear this with the dress. It will look just amazing paired with the dress, I know it will. Damian mentioned to me that your birthday had been in October, and you never told me! I would've thrown a party for you, but I guess now you'll just have to settle for this. Anyway, just trust me on this… And have a fun night :)

-Kathy 3

I chuckled and grimaced at the same time. Typical Kathy. I was really glad I'd dodged the birthday bullet, and I would have to give her trouble later for getting me a present. I was basically dead now –I didn't need birthday parties or presents anymore.

Speaking of the necklace, I looked down at it, finally giving myself a chance to examine it.

It was a reflective black onyx heart-shaped locket on a silver chain link. I turned it over in my fingers, admiring the back where an intricate design of a rose was engraved.

Opening it, I realized nothing was in it. It awaited me to place a picture in it. I smiled. Kathy was so thoughtful. And I _did_ like it a lot… but I didn't think I could accept it.

But if I didn't wear it, and if word got to Kathy, which it most likely would _somehow_, she would be upset. I sighed, sweeping my hair away from my neck so I could fasten it around my neck.

It hung perfectly, not too high, not too low on my pale chest, and I had to admit Kathy did have good taste. It looked pretty good.

I quickly applied eyeliner once more and then a moment later there was a light knock on the door.

I smiled and ran over to the door, opening it expecting to see him. But when I didn't, I frowned, poking my head out to look at the door. Still nothing. Where did he go?

I took a step out, still looking at the door and around the couches until suddenly I was grabbed around the waist and swung up into someone's arms.

I screamed and laughed as soon as I saw Damian's mischievous child-like grin. He kissed me fervently before he rushed out of the room, me still in his arms, all the way down to the parking lot where we climbed in his car.

I leaned into him as he started the car and drove out of the garage, the grounds, and onto the road.

We drove for a bit, and I didn't really pay attention to exactly where we were going. I only looked up at him as he smiled, staring out the windshield as we drove at a fast pace. He seemed anxious to get to wherever we were going. I only watched him, and I think he was pleased by this. I would have less of an idea where we were going, even though I probably didn't know anyway.

What seemed like seconds later to me, he parked the car along the side of the road… I looked up to him curiously.

"Are we here?"

He smiled, shaking his head. Then he brought out a long, fairly wide crimson red ribbon out of the breast pocket of the casual white dress shirt he wore.

Then all I could see was red as he tied it around my head, securing it loosely but enough so I couldn't see a thing.

I moaned and reached up; attempting to rip it off, but he caught my wrists in his hands tightly. Then I felt his face close to mine.

"No –wait hun. Please keep it on,"

I groaned.

"It's not like I'm going to know where we're going anyway. I've only been to the places you or Kathy have brought me to and other than that I haven't stepped foot outside of Salmo."

He sighed and pressed his lips to my throat.

"Just do this for me… please?"

His low smooth voice, his breath on my neck, and how close he was to me toyed with my reasoning. I sighed, nodding, and pursed my lips which he immediately kissed.

A small smile remained on my face as he pulled away. There was no doubt that I did not enjoy this, but I would just have to deal with it for him.

We continued to drive down the road, and I kept myself burrowed into his side as he drove. I tried not to think about what was happening right now, and kept my attention completely on him, listening to the calm sound of his breathing…

Then we came to a stop once more. And I sighed, relieved as I went to take off the blindfold again. But he stopped my hands.

"Not yet,"

I could hear the smile in his voice. And I nodded, trying to keep the smile on my face. I wondered when I could finally take the darned thing off.

I heard him open the door and in an instant he was on my side, undoing my seatbelt and picking me up in his arms. I smiled. This was actually better than dealing with the hassle of walking me, making me trip every five seconds without my vision wherever we were going.

I felt his arms tighten around me as he took off.

I heard the faint sound of his feet touched the ground, and barely anything else. I couldn't really tell where we were going –city, forest; I was clueless as to where we were headed. All I could think was that when he really wanted to surprise someone he really had the ability to.

There was a swish of what sounded like branches, so it gave me a guess as to where we were at least.

And then we came to a halt.

He laid us down, on something that felt fairly rough and the smell of pine and various other trees were very distinct. I definitely knew we were in a forest then.

I nestled into him, getting comfortable. And then he removed the blindfold.

And I stared in awe, and gasped slightly at the sky above me.

It was very starry and the moon was almost full –it looked absolutely amazing.

I looked at him, a wondering look on my face and he smiled.

I realized we were in a tree, high up off the ground, lying on a huge supportive branch. How could he find all these places?

"So I take it that you like it…?"

I just stared at him and grinned for an answer. He smiled just as widely back and moved so he was lying on top of me, kissing me feverishly.

He ran his hand through my hair and the other one along my back as we relaxed, looking into each other's eyes.

We remained like this for awhile before he pecked me on the lips a few more times and then turned us over so he cradled me against him.

"This is amazing…" I murmured, kissing his chest.

All of a sudden he was up, pulling me up lightly with an extended arm.

I frowned, puzzled.

He smiled as soon as I was up.

"What are you doing?"

"Look away." I cocked my head to the side, really very confused now.

"What?"

"Look away for a moment –and don't look into my head for a minute either –don't ruin the surprise."

I grinned lopsidedly.

"_Another_ surprise? How could it get better than this?"

He motioned for me to turn my head away, a broad smile on his face. And I complied reluctantly. I didn't really know what to expect.

"Hold out your arm,"

I did this without complaint this time, murmuring a, "I wonder what you're going to do with it…"

He chuckled as I felt something being clasped on my wrist.

"Okay –you can look now."

I glanced down to see a beautiful silver chain link bracelet glimmering on my wrist. It had many intricate designs engraved and shaped into it, and I was absolutely astonished. My eyes widened… it was so beautiful…

"Do you like it…?"

I was speechless for a minute. He reached up with his fingers to nudge my chin up gently so he could see my expression. His incredibly green eyes were slightly concerned.

"Are you kidding me…? It's gorgeous… I've never seen anything like this before," I murmured, star struck.

He smiled with relief and pulled me to him, embracing me tightly.

"Well, I'm not surprised you've never seen anything like it –I made it myself when I was alive."

I think my jaw literally dropped as I raised my head from his chest and stared into his eyes. This bracelet, this beautifully designed chain link bracelet had been made by _him_ in the _sixteen hundreds_.

I was almost overwhelmed for a moment –he had just given me a piece of his past.

"You… made this?"

He nodded, smiling happily.

"I finished it almost around the time people started accusing me of things. A couple took pity on me back then, since no one would take me seriously and everyone despised me. They were jewellery makers, and took me on as sort of an apprentice secretly, since if people knew I was associated with them, they would also be ridiculed." Images of them flashed through his head –I even saw through his eyes how he had worked on this bracelet for awhile, and when he was finished, the satisfied and proud expressions on the couple's faces. It was basically the only form of kindness from someone to him besides his own family. And I was extremely grateful to them.

But for a moment, all I could think of was how despicable people were back then. Then I was consumed by amazement. He had survived through so much… and he was still the most incredible, kind, enveloping person I would ever know.

After a moment I raised my head and kissed him zealously, my hands gripped in his hair.

"Thank you so much… you have no idea how much this means to me… I love you,"

I felt him smile on my lips and then kiss me ardently, pressing me closer to him.

A minute later I led him back over to the tree trunk and laid us down. I snuggled into him and let my head relax on his chest.

"Didn't I tell you earlier, that tonight was going to be worth all your worry?" He murmured. I smiled.

"Well the night's not over yet, is it?"

He grinned.

"I suppose not…" He mumbled playfully, kissing me on the forehead.

We stared up at the sky for awhile. I still could not believe what I'd been gifted tonight, and where we were right now. Having him was more than I could ask for.

Then a pressing thought ran through my head that would not be ignored. Rather, it was an intensive impulse that could absolutely not be ignored.

I craned my head back to whisper in his ear.

"Close your eyes."

He glanced at me confusedly for a moment from the corner of his eyes until he smiled and closed his eyes.

I immediately moved so I was on top of him, straddling his waist with my legs. Then I began to slowly unbutton his shirt, hesitating. He made no move to stop me. He breathed slowly in and out, his expression relaxed. I purposely kept myself out of his head. I wanted to experience his reactions without knowing them before they were put into action. I continued to open his shirt.

When it was all unbuttoned I pulled it open to reveal his marble white, perfectly chiselled chest. I was almost surprised –he was so skinny and never wore tight clothing, so you wouldn't think there was any muscle on him at all, but there definitely was.

I leaned down and began kissing his stomach, his chest… he was breathing unsteadily, more quickly and unevenly by the time I reached his collar bone.

Suddenly as I touched my lips to his throat, along the jugular, his hands suddenly gripped in my hair and he rolled us over, so he was pressing into me, kissing me intensely.

I began to pull at the end of my dress, but he stopped me, a grin on his face. And then, all too quickly, he moved down so he still on top of me, kissing my tummy and making me shiver pleasantly.

I trembled and watched him as he got higher and higher on my body, doing the same to me as I did him, until a few moments later; I couldn't take his teasing anymore and pulled him up forcibly, pressing my lips to his.

I was so happy that he seemed himself now. And I really hoped whatever had bothered him, and that was still possibly bothering him, wouldn't drive him away.

He was truly my other half. And I didn't know what I would ever do without him again.


	21. Chapter 21: The End

Chp 21: The End.

When the full moon finally rolled around, I was becoming fairly good friends with Josie and Chris. Damian and I hung out with them a lot, as well as Kathy and Will. I became better friends with Pat and Miguel, and I was just not able to be friends with Taylor and Kayla. Taylor still badgered me, and Kayla was still the spiteful Kayla that I had met the first time.

And Damian stayed with me as he always did on the night of the full moon. It had been a nice night… all but how the dreams continued. I woke up screaming like I did every time. I did not know what they meant in the least. But it scared me out of my wits, and Damian was very worried about it also. We both had no idea what they meant. That was the scariest part. I had to take some meaning from these dreams. They continued from when I was human. Vampires should not be able to dream. But I did. So there had to be some message in the dreams… something that I was missing but was extremely important.

Damian had to work on my day off, and Will and Kathy were out doing something. I think they said they were going to a beach Will had found awhile ago that was deserted most of the time. It was still pretty cold outside, though we had had a thaw a few weeks ago, so they would attract attention.

Then there was Pat and Miguel. Kathy had told me they were doing something as well, and she seemed very giddy this morning, so it obviously had something to do with Pat and Miguel's relationship. Miguel was probably taking Pat somewhere nice… somewhere warm probably because Pat loved the sun and warmth.

Today was a nice day… the sun was shining and it was fairly mild out. A perfect day to get out, Damian had said. He had encouraged me the night before to go out without him, find someone that would want to go out and enjoy the weather with me. Have fun. I sighed.

Now, I was sitting alone in my dorm, staring out the large window to see the sun drenched yard and trees. It was eerily silent –not even a slight breeze could be heard from outside. All sounds inside the school were distant since most people were doing something today.

I fingered the bracelet on my wrist, thinking of him, and I was still not able to believe that he had given me this. It was so spectacular… the artistry on it was phenomenal. If he was that good when he was alive, his skills must've only gotten better. After all, almost everything was heightened, got better when you were changed.

I thumped my head against the couch, bored out of my mind. I didn't know what I wanted to do. One thing was for sure, I really did not want to do anything with anyone else than Kathy, Will, Damian, or Pat.

It sucked that I couldn't sleep whenever I wanted to now. If I could sleep now, I would be able to burn some time before everyone got back.

I sighed heavily and laid myself back on the couch, running my hand through my hair, staring up at the ceiling high above me.

What was I doing? I was trying to figure out how time could go quicker and wishing I could sleep. I'd pretty much sunk to how low boredom could get. Or maybe not. When I started doing very random things or started twiddling my thumbs –or better yet, started to talk to inanimate objects out of lonesomeness. I was never usually lonely. But for some reason today I'd never felt more alone.

"Marie! Marie?" Someone banged on the door, shouting my name, which made me start, jumping off the couch and land on the floor.

"Marie!" Ugh! Taylor… why did he have to but in at the most inconvenient of times, though right now wasn't inconvenient… he was just someone annoying I never wanted to be around. And I knew this was somewhat of a dramatization, but I couldn't help it. I'd told him no _so_ many times… he would just not learn.

"Uhh –just give me a sec Taylor…" I muttered, trying not to grit my teeth.

I got up leisurely, getting on my knees first then pushing myself up off the ground, prolonging answering the door.

But Taylor, being Taylor, rushed in before I answered the door and stood beside me, taking my hand to help me up.

I sighed, closing my eyes.

"Hey Marie… how are you?" He asked brightly, yet in a somewhat concerned tone.

"Good."

"That's good," He smiled, slinging his arm around my shoulders. I had to keep myself from shrugging out from him.

"So, do you have anything planned for today? I was wondering if you wanted to hang out or something today."

I guess it was my fault for leading him on at that announcement. He'd been getting more and more clingy ever since then.

"Umm… not that I know of yet –Kathy should be back in a few hours though."

"Well there's no reason to spend that time alone is there! Come hang with me,"

The thought of that was really unappealing… but, I had nothing else to do, and since he knew that, he was probably going to stay with me no matter if I said otherwise.

"Sure –what were you thinking of doing?"

He grinned, enthused.

"You'll see…" He trailed off in a puckish voice. I felt like throwing up.

He led me across the room and out the door, heading who knows where.

"Have you ever had a drink?"

I frowned.

"What? What do you mean?"

He opened his lips to speak when someone bumped into him, wrapping her arm around him. I sighed… this was just perfect. Kayla had come along to make my day even more unpleasant.

"Hey, Taylor! Marie…" Her voice was first bubbly and then dark as she uttered my name.

I finally shrugged out from his arm, letting Kayla have him.

"Uh, hey Kay…" He murmured, looking slightly disappointed.

"What are you up to?" I noticed how she completely ignored my being there then.

"I was just asking if Marie if she–"

"Oh, well I was just wondering if you would want to come and watch a movie with me in my dorm,"

For a moment I hoped in vain that he would agree. But I knew that just wouldn't end up happening.

"Well I was asking Marie if she wanted to go get a drink… you know –party. Since she remains clueless, I guess she hasn't been down to the club yet."

I frowned. The club…? What on earth was he talking about? Drinks, partying and 'the club'…?

"Really… well you won't mind if I come then?"

"Uhh, wait, wait, wait! I don't even know what's going on here. What are you talking about?"

Taylor grinned at me.

"You obviously haven't had fun yet here. Just wait and see –you're going to have an awesome night,"

I began to feel very nervous then. That didn't sound tempting at all. It was more like the opposite; I really felt no need to go to a club with this boy, and his 'drinks'.

Kayla raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, why not? Bring her along, if she hasn't been there before. I'm sure she'll have some fun."

And before I could object any further Taylor took my arm and took off, making me have to run as well. The most prominent feeling I had at the moment was anxiety. I still only had a faint idea about what they were talking about.

Then suddenly we were in a dark hallway, and down the hallway strobe lights were flashing in intricate mind boggling patterns. It was almost enough to give someone, or rather me, convulsions.

He led us farther into the club. And then I realized what it really was –how could I have been so oblivious? It was a bar! Everything was deafening loud, though for some reason I enjoyed it, and everyone was laughing and talking loudly. People were also dancing in a fairly inappropriate way –grinding on the dance floor while holding alcoholic drinks in the _middle of the day_. And I wasn't old fashioned really… maybe I would have seen this in a better light if Damian had taken me here to dance.

Anyway, wasn't this a night time type of deal? And how could they be drinking alcohol? Everyone in the room was a vampire, so how was everyone drinking?

Taylor pulled me and Kayla over to the bar where a bartender awaited someone to order something. The music beating in my ears was rhythmic and alluring... I almost felt like dancing. If only Damian were here. I could enjoy myself to the fullest and would not fall in the process.

We sat down on the barstools and the bartender was asking us what we wanted in a second.

"Hey guys, what can I get you today?"

Taylor ordered us something I'd never heard of. I never had a drink even when I was alive, so how was I to know?

A moment later Kayla passed us a delicate glass each, keeping one for her. I wondered if she slipped anything into it before she gave mine to me.

I stared at it as Kayla and Taylor took a generous sip of theirs eagerly. Kayla giggled frivolously, seemingly on the brink of a laughing fit, and Taylor watched me with a somewhat spaced out, happy look while his eyes were also concerned.

"Have some Marie! It's great," He murmured smoothly. I think he was trying to make his voice sound seductive. I shivered.

It wasn't like they were drunk. It was just like they were buzzed or something.

They finished off their drinks and had one more while I sat beside them, still contemplating on trying some. From the way they were acting, almost drunk, I did not want to end up there by drinking this.

He laughed almost falling off the stool and stared at me bleary eyed.

"Hey babe… let's dance," He murmured, sounding like he was trying to make his voice sound seductive. I noticed that he didn't sound as if he were drunk. It appeared these drinks could only get you buzzed –give you a giddy, happy feeling. I thought maybe I would try it –but not with Taylor and Kayla.

"Uhh…" I stuttered, not sure what to say. I definitely did not want to go with him, but I didn't want to stick out or be rude.

Taylor glared over my back, and I turned my head slightly to see what he was glowering at. Some people were staring at my back with a weird and unwholesome emotion to me in their eyes. I knew what that look was. And I didn't know why I got it all the time. I knew it made Damian uneasy and angry, though he didn't show his distaste for it as apparently as Taylor did. He was more sensible than that.

To me and Damian, Taylor was just one of the people who gave me this look all the time. And now he was glaring at everyone else like he hated it too. It was eerie, and I shuddered.

Suddenly he grabbed me by my wrist, drink in hand, and pulled me out onto the dance floor. I looked at him like he was insane, with wide eyes –what was he doing?

We stopped and he stood behind me and put his hands on my waist. I froze up. No –this was not right. I tried to squirm away but he began dancing, and he moved me also to the beat. I grimaced and tried to push myself away from him again, muttering that I didn't want to, but he only tightened his grip and danced faster.

Mentally, I was freaking out. This felt _so_ wrong and _so _gross.

"May I have this dance?" Someone tapped me on the shoulder beside me, and my head swivelled.

It was Josie, beaming at me. Taylor stopped, staring at Josie strangely.

"Uhh sorry… Marie doesn't swing that way," I turned to glare at him.

"How do you know I don't!" I asked in a questioning tone, and stepped out of his arms and took Josie's arm. He sobered up slightly, raised an eyebrow, and looked slightly mortified. I think he might have not been paying attention when I introduced her at the announcement –he hadn't a clue as to who she was.

I smiled, satisfied and on the verge of bursting out laughing at the priceless look on his face. Maybe he might not bother me after this… or maybe not. It was a useless hope.

Josie stepped away from him some more, bringing me with her, and then we began dancing almost maniacally. I laughed and let her show me how to dance unwillingly, falling a couple of times if someone happened to bump into me which people often did. Random people even came up to me sometimes to dance, but I only shunned them. I saw Taylor leave sort of shamefaced with Kayla a few minutes after I'd said I was going to dance with Josie.

Kayla glared at me. I wondered when she was finally going to get the nerve to walk right up to me and 'back off'.

Suddenly Chris walked right up behind Josie and kissed her on the cheek discreetly. She giggled and turned around to hug him. I smiled –it was good to see _both_ of them happy.

"Hey hun… hey Marie," He said cheerily. I nodded an acknowledgement and he smiled back.

"So may I ask what you two are doing here?"

I paused for a moment, not really sure on what I wanted to say.

"Uhh… well some people dragged me down here. And then Josie showed up and saved me." She winked and grinned before looking up at Chris.

He raised an eyebrow, slightly questioning, but let the matter go.

"So… do you want me to get you guys a drink or anything?"

Josie nodded, her index finger under her chin, looking up at the ceiling as her lips puckered –thinking.

"If you don't mind, can you get me a strawberry martini?" He smiled and nodded.

"Sure. And can I get something for you, Marie?"

I shook my head, biting the inside of my cheek.

"No that's all right. I don't really want anything."

"Are you sure? Not anything at all? I can surprise you with something if you want."

I shook my head once more and Josie looked kind of sceptical and questioning while Chris nodded and walked to the bar. She leaned in to speak as there was a pause in between songs.

"Have you ever had a drink _ever_,Marie?"

I sheepishly shook my head, not understanding why I kind of felt embarrassed about this.

Josie's expression was very surprised.

"You should try one then! Especially the strawberry or blue raspberry martinis… Mmm, mmm, mmm they are truly yummy."

I laughed at her, until I felt a tap on my back again.

Speak of the devil –it was Kayla, here to tell me off. I could see it in her eyes. And why else would she ever talk directly to me?

"Marie, we need to talk." She muttered icily. I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes –she didn't faze me.

"What about." I asked monotonously back. I pretended to be oblivious to what she was talking about, although I definitely knew what was coming. I faintly remembered in the back of my head when Janet had told me to stay away from Damian. This was almost the same situation, I thought. I was also fairly nauseated remembering how Janet had gone after my Damian.

"You should know what. You like Taylor, and I don't like that one bit."

Yup. Almost the exact same words Janet had used.

"Kayla you have to know I have absolutely nothing to do with Taylor. I don't like him at all –he's the one always coming on to me. If I could command him to leave me alone, and start doing that to you, I would."

She looked dumbstruck –her eyes wide open in shock. It was the first look she'd given me that wasn't cruel.

"B-but… I thought you really liked him… how could you not like him…?"

I smiled at her. She apparently really, _really_ liked him.

"No, not at all… I've never liked him like that. He's a good friend –but I have another crush," I almost giggled at my own words. Damian was _much_ more than a crush.

She smiled, relieved, for the first time in my presence. It was almost shocking to me.

"…Well I'm sorry for my behaviour around you. I guess I've been acting like a love struck, jealous teenage kid. Can you forgive me so we can start over again?"

I nodded fairly numbly; kind of surprised she still didn't hate me. I thought her problem with me went farther than just Taylor, but apparently not. She could possibly be my friend now since that little problem was out of the way. Well, really everything wasn't totally solved. Taylor still had to lose all interest in me, and then go out with Kayla.

"Good –thank you. I was being stupid." I laughed lightly and smiled.

"It's all right –love is blinding, I know. I think you should go after him –say something to him. I'm sure he's been completely oblivious to your affection, too busy trying to get me and that I am sorry for, though I can't really help it. I don't know why he was even trying –why would he go after me anyway? You're a much better choice."

I actually meant this –I wasn't trying to suck up to her or anything. I didn't understand how Taylor could be _that_ ignorant. Kayla was obviously so in love with him, and I was pretty sure he was the only one that didn't know it.

She looked flattered and started moving nervously where she stood in front of me. She laughed shakily. It looked as if she wasn't used to getting compliments at all, or was just very tongue-tied when she received them.

"Umm… well… umm… It's nice of you to say that. But are you joking with me! I can see why he would want you rather than me. You're drop dead gorgeous."

It was my turn to feel sheepish and act awkwardly. I ran my hand through my hair and looked from her to the floor awkwardly. She laughed and I joined in unsteadily. Why was I hearing that from people all the time lately?

"Well I don't know about that… well anyway, are you going to stay and dance or are you leaving… maybe to talk to him?"

She tilted her head to the side slightly and thought for a moment.

"I think I'll go talk to him right now. I've been waiting for this for awhile, so the sooner the better. I wonder if he even has the faintest idea that I like him," She mused.

I shrugged and hoped he didn't. That would mean that he was just ignoring her.

She reached for my hand, as if to shake, but then gave a look to say 'screw it' and leaned in for a hug.

I patted her back and then she let go and disappeared.

Josie walked up and stood beside me, leaning her head and arm on my shoulder.

"What was that about…?" She murmured, sipping a drink she had in her hand.

"Umm nothing. Jut a little problem I had to deal with." Josie nodded and smiled almost sleepily. I frowned.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Uhh… sometimes these drinks have the opposite effect on me in the beginning. I'll be mellowed out for awhile, and then later I'll be coo-coo for cocoa-cocoa puffs."

I burst out laughing and she smiled languidly, her eyes drooping slightly.

"Does that happen to everyone?"

She shook her head slightly.

"Not really that I know of. But it's not really that big of a deal."

I nodded and chuckled at her.

"Well Chris told me he needed to talk to you… he's over there."

I frowned, confused. What would he need to talk to me about?

"Okay…" I murmured as Josie let me shrug out from underneath her arm and head, walking over to where she had pointed.

Chris awaited me, seemingly anxious as his toe tapped on the floor, but yet his entire stance was stony. Something was wrong.

I bumped into him, a half hearted smile on my face. He smiled happily back, and this really befuddled me.

"As I predicted Josie told you, we need to talk. Walk with me?" He raised an arm, and a bad sensation like an electric current shot through me. Something felt terribly wrong about this. But what, was the question.

I knew I could trust Chris now –he looked as if he were in love with Josie, just by the loving way he looked at her all the time, whenever I was around them. It really seemed like it, so I had nothing to be afraid of.

I took his arm.

And then he began to lead us out of the club, into the hallway, and along another one of the many other hallways. I didn't exactly know where he was taking me, but I didn't bother to pay attention nevertheless. All my interest was focused on him for now, awaiting him to speak, to know what was so important to talk with me about that he had to take us away from the club and Josie.

I noticed when he glanced at my wrist and let out a small gasp, his eyes going wide. He bit his lip. My brows furrowed further.

"What is it?"

"Oh nothing… I just remember him working on that." He nodded towards the bracelet, and a tiny smile appeared on my face.

"So what is so important that you need to talk with me about?"

"Well, do I really need a reason to talk to you anyway?"

Needless to say, that was just a tiny bit weird. And I still had that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.

But I smiled, looking up at him at any rate. I kept reassuring myself that it seemed as if his personality had done a complete flip and he was a whole different person now. Which of course, was not a bad thing. He had lusted after me for awhile, until Josie stepped in and told him off. And now they were starting to like each other, which made me really happy. I think we could maybe get along now. I would just have to see how it played out.

He smiled complacently back and took his arm away from mine, only to wrap it around my waist instead. I frowned.

What was he doing…? I wasn't comfortable letting anyone else but Damian and Kathy do that with me. I edged away uncomfortably, but something pulled me towards him and I didn't understand what was happening.

Then all of a sudden he pushed me up against the wall and kissed me hard, not giving me a chance to react. _What the…!_

I began to struggle violently, revolted and disgusted, trying to push him away and squirm away from him. But all failed. He was either stronger than me, or something else because I felt something attempting to possess me. Something that wasn't meant to be there.

He grabbed my hands and placed one in his hair and around him, and somehow they locked there. I was petrified –I didn't have control of myself. No matter how hard I tried to move my arms and legs, I stayed locked there as he continued to kiss me lustfully.

_Marie…? _

I heard my name called in my head and I almost froze in my vain struggle to get free. Damian. My eyes shifted to see him at the end of the hallway, walking with Nathaniel.

_Damian! Help me, I don't know what's happening, get me out of here, I need help now! Chris is controlling me somehow! _

But I heard no reply as I continued to scream in my head. My eyes widened further if that was possible. _Something was wrong._

He continued walking down the hallway, not taking a second glance at us. His face, his eyes were hard. That was a sign of major repressed emotion, if I knew him well, which I did.

That wasn't the biggest indicator something was wrong. I couldn't hear his thoughts. Not one whisper, like I would have before, could be heard. All I had was my own thoughts.

I felt desolate –disconnected. I started to freak out, my thoughts becoming erratic before they became livid –almost to the point where I was hysterical. I needed to get to him. I needed to get away from Chris and get to Damian, to explain, to ask questions of my own. This wasn't my fault. I'd thought Chris had changed, but apparently not. All I wanted to do was run into Damian's arms right now, and for him to never let me go.

I glared into Chris's eyes, and he began to slow down as Damian neared the end of the hall and then turned the corner.

Then his eyes widened, horrified, and he began to back up as he stared into my eyes as I was glowering at him. Suddenly he crumpled onto the ground, holding his head and grimacing awfully. Something possessed me. I felt this blank, emotionless blanket sweep over me and I felt light headed.

"Stop… Stop! Mother, brother, don't go! Leave me alone, stop hurting me…! Damian! Help!" He started to yell, and then got louder, screaming incomprehensible things that did not make sense to me.

I continued to stare at him emotionlessly until the powerful urge to find Damian took over instead.

His screaming stopped as soon as I'd taken my attention off of him, and I still felt light headed. Chris finally came out of his trance to stare at me wide-eyed. I glared at him balefully. I had one last thing to say to him… or rather, ask him maliciously.

"_What is your problem?_ I thought you loved Josie!"

He looked away, almost looking as if he were shamefaced. I gritted my teeth as I continued to glare at him.

"I don't understand what is going on in your head! You should know I'm definitely not the person you should be going after. Especially since I'm with you're brother, and I don't even know how _he_ loves me… I hope you're happy with yourself."

I whispered the last few sentences so only he could hear. He still looked away, to the ground, his golden locks obscuring my view of his eyes.

Then completely forgetting about Chris, the urge to see Damian too great, I ran at full speed down the hall, trying to find him. I didn't know what had just happened. And to tell the truth, I really wasn't at all concerned about it right now. All I cared about was trying to find him.

But I couldn't sense him. I couldn't smell him. It felt like he had disappeared off the face of the earth, and a shudder ran down my spine. I shook my head, eyes wide, and began to make my way back to my dorm. Maybe he was there. _Hopefully_ he was there.

I was in the dorm within seconds, and Kathy was sitting on the couch anxiously. She held up an envelope sullenly.

I think my face drained, and I walked over on unsteady legs to retrieve it. Time slowed down in my stunned state.

"I didn't open it. But Damian dropped by and asked me to give this to you. He seemed … off. Is everything okay?"

I inclined my head only slightly and sat down on the couch. I took a long look at the front of it. It was blank –addressed to no one. I had to take a deep breath before I exhaled shakily and opened the envelope. One side had Marie printed on it in neat script. It took all of my will power to open the note.

Marie,

Meet me outside tonight at the gates of the school. I will be waiting around midnight. See you there.

-Damian

I set it down, almost feeling numb. I didn't know what to think anymore. Why would he want to meet me there? Why couldn't I go talk to him now? And was it about Chris?

I flinched, beginning to get paranoid.

How had everything turned bad so quickly?

"Marie… seriously, is everything all right?" She asked worriedly. I knew she could sense something. And I grimaced, looking away for a second before I composed myself. I would not let her in on anything. I had a bad feeling, and I didn't want her to feel that too, which is what would happen if I did tell her.

She was leaning towards me anxiously, her eyes concerned as I turned back to her.

I plastered a smile on my face, and looked her in the eyes, my expression light-hearted.

"No, nothing's wrong Kathy. He told me to meet him somewhere tonight, and I'm sure he's just going to surprise me with something. He knows how I hate surprises, and he's probably just bugging me…"

Kathy didn't look totally satisfied and convinced, but she responded with a smile and a roll of the eyes anyway. I could tell she definitely wanted to believe the little white lie.

"Yah probably…" She laughed, sounding relieved. I nodded, keeping the smile on my face painstakingly, feeling very pained and paranoid. Huh. I guess I was a pretty good actress when I needed to be, because apparently I'd effectively distracted Kathy from how I was really feeling. We began talking, and it took a huge chunk out of my night which I was thankful for. I joined as enthusiastically as I possibly could.

The less time I had to think about what was coming, the less time I would have to worry. I had an extremely bad feeling about this though.

What seemed like minutes later to me, Kathy glanced outside and then at the clock. Her eyebrows rose as she noticed the time.

"Oh my, Marie! We should get you ready." I was starting to feel even more queasy and dejected when I also realized what time it was.

"I don't need to get ready for anything Kathy… I can go as I am." I had a feeling I wouldn't need to dress up or anything of the sort. It felt like there was ice in the pit of my stomach.

"Nonsense! We have to get you all prettied up for him –not that you aren't already," She added at the end contritely. I laughed with dark humour and shrugged my shoulders. Why not?

She beamed and dragged me over to her closet, where she picked out one of her dresses that she said she thought would look 'just darling on me'. I merely chuckled and put it on without any further complaint. Good thing she hadn't wanted to do my hair or anything else –I think that might have been over the top for me.

Pulling me in for a hug, she whispered, "Have a good night…!" in a very provocative, leading on tone. I smiled only slightly for her benefit and nodded.

And then feeling as if my heart was in my throat, and a terrible feeling in the pit in my stomach, I left the room, and then quickly the school all together.

I walked down the gravely driveway until I reached the gates, where he leaned up against a granite pole of the gates. His face was completely emotionless and I still couldn't hear his thoughts. I swallowed hard before I advanced. I didn't go up and hug him like I would have before… _Chris_. I really hated him now. And I had no idea how he'd done that to me, or how I'd done that to him, but I purposely took my mind off that for now. Since I could not hear his thoughts I would have to pay more attention to understand what he was thinking.

I stopped in front of him, and we stared at each other for a moment until he finally held out his hand for me. I could tell something was definitely wrong. But why wouldn't there be? He'd seen me kissing his brother, unwillingly on my part. We were probably only going to talk things over.

Taking his hand, he began to lead me into the trees. We sauntered through the trees silently until we reached what looked like a beach. The sand was illuminated slightly by the faint moonlight, and same went for the blue water. It looked almost unreal. I had to ask myself how these places were never discovered. Little pieces of heaven were scattered around the earth, waiting always for someone to find them. Damian had found a lot of them apparently.

We sat down wordlessly, Damian staring up at the star-scattered sky while I watched him.

A few moments later he sighed.

"Damian I'm sorry…–" He cut me off before I could say anymore.

"No, don't be sorry Marie. I should be the one who is sorry –I should've known this would never work out. I shouldn't have let this drag out so long."

My eyes widened and I straightened up, looking at him full on now.

"Don't say that! I'm sorry…! You never told me Christopher had a power. He trapped me there and… and…" I began to choke and Damian stared at me indifferently.

"It's not just about that Marie. We can't be together in the first place. It's better if we just stop here –I will not ruin your future with this. You're well aware that Nathaniel will kill us both if he figures out that we are in a relationship together. I will not let that happen."

I was stunned, my eyes wide, trying not to let my jaw drop. He stared me in the eyes as I tried to make myself speak. I felt desolate and floundered.

"But… I thought we were mates? Mates can't be separated…"

"Yes they can –if they can cut off the connection. That's why you can't hear my thoughts anymore. I broke the connection."

I was completely bewildered and horrified.

"How…?" I meant how had he been able to cut off the connection and I guess he understood instantly.

"The only way you can cut off the connection is if you don't love the person and you are absolutely positive that they don't love you back. It's all right Marie. You can be with Christopher if you want; I'm not holding you back."

"Damian! You should know I love you with my whole being. I still love you, like I always have and always will!"

He looked away.

"Is what you've based the theory of me not loving you on what you saw earlier? Because Chris pinned me to the wall and I fought my hardest to get out of his grip. But some kind of power overwhelmed me and I couldn't move. He forced me into that position, you have to believe me!"

I took his shoulders, forcing him to look up at me. He paused for a second.

"Maybe that was the force of your subconscious, telling you what you really wanted."

I shook my head violently.

"You know that's not true. I love you and only you, _as I always have_."

"But I… I don't love you. You're a good friend Marie… But I don't think we were ever meant to be. I will always love you as just a friend," His voice was very conclusive as he took my frozen hands gently off his shoulders, paused for a moment, and then set them down lightly on my own lap.

I stared at him, now expressionless. So this was it. This was the end of our forever.

He stared right back, and it looked as if he had a tiny bit of concern in his hard emerald eyes. We remained silent for awhile, just staring at each other. His face gave nothing away. There was no hint of regret. He meant this undeniably. This was too much –I couldn't take it anymore.

I started to shake.

"Do you want me to leave?"

I nodded dully. In any other case I wouldn't want him to leave for anything, but I needed to vent… and not in front of anyone –especially him. I felt the tears dewing in my eyes, and that's probably what alarmed him. I looked away as he got up, and stared at me a moment longer. And then he vanished, leaving me in peace to collapse in the sand and clench my arms around my stomach, half-gasping.

It was over. Everything was over. He didn't love me anymore… I wondered if he ever did, and had just stayed with me to make me feel better.

I curled in on myself and tried to stop the ripping, aching sensation in my chest, letting one painful tear fall, turning the sand a reflective blue colour.

I gripped at the sand, not able to stop the awful sensation reverberating in me. I'd never experienced anything so painful. It might've even been worse than my transformation.

I was being a little irrational maybe.

It's not like he was dead. It's not like he was gone forever. And that was enough to get me by.

But the fact that he didn't love me, like I still loved him, tore at me inside. Maybe he was right. Maybe we were never supposed to be together. I was extremely selfish to ever think this could have worked. He was too good for me. I'd known it all along, and it was a good thing he realized it early so he could move on in his life quickly.

I watched as light ripples of unbelievably blue water swept onto the sand, getting closer with each small wave.

This was the end of living for me. He left me lifeless.


	22. False Alert! Author's Alert! sorry :P

Okeyyy, here's the dealio my home skillin biscuits. I'm sorry I haven't updated this for awhile, and here's the reason why. I wanted to get this published, and I couldn't have all the chapters on the internet where everyone could read it if I wanted to publish it right? But anyway… you know what? I didn't get any responses… sad face :( sucks to be me but whateva. I know you ladies and gents out there wanna probably rip my head off but I don't care .. no not really, I feel sarcastic and am particularly enjoying rambling tonight sorry… But anyway I'm not going to make you guys suffer anymore XD I'm posting the last few chapters tonight, so I hope you enjoy. And pwease, check out my other idea Crossover. I have a good feeling that it will be better than this story, though I have to work on the beginning a bit cause I wrote it awhile ago… so yah. Check it out, tell me what you think, and just to let you know I started the second book after this one… To Ashes. I'm going to be posting the next few chapters of that soon as well, because I can't leave you guys hanging too long with the ending of this book. You'll see why. Mmmmmk, till next time goodbye ladies and gentlemen!

-jesca :3


	23. Chapter 22: Like the Old Days

Chp 22: Like the Old Days

I was sprawled out, laying on the sand for awhile, trying to pull myself together.

I realized I couldn't let Kathy know. She would only make a huge deal out of it, make me feel worse, and probably bother Damian over it.

My life had been irreversibly changed by him… now; I didn't know how I would be able to live without him. It felt more terrible than ever –I didn't know how I had been able to stand it before.

The sun started to rise higher and higher in the sky and the moon began to disappear.

I let out a few more dry sobs, but did not cry. I hadn't cried yet.

I had to go back now. I think I must have blanked out for a period of time, emotionless, retreating into a corner of my mind.

Slowly, I pushed myself up off the ground. I really had to pretend everything was all right, though nothing was. It felt like nothing ever would be again.

I ghosted through the forest once more, trapped in a detached state. If I could stay like this, I would be fine. _This is just like the old days,_ I thought almost mordantly in my head.

As I made my way to the school and up the stairs to my dorm, I attempted to put a grin on my face, as if to say I'd had a good night instead of the awful night I'd really had.

Once I reached my dorm and opened the door Kathy was right there, sitting on the couch, waiting for me. Her expression was slightly confused since she did not see him with me, yet excited.

"So… how was your night Marie?" She asked cheekily, a big grin on her face while her dark doe-like eyes remained slightly puzzled.

"It was amazing," I replied brightly. I don't think it was possible to die a little more inside.

"Well that's good to hear… Do you want to tell me any details?" She beamed, raising her eyebrows.

I laughed, hoping that it sounded realistic and convincing, and then shook my head, pushing her playfully.

"Come on, we have to get to class," She giggled and rolled her eyes, bustling me over to the bathroom and grabbing me a fresh uniform for me on my way in.

"Get ready quickly, you little mischievous thing," I thought I should have laughed but I didn't. I just continued to put on my fresh clothes and put the dress in the hamper. I felt nothing –which was good. I wouldn't be able to feel the rippling pain that would probably end up making me have a break down, causing a scene in front of everyone.

As soon as I was out, Kathy pulled me by my arm out of the room and down the hallways to our class. She seemed to have a tendency to do that to everyone she was walking with I guessed.

She pestered me the whole way there and most of class, asking for at least one little tiny detail from last night. I didn't tell her anything, and tried to act like everything was perfectly normal, a giddy smile on my face.

It was fairly hard to accomplish acting happy when actually you were the exact opposite, especially for an extended period of time. And though it was tough to act everything out on my part, I knew my life would be a little less miserable if I didn't alert anyone, especially Kathy, to my unhappiness and the fact that Damian and I were no longer together. Things like that always sent twinges of pain all over, or even sometimes like someone had punched me in the gut, knocked the wind out of me.

I'd been pretending for awhile now. And I didn't know when it would stop, or if I ever would stop. Maybe I would have to carry this out for awhile, which didn't really particularly sound appealing. I 'went out with Damian' every night, and what I really did was go hunting by myself and then go o patrol by myself. I was sure he was out there somewhere, also looking for werewolves but certainly not doing it with me. We hadn't said a word to each other since that night… and it was torture for me.

Now, I was in class. And it was almost the end of the class when I began thinking about certain things –again. Kathy had gone to work with someone for a moment, so I finally had some time to myself –to be my dejected, broken self.

I touched the bracelet I still wore on my wrist. I'd been contemplating about giving it back.

I knew it would be the right thing to do, but it hurt me to even think about it –it ripped on the still fresh wound in my chest. A twinge of pain, physical and emotional, reverberated through my chest and I leaned over onto the desk, hiding my face.

There was nothing I could do to change his mind so there was no point in trying to reason with him, or even weep over this anymore.

Someone nudged my arm.

"Marie? Are you okay? It's the end of class," Kathy. I sighed, and spread a fake warm smile across my face.

"Yah, I'm sorry… I was just really bored and rested my head on the desk for awhile,"

She rolled her eyes, nodding in understanding.

"I can relate to that. This has to be one of the most boring classes besides basics. We already know everything! I'm considering dropping it, or skipping every class at least. I'm sick of it,"

I laughed correspondingly and picked up my books, following her out of the classroom.

I went through everything else, sat through the rest of classes very numbly. Whenever I was approached by someone or when someone decided to talk to me I put my best effort into acting the way I normally did. It was really very mentally exhausting –by the time I was done with my last class, I was extremely relieved. I only had to convince Kathy and Will I was all right now.

I ran out of the class faster than everyone else, not really wanting to be stopped and chatted to, and pretty much jogged at a steady pace down the hallways.

But suddenly I heard fast approaching footsteps, and with no warning, an arm wrap around my waist to stop me. I flinched awfully, and turned around to see Chris.

I stepped away from him, looking at the floor, and wondering vaguely why he chose to speak to me now, after everything had passed. There was an extremely silent pause before I decided to speak since he would not –not even our breathing could be heard.

"…What do you want Chris?" I asked him in a very dull, mellowed out tone. It took a moment more for him to answer me, and I looked up at him expectantly. I think my tone and stance alarmed him –his eyes were fairly wide as he watched me.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry… and everything is not what you think."

A part of me wanted to scream and yell at him, telling him to save it and that I hoped he was happy in what he accomplished –ripping me and _him _apart. But a larger part wanted to remain emotionless.

As I thought that, it felt as if a dull, rusty blade had just been thrust and twisted into my stomach. I looked away, not wanting him to see the pain in my eyes.

"All right. Is that all?"

He still seemed almost traumatized as he nodded.

"Yes… yah that is all I guess…" He mumbled, his expression a myriad of emotion –misery, confusion, self questioning…

"Okay. Good afternoon Chris," I mumbled, turning away from him and sauntered down the hallway. All I could think of for a moment, was I'd never seen him so shaken… except that one time when… My eyes popped open wide as I remembered something that I'd shoved aside during more important past events.

How had I scared him so when I glared at him after the last time he kissed me? He started screaming incomprehensible things that had nothing to do with the situation we were in. Had I… used a power? Had I found what I was capable of?

Though I didn't know what exactly it was at all. Maybe it had been a fluke. But what I did know is that I would eventually test it out… find out if it was actually a 'power' and what exactly it did. Chris had definitely seen or remembered something awful. I just had to figure out if it was my doing.

When I was fairly close to the door I practiced keeping a smile on my face, and when I was in the dorm I thought it was passable. Apparently it was because Kathy smiled wider back and ran over to give me a hug.

She seemed in an exceptionally good mood, unlike me. I wasn't in any kind of mood.

"So what do you want to do tonight, huh? I was thinking we could watch a move before you and Damian go out hunting –he asked me and Will to cover for you for the last part of your shift tonight so you could have some alone time."

I blinked a couple times, and then frowned, not able to understand what she meant. _Damian and I were still going hunting together? And he had actually said something to Kathy about tonight? _

She frowned also, not understanding what my puzzled expression meant.

"Do you not want to watch a movie, or…?"

I shook my head, my eyes widening as I cleared my head.

"Oh sorry… Uh, no that sounds great. What do you have in mind?"

The frown disappeared off her face and she beamed widely, taking my hand to lead me over to the couch.

The whole time I was mystified and baffled that apparently Damian and I were still going hunting together. I knew she knew he was definitely coming tonight because he had apparently asked her earlier today if they would switch on earlier to give us some time together. This really made me confused, and that was the main point my thoughts floated around while I was watching the movie. To prove that I was paying attention to Kathy, I laughed at the parts she laughed at, and other things to…

Kathy hustled me into the bathroom after the movie was over, making me change into something she thought suitable, and then suddenly there was a knock at the door.

I froze up momentarily, shocked that he actually showed up, and Kathy grinned and giggled, pulling me out of the bathroom after her.

"She'll be out in a minute Damian," She called as she all of a sudden pulled a compact makeup kit. I rolled my eyes, almost mortified. I didn't need anything for the night ahead of me. It's not like I was trying to woo him at all –impress him in any way. He'd made it clear I was nothing but a friend.

She applied eye shadow and eyeliner quickly, and then pushed me towards the door without giving me a chance to look in the tiny mirror. She was probably giddy for me.

I took a deep breath and held it as I went to open the door.

And then I saw him. He stood casually in front of the door, staring at me with what looked like smouldering eyes partially underneath his lashes.

I gasped at the sight of him. I hadn't seen him even since then –which felt like a lifetime to me. And the sight of him now was almost more than I could handle. But more than that, I could sense and see that he seemed… desolate. Like he wasn't all there. It was apparent that he didn't dress the same way he had before –all proper, neat and tidy. His hair was somewhat of a mess, and his tie hung extremely loose from his neck; something he never let happen, ever. And his shirt was also was slack, and the jacket that was over top of it was the same. I'd never ever seen him like this, but just the mere sight of him felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart.

I grimaced and hunched over, rippling intense pain resonating everywhere but mainly in my chest.

Suddenly I felt the light touch of someone's hands on my back, though not the hands I desperately yearned for.

"Marie! Are you okay?" Kathy asked me anxiously, as I tried to pull myself together. _Think happy thoughts, _I muttered to myself morbidly in my head. As if there were any happy thoughts left.

The pain slowly began to ebb and I stood up, still clutching around my ribs with one arm. I smiled grimly at Kathy; my attempt at a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine –don't worry. I think I just need to hunt."

Kathy regarded me sceptically, but nevertheless put a tiny smile on her concerned face and waved goodbye to me, walking back to the couch and Will.

I turned back to Damian. He still stood, watching me with an indifferent, cold expression. I swallowed hard, getting rid of the lump in my throat and stepped out the door, closing it firmly behind me. I may have taken a little more time than normal in doing this –I was trying to control myself, trying not to break down.

And then we began walking slowly down the hall, presumably towards the garage. I wasn't paying attention to anything but him, though I barely looked at him. It was too much –an overload. Every time I was close to him, I had this sense that he was there, and my skin tingled with hypersensitivity when he was around. It was heightened more so when I hadn't seen him for awhile. I was as accustomed to it as I had been before, since I had been with him so much before.

But I couldn't help asking a question that had been bugging me for a bit now.

"Why are you here and taking me out?" I murmured , feeling almost bashful. I felt like kicking myself in the head for even talking to him.

"What –am I not allowed to be here, to talk to you?"

I remained silent, still awfully confused. Why now did he all of a sudden decide to go hunting with me again?

We made it down to the garage and to his car. And I still felt so confused and thought myself a disgrace to even be talking to him still, though I knew this was not my fault really whatsoever.

I bit my lip and paused as he opened the door to his car on the drivers' side for himself.

He glanced at me quizzically.

"Aren't you getting in?"

I glanced away at the damp-looking pavement, wanting to become detached again.

"Why should I anyway? I'll go by myself later. You don't want me to come anyhow; I can tell. I'll go hunting right now, so I guess I'll see ya."

I mumbled my sentence, looking at the ground. As much as I wanted to be around him, it was much safer and better if I just left him alone.

I turned to run out the garage entrance, but was suddenly seized by the arm.

He spun me around so I was facing him –he looked into my eyes intensely.

"Just come with me. I don't want you to think that we can't even be friends, and you leaving will only make your view of this situation worse."

I sighed hard as I looked at him.

It wouldn't make the situation worse… it would make me have to use more effort to be around him for a long period of time. I felt as if I was going to crack and go insane right there. Everything was just _too much_…

He opened my door for me, and helped me step in. I didn't feel right being with him anymore. He did not love me… and I still loved him. Like I probably always would. And just because of that, I felt as if I shouldn't be allowed near him.

We pulled out of the garage, drove down the gravely driveway and then turned onto the road.

The first thing we did when we were away far enough was to go hunting. At first, when we parked outside the forest, I didn't know if I wanted to go. Again.

I walked up to a tree trunk as he took off into the trees, probably assuming that I would be hunting as well.

I pushed back my hair from my face. Maybe I was being a baby about things, but I couldn't stand to be around him without wanting him. This hurt me a lot inside.

An animal tempted me for a moment before I decided I really didn't need to hunt. I had hunted last night.

He wasn't back for a bit. Which meant he hadn't clued in that I was not going with him, or did not care. I thought about just leaving and running back to the school, but eventually he would be there too. I couldn't really run from my problems… he would find me again.

Suddenly he appeared beside me, looking down at me as I sat against the tree. He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning down to extend an arm to me.

I just looked at him for a moment.

He grimaced.

"Am I going to have to catch something for you?"

I gave him another look and took his hand, my skin tingling as it came in contact with his.

He made me go catch at least one doe before he allowed me back in the car, and we were on our way to the werewolf hunting grounds. I _still _hadn't seen a werewolf, though in the basics class we learned about them all the time; preparing. No one else even mentioned their hunting experiences –it was sort of kept private. Or maybe I didn't hang out with the right crowd to know about these things.

Now we were driving down a rough dirt road.

He gripped the steering wheel; his knuckles a milkier white than his skin itself, as he stared out the windshield, his expression rather hard.

I was still very confused and mellow about this whole situation. He still wanted to go hunting for werewolves together after what happened… I was surprised he even wanted to talk to me, to be in the same room with me, and he was now sitting in the car with me, on our way to werewolf patrol.

We mostly remained quiet for the drive, but halfway through the drive surprisingly, he spoke. I was momentarily stunned before I slipped back into the numbness.

"… Why aren't you angry with me?"

I turned my head from the window to look at him slightly.

"What do you mean?" I asked monotonously. His frown deepened.

"Why aren't you and Kathy patronizing me –saying things about me, or doing anything out of spite towards me?"

I could tell he was putting more emphasis on Kathy. I leaned my head back on the seat more, looking out the window instead of directly at him.

"Damian… you should know me better than that. Do you really think I would ever do something like that to you… or let Kathy bug you about it?"

He looked at me patronizingly and disbelievingly. I knew what he thought… I wouldn't be able to stop Kathy's attacks on him even if I wanted to. So he probably knew then that I'd never told Kathy or anyone about it if he didn't already know it in the back of his mind.

"But why?"

I thought for only a moment before answering.

"I would never do anything like that to you because I'm just not like that. I'm not that stupid to do that –what good would it do? There's no point to it. It would only hurt us both more."

There were a couple parts I left out –like how I cared about him still too much to make him feel bad about everything, and doing that would only drive us further apart. I wouldn't want to shatter anything we had left –which was really nothing in the first place. If I did that it would only make him hate me more –thus, the reason there was no point in it.

I saw him flinch slightly and I looked away out the window again, wanting this conversation to end. But luck apparently was never ever on my side.

"… Tell me one more thing." I peeked at him from the corner or my eyes as he murmured that, and sighed, closing my eyes as an agreement.

"Why did you give up right away when I told you I didn't love you? Why didn't you put up a fight?"

Maybe he thought most people would've put up a fight. And that's why he thought it was peculiar I was immediately shut down when he told me that. I sighed once more. Well I guessed he deserved to know. He should know it anyway.

"I was lucky to have you in the first place Damian. I knew you were better than me, more than I deserved the whole time, and I still do believe that. You are better than I ever will be. It was a good thing you realized that before you got too much deeper with me. You can still have a life."

In my peripheral vision I saw him flinch harsher than the last time. Oops… I'd made him feel bad. But oh well. He shouldn't pity me anyway –he had no reason to.

I started fiddling at my wrist, and I watched as his eyes were immediately drawn to what I was unclasping on my wrist.

I raised an eyebrow as he hand shot out to stop me.

"It's really yours." He shook his head.

"No –I gave it to you. I'm not about to take it back."

"I wouldn't feel right keeping it Damian. Take it back –it's yours to do whatever you please with it."

He shook his head more seriously, so I had to resort to saying more serious things.

"Give it to that special someone someday."

A grimace appeared on his face as I said that and he shook his head more vehemently.

"I gave it to you Marie. It was a gift –you're not supposed to take back a _gift_. Just keep it."

I gave up with a huff, almost glaring out the window. Well, it _felt_ like I was glaring. But really the reflection in the window showed a girl with a face as blank as a slate. I saw the frown retain on his face.


	24. Chapter 23: The Only Way

Chp23**: **The Only Way

_**Damian **_

I was seriously a mess.

Since that night I… _hurt her_… I was a complete wreck. True, Chris had told me why he had done what he had done later on, but I still felt awful. Every second I knew that I had hurt her, and couldn't be with her, was torture.

Now, I was walking towards her dorm, expecting her to come with me to hunt. I had asked Kathy to cover for us later in the night, and she had agreed cordially, as giddy about anything as ever, so I suspected Marie hadn't said anything to Kathy about _that_ night. A shudder ran through me just thinking about it. It had to have been the worst thing I had ever done… or possibly would ever do.

This would be very unexpected for her, and I felt horrible. I shouldn't be allowed near her to hurt her again. But I couldn't help yearning for her presence.

I arrived at her door, and could hear a slight shuffling inside. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, collecting myself and putting on a poker face, I knocked on the door.

All noise ceased for a moment before the shuffling on the floor started again, and Kathy announced boisterously, "She'll be out in a minute Damian,"

Anticipation and adrenaline ran through my veins.

I hadn't seen her for days. It was too long for me to handle. But I would have to get used to it anyway… since I would be leaving soon. Everything was wrecked because of Chris's plan… but I admitted it was absolutely necessary; otherwise I would never go through with it.

Then all of a sudden the door opened. And I saw her –Marie.

She looked blank.

Her face held no emotion, though she had deep bags underneath her eyes which I didn't like seeing one bit. Her eyes were empty –as if no soul inhabited her body. I shuddered discreetly, internally horrified. She was almost like this in the beginning …when I had first met her; a broken spirit. But she seemed worse now.

It was probably because of me.

She most likely hated me even more, and she probably didn't like seeing me here in the least.

Well, it was just as well. I wasn't good enough to have her anyway. She could find someone better eventually, after everything was settled. I knew from the second that Chris had explained himself that she would probably not take me back at the end of this ordeal. But I couldn't help myself aching to have her. She was a part of me now.

Suddenly I heard a tiny gasp escape her lips as she clutched her chest and sides with wide eyes. Within seconds she had her head bowed and she fell to the floor on her knees, gripping her chest and from what I could see only momentarily, a torturous pained expression on her face.

It felt as if I were being lashed severely as I resisted the urge to kneel down beside her and wrap my arms around her. It hurt me to no end to see her like that and to choose not to do anything but watch her suffer. It frustrated me immensely that I couldn't look into her head anymore to see what exactly was wrong with her.

Kathy had crossed the room and knelt down beside her in a heartbeat, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. She really was a great friend to her.

"Marie! Are you okay?"

A moment passed until Marie started to get up, grimacing, an arm still grasped around her ribs.

She attempted to smile at Kathy as she murmured, "I'm fine –don't worry. I think I just need to hunt."

Kathy shot her a disbelieving look, but smiled slightly anyway. I didn't know if I really believed her, but what else could be wrong?

She waved and left us alone, walking back to William who sat on the couch.

I heard her swallow quietly before she stepped out the door and closed it securely.

We continued to walk down the hallway, towards my car. I had no idea what to say really, though I desperately wanted her to speak. I missed the alluring, lulling tone to her voice.

But I didn't have to wait for too long before she spoke.

"Why are you taking me out?" She mumbled almost incomprehensibly under her breath. Her voice gave me somewhat of a release, even if her sentence had been short and her voice monotonous. It was quite apparent that she didn't want to be here with me. She was fairly tense, and just the way she spoke told me how she was feeling.

"What –am I not allowed to be here, to talk to you?" I tried to keep calm, and a collected façade in place. I had to make this work, no matter how hard it was for me. I would make her safe, and I had to put my full trust in Kathy and Will to keep her safe until I came back for her… and soon after that, everyone else.

She was silent after that as we continued to walk. It was unsettling to me for some reason.

When we finally arrived in the garage and I walked over to my side of the car, and didn't bother to open her door for her because I was trying to act like I was cold and cut off, she paused a couple feet away from the car.

I looked at her, puzzled, wondering what she was doing. All I could come up with was that she was resisting. And that she should. But I couldn't let it happen anyway. She was going to come with me no matter what. This, sadly, needed to happen.

"Aren't you getting in?"

She looked away, everything about her still dejected.

"Why should I anyway? I'll go by myself later. You don't want me to come anyhow; I can tell. I'll go hunting right now, so I guess I'll see ya."

I was instantly beside her, my hand shot out and snatched her wrist before she could move too much. I looked into her eyes, willing her to stop.

"Just come with me. I don't want you to think that we can't even be friends, and you leaving will only make your view of this situation worse."

She sighed roughly and stared at me… or, rather, almost glared at me. I remembered a time like this, so long ago now… I wasn't used to seeing her glare at me anymore.

I only proceeded in opening the door and helping her step in, as I should have in the first place. She settled into the seat, still pretty rigid as she put on her seatbelt. I sighed unnoticeably and shut the door, walking over to the drivers' side.

We drove for a bit till we reached the forest where we normally hunted. She still remained quiet, and once we got out of the car, straggled a little bit behind me as I took long strides into the forest. I kept reminding myself to try to avoid any contact with her when I could, though I wanted to just be with her.

I sensed she wasn't with me anymore when I walked further in. I exhaled, worn. I wanted to go back to get her… but I would wait for a moment. She probably wanted a moment away from me… probably to think.

Closing my eyes, I scanned the woods for a deer, lynx, bear… I hadn't had been hunting since that night really. And I had some time to kill before I should go back to her.

Suddenly I locked in on a scent and let the instincts take over, taking off in the direction of the black bear I'd just found.

Once I was finished, I decided I'd taken enough time, and ran back towards the car.

I found her slouched up against a tree trunk, her face as indifferent as ever. I stepped up and leaned against the tree, looking down at her. Once she sensed my presence her eyes shifted in my direction.

I sighed, bending over slightly to hold my hand out for her.

She only stared at me, and I frowned, slightly exasperated.

"Am I going to have to catch something for you?"

She looked at me a moment longer before she sighed and took my hand, getting up.

I asked her to catch at least one animal before we left, off to my doom.

She agreed, obviously unwilling, and took off anyway. Moments later she appeared again, barely any blood staining her shirt. She was learning.

We got back into the car and began driving towards our next hunting ground. She still wasn't any less tense. And I still wasn't anticipating what came next any less either. I hated acting like this to her when all I wanted to do was tell her everything I had said before was a lie.

When we were almost there, I had a question to ask her, despite what my mission was right now; to be apathetic to her.

I really wondered why she hadn't told Kathy, though I knew it was probably because Kathy would make a big deal of it. I just wanted to know for sure… or maybe I just wanted to hear her voice.

"… Why aren't you angry with me?"

She glanced at me, with somewhat of a questioning look in her own eyes.

"What do you mean?" Her voice matched her stance. My brow furrowed further.

"Why aren't you and Kathy patronizing me –saying things about me, or doing anything out of spite towards me?"

She shifted in her seat, not exactly looking at me anymore but out the window blankly. Her lips barely moved as she murmured her sentence quietly.

"Damian… you should know me better than that. Do you really think I would ever do something like that to you… or let Kathy bug you about it?"

She was trying to give me the idea that she had told Kathy about it… and that she was stopping attacks that Kathy would undoubtedly give me if she knew.

I gave her a sceptical look. And she looked almost embarrassed, though she still seemed indifferent beyond repair.

"But why?"

She paused for a moment.

"I would never do anything like that to you because I'm just not like that. I'm not that stupid to do that –what good would it do? There's no point to it. It would only hurt us both more."

This pierced me beyond belief. I felt so awful… I was a wretched person for everything that I had done to her; shown up into her life and changed her into one of us, constantly worrying her, hurting her. I loved her to no end but she deserved more than me, and what I'd done to her.

But I had one more question. God, I was masochistic.

"… Tell me one more thing."

She peeked at me from the corner of her eyes before she closed them and nodded, sighing. I wished so much that I could hear her thoughts –especially for this question that I really didn't know what to expect her to answer with.

"Why did you give up right away when I told you I didn't love you? Why didn't you put up a fight?"

I saw her face twist a little bit before the listless look dominated once again. Her eyes were wistful yet exhausted… worn and pained. It made me feel awful, but still it was better than seeing that desolate look in her eyes.

There was a silent moment… and then she spoke.

"I was lucky to have you in the first place Damian. I knew you were better than me, more than I deserved the whole time, and I still do believe that. You are better than I ever will be. It was a good thing you realized that before you got too much deeper with me. You can still have a life."

This was even worse than her last comment. I recoiled violently, and tried to keep my eyes on the road. How could she even say that? It was the complete opposite.

As much as I desperately wanted to argue with her, I clamped my mouth shut and stared out the windshield with hard eyes. _Want anymore punishment Damian? _I asked myself melancholically and acerbically.

Then I noticed in my peripheral vision what she was fidgeting with on her wrist. No –I wanted her to keep it. I couldn't stand it if she gave it back to me.

My hand jerked out to stop her as she tried to unfasten the bracelet. She raised an eyebrow.

"It's really yours." I shook my head, almost appalled.

"No –I gave it to you. I'm not about to take it back."

"I wouldn't feel right keeping it Damian. Take it back –it's yours to do whatever you please with it."

I shook my head more forcefully, and her face adopted a more serious, slightly devilish look. Nothing touched her eyes though. They were as emotionless as ever. Sometimes emotion showed through. More times than most, it didn't show through.

"Give it to that special someone someday."

I grimaced, shaking my head heatedly not trying to hide it at all… as if that would happen. She was my special someone that I would never get back. I tried to control my emotions so I wouldn't let anything else.

"I gave it to you Marie. It was a gift –you're not supposed to take back a _gift_. Just keep it."

She huffed, looking out the window, her arms crossing.

I continued to stare straight ahead, trying not to let what she had said bother me so much. It was unbearable, hearing this and just letting her getting away with saying it was torture. I absolutely could not believe she thought that.

We continued to drive until we reached the small city we would be patrolling tonight.

When we arrived at the alley we would start it she got out, her arms wrapped around her as if she were cold but I knew she wasn't. We were always cold, thus we were immune to what looked like the fairly cold weather out tonight.

I tried to remain in control of my emotions, but it was hard around her. I could tell a few things were slipping through. She was looking more and more confused every minute.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as we began to walk.

I was really sorry and tortured to do this, but it was the only way to save her. I wouldn't be going through with this if it weren't the only way. I just had to keep reminding myself that this separation wouldn't last forever. _Only a few weeks… Only a few weeks…_ It was what I knew this was going to do to her that was really making me reconsider. But I knew that I absolutely had to go through with it. _It's the only way… the _only_ way…_

I looked over at my beloved with woe in my eyes –I could feel it. She looked back at me confusedly. Her head tilted slightly, and she frowned at the emotion she didn't understand in my eyes. I could barely control it anymore.

"What's wrong, Damian?" She whispered.

I shook my head and made an attempt at smiling. I don't think it worked very well, because her expression didn't clear.

"I can sense something coming. It's not a big deal."

She looked away, eyes tortured, though she tried to hide it, and I winced despite my effort to keep _my_ emotions and reactions in check. I knew what I'd done to her…

She was probably confused right now, though I couldn't know for sure, why we were still on duty together, after what 'happened'. I was glad Chris told me why he had done it, and the intentions of why he had done it later. Because I had been plotting on how to rip his throat out for real.

And now our thoughts were kept silent from each other, and although that is what I wanted, I didn't want it at the same time. I missed her thoughts –her consciousness in my head. I knew this was all my fault, but I couldn't help but yearning. I missed her so much. And now she was going to believe that I died, hating her. It was none of her fault, none whatsoever… And I knew that. But I had to shut her down, and now I felt like a fire was burning and scorching my insides away.

The only thing I could do was pray that everything would turn out in the long run.

But I was just so desperate for her right now. And whatever I did, I could not let her know that.

"You don't need to be too worried… I can take care of it."

I was surprised she had the will to talk. I could tell how awful she felt… But I couldn't help asking myself, _when had I heard that before?_ with dark humour.

"I hope so…" I muttered under my breath. The confused expression returned to her face.

"What?"

"Nothing."

We continued walking down the alley. I saw the lamp ahead, where we were to meet Chris and his wolf buddies. It was good to have at least a few of them on our side. True, I'd killed them before, under orders like I usually was, but it seemed that they'd totally forgiven us. I would never kill another werewolf after this day, I'd sworn to myself. I didn't see the reason why we had to exterminate them. We could live in peace with them. All the vampire council wanted was to have complete power over the world, and that was not the way it should or would be. Humans have had control of the planet for longer than us; we've always been hiding in their shadow. They were here even before the wolves. It was not our right to take it away from them, and I would stop anyone who said different.

I could tell when she sensed something. I saw her arm instinctively twitch towards mine, and it sent a massive pain shooting through me. I tried desperately to snuff out the feelings, but it took an immense amount of effort.

It would take her longer to resist the urge to attack the wolves… it was in our instincts to attack them. Once you got older, you could hold off.

It took me even more effort to stop myself from holding her, so she would calm down. She was in attack mode –on edge.

And to tell the truth, I was a little on edge myself. I'd faked my death a few times before, but not for a reason as important as this.

The plan was that when Chris and the wolves came out, one of them would attack and 'kill' me. I would lose enough blood to be knocked out for awhile, so playing dead would be easy enough. Chris had turned to the 'bad' side, but he was actually doing me a favour that I would be forever grateful to him for. He was going to assist me in faking my death. Once I had lost enough blood, and had been knocked out so Marie thought I was dead –flinch- one of the wolves would carry me away and the others would swarm Marie. But before they could hurt her, which they wouldn't because I would actually rip their putrid throats out, I'd planned for Kathy and William to show up and scare them off. I didn't know if it was going to turn out exactly like that, but it would turn out something like that.

I'd said Marie and I were going to leave our shift early, and I'd asked if they could fill in for us. Kathy had agreed jovially, obviously thinking that Marie and I were going to do _something_. We'd managed to keep our separation a secret –I knew Marie didn't want someone constantly pitying her, and she it was so easy to know what Kathy was thinking –absolutely all her emotion showed on her face.

They obviously weren't in on it –only me, Chris and the wolves were in on our plan. Everyone, including Marie had to believe I was dead. That way I could get to Emery and his family and plan on how to rescue everyone. It would be tough, but I knew we would do it.

And as I led my love and I to my death, I watched my brother and a pack of monsters appear out of the darkness.


	25. Chapter 24: My Final Demise

Chp 24: My Final Demise

We walked along an alley, looking for invisible werewolves, basically as far apart as the wet grimy walls would allow us. I didn't know why I hadn't asked myself why we were still on the same shift still. We'd been apart what seemed like years to me. It probably didn't even matter to him. I'd hurt him.

I looked at him confusedly, frowning at him. His eyes smouldered with repressed emotion –that looked like it might have been sadness.

"What's wrong, Damian?" He shook his head slightly.

"I can sense something coming. It's not a big deal," I looked away, trying not to let everything bother me too much.

What had gone wrong? What had I done? Though I knew it wasn't really my fault, I still felt it was my fault.

I was numb again –I only vaguely felt like ripping Chris's throat out for doing this to us.

I knew I shouldn't have let _him_ take me out of that numb state I had been in, in the very beginning. I had been tempted, dragged out, and now I was stuck between numbness and awareness was again. He didn't love me anymore. It was my entire fault anyway for letting Chris get too close to me. Life had been worth living when I had been with him. But now… I just didn't know anymore. Emotions suck.

"You don't need to worry so much –I can take care of it." I don't know what possessed me to say that, but I immediately regretted it. I shouldn't say another word to him.

"I really hope so…"

"What?"

"Nothing."

I slapped myself mentally. I had to let the numbness incapacitate me again. It was the only way I was going to survive the rest of my stupid, moronic, too long, eternal life.

Suddenly a shiver ran down my spine, and my eyes flashed to everything ahead of us. I sensed something.

My first reaction was to reach for his arm, but I managed to stop myself before I could. It would appear that may arm only twitched. It agonized me that I couldn't hear his thoughts anymore, not just because I was still selfishly in love with him, but because I wanted to know if he had noticed my reaction and what he had thought of it.

The emotion that followed that was almost crippling. But my face remained indifferent. As always. I would show no one my pain again. It wasn't anyone else's problem. Damian should've listened to that in the beginning. It would have saved us the heartbreak. Or maybe just save me the heartbreak.

I really had to ask myself if he ever really loved me. Was it only because he was a gentleman, and he wanted to make a broken soul feel better? I could see him doing that. But would he have carried it out as long as he had?

My second reaction was that I started sniffing the air discreetly. And the emotion –or rather, the instinct– was I wanted to kill. I wanted to rip the something that smelt so bad apart into tiny little shreds. A werewolf. We learned this in class. This was the feeling that you should get. Werewolves were approaching us. Not just one – there were eight, plus someone or something much smaller. It sounded like a person's steps.

You could hear them padding their way across the pavement now.

It seemed I couldn't contain myself, couldn't keep myself from wanting to kill them.

All of a sudden I was in stalking mode. I heard the footsteps get closer. And something appeared in the darkness. Glowing red eyes.

Massive déjà vu swept over me, but my instincts took control of me. I knew in the back of my mind, this was exactly like my dream. I would just pray to god that this wouldn't turn out like my dream. True, I was broken when Damian and I weren't together –when he told me he didn't love me. But if he was dead… I would die too.

The surprise that Chris stepped out first, his eyes blood red, couldn't even faze me and distract me from the temptation, the seduction to kill. My eyes quickly shifted from him to the two giant beasts who took their place beside him. I could hear the panting and breathing of all the animals behind him too.

Everyone stopped. Damian stepped closer to me, and I didn't know if I felt like flinching back or not. I was focusing on holding back, trying not to lunge at the huge dark greyish wolf that was the closest to me.

"Hello brother." Chris saluted coldly. I started to twitch, and I hissed. Chris smiled evilly, his eyes matching his stance –cold, icy, malevolent.

My hesitation was waning. It was becoming much harder to stop myself.

Damian actually stepped right up to me now and wrapped is arms around my waist securely, restraining me as he began to talk to his brother. Everything was so surreal. I was beyond understanding or acknowledging what he was doing. He was giving mixed signals. One minute he never wanted to talk to me, to be around me. And now he was holding me.

But my instincts, the pure monstrous animal inside me had me completely taken over. I didn't care about that at the moment. I wanted to massacre the wretched beings. I continued to shake in his arms.

"Hello Christopher. You know what we're here to do. Don't make me have to kill you –my own brother." All of this was irrelevant to me. I now attempted to jerk away from him, trying to attack the nearby werewolf. It growled loudly, a rumbling sound, and raised its lips, baring its razor sharp teeth at me. I did the same, growling low in my chest, and I almost snapped then. He tightened his arms around me, restricting me even more.

"You know which side is right Damian. I've chosen my side. What you do here will decide yours,"

My eyes glazed over as one of the werewolves jutted out slightly from the pack of them, hackles raised, muzzle dripping with saliva, glaring straight into my eyes. Its fiery eyes reflected my image, and I could care less about how much of a vicious animal I looked in the mirror of its eyes. I wanted to kill.

I lurched forward, unyielding now, trying everything to get out of Damian's strong arms. Even he, who was probably stronger than me, could barely keep a hold of me. He pulled me back roughly, holding me to him.

"Don't do it," He whispered in my ear seductively. I wouldn't listen to that tempting voice as much as I wanted to.

"Not yet," He murmured more urgently. But that was it. I couldn't hold back anymore. I lunged, and finally got free of his arms in the same instant that the werewolf charged at me.

"_No!_" He screamed as the wolf and I met in mid air and slammed into each other with a loud bang. I think I heard a crack coming from inside its chest.

It pinned me down to the ground. I growled, snarled and hissed, trying to bite its paws and face off. And no matter how strong I might have been, it was way stronger. This was going exactly like my dream. But this thought was only vague in the back of my head. Instincts overpowered everything else. It whimpered slightly as I dug my teeth into its paw, and it growled ferociously, baring its teeth and lowering its head more.

Then suddenly it disappeared from on top of me, and I was momentarily stunned, lying on the wet ground. But then I was pulled up into the security of his arms, and was quickly placed beside him.

Hideous snarls came from the end of the alley –he'd thrown the werewolf off of me. Forgetting completely about the situation we were in, I turned and looked directly into his eyes. He stared right back, his eyes slightly sad. I didn't know what to think –what to feel.

All of a sudden we were surrounded. There was no way we could get out. My eyes widened. This couldn't be happening. It _couldn't_…

Damian had my hand clutched in his, but then he squeezed and let go.

_No_.

"Get out of here." He said it with no emphasis, no emotion.

I was astonished –shocked to the point where I couldn't react to anything. He pushed me out of the circle of werewolves, and how he managed to get me through all the furry legs I would never know.

The wolves moved in. I wanted to do something. But I couldn't move my deadened legs. I was too stunned. This couldn't be happening. It had to be a dream.

Suddenly I heard a shredding sound –grating, ripping metal and or shattering glass would describe the sound perfectly. But I didn't hear a single scream.

"No…" I choked low under my breath. Pearly coloured blood collected and pooled in a river towards me.

With a devastated expression, translucent tears of my own blood running down my face, I finally forced my frozen legs to move and sprinted, knocking one of the wolves in my way to him off its feet.

I grappled with a few others, desperately trying to get to him.

"_Damian!_" I screamed, tears rolling down my face. What had I done? Why had I been so stupid? Why was I so awful?

I threw the last werewolf in my way down the alley and dropped to my knees beside his mangled body, lying in a pool of blood on the pavement. My eyes couldn't get wider or more horrified.

I leaned down, lifting him into my arms. He was dying. I could see the life slipping from his eyes as they slowly began to become hazy. I did not care that he did not love me. I still loved him, and I would for the rest of eternity if eternity didn't end here.

I bit my wrist, drawing blood, and quickly placed it at his lips. But he turned his head, and with one of his hands, weakly pushed it away. What was he doing…?

"Damian… I'm so sorry. But this is the only way you can–" He cut me off by pulling my head down and pressing his lips lightly to mine.

"Don't Marie. Get out of here… Take care of yourself." He murmured softly, his voice faltering. I shook my head, more tears rolling down my cheeks. He closed his dark eyes. His body went limp in my arms. And I shattered.

I let out an ear-splitting scream, cradled him in my arms, burying my head in his chest. No. No. No. This wasn't real, this _wasn't_ happening…

Footsteps seemed to echo in my ears as I heard a lone person approach. I held him for a few minutes, the thoughts in my head incomprehensible even to myself. Nothing made sense. Nothing added up. He couldn't be gone. He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't…

I didn't cry anymore though. I was dead.

Then seemingly out of the blue someone touched my shoulder. Forcing myself to look up from where I had my face planted in his chest, I saw Chris standing over me, his eyes hard as he watched me. And my reaction was instantaneous. I couldn't stop myself as I lurched up from where I had been kneeling and punched him in the jaw. A splintering sound rebounded around the alley and he flew back a couple feet, holding the place where my fist had struck.

"_He was your brother!_" I screeched at him, glowering at him mercilessly as he held his jaw in place. I was so angered I was shaking. No words could really describe how I was feeling.

It looked as if it had been broken.

"_He was your brother and you let them murder him!_ What kind of abject creature are you? If what I was told about werewolves is true, you are _worse_ than them!"

He glanced away, getting to his feet slowly, pushing himself up off the ground. The werewolves began to form a circle around me again, growling and glaring at me, and blocking my view of Damian as they pushed me away. One of them picked him up in its giant, vicious jaws. My eyes widened further and I pushed back, trying to reach him again. I would not let him become one of their trophies.

"No… No! Put him down you bastard! Let him go!"

One of them pushed me back even further… and that's when I heard the yelling.

"_Marie!_ Oh my god, Marie!" Someone screamed. Kathy. I was just about ready to burst then.

And then, all of a sudden, they started to retreat into the darkness, taking my love with them. I fell to my knees again, not able to breathe, clutching my chest, as Chris stopped to look at me a moment longer. His eyes held no emotion. They were cruel and now hard onyx as he stared at me. I looked down to the ground, his looks reminding me too much of _him_.

And then he vanished.

In the next second two people had their arms around me, kneeling on the ground in front and beside me. Kathy and Will.

I collapsed into whoever was in front of me, and since it felt like a man's hard chest I knew it was Will. My body gave out on me then. Everything was too much to handle. He wasn't gone. He _was not_ gone…

I felt someone moving and then I was turned over to see Will and Kathy's faces. Will held me to his chest, and Kathy stroked my face, brushed my hair away, her eyes wide and frightened.

"Marie? Marie, are you all right? Please give me an answer," She kept up this begging for several minutes but I felt dead –trapped inside my own body, not able to move or speak, feeling nothing, but also the pain of losing _him_ coming and going.

I felt that my face was frozen in a somewhat horrified, blank expression, my slightly wide eyes staring up at the dark sky, or rather, what Kathy didn't block of it with her face.

"William, what do we do?" She asked anxiously. She only said his full name was she was extremely uneasy.

He didn't answer. He only proceeded in picking me up in his arms and began walking. Kathy watched me worriedly the whole time.

"Is she going to be fine? What's wrong with her? And where's Damian?"

Will just looked at her. And awful realization dawned on her face in the next moment, causing her jaw to drop in shock, and I heard a whimper come from her.

"Marie… Oh my…" I heard her choke back a sob, and Will moved closer to her, attempting to comfort her even from his position. She buried her face on his arm, the sleeve of his light shirt.

I guess they knew now. But it didn't really matter. He was gone forever. And there wasn't anything anyone could do about –anything that could make me whole again.

x

Kathy and Will had rushed me back to our dorm. They tried to get a reaction out of me, saying many different things, some things that might have even stung, but I didn't feel anything. I went through periods of awareness and then periods where I sort of blanked out. My eyes were open the whole time, and I never really went to sleep.

I don't know how long exactly I was like that. But I knew I was on my bed, and Kathy or Will was always by my side, trying to get me to 'wake up'.

"Do you think she's in a coma? Or just in shock?"

"Well, from my guess I think she's just in shock. She wasn't hurt when you found her, she didn't lose any blood. It's probably just the shock of seeing a friend die."

I was actually hurt when she found me. I had been shattered into a million pieces.

"When will she be okay, then?"

"I don't really know. It could be when someone says something she needs to hear… or possibly when she's ready to come out. But right now she's healing herself; the comatose state she's in is only a protective cocoon for now. She'll be all right. Just give her time."

I think I recognized the voice, and it almost made me feel something. It was Nathaniel.

"Well, I hope she'll wake up in time for his funeral. I'm sure she wouldn't want to miss it…" She trailed off, and I heard her start to dry sob.

Poor Kathy. She was going through a hard time, and I was only making it worse. I wish I could feel something, so I could wake up and help her, but I couldn't.

Some other people came to see me, including my closer acquaintances.

Even Bridgette went with Jason and set aside her usual resentment of me to come see me. Taylor came with Kayla apparently too and it seemed she was somewhat concerned while Taylor conveyed his sadness and anxiousness over me more apparently.

Pat and Miguel came as well, to see me and also to comfort Kathy. She was going through a hard time coping with _his_ death and the state I was in.

Suddenly I felt someone sitting beside me, and other people hovering over me.

"She flinched again," Kathy said slightly in awe.

I flinched…?

"Again? Does she do it often?"

"Sometimes… There's probably something going on in there. Hopefully she'll wake up soon."

I was starting to feel things now… or rather, pain. As much as I wanted to wake up and help Kathy, and relieve everyone who was worried over me, I couldn't help but miss the numbness. I don't know why they even cared so much; why they didn't give up on me and dump my lifeless body in a ditch somewhere. I wasn't useful to anyone in the state I was in.

After they left Kathy and Will sat down on the bed beside me.

"I really hope she wakes up soon… His funeral is tomorrow." She said unsteadily.

All of a sudden I felt alive –and then I was finally able to do something. I choked out, and blinked, anguish running through me.

"Marie! Oh my gosh, we were so worried." She leaned down and hugged me tightly. I wrapped my arms around her lightly as she squeezed me.

"How are you? Are you all right? You can talk to me about anything you want."

I blinked a few times, clearing my eyes. Will and Kathy stared at me anxiously, and I sighed. I was beginning to feel the numbness return as it always did and I was thankful.

"I'm all right for now Kathy." My voice was a little bit strained and rough from lack of use.

Her eyes widened at the sound and smiled slightly in relief.

"I'm so glad to see you awake Marie, you have no idea. Now… you look like you need to go hunting. Do you want me to take you now?"

I bit my lip and grimaced, trying not to let tears and sorrow resurface.

"Not now Kathy… I have to tell you something about that. And I need time to–"

She held up a finger to silence me, a small smile on her accepting face. I could see the apparent, abnormal grief in her eyes though. It was strange to see Kathy sad and or depressed. She was too happy of a person to see that emotion in her expressions and actions.

"I understand completely. Don't worry about it… You just need to relax for now. Like we _all_ need to…"

I glanced behind her to see Taylor sitting with Kayla on the couch. He had an apprehensive, eager expression as he stared in my direction and Kayla had a resentful look on her face –as always.

Kathy leaned in more to whisper in an irritated tone into my ear, "He hasn't left this room since we brought you back here and he found out what happened."

I couldn't feel anything, where in another case I would be severely aggravated with him, so I just nodded.

"Do you want me to usher him out of here?" I inclined my head slightly and she smiled a little wider.

"Come on Taylor, she needs to rest." She shoved him towards the door lightly as soon as he had stood up. But he craned his neck to look at me, me who was lying behind Will on the bed. He sat almost protectively in front of me.

"Can I just talk to you for a moment Marie?" Kathy huffed, agitated and pushed him once more.

"She needs to be alone right now if you can understand,"

Suddenly he was standing at the foot of the bed, and sitting down as close as he could get with Will sitting beside me. It seemed as if Will was glaring at him.

"I am so sorry… I know it was probably very hard for you to lose Damian. He was a good guy, a good friend that you lost right in front of your eyes, and I just want to let you know that I'm here for you. Anything you want, you just come to me." I noted the way he enunciated certain words like 'good friend' a little time too intensely.

Once he had mentioned _his_ name I almost lost it, and I gripped the pillow hard. Will laid a hand on my shoulder and continued to glower at Taylor.

"Thank-you Taylor –I appreciate that."

"But we need to leave her alone now," Will finally added in a hard, concluding tone. It was so weird hearing his voice because he wasn't one to talk much, though his voice like many other men I knew now was low and attractive.

Kathy was instantly beside Taylor again and tugging him almost roughly up by his arm.

I saw Kayla, tapping her toe anxiously by the door, staring at and waiting for Taylor anxiously, obviously wanting to give me the much needed privacy Kathy claimed I needed, who was letting Kathy now shove him across the room again.

Kathy opened the door for both of them and they exited, Taylor exclaiming loudly, "I'll see you later Marie!"

I sighed, and tried not to let the tears fall as I sat up. Will, surprisingly, put his arm around me comfortingly.

"I can't imagine what you're going through Marie. I'm so sorry I can't do anything –I can't imagine a world without Kathy…" He murmured in my ear and I nodded. He was just trying to comfort me.

She sat down cross-legged next to me on my other side and put her arm around me also.

But then she sighed.

"So… do you remember anything? Were you aware during any of the time?" She almost whispered her words.

I knew what she meant, and I exhaled heavily.

"I drifted in and out at some times. And yes. I remember everything in perfect detail."

You would think I had to. My life had basically ended with him.

I felt Will's hand squeeze my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Marie. I think all of us are devastated… But not as equally devastated as you. I couldn't comprehend what you're feeling." Kathy murmured in my ear, winding both her arms around me now.

"Actually, I'm not really feeling anything right now." Kathy's eyes widened before she grimaced.

At that moment I wished I could tell them that Damian and I hadn't been together for the last few days of his life. I wished I could tell them the truth, but I was only protecting them. They didn't need to know that.

"You know what's happening tomorrow then," She asked hesitantly in a pained voice.

I sucked in a sharp breath as tears sprung to my eyes. I shut my eyes tightly to prevent them from spilling over.

"I know. It's so hard… you don't have to go if you don't want to." I shook my head forcefully.

"I'm going. It would be awful of me not to go."

Kathy shook her head, somewhat in wonder, and pulled us down so we were lying down on the bed. We talked little, and Will always joined in on our short conversations from where he sat, looking down at us. She was trying to distract me from the disheartening event that was coming.

I didn't go to the next days' classes. Kathy stayed with me as the hour got closer and closer. It was in the afternoon. I had to choke back all emotion while I was there, or I didn't think I would make it. I had to pull through this, so I could live the rest of my dismal immortal life.

"It's almost time… we should be getting ready…" Will muttered monotonously. Kathy sighed roughly, looking almost as if she was going to cry, and pulled us up off the bed.

We stood awkwardly hand in hand. She looked to the ground.

"Umm… I wouldn't think you have a black dress suitable for… Come here, I have a few." She muttered, pulling my hand lightly, guiding her over to her closet again. I'd never seen Kathy so cheerless.

She picked out a plain black dress for me and her, and then I quickly slipped it on in the bathroom, looking over myself in the mirror.

Well one thing was for sure… I did look awful. Kathy was right when she said I needed to hunt. I had deep purple bags under my eyes and my eyes were coal black. True, black for an eye colour was not that conspicuous but it was still better to have my natural colour.

I looked extremely sick. But I could care less as I moved to apply my own eyeliner and makeup. Kathy had shown me a few things before, in our spare time.

When we emerged in our black dresses I saw Will sitting upright, waiting patiently in his suit and tie with a solemn look on his face. He stood up when we entered.

Kathy crossed the space between him and her quickly, sauntering into his arms.

I looked away. This sight was almost too painful, though I knew it was fairly selfish of me to think like that. I and _he _wouldn't be like that even if he were still alive. _Remember…? He didn't love you before he died. He still wouldn't love you if he were alive right now. Maybe he never even did love you, _I reminded myself this almost all the time, though it didn't really help at all. It just brought me back to the harsh reality.

She walked over to me as she saw the look on my face, and wrapped her other arm around my shoulders, Will's arm still around her.

"It's okay Marie. We're going to make it through this,"

I let that comment slide, thinking nothing of it.

She gave me a half hearted reassuring look, and then we were walking out the door and through the hallways. I knew they were familiar, yet they seemed new somehow. It was probably because I was walking through these halls now an altered person.

We slowly walked out of the building, mainly looking at the ground. It was a dreary, dark day –a grey mass of clouds blocked the sun out, and it seemed that at any moment it was going to rain. It was just as well. I don't think the sun shining brightly with a baby blue sky would make me feel any better.

Kathy led me over to a fairly large procession of people, all huddled and moving towards something. I presumed that something to be a coffin with no body in it, and the tombstone that marked where it would be buried. I choked back another sob and forced myself to remain calm –to be indignant. It was the only way I would be able to get through this. Kathy squeezed me as we continued to walk over to the crowd of people. Finally when we caught up to them, they stopped, and I saw a fairly large cross with _his _name on it. I took a deep shaky breath and then exhaled, willing everything to shut down. I stopped walking for a moment, closing my eyes to collect myself.

_He never loved you. There is absolutely no reason you should be feeling the devastating loss you're mourning over. If you had have died instead of him, he would not feel anything whatsoever. He never cared. He never loved you. _

"Marie –are you coming? Are you all right?" Kathy murmured more monotonously than anxiously.

Huh. What a question to ask at a funeral.

"Sorry –and yes I'm fine." My voice held absolutely no emotion, and I could tell it scared the few people that heard around us. Kathy even seemed a little affected. But she moved her hand so she held mine tightly.

People began to file into rows and sit down on chairs that I swore hadn't been there a moment earlier. Maybe I just didn't notice them in my now numb state. Or maybe my mind was going to betray me now and play tricks on me.

Kathy, Will and I found seats in the front row. And then the ceremony began shortly after that.

I sat through it numbly, watching Nathaniel act as the priest. Some people went up and said some memorable and nice things about _him_. I would have gone up and said something. But I'd just gotten into this relieving deadening state, and I didn't plan on leaving it soon. If I went up I would end up freaking everyone out by crying, breaking down and going into a hysterical fit most likely.

When it was time to lay flowers and other various things on the coffin, everyone rose including Kathy, Will and I. Somehow red roses and one white rose had materialized in his hands. Or maybe I hadn't noticed them too.

He handed me the white rose. And I took it from his extended hand. He handed me a red rose next. These roses represented something, and though I knew their meaning I did not want to delve into it. I didn't even know if I believed that.

We got in line, and we were soon at the front, laying the roses on the coffin so the coffin and the body that was not inside could be laid to rest forever. First I put down the red rose. Then the white. And then touching it one last time, though this really had no meaning, Nathaniel walked over to talk to me.

"You're a brave soul Marie. I know you're torn up over it, as you should be. But it was for the best –he was corrupted."

I turned to look at him full on, staring deep into his eyes. I knew I unnerved him slightly at least. I could see my expression in the mirror of his eyes, and it was eerie even to me.

"Did you think you could keep him forever? Silly, silly Marie… You're lucky I pitied your relationship with him as long as I did. The werewolf ended up doing my job for me,"

That was enough out of him. I didn't want to hear anymore.

"I haven't a clue as to what you are talking about Nathaniel. But if I had have been in a relationship with him, I would have counted myself lucky to be with him for any amount of time. He was a very interesting man, very humble, very gentleman. I don't know what you're talking about; him, a corrupt man? He was too loyal a person to betray anyone or do anything of the kind. And everyone should honour his memory for these things,"

A few people around me that heard my little cool speech approved with agreeable nods and murmurs. Nathaniel narrowed his eyes on me and turned to walk away, talk to the next person. That had been less horrible and piercing than I had thought it would have been. I came out of that conversation still numb. It was lucky for me and everyone else.

Soon everyone began to walk away, leaving me Kathy and Will, standing around the tree the grave was. The coffin had been lowered and buried. Now I was standing in front of the tombstone, fiddling with something on my wrist that I'd never taken off for a moment.

Kathy touched my shoulder.

"Marie…? Do you need a moment?"

I nodded sullenly and she turned, leaving with Will. They disappeared quickly… just like everything good in my not-life.

I sat down in front of the tombstone, crossing my legs native style and stared at his name.

I never thought I would be sitting here, on the foot of his grave ever. But I guess I really was naive to think it could've lasted forever.

My finger traced his name engraved into the stone cross tediously. Then I sighed, reaching for the clasp on the bracelet. I'd never deserved to wear it anyway.

Rain droplets began to fall, splattering on my cheeks and hair, turning the white stone a greyish colour.

I touched my lips to it softly then fastened it around one of the many intricate patterned adornments on the stone, somewhere where weather couldn't reach it or harm it in any way.

It would remain here forever and always, as a part of me always would.


	26. Chapter 25: Don't Worry!

Don't worry –hang in there, I know it's devastating! It made me cry writing it. But anyway… I'm going to be posting my sequel To Ashes soon depending on how much attention this gets. Ima not post anymore if no one wants to read. So read, review (even if it's hate mail v.v) and make me happy. Love ya, thanks for sticking by for so long :D

-jesca

**To find To Ashes (the sequel, I'm sorry, I just want to be clear ;D) go to my profile page, go all the way to the bottom and look for 'My Stories' and it will be there. And I'm going to give you a little hintidy hint hint right now, since I know the ending is so disheartening, that it gets MUCH BETTER THAN THIS ;D So stay tuned, and don't get bummed out and not read any more! -.- :**


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